Going Back to Sleep

By the time you finish reading this post, “The Fly” will be snoring like a baby who just finished smoking a Cuban cigar.

We’re due for a pullback. Okay, are you happy? I’m not going to “fag the fuck out” on one small drop, after such a fanatical melt up. I have my own set of issues to deal with, all pertaining to back office bullshit. Long story short: aside from select tech, stocks are pulling in just a little. If I may be so bold, I suggest you walk away from your monitors, in exchange for something fun—like a nap.

Goldman upgraded my PH to a buy from neutral this morning; but the effects are muted. I am enjoying minor declines in just about everything but FAZ, PH, PWER, FORM and JST.

Off to take a rich man’s nap.

Ciao (the most annoying form of goodbye, worldwide)

I hear lots of bullshit tom-fuckery, regarding Europe and how they will inevitably collapse and rape everyone. I hear the same shit about Japan, as eloquently pointed out by Hugh Hendry, calling them a “nuclear bomb strapped onto the chest of the global economy.” Quite frankly and respectfully, no one gives a shit. People are too busy spending their bonus checks, whilst concocting plans to export the low paying factory jobs, that your Uncle needs to eat, to Shenzen, China.

Life is grande if you are part of the haves. As for the “have nots,” let them eat cake.

I’m a big believer in Darwinism and how some are destined to shine shoes, while others piss on the world from atop Cadillac Mountain. Having said that, I step into Monday’s trading with mixed emotions. Inside my personal account, I am heavily hedged with FAZ. For managed, I am 90% long and strong, like two cocks stuck in a hammock.

It is my belief we are in the midst of extending the current bubble into the absurd. The Gilded Era is upon us, where gluttony and hedonism reign supreme. I’ve secured reservations for Per Se, fully satisfied with their egregious $1,200 per plate dining experience and a 4-6 month wait. I am able to do this, AND MORE, thanks to my time machine and space alien magician ways. Plus, it helps a great deal to be blessed with an IQ, just above 155.

As for you: it’s not necessary that you visit iBankCoin on a daily basis, for we will visit you. I’ve taken the liberties to secure all of the locations of our readership and put all of you, mind you, on 23 hour surveillance (everyone deserves a little privacy). Our IT department is developing offensive internet weapons that can effectively fry your PC and cause small explosions inside of your office, which may result in your decapitation.

A great man once asked: “is that a threat?”

Absolutely.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x70T7QYhQyE 616 500]

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_tLat70wMI 616 500]

Pardon me as I offend your northern sensibilities. Today’s rally was one big ol’ giant jerkoff, purported by Northern devils pursuing great acts of aggression towards the gentlemen of the south. As you well know by now, thanks to our resident southern gentleman, Senator Gint and now myself, all of the money is now in the south. Therefore, it goes without saying, when the stock market gyrates (Elvis) in such a way as it did today, it offends the conservative, God given nature, of the south.

Might I add, the great beard of the north, Mr. Ben Bernanke (formerly from the south), is committing treason upon this great nation, thanks to Barack Hussein Obama. As God once told me in my dreams, if you voted for Obama, then you are a communist. If you are a communist, then you are evil. And, as God is my witness (praise the Lord), right hither, if you are inclined to pursue a lifestyle that may be perceived as evil, then I will stop you where you stand, with my shiny new Winchester.

As for the investing climate of today’s session, it was mighty fine if you ask me. Although I bought myself a mighty large plate of FAZ, mostly as a hedge, my other positions did just fine. For the week, I pretty much tread water. However, I intend to make a great deal of money next week, as I slobber over an extra large serving of BBQ breaded chicken livers, grits and gravy.

Ya’ll come back now. Hear?

Your truly and respectfully,

Southern Gentleman Fly (SGF)

God Bless America and God.

I don’t particularly like the tone of the market, at least at the moment. Plus, The PPT is ranking some inverses “buys” for the second consecutive day, following the second ever OVERSOLD rating on SDS, following the 10,000th (it seems) 3.00+ reading on the Overall Hybrid. Putting the hubris aside, we are significantly over-bought. Howsoever, that doesn’t mean we will drop like a stone. For precautionary reasons, I tightened up a bit here, selling out of MAS, QNST, trimming a few others, and adding to FAZ, in a fairly significant way for my personal. Essentially, I am asking for a pause here, in order to better evaluate the market later.

At the same time, I bought some EXK, FORM and SOHU. They look so fucking good and I really hate missing out on anything. You don’t get it. When I see a stock go up without me, it angers me to no end. My entire day can be ruined with a 5% move up in some dick-faced stock that I have on my watchlist. That’s why, especially in this market, I buy first, ask questions later.

Having said that, some of my positions are under water. I am looking at 1-6% losses on several names. But that’s part of the game, so I accept it. Sometimes you need to stop worrying and trust your original instincts of what got you into the stock, sort of like test taking. Everyone knows it makes little sense to second guess oneself when taking a test. If you marked A and have no idea if that answer is correct or not, don’t change it to C, just for the sake of changing it. For most of my losers, I will keep the losses limited to 10%. Until then, I will go about my business, shuffling the decks as best I can, in an attempt to catch some timely trades.

I bought a little EXK, FORM and SOHU. It’s worth noting, I am very tempted to buy EDZ.

UPDATE: I bought 15,000 FAZ, for my personal, to hedge.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your wife will leave you for someone richer. And, you may lose money.

We only added about 100,000 jobs for the month of December. But, and this is a BIG but, we eliminated over 500,000 n00bs from the workforce, successfully reducing the egregious unemployment rate to 9.4%. A great man once said “if you can’t create new jobs, then get rid of the unemployed.”

Where did these people go?

Answer: who gives a shit? FEMA re-education camps? No one knows or cares. The bottom line is futures are up and QE2 is in full effect. Here’s a little hash tag action for you twitter people: #POMO, #QE2, #NOINFLATION, #GLOBALGROWTH, #THEBEARD, #FUCKSPAIN, #MELTUP, #FACEBOOK.

Like I said before, this rally is celestial. You little southern idiots can’t fuck with the sun, moon and the earth. This is far and beyond your sphere of influence. We’ve got space alien magicians, my fellow people, buying stocks. Do you really think you can Tea Party this market lower? PFFFFFFFFFFF

As you were.

UPDATE: I sold out of MAS

Despite many of you mentally ill types clamoring for “end of days,” the S&P burped during today’s session. The near term fate of the market will be decided by tomorrow’s jobs reports.

As for me, I have decided to transition over to my Social Networking thesis, in a big way. This means that any and all holdings can be sold at any moment, even now! Going with that theme, over the past two days I’ve bought shares of CTCT, RLOC, QNST and SFLY, all up more than 3% so far.

If you haven’t noticed by now, I am swing trading, almost exclusively, taking 10-20% rips per week. It’s like stealing intelligence from a southerner.

For the day, I was down 0.27%.

I sold out of WTI and AXL. I took said coin and bought MOTR and QNST.

Good day to you.

A great man once said “it only happens because you let it.”

Natural gas stocks are in play. The commodity is the biggest winner of 2011, so far. Shares of SD, CHK and GMXR look great. Nevertheless, I am trained to believe it’s all bullshit. So, I will refrain from chasing. Although I am long GTE, OXY and WTI, I am really more into MOTR-boating and buying up shares of social-networking plays, things of that nature. I hop from thesis to thesis because I get bored easily. While you fat fuckers smoke cigarettes in your cars, windows rolled up, “The Fly” is taking down baseball player annual wages.

Are you going to teach us all how to invest? Fuck off, no one gives a shit.

Due to the spike in yields, the Fed is now insolvent, for all intents and purposes. However, since they are into expanding the money supply, they can simply print-buy Treasuries until they are blue in the face. If you think about it, Bernanke’s mandate has been achieved, as estimated inflation is now around 3%, up from 2%. Yields have gone up; but, nominally, after inflation, they are lower. Ben is a fucking genius; but he will need to get bailed out by Congress, whenever he decides to contract the money supply. His insolvency will be revealed when he decides to sell Treasuries. Because of this fact, I believe he will not be able to control inflation, when needed. When will he sell?

Answer: when inflation gets too hot.

You should know, the Fed doesn’t give a shit about commodity inflation. They only care about wage inflation. Commodities are temporary phenomenons, but wages last for awhile.

With my money, I am hoping for a dip, in order to allocate my last 10% of cash reserves. I am convinced, with the conviction of an innocent man on deathrow, that we trade higher, all based around the laws of science, dictated by the Earth, Sun and the Moon.

NOTE: The PPT will be blessed with a Social Networking Index sometime today.

MCP‘s lock up period expires soon. As sure as I am sitting here, the stock will likely double again. That company can’t mine enough “rare earth” to justify its market cap, currently valued at 5 bill. The price of rare earths have shot up more than 500%, over the past year and no one really knows what the fuck is going on. I do not own the stock and have no intentions of buying it. However, I am sending out a cautionary message to those of you trying to pick tops: be careful shorting hyper momentum stocks in a bubble building market.

These are the good times. It doesn’t get better than this. If you are curious how the dot com bubble traded, look no further than OPEN, CRM and FFIV.

Another thing: quit fucking asking me if I am still in stocks. If I said I bought it and have not posted a sell, I am still long. I am not here to hold your fucking hands, so man the fuck up and do your own research. If you don’t have the internal fortitude and the patience to hold a stock for more than 1 week, while sitting on a 2-3% loss, you are not fit for this business. Get yourself some thicker skin, then get back to me.

During today’s tape, I sold out of some spec chicoms, like CHNG and CHLN. Additionally, I booked egregious profits in RAS and OCZ. With some of the proceeds, I started small positions in RLOC and CTCT. That’s how I roll.

In a word: WEGOHIGHERBITCH.