FED DECISION: QE3 IS A GO

$40 billion per month, with concentration on the mortgage market.

Here is the statement.

For immediate release

Information received since the Federal Open Market Committee met in August suggests that economic activity has continued to expand at a moderate pace in recent months.  Growth in employment has been slow, and the unemployment rate remains elevated.  Household spending has continued to advance, but growth in business fixed investment appears to have slowed.  The housing sector has shown some further signs of improvement, albeit from a depressed level.  Inflation has been subdued, although the prices of some key commodities have increased recently. Longer-term inflation expectations have remained stable.

Consistent with its statutory mandate, the Committee seeks to foster maximum employment and price stability.  The Committee is concerned that, without further policy accommodation, economic growth might not be strong enough to generate sustained improvement in labor market conditions.  Furthermore, strains in global financial markets continue to pose significant downside risks to the economic outlook.  The Committee also anticipates that inflation over the medium term likely would run at or below its 2 percent objective.

To support a stronger economic recovery and to help ensure that inflation, over time, is at the rate most consistent with its dual mandate, the Committee agreed today to increase policy accommodation by purchasing additional agency mortgage-backed securities at a pace of $40 billion per month.  The Committee also will continue through the end of the year its program to extend the average maturity of its holdings of securities as announced in June, and it is maintaining its existing policy of reinvesting principal payments from its holdings of agency debt and agency mortgage-backed securities in agency mortgage-backed securities.  These actions, which together will increase the Committee’s holdings of longer-term securities by about $85 billion each month through the end of the year, should put downward pressure on longer-term interest rates, support mortgage markets, and help to make broader financial conditions more accommodative.

The Committee will closely monitor incoming information on economic and financial developments in coming months.  If the outlook for the labor market does not improve substantially, the Committee will continue its purchases of agency mortgage-backed securities, undertake additional asset purchases, and employ its other policy tools as appropriate until such improvement is achieved in a context of price stability.  In determining the size, pace, and composition of its asset purchases, the Committee will, as always, take appropriate account of the likely efficacy and costs of such purchases.

To support continued progress toward maximum employment and price stability, the Committee expects that a highly accommodative stance of monetary policy will remain appropriate for a considerable time after the economic recovery strengthens.  In particular, the Committee also decided today to keep the target range for the federal funds rate at 0 to 1/4 percent and currently anticipates that exceptionally low levels for the federal funds rate are likely to be warranted at least through mid-2015.

Voting for the FOMC monetary policy action were: Ben S. Bernanke, Chairman; William C. Dudley, Vice Chairman; Elizabeth A. Duke; Dennis P. Lockhart; Sandra Pianalto; Jerome H. Powell; Sarah Bloom Raskin; Jeremy C. Stein; Daniel K. Tarullo; John C. Williams; and Janet L. Yellen.  Voting against the action was Jeffrey M. Lacker, who opposed additional asset purchases and preferred to omit the description of the time period over which exceptionally low levels for the federal funds rate are likely to be warranted.

I am watching the CEO of New Balance and chuckling to myself (I never laugh) because this fucking stupid country that I live is going to lift what little tariffs remains on shoe imports, which would leave New Balance (the only company left manufacturing sneakers here in America) at a serious disadvantage. You are pondering, disadvantage to whom? Why, I will tell you straight away: the fucking Vietnamese.

My father is likely turning in his grave at the spectacle of this bastard country because of “the leaders.” Over 55,000 Americans died in Vietnam FOR NOTHING. The assholes in charge wanted to stop communism. Instead, they crushed America’s spirit, caused a deep recession, and put a bayonet wound into my father’s leg. Now they are going to remove tariffs that will directly benefit the Vietnamese.

TREASON!

As for the market: don’t get sucked into this market before the Fed. It’s all a parlour trick. The tone of the market will be completely different after Ben speaks. All of the penny stocks that you see here, running higher in degenerate form, will be crushed into fucking dust if the Fed disappoints.

In short, I am refraining from buying until after the Fed. If you are buying before the Fed, well then, expect to endure a great catastrophe should the news go against your expectations.

Every morning I steep a tall glass of earl gray tea for exactly 3 minutes. It’s important to avoid “burning the water” by boiling it too much. Accompanying the tea is a piece of toast, seasoned and with extra virgin olive oil. During today’s breakfast, I rather enjoyed a few slices of Russian Black Bread with poppy seeds. On occasion, like a mouse, I will eat a piece of cheese. My favorite is cave aged gruyere. The tea is purchased from Teavana ($TEA) and is of the highest quality. I like it mixed with milk and organic raw honey. If it is not made this specific way, I will refuse to drink it.

I don’t like sugar and I don’t like buying stocks ahead of Fed decision day.

I am a master of habit and will watch stocks all day, but will refuse to buy any. Once the Fed is out of the way, we can prepare for The Halloween and Turkey Gods– and don’t forget The Santa Claus Rally. Like I said yesterday, I am looking to buy DDD. Additionally, I am interested in RBCN and GLW, because of the iPhone 5.

I’ve been eye-fucking this stock since the high teens. Like a paradiddle, I’ve watched other people get rich in the name, all the while professing the coolness of the company to total-fucking-strangers. This shit gets me upset. I could punch an elephant in the cock right now.

Anyway, I am going to buy the dip in DDD, not because I enjoy thinking about the idea of printing a gun from home, but because the motherfucking PPT says so. You got that, fucked face?

Here, take a look at these numbers, and shut up about it.

Do you see those numbers you jackass? If you were anywhere within 40 feet of me, I’d have your face punched in with them. Those numbers are gold, pal–derived from the digital mind of an investing genius. We can play games and talk about “what ifs.” But the fact remains constant, The PPT doesn’t get DDD wrong.

To fags end, the Fed will dictate the near term direction of the market. But after they are out of the way, I have some business with the short sellers in DDD and will be brining burial bags to our meeting.

I couldn’t take the pressure any longer. I caved and sold off some of my positions to raise cash. I lightened up on VHC and liquidated CVO and TC. Simply put, I couldn’t allow myself to be exposed to the caprices of Bernanke, while +30% for the year.

Having said that, I am done selling and will hold the rest of positions into the very worst of markets, black places where demons scourge and plunder investors for sport.

“The Fly” is ready for such an occasion and welcomes a sell off with great zeal, only equal to the birth of my first child.

With today’s gains, I am now up more than 30%, enough to take risk and not worry about falling back in line with my competition. My gains are being spearheaded by VHC, TC, ESRX and of course PPC, as I am The Chicken Man.

I am tempted to sell off 20% of my assets here for cash. That would put me at about 33% cash going into the Fed. I feel that is a prudent level. However, my greed is preventing me from doing so. I need to adhere to the basic principles of proper money management and forgo my barbaric desires of gluttonous, outsized, stock returns.

This business can be very easy and smooth sailing, providing you know when to press your luck. The market has a familiar feel of euphoric perversion, ahead of the Fed.

Without a doubt, the risk is to the downside here, as expectations are through the roof.

UPDATE: I sold out of CVO and some VHC. My cash position is now 25%.

We’ve been programmed by the Fed to expect QE whenever the market goes down. That’s defense. It’s time for some offensive measures.

The Fed is going to implement QE3 as a tool of offense, in a last ditch attempt to rejuvenate the economy to try to cause a ripple effect that will help pay down western debt through higher than expected growth. That’s the plan.

Think about this economy as a big business. The well to do represent more than 70% of consumer spending. They don’t give a shit about gasoline prices, like the rest of you plebs. If gas was $20.00 per gallon, they’d still build 45,000 square foot mansions in Palm Beach. The point is, QE3 is geared to help the rich through asset appreciation. The poor to middle class do not move the needle (no Zuckerberg). Therefore, as a result, the Fed no longer caters to them with high CD rates.

The initial reaction to QE3 may be a sell off. Don’t be alarmed by that shit. The market will go up for 6 months straight. The gains will be nothing less than 20% and if you play your cards correctly, you too will be rich as fuck.

In short, the Fed is about to embark on aggressive offensive measures through POMO. If you doubt Bernanke’s resolve, sell him short via a little TZA. Be my fucking guest.

NOTE: The crop report confirmed THE CORN TRADE IS OVER, as predicted by yours truly. PPC is a buy.

The Fed meeting is coming up and I am intertwixt between greed and fear. I don’t want to delve back into a “promiscuous squalor of barbarism”; therefore, I must sell something ahead of the Fed. The question is what?

Do I cut losses on NFLX and put that cash into a downside hedge or leave it in cash? Or, should I let it all hang out, cock swinging low into a field of bouncing betty landmines?

Many of you have drawn from the worst of luck on many occasions. I, on the other hand, have not. My wins are continuous, as I have a penchant for progress and luxury. Dare I say, it’s a God given right of mine to admonish you arrivistes, parlaying around my favorite eateries in your stupid cars. You are arch fiends, stertorously waffling through life with all of the traits expected of an ape dressed in high thread count shirts. I spit in your general direction, sober, as I refrain from partaking in the use of intoxicants when there is work in the morning.

The talking faces on CNBC will, disgustingly, drone on in voluble manners, dressing their unseasonable opinions to appeal to the natural vagabond, desperately seeking guidance. I will tell you this, as Zeus himself is my witness, my opinions and positions will be paramount to theirs. I will stick their heads inside of my Blendtec and feed the fluids to my carnivorous plants.

The imperious armies of iBankCoin light flame to your faces and then dance on your graves.

A great man once said “I like my meat cold and bloody, just like my wars.”

As do I!

Ragin’ nailed ANGI for nearly a buck today, inside of 12631, and I was speed chopping carrots with my genitalia placed on top of the table inside The PPT.

We are not geniuses for nailing this specific market. We are competent individuals, able to read the tea leaves, on a consistent basis, sharing such intuitions with you– “the people”– because it’s our passion. Some of you choose to throw meatloaf at us, as we perform this public service, because you’re ingrates, born from a low cloth, unable to discern right from wrong. In that regard, you are not to blame–only your bastard parents.

You need to have faith in the market going higher– in perpetuity– to bank coin and enjoy it. Ignorance is the tonic of the rich and fat. Without faith, like organized religion, everything is a sham. It’s confidence that built pyramids (or aliens) and it’s the steady hand of Benjamin Bernanke that will guide your bullshit brokerage accounts to the proverbial promise land.

Get it while it’s hot you hungry fucktards. The stock Gods are pissing gold and shitting diamonds on the world right now (no toilet).

Look at this fucking market rip tits to the upside. This is pure hedonism if I ever saw it. I am sitting here watching Mrs. Fly contract a welder to build “specialty air vents” and I don’t even give a shit. Money is falling from trees onto my desk.

In about an hour, we will be hosting a “rug specialist” who will rob us for some coin and I am positively content with it. Life is good (no Nas) and America is clicking on all cylinders, at least for the elite few who are able to procure 7 figure salaries.

All of my stocks are up, even NFLX. This morning I allocated a portion of my cash to TC and ATML. My total cash position is now 13%. I like ATML for the win, as well as TC, VHC and everything else.

For the love of broken elevator cables racing down shafts, this is a bull market.

Top picks: all of my positions, #TIMESTAMPED and listed in The PPT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW6Y4XMluTU