iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
17,113 Blog Posts

Fly Buy: SKF, REW, SRS

I bought 1,000 [[SKF]] @ $108.94, 1,000 [[REW]] @ $74.46 and 1,000 [[SRS]] @ $111.50.

Disclaimer: If you buy REW because of this post, your healthcare costs will spike due to transgender surgeries. And, you may lose money.

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Fly Buy: SMN

I bought 5,000 [[SMN]] @ $43.30.

Disclaimer: If you buy SMN because of this post, a voodoo physician will curse your portfolio. And, you may lose money.

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Short the Dollar

With OPEC threatening to move off the dollar for euro’s, that fucker (dollar) will make new contract lows, sometime in 2008.

Write that shit down.

Naturally, [[GLD]] or [[SLV]] is a good alternative to the “wheel barrow.” In addition, owing euro’s via [[FXE]], loonies via [[FXC]] or yen via [[FXY]] is a good currency hedge or investment, in my opinion.

Finally, do not be tricked by bullshit spikes in U.S. exports. The only reason why exports are up is due to the lead balloon, aka dollars.

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Bank Stocks are for Losers

Using Cramer’s logic, seeing the old momentum stocks bust caps in the bears, one could make the argument that “late cycle” plays are being bought—due to the end of the arduous recession of 2008.

Some of my old positions are blasting higher, such as [[RIMM]], [[AAPL]], [[RS]], even [[MVIS]]. On the other hand, all of the coveted “early cycle” plays are being beat up and stripped of their lunch money, such as [[SCA]], [[MTG]], [[FHN]], even [[AXP]].

Back on earth, us humans who do not like to gamble with money say “fuck the banks,” as we drink florescent green soda from diamond encrusted chalices.

Ag stocks are very strong, as wheat and other food commodities press higher. Should wheat stay “retardo high,” I want to be short [[PZZA]] and [[DPZ]], due to their inability to pass along cost. [[DBA]] and [[JJA]] are excellent ways to play the boom in food commodities.

Pizzeria’s are fucking doomed.

Finally, I will use this rally in [[RIMM]] to sell. And, I will take advantage of the spikes in [[FCX]] and [[MON]] to buy more [[SMN]].

NOTE: Eric “the oil barrel” Bolling is on Wallstrip today. Special bonus: He says all you global warming believers are asshats. Good stuff.

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Supreme Asshat of the Week Award: Cramer

I know, it’s too easy to pick on the hyper-active bald guy on tv. After all, it’s a tough racket; not many can muster the energy to wear all of his fucking hats. Unless, of course, you snorted an eight ball of coke off of your Red Bull can, every morning, before coffee.

However, I should let you know, Jim is well deserving of severe criticism for his constant fucktarded market calls, while pounding his chest—like a spastic King Kong.

For example: Three weeks ago, Cramer was calling for the end of the stock market, as we know it. Shit, things were so bad, he said we could drop 2,000 points in a single day. Talk about alarmism.

However, immediately following Bernanke’s rate cuts, the once hated Fed in “Cramerica” became a “friend,” enabling Jim to say we were going straight up and shit, “without any pullbacks.”

My favorite “Cramerism” is his recent story about foreign bankers in a bidding war for the worthless assets of [[BSC]]. Shoot, that comment right there deserves immediate asshat awards, no matter how low supply is.

Finally, he’s already discounting the recession, before it happens, suggesting his viewers pile into “early cycle plays”—such as banks, brokers and retail. Then, upon a dip, he tells people to expect these stocks to trade lower?!?!

As you know, I could go on and on—forever. I mean, just today, he pounded the monkey drums on retail, following today’s short covering rally. Anyone who reads his blog, on realmoney.com, knows he contradicts himself three to four times per day.

Sometimes, on special days, he reverses positions within an hour or two—making my realmoney.com subscription entirely worthwhile, yet meaningless

Hence, Cramer gets a “Supreme Asshat of the Week Award.” Take it bro, and run with it.

Congrats.

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What Happened to the Tech Safe Haven?

Just a few months ago, the sub 100 IQ’ers on CNBC told the unwashed (you), “tech is a safe haven. This time it’s different.”

Fifty percent lower, they all concede being wrong, in a big way.

In short, aside from select drugs and utilities, there are no safe havens in bear markets.

As you know, “The Fly” is quite pleased with the current order of things. His portfolio’s are rich, his Monster Energy soda supplies are plentiful and his staff of “illegal Mexcians” are jubilant over “Señor McCain’s” big win.

Typically, I would spend inordinate amounts of time, scouring the market for good stock picks. However, ever since the bear market has befallen us, I have no need to do such asshattery, since everything trades lower in a convoy.

In closing, expect more bad news to inflict severe blows to the small men who buy stocks.

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Fly Buy: SMN

I bought 1,000 [[SMN]] @ $44.75.

Disclaimer: If you buy SMN because of this post, your favorite baseball player will be traded to the Mets or Yankees for a few minor leaguers. And, you may lose money.

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