iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
16,856 Blog Posts

Possible New Position: CMO

Over the weekend, I was doing some screens and found [[CMO]]. With the word “mortgage” in the company name, one would think the stock would be getting killed. But, it is thriving.

Plain and simple, 99% of CMO‘s holdings are Gov’t agency bonds. As rates go lower and the spreads widen, they bank even more coin.

Also, because they have REIT status, the company will pass the extra coin to you (leech investor).

During the last rate cut cycle, CMO went from $8-34, while paying off loads of dividends.

Barring armageddon, CMO can be an interesting play, as rates drop.

Over the next week, I will highlight stocks on my radar, in order to help you understand how men with greater intelligence operate.

Viz.

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You Were Warned

While you incur large market losses today, “The Fly” laughs at your folly.

I fucking warned you this would happen. I told you: “during the first two weeks of the New Year, the ‘homo-hammer of certain death’ will rain down on your gay heads. ”

What did you do to prepare?

You bought more high beta securities.

Tonight, while driving my plutonium powered time machine, I’ll be sure to buy your house, in foreclosure—sometime in the near future.

What to do now?

Fucking sell, asshats.

I’m keeping my [[MVIS]] lotto tickets, mainly because I feel CES will kick ass.

Additionally, I will add to my burgeoning short positions, via [[FXP]] and [[SKF]].

And, I feel [[LEH]] blows. I will sell them short three times today.

Off to celebrate, via throwing large painting at my trader/servant.

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Asshat of the Year Award: Angelo Mozilo

“How ’bout a year end Asshat of the Year Award?”

Angelo Mozilo, CEO, Countrywide Financial 

Oh, there were so many candidates, for “Asshat of the Year Award” in 2007, since there were so many asshats. However, I think it’s fair to say, Angelo “stole the cake,” ate it, then baked a new one.

Mozilo, not to be confused with Firefox’s “mozilla,” or former Met “Lee Mazzilli, is an asshat.

I refuse to explain the reasons as to why Angelo is an asshat. Just look at his stock, [[CFC]].

In short, men like Angelo fucked up the world, with their weak lending standards. Many people will lose their jobs and have their lives flipped upside down, thanks to the retard-in-charge at CFC.

Congrats to Angelo.

A true master in the arts of Asshattery.

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Ridiculous Success Awaits You…

… in 2008.

If you had setbacks in 2007, put them to the back of your mind.

Psychologically, those who use the new year as a “clean slate” or “fresh start” are mentally ill, since our calendar is nothing more than fodder—prior to death. Nonetheless, it works for me.

Mostly everyone I know uses the new year as an opportunity to repair or improve their lives.

From dieting to work ethic, the new year is the proverbial line in the sand, which enables you to change your life for the better. While it’s true, Godly folks, like “The Fly,” leave little room for improvement; there is always something that could be done with greater efficiency.

During 2008, I intend to exert more patience with people and actually listen to grievances, as opposed to “chucking them,” out of my fucking office.

Also, I will make more money.

Finally, don’t feel bad that you’re a pathetic fat fucker. There is plenty of time to correct your “gay ways” and start living a more “Fly life.”

Over the past year, I’ve enjoyed the dialog with many of you, while blogging like a fool— on FlyonWallstreet.blogspot.com and here. I’ve made some decent “internet friends,” and amassed many enemies, who will be attacked with “internet artillery” in 2008.

Heck, I’ve even sold “VIZ.” t-shirts to total strangers.

In closing, be sure to enjoy today’s festivities. But, DO NOT put your family or others at risk by drinking and driving. “The Fly,” as you already know, will celebrate tonight, like a King. The champagne will flow, while colossal shrimp get tossed around like gold coins (gold coins are readily tossed around at “The Fly’s” house).

Enjoy & Cheers.

Fly, 2007

UPDATE: ASSHAT OF THE YEAR AWARD, 2007.

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Predictions for 2008

The elections will be gay.

Taxes will go up.

Emerging markets will get their teeth kicked in, especially “BRIC.”

Commodity prices will remain robust, as food supplies dwindle.

Oil will keep a tight range of $75-90.

Natural gas will break $10.

Gold will break $1,000.

Two major financial institutions will fail.

There will be mergers in the brokerage sector.

Agriculture stocks will outperform in the first half, then dive in the 2nd.

Semiconductor stocks will bore investors to death.

[[CC]] will file for bankruptcy protection.

[[HOV]] will file for bankruptcy protection.

Stem cell stocks will gain momentum, with strong Democratic poll showings.

Utilities will continue to outperform, as old people look for yield.

[[PFE]] will make a big acquisition.

Many solar burrito stocks will drop by 50%, before recovering.

[[RIMM]] will get hit hard, in the second half of 2008.

[[AAPL]] will do well.

[[GOOG]] will lose mojo.

The Dow Jones will fall by 15%.

The Nasdaq will fall by 15-20%.

“The Fly” will still bank coin, despite spending too much time talking to retards on the internets.

Finally, iBankCoin.com will be worth millions.

Viz.

UPDATE: The Earth will explode, much to your chagrin.

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Your Feedback is Not Needed

The Godly folks at iBankCoin.com are on the verge of selecting its first Peanut Gallery blogger, to be awarded his own IBC blog— with revenue sharing/tab and all.

However, for those of you who are not picked, do not lose hope. “The Fly” has a vision of carrying 1,000 bloggers under his gold plated umbrella, in due time.

With those 1,000 bloggers, “The Fly” will seize the financial part of the internet and hand out so many Asshat of the Week awards; it will become a household conversation topic.

For example: At a future dinner table, I envision Dad asking Mom: “Hun, did you see who got the Asshat of the Week award today?” Mom replies: “No Dear, who was it?” Dad concludes: “It was that fucktard Herb the Bearshitter, again (both laughing profusely over a plate of oatmeal).”

A wonderful twisted world, indeed.

Also, we have added many new features to the quote system. Check it out.

Upon doing so, feel free to write your suggestions down on a piece of paper, then give it to some random homeless guy in the subway.

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