Nuts in a Vise

DMND embodies this market. The company has not performed admirably and as a result is saddled with an enormous short position, constituting almost half of the shares outstanding. Do you know what is about to happen to said shorts?

Good Sir, I implore you to step out of the FAZmobile and smell the roses. The air is filled with aromas of sweet ambrosia. The sky is made from cotton and the ground you walk on is candy (specifically jolly ranchers).

As you dick around, embedded in shorts to nowhere, I am banking coin.

I made back all of Friday’s losses, AND MORE, thanks to VHC, DMND, EXK and others. I do not pretend to know everything: I know everything.

This is, mind you, a long only market.

NOTE: the final iteration of the iBankCoin redesign is almost completed. Like I said, I am taking the site back to an old school era, Geocities 1996 and shit. I am entirely fixed on presenting financial information and commentary that is unmatched in the western hemisphere and have made it my stated goal to accomplish this task before the prophecies of the Mayans comes to fruition.

Top picks: stocks mentioned in this post.

I’m not really bored; I just don’t care. Everyone is filled with useless opinions. “Where’s the market going? Oh, you were wrong on your last pick, therefore you suck.” This whole circus act gets monotonous– you know.

For example: the Blogger Network.

Long term frenemy and nuisance, V.King, is advertising his iBC blog that is filled with horseshit, regularly in these hallowed halls. As head gentleman of the lead parlour, am I supposed to just sit here and let that happen? Of course not. Executions will be liberally administrated, in accordance with iBC law. The sooner you come to grips with the fact that I am a superior being, the sooner you will be at peace with yourself. Don’t mimic me or try to curry my favour by doing outlandish things. I am a man of extreme purpose and taking time out of my day to polish this house weazens me.

Futures are flat and I am flush with cash, after selling out of my DECK position on Friday. It was a 12% gain and the Sterne analyst (the only one who nailed DECK) is still cautious on the name. I was thinking about reallocating that cash into some wacko investment, MRVL like. But then I thought about all of the times I was raped and humiliated in September and opted to do nothing instead. Even though I inverse nailed the MRVL trade, I am 1% off my annual highs. I am due (trust me) for a severe draw-down. It has happened to be about 50 times over the past two years: I am my worst enemy.

Heading into the second half of August, I am a net seller, but will remain opportunistic, as always.

Prepare yourselves.

I want nothing more than to inflict irreversible damage to those who are short TEA, DECK, CTRP, EXK and DMND. I want the VHC shorts to suffer too; but it’s not time for that show to being just yet. Mind you, the above stocks are big positions of mine, constituting the majority of my trading assets under management. However, I can’t even get excited about their progress thanks to the rakish effects that MRVL is having on my psyche.

I need my balls to swing low and my website to stick spears in the eyes of her enemies. Why, we’re on the verge of revolutionizing iBankCoin to an old school setting and I can’t even get excited about that. The studios at iBC have produced a horror film, for your eyes to behold, and still, I feel nothing but apathy–all thanks and praise to the dickless bastards who are running MRVL into the dirt.

May the Gods of Bones crush their skulls and grind them into dust.

Into the latter hours of the day, my losses are being offset, now down just 1.8%. I have several stocks on my radar worth purchase; but I have no desire to do anything but grow my beard and do push-ups until my arms fall off.

When MRVL was down 50 cents, I laughed at it. When it went down 1 dollar, I got mad, but felt the loss was small. When it went down $1.25, I got annoyed. When it went down $1.50, I was like “what the fuck is going on here?” With it down nearly $2, I want to skin the person who gave this to me alive and eat his liver. I don’t blame anyone for being pissed at MRVL. This is an unmitigated catastrophe. With $5 in net cash, it looks like the market is going to put that cash to the test.

In a market that is going higher, on a perpetual basis, there is nothing dumber than gambling on an earnings play, without an edge. The problem here, folks, I thought I had an edge, when in fact is was a ticking time bomb about to blow up in my face.

My options are simple: sell and move on or buy more.

Here’s the thing, I don’t want to buy more of this cocksucker. The idea of averaging down in this albatross is making me physically sick. On top of that, this fucking VHC is fucking itself and EXK is on siesta. The net result: I am down about 2.25% for the day. It may not sound like much, but on a day when I should be +0.5%, being down is fucking hateful to me.

I’ve been fuckfaced. However, don’t think for a second you can come here, with your stupid ties and ugly shoes, and pile on–as if I was some sort of garden clown in a box filled with water. I will murder you today, virtually and also in real life.

PREPARE FOR MY NEXT “BIG BET” (fucking asshole I am).

I wanted to hit the ground running and dunk shot with MRVL. Before earnings disappointed this evening, I was sitting at my annual highs. Just last week I was contemplating making MRVL a 20% position, until I got cold feet.

Where did the unmarvelous idea of MRVL come from?

It came from a source of mine, who has been useful and resourceful to me in the past. I didn’t do the research, but trusted he did. Apparently, he was wrong, and by extension, so was I.

In hindsight, what was I to do? Should I have ignored his advice, even thought he’s never let me down in the past? He’s served me well in the past, but will now become excommunicated from the House of Fly. I will move on from MRVL and do well. At 12% of my holdings, I am looking at a 1% draw down from my assets in the AM. Given the current state of the market, I might make a good deal of that back in my other positions. Either way, my confidence is not shaken, not in the least.

My EL position was 10% of assets and it ran +6 on an earnings beat earlier this week. Net, net, I am fantastically up for the year (no homo).

Where will I make up the staggering 1% loss from my assets tomorrow?

Well, I have 10% positions in the following:

DECK, EXK, VHC, CTRP and my little TEA is nearing that level soon. Pick one; they’re all going higher.

This is what we do. The business of speculation is never seamless and “sure things” often turn into marvelous jokes.

We move on.

The IT staff, spearheaded by the legendary/world famous Vincenzo Illuminati, are busy at work, redeveloping a final redesign of the iBankCoin site. I invite you to check in, regularly, to bear witness to what they have invented. Like trading, it’s important acknowledge when something isn’t working. In this case, the noise of too much content diluted the sageness and “epicness” of the annointed “tabbed blogger” apparatus.

iBankCoin will never go mainstream. You will never see our faces on the teevees, not because we are ugly, but because they are ugly.

I’ve decided to hold a 12% weighting in MRVL into earnings, and not go full retard in the name. Although my information and research is second to none, it goes against everything I believe in to bet on a singular event, like an earnings release. Nevertheless, with $5 in net cash, I have good reason to believe the company has adopted an aggressive share buy back program, which may have boosted earnings for the quarter. I will be a buyer into weakness.

Ten minutes to the bell, I am +2.2% for the day, pressing my annual highs of +25%–confident in my long only stance thanks to the collapse of bonds, evidenced by the pinless hand grenade action in TLT. I am going to leave you with a picture of my time machine. Take it to heart when I say “you have nothing on me.” My sources of information are second to none and my algorithms shit on your faces.

NOTE: This is the ledger inside of The PPT. On 7/24, the Overall Hybrid score was flagged OVERSOLD on a 3 and 6 month time frame. The result has been nothing less than stellar–preserving a flawless track record of 6 instances up zero down, upon triggering this sublime and immensely valuable signal.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yY_3sSzPPKI

You know I was a big advocate for YELP, holding it from $21 to $31, back down to $14, then up to $27. Alongside WNR, it has been my biggest winner for 2012. However, recent events in the social media space has given me caution with YELP, specific to lock up periods expiring and out of sync valuations. Without a doubt, YELP is certainly a takeover candidate, but so is everyone else. Aren’t they?

Have a look at some price to sales ratios in the social media space, courtesy of The PPT.

Now let’s sort by market cap.

Notice anything odd?

Fucking YELP, PANW and LNKD are trading at extreme p/s valuations. All three stocks can get cut in half and still be overvalued, when compared to some of the bigger companies in the space. 5x sales seems to be a reasonable place for these stocks to base out. If that’s the case, The FuckBook aka Facebook is heading to $10.

Naturally, we need to give a premium to smaller cap names, due to chances of a buyout. Also, in the case with YELP, it is growing at a 70% clip. I think a “fair” price to sales ratio for YELP, given the compression of valuations in the space, is about 7x sales–matching the valuation of TRIP–another Fly favorite.

In short, I believe YELP is being propped up by hopes and dreams. If anything derails for YELP, if GOOG develops a kick-ass FREE app for Zagat, the stock is heading for the low teens, maybe $12.

Being that I was such a big supporter of the name for so long, I felt it to be an appropriate gesture by me– to offer an explanation– as to why I am no longer invested in YELP or remotely interested.

I started a position in DMND, with every intention of inflicting severe damage to those fuckers who are short walnuts.

You’re gonna love my nuts.

We’ve cast away the leaches and the swine, faux allies pretending to like us. There will not be any “joint marketing” plans and I won’t hold my tongue for the sake of some out of touch corporate sponsor. As discussed in the previous post, iBankCoin is going old school, real old, and I will not tolerate any form of disrespect (no StockTwits).

Markets are ripping. What you see in front of your faces is the reason why I opted not to short. Stocks climbing, after chilling out stupid for the past few days. Who would’ve known, besides me?

The CSCO news bodes well for other networkers, like JDSU, FNSR, RVBD, CIEN and contract manufacturer JBL.

I’m sitting here all morning, mustering up the courage to overweight MRVL into earnings, due out tonight. As of now, it’s a 12% position. I am tempted to go 20%, guns blazing, RPG on my back, suicide vest on my chest.

Silver stocks are acting better, but still not great. EXK is my largest position; but I would not add to it here. Instead, look to CTRP (cheap chinese burrito capable of doubling) off the back of the SINA numbers or DECK.

DECK can easily go FOSL on shorts if the winter starts early. Winter is coming, small plebs from the internets. Prepare yourselves.