Churn ‘Em and Burn ‘Em

Look at this shit. I knew yesterday’s rally was 100% horseshit. It was your typical end of quarter mark up by nefarious gentlemen in darkened, smoke filled, wood rooms–who spend their spare time trying to thrust America into another warzone filled with head chopping maniacs.

We bolted out of the gates yesterday and climbed nearly 300 fucking points, with just 72% breadth. Scores of momo stocks were lagging behind, impotent, flaccid, and completely without erection.

Enter sell off.

Tribal units, clad in tin foil skirts and meat helmets, living near active volcanos, will now spring into action– plowing their net worths into FAZ and TAZ mobiles, fully convinced that the market has topped out, yet again. These people are bedraggled microbes, mentally disabled from assimilating with a modern society.

If I knew what was good for me, I’d go to sleep right now and wake up in a few hours, after the early morning shit-show. My tolerance for this shit is at a new all-time low. I am liable to snap off and punch holes in the wall, toss mugs filled with hot, hot coffee through a window, or two. Or, I might even go old school and slap someone in the face with a scalding slice of pizza.

I want my stock market gains, and I want them now. Being up 16% isn’t enough. I want to be up 16,000% and any set back is merely a waste of my time. I don’t have time to waste and would prefer if we could skip all of this unpleasantness and simply punch–the fuck– higher.

INDEUD.

It took balls to look fear in its face and urinate on it. While everyone was stricken with panic, you, the internet pleb, held firm and told your robo-advisors to get long.

Since my last post, the market has firmed up and entered into “the euphoric zone of no return.” This means, in layman’s terms, that if you are short stock, you are completely fucked.

There is nothing that you can do now. You’re frozen from acting in a reasonable way. So, the only thing left for you to do is simply sit there and lose enormous sums of money.

YOU WERE WARNED, all of you were fucking warned. I have no sympathy for you.

I’m now up 1.2% for the day, slightly below the SPY–due to some of my stocks underperforming. Nevertheless, small boy on the other end of the computer screen, Le Fly is now up 16 fucking percent for the year.

Watch out for the underlying weakness in momo and biotech. I added to my YY position, despite it being weak. That was probably a mistake.

GRUB is nicely higher; and all in all, I am making coin. However, this doesn’t feel like a +200 point day. As a matter of fact, if I was bearish, I’d be encouraged by this action, as it has some traits of a blow off top.

Don’t get me wrong: this is a solid start and we’re up a lot, so that’s a good thing. I’d like to see market breadth higher than 75% on a +250 point day.

Banksters are out and about overlooking their pastoral acreage. The stock market is near new highs. Unemployment is heading lower and the Tea Party is in shambles. If you think about it, every single thing that Rick wants is being denied.

There are scores of poor people with food, hardly starving. Folks who once had upside down mortgages are now flipping homes again. And, Barrack Obama generally does whatever the hell he feels like doing.

The Federal Reserve urinates on Rick’s head. Hedge fund managers keep getting their 2 and 20 for “believing the hype.” And these mergers and acquisitions keep getting in the darn way of a real market breakdown. I am sure Rick was rooting for Greece to shrivel up and die. Without a doubt he was circle jerking at a rapid pace when Italy, France and Spain saw their sovereign debt blow out. Nothing. It all ended up in a giant clown show, with Rick being dunked in the tank.

Do not misconstrue my vigor for Rick’s mishaps as hatred. Nothing could be further from the truth. I love Santelli. After all, without villains like Rick there wouldn’t be super-heroes– like Le Fly– to balance the scales.

Futures are through the fucking roof. It’s April, after all. Mergers are happening and traders are popping viagra and snorting cocaine off the back of their keyboards.

Off to drink a fucking vat of coffee.

Historically, April is the best month of the year. Have a look at the data, courtesy of Exodus.

Let’s not mince words. Life is too short to be coy and pretend that we mean one thing, when in fact we mean another. I want the market to go up by 5% in April. Anything less than a 5% ramp will disappoint me. I intend to lighten up my exposure heading into May, since markets tend to get graped during the warmer climes of the year.

In the interim, “The Fly” will plot and scheme to catch his enemies in one giant snare and then execute them, in a favorable fashion according to medieval law.

I’ll do a seasonality post inside The PPT this week to highlight which stocks typically outperform in April. You will be surprised by some of the choices.

Gentlemen, we are going to make an extreme amount of money this April, a perversion of normalcy if I might be so bold. The volume of business we transact will surpass all previous highs, setting the stage for a most hedonistic summer.

Since I really want to move onto Stanley Kubrick next week, I’m gonna condense all of the awesome things that Orson did in this one post.

Without question, Orson’s greatest talents was his orating skills. His directing career topped out with his first movie, Citizen Kane, and his acting career was a means for him to make enough money in order to finance his own movies so that he could direct them. It must’ve been sad life, really.

He did a lot of television, back in the day. My favorite short story was Fountain of Youth.

He also did some teevee for the UK, in what was called “Sketchbook”. This series is absolutely brilliant. Here is one episode.

Then there was his encounter with Ernest Hemingway. How awesome is this?

Orson pissed off doing demeaning commercials for peas.

Another one of my favorite moves is The Stranger, starring Orson and another favorite of mine Edward G. Robinson, who was prominently featured as the mobster in the Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Here is the entire movie, definitely a film noir classic. This is about a story of an FBI agent (Robinson) in search of runaway Nazis (Welles), post WW2.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwT83N9D1VM

But, without question, the single best acting scene of Orson’s long career was in the movie Compulsion. Just watch it and see for yourself. “Are we crazy?!”

Then there was that magical scene of Orson describing Chartres. This especially resonates with me, being that I value my anonymity.

If you want to see a movie about Orson, but not with Orson, I strongly recommend seeing Me and Orson Welles.

Christian Mckay nailed Orson, truly great.

And then there’s that guy from youtube who does hilarious movie reviews, as Orson.

Other Welles films of note are The Black Rose (co-starring another Hollywood legend who died young, Tyrone Powers. Oh, it also featured Orson Welles as a Chinese man.), Black Magic (good movie with Welles as a practitioner of Black Magic), Mr. Arkadian (lol), The Trial (based on the famous novel by Franz Kafka, an absolute must see for students of the law), Chimes at Midnight (Shakespeare, directed by Welles), Lady from Shanghai (featuring Orson with an absurd Irish accent), The Long Hot Summer (starring Welles and Paul Newman) and Transformers.

Did I just say Transformers? Damn right I did. It was his last role before he died. What better way to bookend your career, from Citizen Kane to Unicron.

Finally, I’ve been watching some comedy roasts recently, all vulgar demonstrations of human depravity. Back in the old days, when people had class, roasts were done like this, a la Welles:

And here is Sinatra saluting Welles (how fucking cool is that?)

Laugh out loud at the Altera shorts into a prospective Intel bid. Into the bell, I ditched MD and started a position in GTN. I love both AMCX and GTN, pure plays on the golden era of television. GTN has exposure to all of the major networks, locked in for 5 years. With programming getting better and better, expect ad rates to rise and earnings to power ahead.

Next week the market is going to take off. I’d bet my entire face on it and would play Russian roulette with a fucking trebuchet to prove my vigor. “The Fly” is a man with many hats and multiple logs in the fire. You’d be unwise to bet against him.

Reminder: Be sure to tune in tomorrow, as I continue my Orson Welles greatness in cinema series. I’ll be wrapping him up soon, then moving onto Kubrick. Also, just to rehash what I said earlier, I am going to start beta trials for The PPT Exodus very soon. If you have an interest in taking it for a test drive, the world’s best market analysis software, email me [email protected]. Be sure to tell me if you are a current member, former member or prospective member.

I was up 0.74% for the day.

Have a cigar filled weekend.

They want you on food stamps eating hamburgers all day. Within 100 years, the Kingdom will own all of the world’s aircraft carriers and they will fly a crescent flag over the White House dome. Bankrupting the Bakken Shale is part of the plan. The greater plan is to directly bankrupt the nation by having us fight absurd wars in their backyard.

At the end of the day, oil is a dead trade. I wanted it to work and went long after the New Year’s. However, over the past month the price action has been abysmal. Right now, oil stocks make up less than 10% of my overall portfolio, with MUSA being my largest holding in the space. And that’s a pure gas station play, nothing to do with production.

The PPT is flagging YY as oversold with compelling backtesting results of 10 wins, zero losses, over 10 trading days for an average return of 7.25%–over the past 12 months. On that news, I dabbled on some shares and will masquerade about town dressed like an ancient chinaman, until I win on this trade.