GOT THEM BITCHEZ…AGAIN

“I cold smacked the teeth out them motherfuckas. They had no idea I was still around, lurking and creeping out this motherfucka.”

-Dr. Benjamin Bernanke, Corner Office, Citadel

Straight up, you people are clowns. And, yes, this shit I am about to show you just happened.

What happens when Exodus flags oversold on an Ultra-Dow ETF?

+250 points is what happens…motherfuckas.

But we stay the course, no matter the consequence (extra George Bush).

Just today I accused a friend of mine, who happens to be a female, to be a “woman-trader.” She took exception to this because I had mixed in gender with the action of trading and corrected me, saying “I am a trader.” I retorted, “on the contrary, you are, in fact, a female who enjoys the avocation of trading. Ergo, you are a woman trader.” She then said “well, what if I called you a male-trader?” To that, I QED the conversation and agreed that I was, in fact, a MAN-TRADER.

See the word “MAN”, unlike “woman”, is synonymous with courage, bravery and heinous war crimes. To be a MAN-TRADER is to be a bold, to coalesce around greatness. On the contrary, and pardon me for merely being the middle man in all of this ugliness, to be a “woman-trader” would denote something of a more cautious, or shall we say “WAGNERIAN”, persona about the old trading desk. A garrulous person whose vainglorious methods permit them to avoid margin calls and cataclysmic blow-ups, and also grandiose wins.

Do not attack me, effeminate readers of iBankCoin. I am an ardent supporter of your gender and would much rather spend my days talking about life with you, than punching the faces in of my own gender. I am merely pointing out the social injustices that are afflicted upon members of the female persuasion (No Bruce).

I lost 0.65% for the day, staggering into the bell, bloodied from the nose down. Late day rallies in HDP, VNDA, N and SBNY helped my cause and I could’ve faired a lot worse. However, when you own more than 30 stocks, like myself, it’s rather difficult to buck the trend, unless of course your largest position outperforms. In my case, CYBR is on a Mexican siesta.

Nevertheless, I am a MAN-TRADER and do not fear piker-sized losses. The nostrum to my problems will be to simply win back my money during tomorrow’s session. Simple enough.

See you fucked faces tomorrow.

I know some of you are beating off to the recent foray into red. You enjoy to see others lose money, because you’re hideous monsters with deformed faces and crooked spines. But, I will have you know, right at this very moment, an American Hero is watching over us Wall Street types. He’s like the Captain America of the stock market, always bidding when evil doers are selling.

This man is Dr. Benjamin Bernanke. He occupies a corner office at Citadel and is looking out for your best interest, even now, because that’s what heroes do.

The cynic in you doesn’t believe this. You feel he is simply wasting away, subsiding on roasted beef sandwiches and blunts filled with marijuana. But you’d be wrong. The good Doctor is going to get those bitches who sell us short. You wait and see.

In the meantime, I am being harangued by losses, chased down halls by serpents with forked tongues, off by 1.1% for the day. Banks and Netflix are doing well. I believe the time has come to be long SBNY in good size and simply sit back and wait for it to melt higher. Eat some yams if you’re comfortable in doing that. I am also looking at TCK: holy shit is that stock cheap. Or is it?

I have lots of ideas, clues and puzzles to wade through. I just wanted to reassure you that the market isn’t in any danger of collapsing. This is child’s play and will pass soon, like a Floridian thunder storm in the middle of fucking August.

Here I thought we’d get a continuation of the rally. Then I look at the Dow Jones and see that it’s down for the year and I think to myself “what rally?”

All of the old timers are getting their egg salads eaten for them this year. Biotech and hacker stocks have led the way, trailblazing a path of extreme hedonism for those with the courage to buy them.

It’s red ink across the board this morning. I am down 0.7% and the trend appears to be decidedly lower. I can very easily chalk this up to a “June Swoon”, hope to escape with my limbs intact and prepare for a resumption of the rally in July. Or maybe this is just the tip of the iced berg. Maybe, just maybe, the market has topped and we’re all destined to bankrupt ourselves amidst horribly executed trades and a complete absence of risk management.

Traditionally, utilities do well during June, a seasonally weak time for equities. Should I gather my chips, wipe the cocaine off my nose, and go back to my hotel room to watch infomercials? Or, should I stay up all night, binge gambling with reckless abandon in the hopes of crushing the casino?

This is just a quick nightly note for you savages out there. One thing to note is the amount of damage hackers are afflicted per incident. I believe the number is around $3.8 million now up from $3.5. Mind you, as the number increases in value, the SWOT analysis teams at your fortune 500 companies will “invest” more dollars into security.

This is the main catalyst for shares of PANW, CYBR, FEYE, BLOX and others. The needle is being pushed on the level of damage being afflicted to corporatiopns. In turn, the price of the stocks for security firms are exploding higher.

As per Exodus, here are some of the biggest winners year to date.

5 out of my top 6 positions were up, with N being an outlier down 1% for the session. I’ve detached from the rest of you fuckers, like a rocketship breaking off from its boosters. The rest of you will drift down with the gravitational pull and BURN THE FUCK UP upon reentry.

“The Fly” is heading towards the sun on a mission of glory.

The Dow Jones is now negative for the year and I am up 29%. Do I need to continue to explain the harmonious winship inherent in Exodus any longer or would you like me to demonstrate, yet again?

REMINDER: Take advantage of early bird pricing for the iBC Investors Conference.

I added to my SBNY position and RDWR. Do you know why I added to them? (wait for it)

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because I can.

Today’s market rout is worthy of a nice swan dive out the office window, is it not?

Oh, that’s right, my largest position is up for the day. Why don’t you sell all of your stocks and go hide under the blankets. It’s awfully dangerous out there in the market place.

This is the June Swoon. I was telling you this might happen, as liquidity dried up and the Lord’s of Finance would exercise their EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGES over bottles of viagra and completely forget about stocks. It’s an ugly, ugly day and it looks like it wants to get even uglier.

Yes, it’s true, 3 out of 4 of my largest holdings are up today and I am seemingly immune to the pangs of horror that afflict you. Social graces dictate that I should, in fact, remain stoically modest as our paths diverge. Nevertheless, I cannot help but to point out that the fork in the road you chose is heading straight for a wild jungle filled with human head beating apes.

As always, “The Fly” is charitable in his expertise and will permit you to GPS relocate yourselves back onto the path of win.

Top picks: CYBR, N, VNDA, ZFGN, HDP

Now that rates have gone up and the yield curve steepened, banks will begin to truly bank coin now. If economic activity gets into the 3-3.5% GDP range, you are going to see the mother of all bank stock rallies commence.

My favorites are super-regionals, like SBNY, BOFI and FRC. Bigger banks like BAC, C and WFC work too. Not only that, investment banks, brokerages and asset managers will trade higher, as stocks continue to make new highs.

I am long JNS, LAZ, MS, SBNY and would like to own ESNT, SF and WETF.

In short, the Lord has placed bankers on earth to help his fellow man. Lads like Lloyd Blankfein, clan leader of the Goldman Sachs tribe, should be revered as men of the cloth, charitable and kind. The true evil doers are the Occupy Wall Street mobs, men and women clad in stolen clothes, thieving their way through life, drunk and high from needles filled with heroin.

I believe the next leg of the market will be led by tech and finance. Don’t be surprised to learn of mergers as the yield curve steepens, jackass.

Good day.

There is nothing that I respect more than a fat guy eating a table filled with 10,000 calories of food. The guy is fat as fuck and knows it, doesn’t give a shit about it, and continues to eat until his ultimate demise. For mortals, persons such as yourself, you’re all subject to a Mortal Kombat fatality at some point in your lifetimes. Some of you will perish by fire, heart explosion, or via stomach explosion through ‘extreme gluttony.’

It’s the fat guy on a diet, a wrong diet, that makes me want to kill him. He doesn’t exercise or eat less. Instead, he attaches himself to oddball diets, like eating lard out of pigs heads or zero carbs, all bacon’d displays of idiocy.

Skinny people of the world know that the feel of being skinny surpasses any transitory flavor in your buttered potatoes. For thousands of years, skinny folks have ruled the world. We are agile and able to think clearly, without being distracted by donuts and mashed cheesed potatoes– with side orders of bananas and creamed puffs. It should come as no surprise to many of you to learn that obesity is not a problem amongst communities with money. For the most part, they are learned peoples, able to exhibit the basic principles of discretion and discipline over fried chicken wings, pizza, and mozzarella sticks.

Oh, by the way, Japanese GDP just came in at 3 point fucking 9 percent. Abenomics for the win. Dr. Benjamin Bernanke’s legacy continues to grow, as will the deepness of “The Fly’s” size 33 pants pockets tomorrow.