CLEANSE ME

You’re probably thinking “wow, that Fly dude must be really upset today”, seeing my top two positions, GPRO, YELP, get bludgeoned like this. However, you’d be wrong.

Everything happens in cycles and right now my cycle is on cleanse.

Dear Stock Gods,

Bring forth your fury with unabating vengeance. My methods by which I’ve achieved success are pure. Therefore, these trials by fire can only result in my eventual release from your grasp as an innocent man. Come hither and smoke a pipe, or maybe two, in my parlour, and I will show you who the true sinners are.

Amen.

That was my prayer just ten minutes ago. I am confident that my voice will be heard, as I am a messenger of the Gods.

Moving along, GPRO isn’t supposed to run up in a straight line, no stock is. Plenty of high beta names too to the bottle today. However, with a little time and patience, I believe we can achieve the century mark for GPRO. With regard to YELP, I said I’d buy it under $54 yesterday. I might just do that a little sooner than later.

I lost 1.7% today, without the help of being long JNUG. Remember kids, gold is a sandbox of retards.

I just heard a staggering statistic. The average price for a roach infested apartment in NYC is now $1.6 million, up 17% year over year. I don’t have numbers available to me, but real estate in Brooklyn is equally insane, with Brownstones selling for north of $3 million when they were literally $200k 15 years ago. All of the bastard hipsters want to live in Brooklyn. It’s so funny, seeing the gentrification of certain neighborhoods in Brooklyn. These same neighborhoods were death traps when I was a teenager, places where you’d go to get robbed and killed, tossed onto the tracks into an oncoming train. It’s amazing how ‘safe’ NYC has become over the past 20 years.

I know some of you hillbillies from flyover country doubt me (quit rolling your fucking eyes). But my fellow New Yorkers can attest to the fact that crime is a fraction of what is was back in the 90s. The net result of peace and prosperity has led to a monumental increase in NYC real estate prices, a true model for the savage ham and eggers cutting each others clavicles in the middled east.

That’s all we really need, don’t we? Give man an opportunity to thrive and he will do it, in both science and technology. We are living in memorable times and most of you take it for granted. Discard the notion that gold bars mean something to you. One thousand years hence, the history books will reflect back on the times we are living now and discuss the nascency of the internet–a time when singularity became reality. Man and machine coupled for the betterment of mankind. Information disseminated rapidly, shared globally, ushering in a new era of enlightenment.

You little trollops look at this blog post with a skeptical eye, thinking the world is over and society is nothing more than a helter skelter of bedraggled microbes. Believe you me, no one fights the negative wave of pessimism more than me. But you are wrong. These are incredible times and there will be fortunes to be made, from the modern day Vanderbilt empire called Uber to the Amazon hegemony, times are changing.

Now are you still looking to buy those fucking gold bricks, you cave man?

I don’t even like beards, yet I am growing one. I’ve surrounded myself with a lexicon of ideas, a rich history of winship, and an infallible track record of merciless victories. On this day, I announce to you, the pleb, that I, “The Fly”, grow a beard on my face for the benefit of my people inside of the stocked market. I do this, selflessly and without shame, so that you might profit.

Just know, I consider facial hair to be a reprehensible offense against civilized man. The fact that I’ve housed my razor blades in the cupboard to collect dust, instead of shaving cream, speaks volumes to the true nature of my very black heart.

My competitors prance about the internet, and on Twitter, clad in cheap regalia–a cacophony of offensive instruments meshed into a singular curse. These fish salesmen, these caitiffs, do not deserve an audience of your stature and distinguished sensibilities. Cast them back into the pits of hell they’ve derived from and actively seek out and expose others who aspire to fill their scandalous, treacherous stations.

Their foreboding commentary regarding the stock market shall be met with blows to their eyebrows and chest hairs–leaving garish scars as a testament to their sins.

HERETO, a great man of impeccable eminence has offered a facial sacrifice, which will undoubtedly lead to a concatenation of events that will leave you all for the better.

These words have been written on November the 18th, 7:29 est.

Amen.

The funny thing about some of you miscreants chanting about PE ratios is that you own gold miners too, who are bleeding out losses. I understand your desire for high growth stocks to have PEs less than 20. However, in the real world, that is a rare occasion because high growth is bought up. If you are lucky enough to buy high growth/quality at a discount, don’t be afraid to buy it. Otherwise, quit littering these fucking halls with your stupid warnings of hell to pay because you just finished reading Graham and Dodd and you think those rules should be applied to social media stocks who are literally changing the way human beings interact with one another. I don’t think Mr. Graham would approve of your perversion of fundamental analysis.

I bought YELP today, in decent size, knowing it might trade down. I reserved some cash from my TRN sale to average down in YELP. My next purchase will be below $54.

But know this: winners will always be bought and profitable to its investors. It’s only a matter of time before YELP goes full GPRO on the savages who short it.

Today’s melt up was brought to you by cheaper oil.

I bulked up on my YELP position. Significant add.

I sold out of TRN for a 5.5% loss. It was my second largest position. I am no longer interested in playing the oil reflation trade.

Forget about chasing oil stocks down the drain. We have bigger fish to fry. Several weeks ago I informed you of a friend of mine who owns gas stations. I told you that higher volume means greater sales, especially at the gas station store. Last night Cramer touched on this exact point. Before ever asshole with a series 7 figures this out, get some exposure via one of the following names: PTRY, CASY, COST or IMKTA.

Next up retail. When gas prices go down, SUV sales go up. I am not making this up; it’s simply a fact. HAR happens to make some pretty high quality audio systems for Mercedes, BMW and other premium car makers. The stock is going higher.

Whole Foods is back on track. With Thanksgiving around the corner, commodity prices in the shitter, WFM will trade higher.

VFC owns a variety of brands that you own and love, from Nautica to North Face to Jansport to Vans to Timberland, they benefit from a richer consumer. VFC trades higher.

Do I need to tell you my feelings on GPRO? It trades higher.

The last name on my list is one that should be owned heading into the New Year. Chicken prices are down and people are drunken fools. BWLD is going higher.

I have several other high quality names that will benefit from cheaper gas. However, you’re not ready for them. For now, this will suffice.

If GPRO can hold its gains this morning, it is setting up for a monster squeeze higher. Bear in mind, the “news” last night of an expanded secondary offering is childish horseshit and is not a reason to sell. There is plenty of demand for GPRO’s shares and I will gladly buy them from some jackass IT guy in the camera lens department, who is hoping to sell enough stock to buy himself a wife from Russia.

Let the idiots sell. Smarter money will prevail.

The stock is up in the pre-market, erasing a $2.5 deficit from last night’s frenzied sell off.

Listen to me, GPRO is at the very top of technically strong stocks in the market now. There are very few companies with holiday shopping catalysts, like GPRO. This is last year’s KORS, the GRMN from a decade ago.

Long and strong, hoping to smash a few road slobs about the head today with my battle ax.

Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers bounced along the bottom before finding their watery graves. Let’s be perfectly clear about one singular thing: the miners are for suckers, people obsessed with the dissolution of the Federal Reserve and western finance. You people, all of you people, are scandalous vagrants, thieves in the night hell bent on the pain and misery of others. A great shame falls upon your house and it shall cast a shadow that will last for generations to come.

There is no long trade for gold miners, mind you. There are only short set ups. If you’d only remove yourselves from the slothness of your charts, you’d learn that the miners are all losing a shit load of money searching for yellow metal that is decreasing in value on a daily basis. The net asset values for scores of junior miners are exactly zero.

Sure, you might fancy yourselves to be smart day traders, running along the side of the road, avoiding the oncoming traffic. But you can only play this game for so long, as King Dollars reign supreme and the gold trade is effectively over.

In closing, I am reminded of a trade a very good friend of mine took on a Friday afternoon, heading into the weekend. He bought himself 5,000 shares of BSC at around $30, hoping for a few Monday shekels, only to find himself horrendously stupefied by the reality of his error.

This isn’t exactly stratagem, friendo– but facts.

Remember when you were young and would stay up real late at night to read one of your favorite horror themed books? Neither do I. But if I did, I am sure it would resemble today.

My top two positions were up, but just about everything else down. Chinese burrito stocks bore the brunt of a mean spirited attack upon its greedy shareholders. Men, clad in nothing but burlap undergarments, sold short anything not nailed to the floor and punished the world for breathing air into their lungs. Santa Claus deniers and Turkey God slayers ran rampant throughout the streets of Wall today. Our only respite was the cessation of violence through the closing of trade.

I lost 0.4% today, in what should’ve been a victory. Everyone is going to tell you to sell now. Prepare to climb another wall of worry, in order to achieve paradise.