I don’t even like beards, yet I am growing one. I’ve surrounded myself with a lexicon of ideas, a rich history of winship, and an infallible track record of merciless victories. On this day, I announce to you, the pleb, that I, “The Fly”, grow a beard on my face for the benefit of my people inside of the stocked market. I do this, selflessly and without shame, so that you might profit.
Just know, I consider facial hair to be a reprehensible offense against civilized man. The fact that I’ve housed my razor blades in the cupboard to collect dust, instead of shaving cream, speaks volumes to the true nature of my very black heart.
My competitors prance about the internet, and on Twitter, clad in cheap regalia–a cacophony of offensive instruments meshed into a singular curse. These fish salesmen, these caitiffs, do not deserve an audience of your stature and distinguished sensibilities. Cast them back into the pits of hell they’ve derived from and actively seek out and expose others who aspire to fill their scandalous, treacherous stations.
Their foreboding commentary regarding the stock market shall be met with blows to their eyebrows and chest hairs–leaving garish scars as a testament to their sins.
HERETO, a great man of impeccable eminence has offered a facial sacrifice, which will undoubtedly lead to a concatenation of events that will leave you all for the better.
These words have been written on November the 18th, 7:29 est.
Amen.
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FIG
Commodore, is this a virtual beard, or the real deal? The last time didn’t go so well…
A real beard.
Grow one of these, Herr Fly.
http://figu.org/shop/sites/default/files/buch/standpunkte_zur_person_von_BEAM_vs.jpg
juice – Pretty sure he’s going to look like this: http://www.historyinanhour.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Grigori-Rasputin.jpg
that would be a neat magic trick – reversing the ageing process!
With a great beard comes great responsibility. May your beard grow large enough to destroy your enemies and anyone who buys gold and sells short stocks.
Makes sense. All the gods I’ve ever seen have had beards. Thank you for your sacrifice.
the fly is an english teacher (secretly)
gharish
The Fly with beard, and long hair (extra Howard Hughes?).
I literally understood about 75% of what he just said… Lol
I’m going to grab a dictionary to reference half this blog post. …lol
If you have never grown a beard for more than 6 weeks, you will give up and shave. so as to escape the itch and constant hand stroking that comes with being a cave man.
i last shaved 10/31
no shave november, sir.
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… I am fearful of the future revelation that “Fly” is living a reclusive lifestyle in an obscure Hotel Suite … with shocking personal hygiene issues …
… endlessly watching Ice Station Zebra !!!
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… and whispering “GoPro !!!
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Joking !!!
Save the snide retorts !!!
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i hate to interrupt the “bearded” conversation but: EBOLA ALERT!!! HOW MANY NASDAQS DO WE FALL?
http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2014-11-18/brooklyn-woman-ebola-monitoring-list-drops-dead-bleeding-face-mouth-nose
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3 American Rabbis were hacked to death with axes by a couple of psychopaths today in Jerusalem and the “Market” didn’t miss a beat …
So …
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GO BACK TO SLEEP AMERICA !!!
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So what else is new? psychopaths in the middle east….. Who knew?
Now the fakestinians are celebrating the murders of the three American Rabbis & handing out candy in Israel. Just as they celebrated after 9/11…
Icahn’s beard game was weak.
Beard is great if you are a skier. Keeps your face warm. The icicles hanging off there are cool too.
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On the lighter side …
80 year old convicted mass murderer now has a wedding license … and is about to marry a 26 year old woman … who goes by the name of … wait for it … “Star” !!!
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ONLY IN AMERICA !!!
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… and that 80 year old mass murderer is ?
Charles Manson !!!
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HELTER SKELTER !!!
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can someone explain to me why alf has to use a period and empty line to open and close whatever comment he attempts to make?
Beards are for retards and spoiled children that want to look cool. Grow up.