THE TURKEY GODS ARE HERE

It’s too late to run away. If you are short the market, there is a better than average chance that you will soon be devoured whole by the Turkey Gods. No one in their right mind sells the market short ahead of National Feast. So in a way, your demise is a convenient exercise in Darwinism, weeding out the chaff from the wheat (extra Bible).

Listen here lads: you are living through the best bull market the world has ever seen. That’s right: you, my friend, are an imbecile of the first order for missing out on it. Now, let’s not get carried away and start calling each other names. I only meant to scold you so that you wouldn’t get scalded later.

Alas,’tis been a hard year for ordinary speculators, such as ourselves. The tape has been wrought with danger and cataclysmic downside action. If you weren’t careful about the shares you’ve invested in, you could’ve easily Bill Cosby’d yourself into an untenable position. Luckily for us, there is the community called iBankCoin. Which reminds me, go pick up your WSS report this week, penned by Raul. Unlike the other services, you can simply buy this a la carte.

Where was I? Ah, yes, the importance of community and how it might help you become a better investor.

For one, you can quit haranguing me about the virtues of selling short this market and get to buying something, anything God damn it. Next, when you’re ready to step your game up, join OA, RC, me and hundreds of serious traders inside 12631. Yes, I am plugging our services. Why wouldn’t I?

In summary, the Turkey Gods are here and they are going to peck away at your skulls and eat your brains, douse your body with gravy (no homo) and roast you until your eyes pop out.

Have a good trading day.

Bored of the usual suspects, I went out hunting for new names, preferably of the small capped genre. When buying small cap, beta is expected to be high, as their business models move rapidly with the economic winds. I came across a little company, whose stock price has outperformed, thanks to 20%+ revenue growth and eps expansion.

The company has over $85 million in cash, with a market cap of just 550 million.

They’re positioned to compete with the likes of Sonos, for high fidelity audio solutions, via their Play-fi platform. They’ve signed up speaker makers Polk and some other bozo company, and are actively seeking new partners. On the blu-ray side, they have all the video game makers signed up and have enjoyed respectable 10%+ revenue growth thanks to the burgeoning success of the PS4. Very soon, their Headphone X technology will be unleashed on the public, offering “full surround” sound, which can be licensed out to any headphone maker. Currently, Turtle Beach licenses it, ticker HEAR.

Anecdotally speaking, I am always annoyed when I pair my iPhone with my wireless speaker–because I am only permitted to pair one at a time. Part of the lure with Sonos is that you can pair multiple speakers all at once and play your favorite Rick Ross tunes in multiple places, all at once. The same can be done with Play-fi.

But that’s not the reason why you want to own the stock.

Right now they have all of the major television manufacturers signed up, licensing their audio technology. But, as you know, teevee sales have bee sluggish. That is about to change, son, with the advent of the 4k teevee. Very soon, people will be knifing one another to get a brand new 4k television, so that they could merrily watch their fools-ball game with their drunkard friends. When that happens, growth will explode and this little company I am giving to you will undergo a mini renaissance amongst momentum investors.

As you read this, only 1 teevee maker, LG, has licensed their audio technology for 4k televisions. However, given that all HD teevee makers license from them now, it’s fair to assume they will be signing up more shortly.

Most of the catalysts for the company will happen in the 2nd half of 2015. They are also tethered to unit sales this holiday season for their Play-fi partners and will likely use their available cash for further stock buybacks.

The ticker symbol is DTSI.

Today was supposed to be a celebration, an affirmation that everything was okay. Instead, we got this milquetoast drab, this transvestite of a woman — a fraud. I didn’t sell anything and I am up almost 1% for the session. However, judging by the trend, my gains will soon drift away into the ether of perfidy, a scandalous way to star the weekend, indeud.

Nonetheless, next week belongs to the domain of the Turkey Gods. Feel free to throw all of the sell orders you can muster. But it will do you no good. The Turkey Gods have resolved to move this market higher, and feast upon the buzzards of nature.

“What’s for dinner, honey?”

“Buzzard.”

Finally, I am elated to see HABT get smashed to pieces today. I was up a quick 6 on a very small position. I intend to add to the position, little by little, each month for the next twelve months. Moreover, I intend to take a road trip out to their single east coast locale this weekend, to do a little taste testing, all for the sake of investing, of course.

Ciao.

In light of my urinal shadows suggesting “a very strong buy” on BALT, I added to my position. I intend to hold this through December.

I own BID in my retirement accounts and for my kids, as well for clients. It’s one of those stocks that I will never sell, due to my belief that the upper 1% amongst us will always throw money into collectibles. I also realize that art is in a giant fucking bubble, with paintings selling for $200 million at a clip. Nevertheless, I think BID has significant upside here.

Last night the CEO resigned. This is a big deal because Dan Loeb from Third Point has been haranguing the company for a sale. Much to his chagrin, the former CEO told him to fuck off and to go feed his gay giraffes. But with him gone now, I suspect all of the asshole hedge fund managers that you love to hate will put BID in play again.

Why?

It’s the same reason why Bill Ack Ack Ackman bought a $90 million apartment in NYC to just sit on it. Rich people love Sotheby’s and Christie’s auctions. To own the premier auction house in the world is the ultimate status symbol. It basically sinks your 550 ft yacht and shits on your mega-mansion in the Hamptons.

Aside from that, I like the market here, especially the shippers. Other stocks worth note are copper and steel, both surging thanks to China.

Actionable ideas here include BALT, AKS, CMI, LITB and BTU.

I woke up to boolish comments by Draghi. I saw European indexes were flying off the handle, then China surprised everyone with a 40 bps cut. Now, I don’t want to count the chickens before they’re hatched or put the carriage in front of the horse. However, according to my stock market playbook, this is outrageously bullish news for stocks and should, might I add, usher in a new era of heinous executions inside of the bearish ghettos of StockTwits.

The trade is simple: buy commodities (copper, oil), shippers and BABA. You laugh now; but this is the sort of action that changes everything. If China is hellbent on reflation, God damn it, reflation they will have.

Quite frankly, I find there to be a certain romantic notion to this here rate cut, ahead do America’s national feast. Very shortly, we will be devouring large birds and yams, tossing biscuits around the dinner table, all the while our Chinese friends from the orient do the heavy lifting for us.

Like I said earlier, I don’t want to pop the champagne corks into your face just yet. I will reserve that for the closing bell. Nonetheless, it’s worth noting the stalwart action in Europe, coupled with our gap up in futures. Unless we are bedeviled by some ‘sell the news’ chicanery, you are in for a real treat today.

My book is diverse, even though I mainly talk about a handful of stocks. I own upwards of 35 stocks and should track the NASDAQ well today, unless of course GPRO drops another 7.

In summary, I believe the Dry Bulk shippers will repeat what they did in December of 2013, which is melt the fuck higher. I am bearish, mind you, on gold–because it is stupid. And I believe copper and oil will find buyers here. In the oil patch (such a stupid fucking phrase), I am long SLCA, DVN, COP and CHK.

***The People’s Bank of China said it was cutting one-year benchmark lending rates by 40 basis points to 5.6 percent. It lowered one-year benchmark deposit rates by less – just 25 basis points. The changes take effect from Saturday.***

S&P futures are 16 points above fair value. Our Chinese overlords have decided to reflate themselves. Ergo, prepare to be reflated.

Sinners will be held accounted for today.

See you soon!

When GPRO hit $85 yesterday, it was all but assured that it’d keep heading higher, amidst the fanfare of being the hottest product this holiday season. People were tripping over themselves to get long. Then the market closed and the company priced a secondary 4 points below the market, revealing a weak hand to the scoundrels on Wall Street. The retail heavy clientele got locked into a doomed deal and those very same people sold with reckless abandon today.

Now no one is talking about GPRO heading higher anymore. The lies and the fear mongering that was purported by short sellers must be true. We must sell because of an avalanche of new shares heading to market. No one wants GPRO cameras anymore.

It’s funny isn’t it? But this is what makes the stock market great. Sure, I lost a small fortune from yesterday until today; but the lesson is priceless. I am a student of this market and have read the tales of Jay Gould, James Fisk, Commodore Vanderbilt, Uncle Drew, Henry Clews and others, and know that what we see here on a daily basis is just noise–utter nonsense. Stocks will fluctuate based upon the caprices of man. You can go broke trying. Plenty of great men, legendary traders, have died penniless.

But why?

Every once in awhile we let our guards down and believe we are Hercules, god amongst men–indestructible. Then that moment comes, the time when that perfect trades eludes us and drags us down into the dungeons of hell to exact punishment. Such an occasion has not befallen me on this day (down 0.5% for the session), despite GPRO being down a cool 7. But it’s this entire year of hand-wringing exercise, dodging bullet after bullet, that has exhausted me into a capitulatory demeanor.

It’s probably the reason why I didn’t sell GPRO when it was at $85, marked by The PPT as overbought–when it was destined to trade higher.

At least I made a solid $5 on that hamburger stock today.

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I started a small position in HABT, sub $34. The newly minted burger chain IPO has enjoyed 40-50% growth in recent years and fits perfectly in my “fuck Mcdonald’s investment philosophy, where people actually pay for quality food over cheap synthetic crap.

I will be adding to this names for months to come.

So I wake up to GPRO down more than $5, below its secondary pricing of $75. For an investment banker, this is a worst case scenario. However, the deal is already paid for and accounts have been debited. But you don’t want to screw over retail too badly, otherwise they won’t buy your next deal.

Then I head on over to the ever-so-trustworthy StockTwits, using my iPhone app. There I find the stream to be dominated by bearish fellows, chastising others for being long ‘such a stupid stock’ etc, etc, etc. The overall picture is a cabal obsessed with lower prices. Most of these fellows don’t know why they want lower prices– they just want them.

The truth is, their displeasure with life has led them to a fork in the road. They can either cave in and eat gallons of iced cream and gain 500 pounds. Or, they can go to the StockTwits website and talk shit about ‘stupid stocks.’

Shortly after I finished cobbling through the commentary on the StockTwits app, I moseyed on over to Briefing.com, a website dedicated to news and information. Top notch service, if you’re interested in that sort of thing. I read that BBY reported a blow out quarter and the stock surged. Now I know, being a long investor in that ‘stupid company’ called Gopro, that BBY makes up more than 25% of their revenues. Because of the great demand for GPRO’s products, they’ve recently cleared significant shelf space in order to accommodate consumers who are interested in buying their products.

So what is the bottom line, after all?

Well, GPRO is pricing a large secondary in the hole. The dynamics of the supply versus demand aspect, coupled with a bad tape, has led to a poor pricing environment. Unlike FEYE and other bubble stocks that popped, GPRO is still growing very rapidly and exceeding estimates. The stock isn’t trading 20x sales, like your run of the mill bubble stocks, but instead 8x. Fundamentals appear to be gaining momentum, heading into what might be the best holiday shopping season in over a decade, save the city of Buffalo who has been wiped clean off the map.

If my crystal ball had not been in the shoppe, I might’ve sold GPRO at $85 yesterday. However, as fate would have it, I am still in the stock. Silly ole me.

You know, there’s a fantastic iced cream shoppe down the block. You really should give it a try sometime.