Fly Buy: $PS

Try to stop me. I’ll break your hands off from your arms.

Looking for $30 — living the dream.

Had a good hot dog and firecracker day? Good. Now it’s time to get back to work.

Over a Micron, there were concerns that China was fixing to slap some tariffs on their chips. Stifel is out with a note this morning, reminding us that China’s main intention is not trade war, but theft.

Micron: China’s Tit for Tat Strategy for Building a Semiconductor Industry – Stifel (51.48)
Stifel reiterates MU with a Buy, keeps PT of 108. In the firm’s view, China’s goal may not be to block shipments of Micron’s much needed DRAM but instead part of a strategy to push Micron toward partnering with China semiconductor foundries. This could expedite China’s internal semiconductor industry development. The firm sees this as a process that could take many years. The firm understands investors’ reaction to sell MU on this announcement but this may prove to be a buying opportunity

Who gives a shit anyway? Pffff — it’s all fun and games until the other country starts to get nationalistic and then uses our own technology against us. I’ve got to admit, truth be told, I really don’t care. As far as I’m concerned, billion dollar corporations need to fight it out. Whatever Trump is doing now will be repealed as soon as a new President gets elected — because that’s how retarded our foreign policy is — fleeting and whimsical.

Dow futs +171, Nasdaq +51 — prepare to make some money.

What else do I have to do, other than self promotion this morning? Should I talk about my fucking coyote and how she wastes my time with her meaningless 7am walks of doing absolutely nothing other than chasing squirrels and people on bikes? No, that’s boring.

Should I talk about stock futures +60 and how we REKT England several hundred years ago? No interest.

What about George Washington and his fucking cherried tree? I bet he cut it down and was a supreme asshole. Also, why did he sleep in so many places and why are these establishments still standing?

Fuck all of that. Today we do not celebrate the birth of America — but the advent of hot dogs, hipster sausages made with fennel and organic blueberries, beer, and explosives. You might choose to drink some off-brand swill or some hipster chocolate IPA, made from oatmeal, and that’s fine. That’s your version of America and you’re entitled to it.

My version of America is tossing jumping jacks into an iced cream truck when I was 10, just to watch the iced cream man dance around and yell at me — and then later on throwing small sticks of dynamite down sewer caps to smoke out the waterbugs — so that me and my friends could step on them.

Today I’ll cook some sausages and inebriate myself with some beer. I haven’t decided which brand I’ll buy. Part of me says “go get that FagLORD Chimay or something really good; make sure it’s rated “100” by the experts. And then another part of me says “go get a 40 ounce of malt liquor and then after you drink it all — light the bottled rockets and fire them off from the empty bottle.”

Truth is, I can’t do any of that shit — as I am an upstanding member of my community, and extreme gentlemen of magnificent proportions. I’ll simply cook a whole chicken and sip, ever so quietly, on cocktails — perhaps dirty martinis, in honor of FDR. Later on, before retiring to bed, I’ll lay fire to a series of fired crackers and share my Chinese fireworks with the neighbors — who will all be very appreciative with their golf claps and genteel nods.

In the meantime, you can take the extra time off to immerse yourselves in the winship inherent with Exodus — free trials for 7 days. Just drop an email and voila — you’re in. Once in, you’ll receive a series of educational emails about the platform and how amazing it is — and how it’ll put 2 inches on your cock and enable you to drink 30 martinis in one sitting, whilst firing off fucking mortar shells into the living rooms of your neighbors.

I spent about 1.5 hours last night doing one about our valuation tools. Here are a few annotated pictures for your 4th of July festivities.

Pardon the grammatical ‘faux pas’, I was under the influence of a large hamburger and frenched fries at the moment.

At ant rate, time for me to head out now. I’m dropping both dogs off at the barbershop so they can get their coats of fur shaved off. I’m sure they’ll both enjoy that surprise shortly after a nice ride in my automobile.

Today’s leaders are the Utes. You might as well go kill yourselves and spare yourselves from the boringness that awaits you this afternoon, ahead of bottle rocket day.

Interesting analysis on tech, the biggest underperforms are tech stocks between market caps of $50 to $100 billion. A slew of former high fliers are weak, but not weak enough to warrant attention.

Over in the oil pits, drillFAGS are still managing to lose money with oil at $75. Fucking retards.

The mall is dead, yet retail stocks are doing good this year. Go figure.

All in all, markets are flat for the year and no one knows why. Earnings are strong, growth solid, Trump is making America great again, status quo remains supreme. Whatever.

Bottom line: markets move on earnings. The tech sector is undervalued because it’s growing so fast and the FPEs need to catch up to their historical medians. I’ll touch on this a little during my July 4th Pro-Tip in my Exodus emails.

In short, go for a walk. Make yourself a panini with a little ham and mustard. Quit putting mayo on bread; it’s disgusting.

Not impressed by opening tick. Major sell off in tech heavy Nasdaq stocks and anything growing faster than 10% in revenues.

On the other hand, old man stocks are working. I have a small, burgeoning, portfolio of them, including PG, HSY, and GIS. I just added to that trio this morning, buying up shares of BUD — because white trash and 4th of July.

I know they’re owned by Ambev now and Bud isn’t even ‘Merica — but the fucking chart looks good.

I’m going to take a nap now — wake me up if something exciting happens.

I just ate a giant bowl of cherries. I felt gluttonous afterwards, so I ate a box of plain greek yogurt and it was disgusting and I felt better afterwards. Now I’m drinking some hot coffee and it’s a bit too hot, even after the milk I applied to it — so I’m testing it every now and then and it’s pissing me the fuck off because it’s burning my mouth.

Before I ate the giant bowl of cherries, I walked my coyote and she did nothing but lead me down ruinous paths, attempting to eat shit off the ground.

Now I’m here, typing away like a madman — with just two index fingers hammering away into a fucking laptop — pissed off just for the sake of being pissed off. I think I’m happier when I’m angry — it gives me something to do.

Futures are +135 and I fully expect oil to head lower, any fucking day now. I know there’s one of you absolute fagLORDS, salty AF, in the comments section who always congratulates himself for nailing the oil trade and he gets mad because I didn’t “play it right.” Fuck that guy, and anyone else who bothers me whilst I’m conducting high level experiments in finance.

I’m sending out an Exodus pro-tip tomorrow. I’ve been doing this about once per week and subscribers really like them — because it describes the platform in ways they never knew existed — and because I am a master communicator. This week I will discuss how to use the software to begin financial modeling and to draw useful macro data for the overall market and also explain why I have custom indexes there and how they’re useful.

Ok, I’m gonna end this meaningless post now to get a better look at the market.

Talk later.

This morning people were jumping out of their windows, bedraggled and defeated by the losses, a Trumpian hazard betwixt by trade wars and racist immigration policies. This afternoon, after shoveling up those left on the pavement, Trump is an American hero again, saving us from barbarian hordes of communist revolutionaries, dealing with very evil and unfair trade practices by our enemies in Europe.

Now that we’ve had some time to mull it over, I think it’s fairly obvious that I made the right moves this morning, culling the weak and gravitating towards the strong. There’s never a reason to accompany oneself with weakness. Success is a byproduct of the smart decisions made during times of duress. I’ll have you know, “The Fly’s” quant purchases were made at the lows of the session, a full 90bps below closing values.

In short, I sold UXIN, DOCU, and AERI in my trading account and bought ZS — and that worked out just fine. Aside from the ball-crunching I endured in DOMO, I made coin in most of my primary positions this afternoon and look forward towards a continuation of this trend, and more, tomorrow.

Top picks: HUBS, ZEN, CBLK, ZUO, ZS

I was in cash for a few hours, and then the market rallied, so I bought ZS. My thought process is simple, a mockery of the thinking man. I wanted out, so now I’m back in. In my head, I’ve already gone to cash, so by buying after doing so, I am conducting a Costanza trade — doing the exact opposite. Ergo, I cannot lose — since my losing streak was at 3 and all of the haters are back and strong in the comments and on Twitter.

This singular stock will serve as a missile, aiming directly for their giant faggot faces — blowing them out of the water.

You will see. Markets want higher. President Trump won the trade wars again. I cannot lose.

Long ZS.

Developing…

Oh, BTW, get yourselves some HUBS while you’re at it.

Today’s opening tick pushed several of my stocks below the threshold from which I can no longer bear witness and do nothing. I sold AERI, UXIN, and DOCU — all for losses. In the case of UXIN, a horrendous loss of 15% — stacking up my recent trading prowess to nothing short of garbage can tier.

Additionally, I made a slew of changes to the Quant fund, but more or less, many of the constituents remains the same. I’m not done buying, and will complete the fund by the end of day.

Back to the subject of my horrible positions: they’re mostly higher today, after I sold the losers. It’s always nice seeing that, like a fake diamond ring set in a lovely platinum ring. The only other stock in my ownership sharply lower today is DOMO — but I’m holding it because it’s back to where I bought it. I merely squandered that trade, not something to lament until I sell it at a loss.

Markets don’t look half bad; but don’t take my word for it — have a look at the internals.

Well, I ought to be going now. I’m working on a new streak, one filled exclusively with losses. My cash position is healthy, but my brain isn’t cock-strong yet, so I’ll probably parlay until I get my mojo back. This is standard operating procedure for me, having gone from the hottest trader in the history of the world, to one unable to trade PG and HSY right. ‘Tis is my curse, the fate of an extreme artist who moves with passion and inspiration — checked only by his own hubris and bouts of stupidity diving headlong into giant pools filled with nothing other than cement blocks.

I woke up to the coyote snapping her teeth in my face and then futures down 150. When I was a young boy growing up in the sewers of Brooklyn, I always dreamed of an adult life exactly like this — picking up steaming piles of shit whilst futures for my stock holdings tanked. I remember vividly a time when I felt dogs were a scourge on the planet, now I own two.

I also remember a time when stocks were good. Heck, when I traded 34 for 35 stocks in a row successfully in June, I felt rather invincible — strong and ram-headed — living life like a fucking lamb with its head out of the window — zero fucks or cares — shitting on your front lawn. All of that hubris has changed, and I can’t say that I am surprised by this morning’s headlines — for we all knew Trump was going to ‘rattle some cages’ and fuck with everyone.

This morning’s headlines:

Worldwide retaliation for US tariffs kicked in on Sunday, putting a ‘bull’s-eye’ on wide range of goods
The Trump administration reportedly drafted a bill that abandons WTO rulebook
EU reportedly warns of new tariffs worth $300 billion if Trump targets automakers

It’s time to stop out of stocks and head to the fucking beach, before things get really ugly and you’re a loser again with an account balance at zero.

On the quant side, I’ll abide by the rules and invest the money regardless of my feelings. It’s a long term oriented account, not beholden to weak and fat feelings driven by hunches.

European markets are off by 0.8% and our glorious Nasdaq is heading down 45 at the open.

Oh, and TSLA is busting loose by 6% on better than expected production numbers. It’s so funny to watch Musk bowl on you ass-clowns attempting to doubt his Einstein. He’s smarter than you — you cannot win. Same rules apply to me — smarter — you can never win.