YOU CAN’T FUCKING STOP ME; BOUGHT $IQ

HUYA is up nearly 20% and some traderFAG in Exodus was talking about it all day. Stupid Fryguy talked me out of it and I’m not gonna let him do the same with IQ.

I stepped in here like a fucking man, half gorilla, and bought IQ. I’m playing the morning surge, the uncontrollable, unassailable, gap higher that will not be denied.

Try to stop me and I’ll break all of your fingers off from your small child like hands.

It’s time to show those oil men who’s boss. This isn’t the Victorian era and America is better than disgusting fossil fuels. “The Fly” is exerting leadership here by way of a “sun-run” — long solar panels into what can only be described as a ‘very hot summer.’

The chart is beautiful. Look at it. Nothing can stop it.

Added bonus in being long a stock with a ticker dubbed “RUN” is virtually endless. We will have great times in this stock — as oil presses higher and the environmentally friendly Trump admin pursues a green and clean energy agenda.

NOTE: I also sold $ZS today for a 6% win.

Today’s moves included: sold BUD, PS, ZS, IIIV

Bought RIG, TUSK, RUN

The past 5 times I became an oil man, oil collapsed. I stepped in an added to my burgeoning portfolio of oil stocks and bought some RIG. I was hoping they’d start deep water drilling again, killing sea creatures and destroying the beaches of Louisiana in order to extract some beautiful black gold.

Up in Alaska, where you can see Russia, ‘drill baby drill’ is the state slogan. We can only hope and pray that California changes their fag minds on deep water drilling. Who’d love to see some oil derricks pop up in Santa Barbara again?

You know this guy does.

My thesis on RIG is simple. The chart looks wonderful, and the moving averages are all in the right spots, plus our good friends in Saudi Arabia need more money in order to fight terrorism. It’s a win-win for all parties involved.

Who’s with me?!

I have no idea what I’m doing in the oil pits. On Friday I bought WTI and that stock is flying today. Sometimes luck works better than actual skill.

Here I go again, cold at it. I stepped in and bought some TUSK — not because I know what I’m doing, but because my balls are really big.

Industrials and Banks are strong, most of tech is weak. Oils are going higher, but I don’t feel like chasing. The Dow 30 is being dragged higher by its short hairs, but the weakness is just underneath the surface.

Perhaps this is a rotation and we are to deal with it — become indexFAGS and buy MMM — waste our lives away. Maybe tech is finished and all of the high growth stuff is now a waste of time.

OR, this tape sucks and we’re on the verge of spilling over and canceling the rally.

I’m still bullish and one day isn’t gonna stop me. But I think I’ll leave the BUD sale in cash for now. I have a few errands to run an for the love of God I hope the tape improves by the time I get back. Frankly speaking, a market without small cap participation isn’t a market one can trust.

I sold out of my BUD position for a 3% gain. It was a placeholder for me, an old man stock that was supposed to do well while everything else turned to shit. More or less, it served its purpose.

Now I’m looking for something substantial, something with meat on its bones.

The Chinese sector is hot today, but there are a lot of sellers just above the present level. I’d be reticent to buy new China-com positions here. As always, when I find out what I’m buying, Exodus gets picks first, then you freeloaders.

Starbucks said they’re going to eliminate the use of plastic straws by 2020 — in order to become environmentally friendly and all. I get it. But why can’t they make straws out of wood? How do they expect small children and adult women to drink their whipped cream topped beverages? The more you look at the lunacy taking place inside SBUX, coupled with the stiff competition from local baristas, the more one could envision a stark future for this idiot company.

Nasdaq futures are +40 and I am going to buy some stocks this morning. I’m not certain what those stocks might be — but I know I’m going to buy them.

Over the weekend I cooked some Korean BBQ with sticky rice, drank about a dozen gimlets, half dozen dirty martinis, and about 20 gallons of coffee. I’m all ready and revved up for a week of pure profit.

Enough of the chit-chat, go get ready for the opening tick you fucking faggots.

I don’t know if the Sino-American trade war has concluded, but markets don’t give a shit. If you’ve been fading stocks due to the advent of tariffs, you’re getting graped tonight.

The NIKKEI is higher by 2.7%, China +1% — Nasdaq futures are +30.

I’d bet both my testicles that Nasdaq futures will be higher by at least 50 by tomorrow morning.

The only notable news this evening is BREXIT drama. Apparently, Theresa May isn’t too keen on BREXIT. Big surprise.

In other news, Bordeaux prices are under pressure. Winefags behold and BTFD.

High prices for Bordeaux 2017 compared with similar prior vintages, and restrained demand from buyers focusing on a few top labels, is leading to wine stocks backing up at merchants in the French port and a squeeze on margins through the supply chain, according to London-based online wine market Liv-ex.

Average 2017 prices for wines in the Liv-ex Bordeaux 500 Fine Wine Index, comprising the last 10 physically-available vintages from 50 top wine estates, were down just 11.5 percent from the higher quality 2016 vintage. The average 2017 price in the index was 124 euros ($146) a bottle in bond, only 2 euros cheaper than the more critically-acclaimed 2015 vintage and almost 20 percent more than Liv-ex’s suggested fair-value level. The 2017 season was marked in some regions by the worst spring frosts in a quarter century.

It has become quite apparent to me that many Americans aren’t well suited for emotionally charged environments, always opting for impulsive acts of depravity, violence, and tone deaf adherence to a set of standards that only serve the interests of political pigs. I can only speak for Americans — because it’s where I live. I know the people and their strengths, weaknesses; and knowing this has enabled me to crush them on a daily basis for the better part of my entire life.

While markets edge higher and stocks provide investors with once in a life time opportunities, many of you are sidelined — still waiting for a crash, convinced that all of the chickens will be coming home to roost. Trump is on his way to prison, as well as his entire cabinet. His family will be forced to break rocks in hard labor camps, and Putin will soon be assassinated by American patriots at the CIA, leading to a sequence of events that will enable us to take Crimea, re-institute unfair trade practices that give Mexico, China, and Europe an advantage of us — and bomb N. Korea until everyone there is dead.

After all of this shit happens, your market will finally collapse, due to the panic, but also due to the normalization of much higher corporate tax rates and regulations that will go back into effect once Trump is arrested. Sure, stocks will trade lower — but fuck Wall Street. We don’t need them, just their money to finance social projects and charitable causes.

Some of you are unappreciative of my glib sarcasm, but don’t worry, rest assured, I don’t give a fuck. Let me rephrase that so we’re clear: I care a great deal about you, the unwashed pleb reader, and I also care about the state of the retail investor, maybe even an advisor or two. Those guys are my char-wallahs. What I don’t care about are the outcomes of this sordid game being played in our political landscape. I am completely disconnected from it. I don’t even read the news anymore — because it’s meaningless and does not put coin in my pocket.

All that is important now is the bottom line and how can I navigate the current trend to improve my life and the lives of the people who depend upon me.

I promise you, if you simply lived by this mantra, you’ll not only be a happier person, but richer too.

When you’re buying and selling stocks, often times people forget there are businesses behind those tickers and digits. Most people are slothful and merely take idle glances at the charts to look for patterns that could produce repeatable success. However, for most people, day and swing trading isn’t an option. For most people, investing for longer durations is not only preferable, but necessary.

When I was managing money, the first thing I tried to do it train clients to look at the underlying businesses, starting with revenues. This is the life of the company, the fuel in the engine that produces those repeatable moments in your charts.

If you could find charts like this…

…then you’re almost assured to have investment success.

The premise behind my Quant strategy in Exodus is to find charts like that, scouring for them digitally of course — because only pavement apes sift thru charts manually these days. What do you print out charts from your Bloomberg and go thru them one by one, drawing lines on them with a fucking ruler? Kill yourself.

Here are my charts, all produced within seconds Market cap range is $1-10 billion, minimum growth +30%, minimum revenues $25m, minimum YTD return +30%.

Enjoy your Saturday.