Markets in Flush Mode — So I Bought a Chinese Burrito IPO (Try to Stop Me Edition)

Markets are doing precisely what I expected. My LABD is sprinting higher and more or less my longs are okay. So, capturing the spirit of all of the Wall Street gamblers before me, I stepped in and bought some UXIN.

UXIN is a piece of shit Chinese IPO that just came public; and because it was priced during a very bad day in the markets, it didn’t get to stretch its legs. Ergo, I stepped in and bought some today.

Is it possible that this too could lead to a disastrous drawdown?

Not possible.

Also, I am now down to just 10% cash, perhaps a foolhardy position all things considered. But I have those SRTY and LABD hedges working overtime for me. Nothing is able to stop me, frankly, so don’t even try to get in my way.

I absolutely love this job. I’m like a financial detective trying to solve cases every day. If you’ve been doing this shit long enough, you know all of the scenarios and the motivations of the people you’re investigating.

Case in point: futures were up last night and I knew it meant absolutely nothing. Why? Because greedy investors got caught flat footed, leveraged to the hilt, and now they’re being liquidated. Simultaneously, the cynics amongst you always demand major flush outs before heading back higher. It’s just one of those nonsensical things that Wall Street believes in, sort of like hoping to get cancer first, before making a full recovery from the common cold.

So now you have all of these technicians and strategists prancing around Wall Street advising clients to remain defensive until some major showdown between the bulls and the bears takes place, leaving scores dead on the battlefield of speculation.

Meanwhile, I’ll be here watching the whole thing unfold, throwing roasted almonds at them.

This is what I’m going to do today, so listen to me very quietly.

I am going to book profits on my fucking inverse ETFs and then I’m going to take said cash and leave it there, drink a fuckload of coffee, eat a few sandwiches, laugh and make fun of everyone on the internets. And then, once the smoke clears and the last pleb is liquidated from his margined positions, I am going to buy the blood and profit from the pain of others.

I’m conflicted, as you can tell by the headline. On one hand, it is my utmost desire to see stocks die and the country burn 10,000 deaths for being so gravely stupid. All of the people who’ve presided over the ruinous fiscal malfeasance should be drawn and quartered.

On the other, I want the melody to continue and the waltz to commence. I enjoy the rarified air and the perfumed scents of the finer people; and I laugh and mock those on the outside looking in, as they peer into our world with murder in their eyes. During a different part of my life, I was on the outside looking in. I too wanted to kill and maim all of you — but now I’m beholden to nothing but the bottom line, and of course the confines of iBC and Exodus and the people who are loyal to me.

That said, the recent drawdown has been severe, almost deleterious, for the tech sector.

A few things to consider.

The Application Software overbought/oversold oscillator is very oversold now, implying the SAAS sector is overdue a bounce.

The overall market indicator IS NOT oversold, implying we might have further to fall.

The recent losses in the tech sector have definitely produced some margin calls. Because of this, any rallies should be suspect for about a week. These rallies will be used to liquidate positions and that could lead to a series of frustrating failed rallies, circa 2014.

Nasdaq futures are +20 now and that means absolutely nothing.

The 2-10 yield curve is flat as shit now, just 32 bps. Meanwhile, the Trump-world trade war resumes, uninterrupted, all the while oil careens higher at a time when it’s supposed to drop.

These negative drop backs, coupled with the overheated nature of the small capped rally, has led us here — absolute bloodshed and carnage, and also more bloodshed.

I lost gobs of money in CBLK, DOCU, MDB, and HUBS. I even lost money in the old man stocks I bought today. Everything was lower and the pin action was so dreary, I ended up diving into both SRTY and LABD as a hedge against my rapidly declining stocks.

Into tomorrow, I am 15% cash, hedged with SRTY, LABD, 3 old man stocks, and a partridge and a pear tree.

Completely fucked.

Meanwhile VIXfags rejoice. The world is upside down.

It’s bloody murder out there — massive reversal in market has people leaning sideways and heading down hard. I added another hedge here, buying LABD — because fuck biotech. One of my stocks just got FDA approval and the shares still went lower.

Nothing can stop the prophecy of the Four Horsemen now. It’s all hands on deck. Raise some cash and/or hedge your positions, else you’ll be scrubbing the bathroom floors soon — after you shit your pantaloons.

They barely beat on the top and bottom lines.

National Beverage reports FY18 EPS $3.19 vs $3.16 single analyst estimate; revs +18% to $976 mln vs $975.52 mln Capital IQ Consensus

Is the La Croix infused rally over for FIZZ, or are sellers retarded for absconding with their shares? It should be noted, I sold at $106, like a gentlemen of extreme quality.

It’s also noteworthy to see valuations are at reasonably high levels, not too absurd.

Shares are enduring broken elevator trading action, as are most momo names. Today is a rueful day for stock longs. Men who bought “up stocks” are ten times dumber today than yesterday.

Markets are in spiral mode here and I feel like a fucking serial killer in on my tail, trying to murder me and my stocks. I broke loose of BOX today, a crowd favorite, at an 11.5% loss. All of the stocks I bought yesterday are lower, DOCU sharply lower.

There isn’t much recourse for me, other than to sell and raise cash or hedge. I did a little of both, in addition to buying 3 old man stocks; but those aren’t holding up either.

I hedged some of my longs with a SRTY long position. Truth is, everything I do is futile. Markets are destined to drop and fall hard, amidst rumors of trade wars and actual trade wars.

The Nasdaq is -60 and I am 20% cash. I suppose I’ll stick around and wait for Exodus to flash OS, before getting really aggressive. Until then, I remain a prisoner in these downward spiraling stocks, hoping for perdition to end.

I was having a nice day up until I started to think about the occasion, circa 2014, when I lost millions of dollars long 4 tech stocks that absolutely drove rails thru my heart and into my wallet. It was my worst draw down in history and the blog post I did documenting my implosion was quite famous, linked by all of the fashionable faggots who secretly enjoyed seeing Le Fly down on his luck.

I’ve had a great run as of late, but the losses are starting to become known to me and I am cognizant of not letting a good party turn dour. Therefore, I started to sell off stocks that were meant to be trades, but have since lost their momentum.

I sold DDD, CTRL, and GPRO; and I replaced them with old man stocks enjoying this rotation: PG, HSY, and GIS.

The idea isn’t to get bearish or even defensive. I still have 80% invested in my active account and felt I needed a counterbalance to an already risk heavy portfolio.

During markets like this, once you begin to see signs of rotation, mock and deride it all you want and stick to your guns, but respect your stops. That’s all I have to say on the matter. A lot of people didn’t stop out of BILI and other Chinese names yesterday and today are feeling the wrath of that neglect.

Stop out at 10% and feel good in the morning.

WTI is lifting off and industrials are leading the market higher today — but tech stocks are taking the day off and market breadth is tepid at just 46%. This has people thinking the rotation is real and that the market is toast. But those people are wrong and oil stocks are retarded. Long live the SAASfagLORDS.

There are a sundry of names down by 2-5% this afternoon, a couple I happen to own and lament the idea of having to spend another day in such underperformers.

The Cock Black, as an example, very poorly done and lower. DOCU bad! But SPOT, MDB, and ZEN are good!

All in all, I am lower by 0.7%, with 20% cash. This level of weakness has me thinking about taking a nap and perhaps waking up later on when things look better.

Maybe I’ll delve into a non-tech stock this afternoon, try my hand at something different.

More later.

Futures were miserable up until this news came out. By golly, I felt there was a possibility that I’d lose some money today. Alas, team Trump and his band of wonderful villains came thru with the news to save the day.

Two items. Rules to be imposed on foreign investment, not that big a deal. CNBC can fuck off.

The White House won’t be looking to block companies with 25 percent or more of Chinese ownership from buying certain U.S. tech-related companies.

Instead, the government will rely on the newly strengthened Committee on Foreign Investment in the United States to deal with concerns about foreign purchase of sensitive domestic technologies, a senior administration official said Wednesday.

In all, measures the administration announced were less harsh than proposals floated earlier in the week, providing relief to markets who continue to worry about the threat of a global trade war.

The second item, a whimsically great one; expect a bigly GDP number.

“We’re excited. This is the six month anniversary of tax cuts. We’re expecting a big second quarter GDP number,” he said on CNBC’s “Squawk Box” on Wednesday. “Let me just say I have no advance notice of what it looks like.”

President Donald Trump signed the Republican tax overhaul in December, which lowered the corporate tax rate to 21 percent from 35 percent. Mnuchin cited the Federal Reserve Bank of Atlanta’s projected GDP growth of 4.7 percent for the second quarter.

“I have no idea whether it will be that high [referring to the Atlanta Fed forecast], but a year ago people were laughing when we talked about 3 percent GDP,” he said. “We have an economy that is here because of the president’s tax plan and the president’s regulatory relief and we always said trade is part of this.”

Sure, why the fuck not?

I need to sashay on over to the dealership. I’ll be back at the trading turret gunning down fools in about an hour.