Dollar Soars After Powell Fed Measures Cock Size Against Investors — Rapist on the Loose!

Okay, what exactly happened here? I was out speed eating sandwiches and came back to a market in turmoil, up only 35, and the dollar fucking ripping against the euro, +0.40%. Moreover, the price of gold got Swiss cheesed up; naturally right after I stepped in and bought some JNUG. I should’ve read the prospectus — fucked again.

Federal Reserve officials see increased economic growth and an uptick in inflation as justification to continue to raise interest rates gradually, according to minutes from the central bank’s latest meeting.

Though the policymaking Federal Open Market Committee chose not to hike its target rate at the Jan. 30-31 gathering, members indicated clearly that the path ahead for rates was higher.

Officials concluded that “upside risks” to economic growth had increased thanks to tax cuts, increased consumer spending and confidence and a general plethora of signs that growth was moving along at a sustained pace. Members said they have revised upward the economic projections they made at the previous meeting in December.

“A majority of participants noted that a stronger outlook for economic growth raised the likelihood that further gradual policy firming would be appropriate,” the summary stated.

“Almost all participants” saw inflation moving up to the Fed’s 2 percent inflation goal over the “medium term” as growth “remained above trend and the labor market stayed strong.”

Either everyone trading stocks today has Downs syndrome and are unable to properly read a few poorly written paragraphs, or something is afoot here. What in the world did you think would happen? Did you, for some reason, believe the Fed would not hike rates in 2018 — just because a few morons forgot to read the XIV prospectus, causing the market to collapse a few weeks back?

NO!

Powell doesn’t give a shit about XIV or anything else for that matter. He’s a God damned lawyer — a heartless demon who is only interested in one thing: billable hours. Trust me when I tell you, even though he’s on salary at the Fed, he’s thinking billable hours and will always take the path of most resistance, whichever keeps him busiest to justify his existence. He’ll do and say anything to hide the fact that he’s a useless wastrel, filling a post that is literally redundant and ceremonial.

Will he cause a market crash?

Of course he will!

Any idea how many fucking billable hours are in a market crash? Lots. Jerome will be toiling away like Scrooge on Christmas Eve — figuring out ways to tie America into pretzels, the hard type too, just so he can exert leadership.

Yellen wasn’t interested in any of that — mainly because at some point in her long life — she was a woman. Members of the fairer sex do not concern themselves with needless battles because they do not have a cock to measure; but Powell does.

That asshole is gonna measure his cock all over you people — making himself known and feared — no different from a rapist.

Welcome to the Powell Fed.

UPDATE: The last 10 minutes of trade were lovely. That’s what I call ‘flash boiling.’

Gold stocks are down ~8% over the past month. Coincidentally, my quant strategy in Exodus is also +8% for the year, absolutely poleaxing the broader indices — making the lot of you look like illiterate fools. Yes, the strategy is fairly static — updated once per month — all very trackable. You’d be wise to immerse yourself in its grandeur.

As for gold/silver: our predictive oscillators are implying the sector is oversold. I am merely spitballing here — but I think people are fucking retarded for thinking that rates can go up without inflation, or vice versa. Something has to give. At a bare naked minimum, stocks get shattered to pieces and the gold trade is once again a safe haven.

Bottom line: the dip in gold was fake, a scheme purported by crisis traders, and it never happened. Get in the goldmine; go and see for yourself. It’s wonderful down here. The air is brisk and the food…to die for.

I bought JNUG at ~$13.60.

NOTE: I sold KODK, in light of the crypto correction underway. Trade netted +14%.

European stocks are lower today, deservedly so. Additionally, Dow futures are -58, but Nasdaq are +18. Both gold and oil are weak and the dollar is higher v the euro by 0.3%. Bitcoin cracked below $11,000 again and the cryptoFAG space is in flummox again — beset by losses.

After the great big wonderful melt up of stocks in early January, it appears we’re in for a bit of consolidating. Gone are the halcyon days when we could buy a stock after seeing it join the blockchain, riding it up for a 500% single day return. Nowadays, we are forced, almost cruelly, to endure small moves — which takes forever to materialize into something meaningful.

I hope we can put all of this nonsense behind us and run higher again, this time without the shackles of austerity.

Meanwhile, there’s some news to review this morning.

TTPH +10.1% (enters into an exclusive licensing agreement with Everest Medicines to develop and commercialize eravacycline in mainland China, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Macau, South Korea, and Singapore)
MOS +2.6% (upgraded to Overweight from Neutral at JP Morgan)
Tile Shop misses by $0.10, misses on revs; comps -4.9%; traffic weakened during Q4 due in part to a shift in promotional strategy; names Cabell Lolmaugh as COO (8.45)
Owens Corning beats by $0.07, beats on revs
Six Flags target raised to $78 at Stifel — Dubai chatter spooks investors; Sell-off creates buying opportunity as core biz remains healthy
Garmin beats by $0.03, beats on revs; guides FY18 EPS above consensus, revs above consensus; Announces cash dividend plan for 2018
The Information discusses that Amazon (AMZN) made an offer to purchase August Home in mid-2016, but was rejected
Capital One downgraded to Neutral from Buy at Nomura
HollyFrontier misses by $0.13, beats on revs
Advance Auto beats by $0.13, beats on revs; guides FY18 revs below consensus
U.S. Silica misses by $0.02, reports revs in-line
Cheniere Energy misses by $0.08, beats on revs

It seems there is a sickness in this country and it doesn’t have anything to do with mental health. If you boil down everything to a singular common thread, amongst both the extreme right and left, it is hatred for country. This hatred makes them cynical of any news being reported on teevee. Think about how dreadful their lives must be, not being able to believe in anything.

A great man once said, “the mind that alters, alters all.”

From my vantage point, this all started with 9/11. Mostly everyone I’ve talked to about 9/11 thinks the reported narrative was bullshit, from ordinary folks watching it on teevee to marines on the ground being told to evacuate just before building #7 came down. Because of the failures of the war and the bullshit that came with it, a fringe element has grown into a fucking monster in this country — laying the seeds of doubt in just about everything from Obama’s birth certificate, the gender of his wife Michelle, to Sandy Hook shooting, Vegas, Osama Bin Laden’s death, Andrew Breitbart’s death, Seth Rich, The Hillary emails, The Russian Trump theories, and now this: The Parkland Shootings.

I must admit, I do entertain myself, on occasion, to read these nut job theories, but only for entertainment value. Even if they were true, what am I supposed to do with that information? Moreover, how is believing in that shit going to make my life better? Distrust in government is normal and I understand why people are curious, since just about everything out of the media and the government seems to have malicious intent. But spending an inordinate amount of time investigating these ideas, unpaid, is more than unhealthy — it is deranged.

Now there’s a bunch of videos floating around calling the Parkland shooting staged, stocked with crisis actors whose only purpose is to help revoke the 2nd amendment.

An aide for Rep. Harrison out of Florida was fired today for floating the idea that David Hogg, an outspoken student at Parkland calling for gun control, was a crisis actor.

Via Tampa Bay Times:

“Both kids in the picture are not students here but actors that travel to various crisis when they happen.” Asked for backup to that claim, Kelly sent another email with a link to a YouTube conspiracy video about one of the students.

“There is a clip on you tube that shows Mr. Hogg out in California. (I guess he transferred?),” Kelly’s email read.

Hogg has come under fire by fringetards because he’s been outspoken. Speaking from personal experience, having lost my Father due to gun violence, I can tell you the temptation to simply say “ban all guns” is very overwhelming, especially after a traumatic event. Give the kid some slack.

Here’s some of the stuff being floated on Twitter.

This woman seems coached and also a bit deranged. Trump’s should ignore these media-manufactured theatrics https://t.co/ewRNRqnlEi

— Dinesh D'Souza (@DineshDSouza) February 20, 2018

It looks fishy, could it be that he's really a crisis actor? Rumors are that he's the son of an FBI field agent, if this is the case they're playing with all of us. #Parkland pic.twitter.com/r5horPrZQT

— ??Jojoh888?? (@jojoh888) February 20, 2018

@TuckerCarlson During your great interview with Dan Bongino, there was a wide shot of the Parkland protesters. One young lady looks like she's been at more than one protest (Crisis Actor?) Added @POTUS @realDonaldTrump to stop Blocking. ?? pic.twitter.com/c9IZbw5dSt

— Starrider7 (@GeorgePeterBon2) February 21, 2018

DAVID HOGG CONFIRMED FBI CRISIS ACTOR – SEEN ON CBS LA BEFORE #Parkland pic.twitter.com/4i5s3qX7K6

— Clean Action (@antischool_ftw) February 20, 2018

So the rationale behind Hogg being a crisis actor is due to his CBS appearance in 2017 while living in LA. People do move, you know.

And here is a compilation of clips showing students say they were trained for such an event 6 weeks prior. And? My kids have fire drills all the time. If a fire should break out, does that mean the whole thing was staged?

Some people are just sad and aren’t thinking this through all the way. When in doubt, be nice and show some decorum.

I was gonna hold off until tomorrow, considering the market is very weak and all. But then I remembered YOLO and how I endeavor to partake in grand acts of chicanery and how sidelining oneself is equal to cuckoldry and how I don’t like the concept of such a thing, even in jest.

I gained some biotech exposure via the purchase of CRSP. Unlike the crypto proxies that offer 100% daily moves, I am only expecting 5 additional points of upside in this one.

We’re in the process of pricing in a new paradigm, once again. Wall Street is beginning to accept higher rates as a reality and is tossing industries that will be adversely affected by them into the toilet can.

Notice how the 2-10yr spread is tightening? That’s deleterious for banks. We hope they die. When I refer to word “we”, I mean it royally.

So with higher rates, investors are anticipating the annihilation of inflation. This is a little confusing since the whole idea of higher rates is to fend off the beasts of inflation. But the reality is, indelibly, there isn’t any. Ergo, interest rate sensitive sectors are being destroyed. By destroyed, I mean less than -2% for the day.

Do I really need to post a gold chart? At this point, what difference does it make?

Markets are beginning to pick up steam to the downside, making intra-day longs impossible. If you’re looking for overnight trades, perhaps look into crypto proxies, software, semis, or oils. Truth be told, there is a lingering uneasiness to the market and you might be better served keeping some dry powder. At some point, along this very long and tedious narrative, markets will dislocate and plunge lower. Most of you reading will react too slowly to recover, taking advice from perma-bulls who aren’t really smart and only buy markets when they dip. Once upon a time there was a market filled with broken elevators and depraved rapists behind ever bend. In recent years, the country and the rest of the world have gotten fat and spoiled, accustomed to a one directional market and have lost their basic instincts for survival.

“The Fly” has lived through the very worst of markets, dating back to the panic of Kipper and Wipper, purported by Holy Roman faggots. Now we have a wonderful detente, a peaceful and harmonious rigged market that has been buoyed under false pretenses. Well, now with the liquidity being withdrawn from the system and the Federal Reserve revoking its excess money supply, though selling down its balance sheet and hiking rates, one can only assume there will be a renewed interest in the darker side of the market. While I do not think this is the time for panic, I am prepared to accept it.

This is what the end of the world will look like. Due to a shortage of chicken in the UK, KFC has been forced to shut down ~900 stores and seek help to deal with this burgeoning crisis.

KFC warned that a supply-chain breakdown that has shut more than half of its 900 U.K. outlets would persist for the rest of the week, continuing to deprive fans of their fried-chicken fix.

KFC said it’s working with new logistical partner Deutsche Post AG to solve a problem that began over the weekend, leaving only 430 British shops with any chicken to cook as of Tuesday. About 80 percent of the brand’s U.K. eateries are franchised.

“We anticipate the number of closures will reduce today and over the coming days,” KFC said in an emailed statement Tuesday. “However, we expect the disruption to some restaurants to continue over the remainder of the week, meaning some will be closed and others operating with a reduced menu or shortened hours.”

KFC overhauled its U.K. chicken supply chain in November by replacing logistics provider Bidvest Group Ltd. with Deutsche Post’s DHL, better known for delivering books and toys to online shoppers’ homes. At the time, the new supplier described the partnership as “groundbreaking” and said it was “committed to setting a new industry benchmark” in service.

Stifel analyst Chris O’Cull estimates that the roughly 750 KFC outlets earlier affected by the chicken shortage, or about 3.5 percent of the brand’s global total, generate daily sales of $2.1 million.

KFC, which previously said it picked DHL for its expertise in other industries, this week blamed the chicken shortage on “teething problems” with the new arrangement, as the fast-food chain’s woes hatched a flurry of poultry-related puns in British newspapers.

DHL managing director John Boulter apologized in a statement for the inconvenience and disappointment caused to KFC and its customers. The company’s appointment was driven by KFC’s desire to cut costs and led to 255 job losses, according to trade union GMB.

“Bidvest are specialists –- a food distribution firm with years of experience,” GMB national officer Mick Rix said in a statement. “DHL are scratching around for any work they can get, and undercut them.”

Meanwhile, people on Twitter are freaking out over this modern day famine. The police have tweeted to leave them alone when it comes to chicken shortages. It is not a police matter.

Please do not contact us about the #KFCCrisis – it is not a police matter if your favourite eatery is not serving the menu that you desire.

— Tower Hamlets MPS (@MPSTowerHam) February 20, 2018

Here are some other choice reactions.

Disaster. Took the Grandkids out to dinner at KFC only to see that it's shut down. Some chicken shortage. Took them to McDonald's but it's not the same. Crying in the bathroom. Can't show weakness in front of them. #KFCCrisis

— Ron Sanderson (@R_Sanderson1952) February 19, 2018

I am fully aware there is a #KFCCrisis in the UK… stop sending prayers! I'm trying to fix America and then I will get to you.

JC x

— Jesus Christ (@ResurrectedDude) February 19, 2018

Zing!

"We tried to warn KFC this decision would have consequences – well now the chickens are coming home to roost. Three weeks ago they knew they had made a terrible mistake, but by then it was too late." says GMB's Mick Rix @RixyieOrganiser #KFCCrisis #kfc https://t.co/p8RszklMRa

— GMB UNION (@GMB_union) February 19, 2018

Looks like the union that helped with logistics before the change is pleased with the current meltdown.

"This major retailer has just collapsed its business and lost millions over a terrible decision. It's unprecedented. The company's executives should be going back to Bidvest on bended knee asking them to take back the work." says GMB's Mick Rix @RixyieOrganiser #KFCCrisis #kfc

— GMB UNION (@GMB_union) February 19, 2018

Real story on #KFCcrisis from GMB. Clucking awful decision ?They should reinstate their supply chain and pay staff in full for the time the stores are shut. #BoycottKFC pic.twitter.com/SYKt39Qz9y

— Cerys Hartt (@CerysHartt) February 19, 2018

When there’s no fried chicken and you have to eat your kid instead.#KFCCrisis pic.twitter.com/tsDYMAhrMn

— New Town Flâneur (@NewTownFlaneur) February 19, 2018

sadness in his eyes #KFCCrisis pic.twitter.com/vU1GjX2r17

— rory (@despburitto) February 19, 2018

Shares of YUM are +0.3% on the day — giant nothing burger.

Thank God the rally in WMT is finally over. I am actually delighted to see it down 9%, after the run up it had. Truth be told, it injured me to see it rising on a daily basis — the welfare of retailers acting like it was Hermes. With WMT diving lower, the aesthetics of the market is poor, which is actually misleading because everything is great.

There is true strength in both semis and oil stocks, which has helped me increase my portfolio values this morning.

FTK is my top pick in the oil barrel space — but there are others.

Strength in the cryptos have boosted proxies like OSTK, DPW, LFIN, GROW, MARA, and JTPY.

Lastly, rates are edging higher, marked by the 10yr above 2.90% — a giant nothing burger — just like the Mueller investigations. Yes, indeed.

I have some money to put to work and will allocating it today. Funnier stuff to come later.

Happy Monday stock cucks.

Andrew Sheets, chief cross-asset strategist at Morgan Stanley, is out with a note tonight warning investors that the recent correction that was eradicated over the past week of rallies was merely an appetizer, an opening salvo into a sequence of events that poses to lay waste to the American stock market.

The motivation?

Higher rates effectively removes the sweet tit of low interest rates and leaves stocks naked and bare to face thw easterly winds by itself — dependent on earnings growth instead of multiple expansion.

The U.S. stock market only had a taste of the potential damage from higher bond yields earlier this year, with the biggest test yet to come, according to Morgan Stanley.

Via Bloomberg:

“Appetizer, not the main course,” is how the bank’s strategists led by London-based Andrew Sheets described the correction of late January to early February. Although higher bond yields proved tough for equity investors to digest, the key metric of inflation-adjusted yields didn’t break out of their range for the past five years, they said in a note Monday.

“It’s when growth softens while inflation is still rising that returns suffer most,” the strategists wrote. “Strong global growth and a good first-quarter reporting season provided an important offset. We remain on watch for ‘tricky handoff’ in the second quarter, as core inflation rises and activity indicators moderate.”

As a bear, what you want to see is the delicate woven seams begin to unravel. The Trump economic expansion plans ruined, Mueller to gain power and decimate the Trump presidency — a whole litany of events that pushes America into the toilet bowl of democratic branded marxism — full retarded healthcare and all.

Under a scenario of weakening GDP growth and higher rates, markets should ‘courrect’ by a solid 30%.

Bad news for bearshitstains, none of that nonsense is bound to happen. In one year henceforth, Robert Mueller will be rotting away in a dank prison cell and Barack Obama will be humiliated alongside his retarded portrait — forced to live out the rest of his days isolated in a Kenyan work camp.

Providing markets behave and everything remains docile, there is a unique opportunity here to apply the short squeeze, twisting and contorting the necks of bears until they snap and break and fold from the pressure. The idea is to buy stocks that are technically strong, which are heavily bet against by Wall Street.

Using the technical ranking intelligence of Exodus, I have a list handy at my disposal and might deviate from my usual routine to take on a few of these gambits.

Here are my favorites, so far.

Who else likes GRUB for the hundy roll? That is as good as a CD in the bank.

For members, the full list is here.