iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
18,710 Blog Posts

Dollar Soars After Powell Fed Measures Cock Size Against Investors — Rapist on the Loose!

Okay, what exactly happened here? I was out speed eating sandwiches and came back to a market in turmoil, up only 35, and the dollar fucking ripping against the euro, +0.40%. Moreover, the price of gold got Swiss cheesed up; naturally right after I stepped in and bought some JNUG. I should’ve read the prospectus — fucked again.

Federal Reserve officials see increased economic growth and an uptick in inflation as justification to continue to raise interest rates gradually, according to minutes from the central bank’s latest meeting.

Though the policymaking Federal Open Market Committee chose not to hike its target rate at the Jan. 30-31 gathering, members indicated clearly that the path ahead for rates was higher.

Officials concluded that “upside risks” to economic growth had increased thanks to tax cuts, increased consumer spending and confidence and a general plethora of signs that growth was moving along at a sustained pace. Members said they have revised upward the economic projections they made at the previous meeting in December.

“A majority of participants noted that a stronger outlook for economic growth raised the likelihood that further gradual policy firming would be appropriate,” the summary stated.

“Almost all participants” saw inflation moving up to the Fed’s 2 percent inflation goal over the “medium term” as growth “remained above trend and the labor market stayed strong.”

Either everyone trading stocks today has Downs syndrome and are unable to properly read a few poorly written paragraphs, or something is afoot here. What in the world did you think would happen? Did you, for some reason, believe the Fed would not hike rates in 2018 — just because a few morons forgot to read the XIV prospectus, causing the market to collapse a few weeks back?

NO!

Powell doesn’t give a shit about XIV or anything else for that matter. He’s a God damned lawyer — a heartless demon who is only interested in one thing: billable hours. Trust me when I tell you, even though he’s on salary at the Fed, he’s thinking billable hours and will always take the path of most resistance, whichever keeps him busiest to justify his existence. He’ll do and say anything to hide the fact that he’s a useless wastrel, filling a post that is literally redundant and ceremonial.

Will he cause a market crash?

Of course he will!

Any idea how many fucking billable hours are in a market crash? Lots. Jerome will be toiling away like Scrooge on Christmas Eve — figuring out ways to tie America into pretzels, the hard type too, just so he can exert leadership.

Yellen wasn’t interested in any of that — mainly because at some point in her long life — she was a woman. Members of the fairer sex do not concern themselves with needless battles because they do not have a cock to measure; but Powell does.

That asshole is gonna measure his cock all over you people — making himself known and feared — no different from a rapist.

Welcome to the Powell Fed.

UPDATE: The last 10 minutes of trade were lovely. That’s what I call ‘flash boiling.’

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24 comments

  1. mx2101

    Those last few paragraphs… pretty fine writing you don’t see just anywhere.

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  2. Dr. Fly

    Thanks. You don’t think they were sexist, do you?

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    • mx2101

      No. I don’t think trope is sexist.

      • 1
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    • Cricket

      “Members of the fairer sex do not concern themselves with needless battles because they do not have a cock to measure …”

      LOL. Is this sexist or is it fake news? Or both?

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  3. Cricket

    Powell is nothing like the Central Bankers of the last 40 years or so. He’s going to try to get the Fed’s books in order – also don’t forget that the Fed is also under a lot of political pressure to be more open and audited. If they can audit the Pentagon, they will audit the Fed.

    Expect Mnuchin to try to talk the dollar back down again tomorrow.

    There’s a sh*t storm headed this way. A perfect environment in which to downsize government substantially.

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    • ferd

      ” …they will audit the Fed”
      Nope, and anyone proposing that will be primaried. The Fed will be audited only after a big disruption in the status quo …which does not now seem to be on the horizon. But I like your optimism.

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    • numbersgame

      There are piles of info on the FED for anyone bothering to look:
      https://www.federalreserve.gov/data.htm

      The problem with the FED is not transparency, as it is pretty obvious what they are doing most of the tiem. The problem is that waht they are doing does not seem to be in the best interest of the majority of Americans.

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  4. it is showtime

    The Hunger Games (12/12) Movie CLIP – Rule Change (2012) HD

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgr2tLYYha4

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  5. smarticusrex

    Should we take the Ark out of the garage yet and start brushing the dust off it?

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    • Dr. Fly

      I was hiding in the mine when a deluge came in. Right now I am in the oil fields.

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    • numbersgame

      What are you going to put in the ark? Here is a list of what went down today:

      large-cap stocks and small-cap stock
      US treasuries and high yield bonds
      Japanese Yen and Bitcoins
      oil and gold

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  6. sarcrilege

    Exactly right! Powell is just the front, a PR guy and soon to be a market crash fall guy who will “… do and say anything to hide the fact that he’s a useless wastrel, filling a post that is literally redundant and ceremonial.” Amen.

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  7. acehood

    Women don’t concern themselves with needless battles? The fuck?

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  8. Lyndon Keltner

    I am enjoying this Trump market thoroughly. So spasmodic like Trump himself.

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  9. Fidel Cash Grow

    I protected myself with HAIR today. Finally… a stock for men!

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  10. roundwego

    Globalism is dead. Crash time. Central banKS need a crissis.

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  11. one-eighty

    Once the effect of Trump’s tariffs start to bite and inflation returns, interest rates will rise, wages will stagnate, and the unemployment rate will go up.

    I feel sorry for the deluded people who voted for him but that is what you get when you believe the lying Republican scum.

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  12. Black Swan

    “That asshole is gonna measure his cock all over you people “. Is that a thing? (asking for an Index Tracker friend)

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