Help Me Invest 10% of iBankCoin’s Annual Revenues in Crypto Currencies

I’ve decided to allocate a small portion, as much as 10% of iBankCoin’s annual revenues into a basket of crypto-currencies. I have my ideas of what to buy — but figured this would be a good forum to open up a discussion with you absolute faggots about the state of the crypto markets and which ICOs you favor most and why.

Give me your elevator pitch on what cryptos you favor and why.

My wife sometimes says my ‘dual personality’ is the result of my astrological sign. I like to believe I’m simply malleable, an easy going fella who enjoys banter and differing views of opinion. Invariably, my investment portfolios exemplify how very different my ‘dual personalities’ are.

On one hand, I have a portfolio being managed by algorithms set up in Exodus. It is a sterile approach and it doesn’t need my opinion to make money. Last year it made me more than 30% on my money and this year it’s up around ~2%.

My other portfolio is my discretionary account — my devilish nature, and it is getting HAMMED BURGERED — racked by one stock: BURG. It was supposed to make me 100% inside of a week’s effort, but now I’m down ~25% in the name. Don’t worry, however, I have other positions to provide me with ample succor. I made 20% in XNET, up a solid 6% in SN, and have some more gains in JNUG, UCTT, and GSUM. But it wasn’t supposed to be like this — me starting off the year with a hamburger stock racking me for 1/4th of my investment. Then again, what did I expect, when juggling clay jars filled with nitro-glycerine?

My overarching theme for 2018, thus far, is to be levered long oil into the maelstrom of Iran. This trade may very possibly reverse and scorn me, as oil seems to do at least once per annum. The crypto proxy trades feels heavy, after week’s of gains, totally hijacked by the very dumbest people on the planet. The marijuana trade feels younger and virile, but still lame and degenerate. My sense is to be careful, especially with VIX down at record low levels; but I probably won’t heed my own advice and will continue to swing at the windmills, as they approach me in their menacing manner.

Perhaps it is my particolored personality that will save me from total destruction, having the majority of my net worth invested quantitatively, whilst I dabble around in the pits of Wall Street chasing golden dreams in a gauche milieux. The highly publicized vaunted success of the stock market has created a new cast of perfidious bootblacks, seemingly immune to the restive pangs of set-backs, unstinted in their rise to a higher order. While I do appreciate the ceremonial death of the old guard and rise of a new one, an aspirational radiance that has created billionaires from their bedrooms through a never-ending rise in assets, I’m afraid a sockdolager is coming soon — a weaving comeuppance designed to remove the chaff from this grande party.

Buyers Beware!

The Register is out with a report today, sending shares of INTC sharply lower and chief competitor AMD higher.

Updated A fundamental design flaw in Intel’s processor chips has forced a significant redesign of the Linux and Windows kernels to defang the chip-level security bug.

Programmers are scrambling to overhaul the open-source Linux kernel’s virtual memory system. Meanwhile, Microsoft is expected to publicly introduce the necessary changes to its Windows operating system in an upcoming Patch Tuesday: these changes were seeded to beta testers running fast-ring Windows Insider builds in November and December.

Crucially, these updates to both Linux and Windows will incur a performance hit on Intel products. The effects are still being benchmarked, however we’re looking at a ballpark figure of five to 30 per cent slow down, depending on the task and the processor model. More recent Intel chips have features – such as PCID – to reduce the performance hit. Your mileage may vary.

In case you were wondering if AMD’s chips were immune to these sort of attacks, they are.

AMD processors are not subject to the types of attacks that the kernel page table isolation feature protects against. The AMD microarchitecture does not allow memory references, including speculative references, that access higher privileged data when running in a lesser privileged mode when that access would result in a page fault.

For decades, AMD has been the red-headed step-child to Intel. While this set-back is most assuredly temporary for Intel, it does permit AMD shareholders with a glimmer of hope to possibly compete with Intel on a small scale — thanks to this critical chip flaw.

On a valuation scale, AMD is trading at ~2x sales and Intel ~3X. Shares of AMD are flat over the past year, while Intel’s are higher by 25%.

Most of you do not know this, but I was born an oil man. As a baby, I’d dawdle around the oil fields, tossing wrenches at the engineers, playing with the seismic machinery. Later on I got into finance and almost nearly forgot that I was man of extreme oil.

Several years ago, I became obsessed with a small fracking company FTK. I bought over a million shares and behind the scenes was actively talking to management, helping to set up financing. As luck would have it, they didn’t need my counsel and oil prices sprang higher and FTK rose to over $30.

When oil collapsed a few years ago, I left the sector and never returned, instead favoring tech stocks — all but forgetting my heritage in the oil sector. All of that has ended today. I stepped back into the well, knee deep in this shit, long both SLCA and FTK — rounding out my position to an even four — including SN and BBG.

It is my belief the capitol of Iran will burn soon and when it does the price of oil is going to scream higher. Being an oil man, I felt now was the time to step in, before the plebs pile in, leaving behind all of their crypto-proxies and pot plays for something real and substantial — ground soaking, reservoir ruining, earth fucking oil.

I’m long the frackers because I like ‘fracking juice’, as we liked to call it back in Brooklyn. We’ll be drilling so much oil soon, the state of Texas will secede and literally punch California in the fucking face for being so God damned stupid.

I realize this is a bold move, with oil only ~$60 or so. By God, the frackers need oil to be north of $75 to make any real money. As Jupiter is my witness, we shall see oil trade to $75 and MOAR this year, forcing faggots in large numbers into TIPS — afraid to death of the $1,000 tomato and runaway inflation.

Nuclear threats aside, the Trump presidency has been an absolute blessing for investors. Because both Republicans and Democrats loathe him, nothing is getting done in DC. The markets loves gridlock — fucking loves status quo. But normality aside, all of his executive orders have been exceedingly bullish for stocks, especially the easing of regulations and the recent tax cuts he just passed.

Plus, the talking down of the dollar, saber rattling for more war, and a glibly confident bragging President about the performance of stocks has created an atmosphere of pure hedonism and it has trickled down into stocks and cryptos. You cannot compare the Obama economy or environment to Trump’s — for he literally doesn’t give a shit. He wants higher stock prices and he wants them now. He lives for this shit and will do anything that would paint him in a favorable light — a true narcissist. Wall Street loves this shit.

The crypto rallies are a byproduct of all the excess, a new gilded age of pot smoking degenerates spending inordinate sums of money, snapping pictures of their grotesque meals, all because they can.

Well, stocks are going higher because they can. Cramer acknowledges this ‘beast mode’ mentality that has gripped markets. You cannot deny its existence, believe me.

Cryptos gapping higher. Stocks are poised to break the fuck out. Degeneracy is at its highest point ever. Grown men are discussing marijuana stock ideas. And the President of the United States enjoys to dick around on Twitter all day long, threatening others with nuclear war.

You get what you get and you don’t complain about it when you find out you don’t like it at all. As traders, we deal with the news flow without emotions — check your egos at the door or your money — because you can’t have both. We are the culmination of generations of spoiled brats marooned on a continent, afforded with grandeur, safety, and stability. We suckled from the great whore and then we suckled some more. Alas, we are now a robotically inclined species bereft of dignity and honor, meandering from one sniveling hole to the next — complaining about injustices that a previous generation would’ve laughed at. But we have great stocked markets and even better mansions.

Enjoy it while it isn’t burning down.

WTI is nearing $61. This will be the best trade of 2018, in my opinion. Start buying oil stocks in earnest.

Nasdaq futures are +5 and I fully expect the rally to continue. This being a new year and all, I made a commitment to not share my Quant ideas with non-members of Exodus. But just know, they are mega-cap and conventional picks, concentrated ideas. My algorithms are suggesting we enjoy more of the same meal that we had during all of 2017. I’m inclined to believe this is a sound strategy. No point in trying to fix what isn’t broken.

Here’s some other news for your perusal.

Lazard upgraded to Buy from Neutral at Nomura
HCA downgraded to Neutral from Overweight at Piper Jaffray
E*TRADE upgraded to Overweight from Equal-Weight at Morgan Stanley
Expedia upgraded to Buy from Neutral at BofA/Merrill
Commercial Metals beats by $0.15, beats on revs
EOG Resources upgraded to Buy from Neutral at Citigroup
Dick’s Sporting Goods upgraded to Outperform from Market Perform at Wells Fargo
Apollo Global Management upgraded to Overweight from Equal-Weight at Morgan Stanley
Affiliated Managers downgraded to Neutral from Outperform at Credit Suisse
Ambarella upgraded to Outperform at Oppenheimer
Oracle upgraded to Overweight from Equal-Weight at Morgan Stanley

My crypto proxy stocks are going to ejaculate with joy to the upside tomorrow. The animal spirits are in fact quite animalistic tonight. Cardano is making waves, as well as Ripple — now past $100 billion in value.

I am long BURG, GSUM and a little NXTDW on the proxy side of things — but have a willingness to do more. It’s worth noting, the most insane stock in my discretionary account is in fact my favorite: the hamburger blockchain stock. It’s gonna fucking go.

Our shit-poster in chief, a man who is actively seeking to destroy FAKE NEWS from publishing the great many lies he likes to tell, has just upped the ante on social media — becoming the first leader of a country to menace another with nuclear war via Twitter.

Where does this end? At the ass end of a bomb shelter, apparently.

North Korean Leader Kim Jong Un just stated that the “Nuclear Button is on his desk at all times.” Will someone from his depleted and food starved regime please inform him that I too have a Nuclear Button, but it is a much bigger & more powerful one than his, and my Button works!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 3, 2018

Thank heavens Hillary didn’t get elected, otherwise we might be barreling towards some sort of inane nuclear showdown with a shit tier country who has nothing at all to do with America’s national interests.

In lighter news, the President will also be handing out “DISHONEST and CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS” this year for fake news manufacturers. How wonderful and gracious of him to do so.

I will be announcing THE MOST DISHONEST & CORRUPT MEDIA AWARDS OF THE YEAR on Monday at 5:00 o’clock. Subjects will cover Dishonesty & Bad Reporting in various categories from the Fake News Media. Stay tuned!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) January 3, 2018

What the fuck is going on here?

Nasdaq futures are +3.

Crypto currencies are through the god damned roof, propelling the collective market cap to over $670 billion. All of you ham and eggers waiting for Bitcoin to implode will need to wait a little bit longer. Meanwhile, stocks jumped higher by 100 Dow and 100 Nasdaqs — all but eviscerating shorts and subjugating them to fag-boxes, by which they will float in space indefinitely.

My Quant holdings rose by more than 1.4% and gold was the standout — making my JNUG an extreme winner today. With crude above $60, you should all get long oil stocks now, else miss out on what could become the single best trade of the year — piece of shit oil stocks.

I am long SN and BBG.

Once again, the standouts were crypto-proxies, led by names like BURG, GROW, TEUM, NETE, LTEA and SIEB. I was going to buy SIEB earlier today, but opted for the hamburger joint instead. Truth be told, BURG has a lot of upside left in here. You’ll find that out soon enough. Inside Exodus, we’re trading these fuckers all day. I’ve corralled them in one space and watch over them like my children.

I booked one trade today, a 20% winner in XNET, and have an interest in buying more BURG tomorrow morning. We live in the very best of times — might as well profit from it with extreme recklessness.

A lot of people ask me how best to use Exodus. I will show you now.

Case in point, $IBB flagged oversold on Friday. Upon seeing this, as a member, you’d take a look at the track record of our AI calling oversold signals for IBB.

Seemingly flawless.

Biotech is hot today.

IBB broke sharply higher.

Exodus wins again.