Gold, Oil, and Shitcoins for the Win

This is how everyone should be spending their days, modeling it against mine.

Wake up at 6am and take a fucking shower. After the shower, get dressed to look like a citizen of the world, shuffle into the kitchen for a large bowl of oat’d meal and black coffee. After breakfast, open your computer to peruse the financial news — laugh at your Twitter feed.

Trade stocks all day, with just a 20 minute break for extra coffee, sustenance, and idle chit chat with fellow human beings. After profiting all day, which is hard work, head out to the fucking gym to keep your physical form in shape.

Start trading SHITCOINS after 7pm; read white papers to get better accustomed with the new asset class.

Eat a fine supper. Drink a little wine. Watch teevee, take another fucking shower, and go to bed.

Gold is higher by more than 1% this morning, Dow futures are +80, oil is +0.4%, and BTC is +10%.

Welcome to the greatest show on earth.

I see most things are boring this evening, other than gold. Any of you faggots get involved alongside me? I am in NUGT, GROW and EGO and look forward to making a King’s Ransom in the most hated asset class since banks, circa 2009.

Really, who the fuck is long gold these days? Absolutely no one. All of the fiat haters are busy gambling in cryptos like drug addicts. The rest of the gold bugs are either dead or ceded to the market and now own NFLX. The entire Peter Schiff/Jakegint fan boy shareholder base is gone. So, like all things old and out of favor, there comes a certain time and season for it to become fashionable again. I tried to tell you the seasonality favored gold this time of year. The data is right there in Exodus, dying for you to consume it. Instead, like an idiot, you’re not long gold now and you will not make a King’s Ransom when it explodes higher. Seriously, I don’t know why I bother sometimes.

I had too much sushi for dinner this evening and now feel too full to even walk normal. I’m sort of shifting around the house like a crab, walking sideways and deliberately. I do love to eat food from the orient, but something about it makes me want to throw it away as soon as I’m finished with it. Then I want to get the garbage bag the heck out of my house and into the outside trash. If it were Italian food, I wouldn’t mind saving for left over and it probably wouldn’t bother me in the inside trash. Damned Asian food is disgusting after it has been ingested. Who likes to eat old sushi anyways? You’ve got to be some sort of special fucking idiot to do that.

Time for me to go.

Ciao

Another day in the market, another day banking coin.

For the day, I positioned myself in gold, via EGO and GROW. With the latter, it has the added distinction of also being a blockchain play. Let me remind you, I never lose.

All of my positions are about to break loose, including FTK, NUGT, SN, LEDS, CNET, SECO and several others.

“The Fly” is back trading and stronger than ever — tossing cars out of his way — ripping mailboxes out from the ground and bashing them into fuckers in my way.

Meanwhile, the Nasdaq jumped by another 50. Life is good and getting better. Try to keep up with this fast paced market.

You’re never gonna be happy unless you jimmy rig a way to riches. Zero women will ever want to procreate with you, lest you hoodwink them as a youngster — before the concept of money and power mean anything at all. Should you find yourselves to be single and above the age of 30, I strongly suggest getting rich, else you’re going to die a very lonely man.

Lucky for you, you have a space alien magician (SAM) on this site — here to give you stock ideas to get rich from.

Listen to me now, else forever be stuck holding your balls. Gold is on the precipice of an energetic move higher. Cast aside all of your juvenile biases and bear witness to my NUGT — splitting necks and heads to the upside today.

Dare I say, the rally isn’t over?

I went long high beta play EGO right now, searching for alpha. You can dick around with your ETFs and shares of GE and remain poor, or you can grab the bull by its horns and take what is rightfully yours.

I’ve always been an ardent fan of the bitcoin — every step of the way. While the lot of you scoundrels out there have been casting a miasma about this new and fresh asset class — the dollar killer, in all of its indecorous trimmings, I’ve been a supporter.

With the recovery of the Bitcoin today, I stepped in and bought a proxy stock — ticker symbol is GROW. In the hopes that I could fetch enormous gains with this little piece of shit stock, I have removed stops and have decided to simply let it run in the winds — naked and free — cock out and about — living the life it was born to live.

In the event it trades down for more than 3 minutes flat, I will execute sell orders and be done with it.

Now that Bitcoin held $10,000, I think the coast is now clear for further expeditions into the degenerate world of crypto currencies. I’ve placed another $5k into them this morning, with the full intent of turning that $5k into $5 million. Some might argue, ‘hey fucked face, you were just maligning bitcoin. How dare you buy cryptos now and imply that you’ve been an ardent fan.’

To those people I slowly roll down the back window of my 1980s style stretch limo — and toss out a pack of lit jumping jacks — and then speed off.

Aside from stocks powering forward, oil is impressive. Within stocks, mega cap tech is the single best place to be positioned. I will have you know, that is exactly where Exodus Quant is positioned and I am doing very well there too — fuck you very much.

On the trading front, I have two stocks popping off: CNET and SECO. Both are leisurely higher, but not high enough to sell.

How many of you bought Ripple?

On the crypto front, I am buying STORJ and INS.

Get ready to retest the lows cryptoFAGS, one of my favorite things in the world to do. I’ve always relished trading stocks that retested recent lows. More often than not, those lows are broken, and then violated, making way for new lows of an extraordinary varietal. The HODLers will soon find out what happens when fear replaces greed in the asset class — crazy things could happen. Black swan events, 10 standard deviation moves to the downside on gargantuan volume. You will not hold 10,000 BTC, for you are heading for 9,000 in fairly short order.

Aside from that, Dow futures are slightly higher, and gold and oil are up as well. Europe is putting me to sleep. Yesterday was all about CAR-T biotech plays, thanks to the buyouts. I do not think that rally can continue, or will continue — because more often than not, rallies fueled by M&A speculation is very short lived.

Anyone take a look at Cali munis recently? Go look at PCK.

Here’s me getting my Ted Koppel on, posting some other shit crossing the wires this morning.

Wynn Resorts target raised to $228 from $200; reiterated Buy — Citigroup
Verizon misses by $0.02, beats on revs
Nu Skin target raised to $81 from $70; reiterated Buy — Citigroup
Procter & Gamble reaffirms FY18 organic sales +2-3%, raises EPS to +5-8% from +5-7%
DPW Holdings subsidiary, Super Crypto Mining, secures 1,000 S9 antminers
Wayfair downgraded to Hold from Buy at Stifel
Johnson & Johnson beats by $0.02, reports revs in-line; guides FY18 EPS above consensus, revs in-line
Lumentum upgraded to Equal-Weight from Underweight at Morgan Stanley
GoPro downgraded to Underweight from Equal-Weight at Morgan Stanley
Netflix target raised to $300 at Pivotal Research Group
CRISPR Therapeutics upgraded to Buy from Hold at SunTrust

Trump is making America great again, one middle finger at a time. After the close it was announced the President approved a crippling 30% tariff on solar wares entering the country — all but fucking the entire industry that is dependent upon cheap as shit Chinese panels. This, of course, will serve as a great and wonderful boon to American manufacturers, something most Wall Streeters and fuckhead bloggers couldn’t care less about.

Here’s Bloomberg describing protecting American jobs as a negative, especially for assholes who import shitty Chinese panels.

The U.S. will impose duties of as much as 30 percent on solar equipment made abroad, a move that threatens to handicap a $28 billion industry that relies on parts made abroad for 80 percent of its supply. Just the mere threat of tariffs has shaken solar developers in recent months, with some hoarding panels and others stalling projects in anticipation of higher costs. The Solar Energy Industries Association has projected tens of thousands of job losses in a sector that employed 260,000.

The tariffs are just the latest action Trump has taken that undermine the economics of renewable energy. The administration has already decided to pull the U.S. out of the international Paris climate agreement, rolled back Obama-era regulations on power plant-emissions and passed sweeping tax reforms that constrained financing for solar and wind. The import taxes, however, will prove to be the most targeted strike on the industry yet.

“Developers may have to walk away from their projects,” said Hugh Bromley, a New York-based analyst at Bloomberg New Energy Finance. “Some rooftop solar companies may have to pull out” of some states.

Fuck renewable energy; we’re gonna dig for bricks of coal. Also, we’re gonna frack the shit out of America’s virgin lands until the drinking water combusts.

Here’s how the solar industry shakes out, so you can get a better idea of who will get fucked most.

After hour’s trading in solar is a mixed bag, with ‘Merican companies ripping higher and the Chinese slumping into shallow graves.

DQ -9%
SUNW +13%
RUN +6%
RGSE +30%
JASO -2%
FSLR +6%
VSLR +11%

Any questions?

Today we celebrate the death of the bitcoin, while soaring to new record highs on the Dow. I am out on the road right now in a locale that is without internet access, so I had today’s closing blog telegraphed into Princeton,NJ, which was then received by one of my char-wallahs, who then quickly jotted down all of my notes for your viewing pleasure.

Listen to me absolute faggots: there is nothing you can do to stop stocks from screaming higher.

Stop.

Stocks will continue to hit new records each and every day, in spite of the Orange Ape in the White’d House or anything else for that matter.

Stop.

Stocks love when the government shuts down.

Stop.

Stocks love when the government doesn’t shut down.

Stop.

Kodak is cool, all of a sudden.

Stop.

“The Fly” is positioned for extreme winship, regardless of your opinions and feelings.

Stop.

Oil is going to trade the fuck higher; meanwhile inflation is non-existent. Everything is perfect. Life is a dream.

Stop.

The Exodus overbought signal was right again; eat a dick.

Stop.

You fucking assholes are starting to piss me off.

Stop.

Cocksuckers, quit trying to stop the destiny of the market and that of iBankCoin. We’re building a dynasty of winship, multiplied by anti-faggotry on an industrial scale.

Full stop.

So many wonderful things to enjoy out of greater China. I have a particular affinity for their stocks, always bamboozling up and down Wall Street.

Just this morning, I purchased some SECO, who fancies themselves to be “the Ebay of China” and also rumored to be involved in the fantastic blockchain.

With all of these buzzwords, I can’t see how I can lose.

I’m in at $11.67, looking for $500 short term.