iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,374 Blog Posts

Bitch of a Whore Trading

Go ahead assholes, tell me you “fucking nailed” this tape. You went long, then short, then long again. At the end of the day, you were up 88.9% and now you are off to do some heroin in a dark alley with a group of hookers.

I throw jelly sandwiches at you.

Look, I am fast, but not matrix fast. I can’t switch from long to short, short to long on a daily basis. The best thing for me to do, during a period of “Bitch of a Whore Trading” is to remain hedged.

Some of you believe being hedged is retarded. However, that’s because you’re a piker and an idiot.

The only moves I made today was sell 25% of my FXI position for a loss, add to my burgeoning DUG position and initiate a TZA position.

At the end of the day, I “enjoyed” next to nil gains, during today’s rape. It pains me to know I “could have” banked some serious coin today, had I refrained from buying longs yesterday.

Instead of bitching and whining about missed opportunities, “The Fly” will go punch a few holes in his bullshit sheet rock walls right now.

Be well.

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In the Funnel: In the Vice

Following back to back fuckery, after a multitude of asshatishness, I find myself with equally balanced shorts to longs and no cash.

Basically, the way I am currently constructed, I need commercial RE to get smashed with some tornadoes, energy stocks to get “machine gunned,” while Chinese stocks walk away with a big shiny trophy.

In addition, also, I need select metal stocks to buck the trend. Knowing that this is nearly impossible, I have reduced myself to a gawking spectator, unable to make or lose money in the market, unless something odd happens.

Terrific.

Just prior to this post, I nibbled on a little TZA, just south of $54.60, mainly because I want to increase my bearish stance, ahead of tomorrow’s data. But, in the big scheme of things, it’s like I just added a single mushroom to a big pot of shit soup.

It will have little effect, if any.

So, my only recourse is to pick a side. On one hand, “Barack the Builder” and his tax evading Treasury Chief will work diligently to put condoms in the hands of underage kids, and also try to create a few jobs.

On the other, WE ARE IN A FUCKING DELAFATIONARY VORTEX, EQUAL TO SOME SORT OF FUCKED UP BLACK HOLE IN SOME SORT OF FAR AWAY GALAXY THAT JUST SWALLOWED 10 PLANETS AND 50 MOONS.

What was I thinking, going long with my cash?

Bottom line: I still have year to date gains of about 6%, with very little existing market risk. God willing, I will time the next inflection point perfectly and springboard to double digit gains, yet again.

An XOM miss tomorrow can certainly help my cause. Indeed.

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Dennis Kneale is an Idiot, part IX

Don’t worry about what “The Fly” was doing, the last 4 hours. As far as you’re concerned, he was was out dog sledding, throwing jumping jacks at innocent bystanders.

Truth be told, had I sledded past Dennis Kneale, I would throw a few dozen block busters at him.

How the fuck is that idiot still apologizing for the banking executives, for taking 100’s of millions in bonuses, at this stage in the game? I mean, it’s pretty obvious now that those idiots bankrupted the world and have led to the unemployment of about, oh let’s see, 60 million people worldwide.

And yet, Kneale says Wall Street “needs to retain talent.”

When I was young, I was a huge baseball fan. I remember watching a NY Mets game and hearing, Hall of Famer, Ralph Kiner talk about his contract negotiations with his former team, the Pittsburgh Pirates.

He said, and I’m paraphrasing here, “I hit 50 homeruns and want a raise.” The ownership replied “absolutely not. We finished last place with you and will be able to finish last place without you. Good day.”

It’s a rather crude way to look at things; but it is spot on, if I may borrow of phrase from the idiots across the pond.

There is no accountability today. Everyone wants to be a Caesar. All CEO’s feel entitled to live a life of luxury, despite not doing dick for shareholders. Bob Nardelli comes to mind.

Anyway, as for the markets:

I am glad to see GS do the Lord’s work and downgrade XOM. And, I am pleased to see DUG, ERY and SRS move higher, following yesterday’s death match with Obama. However, now I have all sorts of long positions going down. What a mess.

In a market that whipsaws 200 points up then down, on a daily basis, it is next to impossible to trade flawlessly, unless of course you are trading in and out of one position.

One thing to take note of is TBT. I must admit, I am a bit surprised to see TBT run higher so quickly. I would not be chasing it up here, not even with my neighbors money.

To sum up my market position, I am a long term bear on energy and commercial Re stocks. I have not sold any of my SRS, DUG or ERY positions. I refuse.

On the other hand, I will take opportunistic trades in some names, when the voices in my head tell me to buy. Right now, I own CHL, BUCY, FXI, TS and MT, just to name a few.

NOTE: Because my overall bias is bearish, I will keep longs on a very short leash.

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The 10 Blog Commandments

1. Thou shalt not fuck with “The Fly.”

2. If you are not going to update your blog everyday, quit wasting the internets bandwidth and get a fucking diary instead.

3. Be sure to have a modicum of respect for the laws of proper grammar usage.

4. Quit being so fucking boring.

5. Resonate with your target audience, not your own sick, twisted, demented mind.

6. If you operate a small blog, don’t email big blogs asking to “link exchange.” You’re just embarrassing yourself.

7. If you operate a third tier blog (less than 10,000 page views per day), do not bother arguing with superior 1st tier bloggers, for you are irrelevant.

8. Hire an IT guy to design your site. Quit “blogspotting” it.

9. In order to build traffic, be sure to get the attention of larger blogs, so that they will link whore to you.

10. Be original. Quit stealing from people, you fucking faggots.

And so goes The 10 Blog Commandments.

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“The Fly Show”: Episode #2

Original Version

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bSTKx6Vp5g&feature=channel_page 450 300]

iBankCoin Remix Version

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElFHR4qbaa0&feature=channel_page 450 300]

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Get in the Vice

Although you clowns want nothing more than to see “The Fly” lose his coin, amidst an egregious short squeeze. However, I have news for you, assholes, it’s not happening.

Sure, I am losing some dough on SRS, DUG, EEV and ERY; howsoever, it’s also worth noting my gains, good Sir, in CHL, FXI, TS, amongst others— is it not?

Look you, I don’t have to prove or justify shit from buckshots to any of you. Just feel solice in knowing, a 45% short, 20% long and 35% cash position (my model coming into today’s trade), no matter how onerous it may be, is not an asset allocation model that can lead to ruin. Do the math yourselves.

Going forward, my focus is to sell short oil stocks, via DUG and ERY. Also, I will hold onto SRS, in the event of a “fuck you, you’re dead” trading day, following BXP‘s earnings.

Finally, I am very comfortable being long the rabid pandas from China, via CHL and FXI. In addition, dumb ass infrastructure plays may see more upside. There, I like TS, MT and BUCY.

In short, it is nearly impossible to navigate this tape. If you got caught short or “malpositioned,” do not feel bad. Try to focus on what’s in front of you, instead of past mistakes.

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Asshole Tape

CNBC is reporting the Fed will announce a record reduction in their balance sheet today, anywhere between 200-400 billion dollars. In my opinion, this firms up the deflation story and should punch oil, if I may be so bold, in the scrotum.

However, seeing how many banks pole vaulted above resistance levels, I have very little interest in adding to any shorts. As a matter of fact, I have greatly reduced my shorts, specifically in EEV and REW.

As of right now, my largest bear bets are in DUG, ERY and, unfortunately, SRS.

Despite hating the SRS action, I will ride it out.

On the long side, I added to my FXI position and initiated a position in MT. The text book says these gains should hold.

But who knows?

Go ahead, act like you knew this would happen and say “Gee Fly, I am hoping for you to get your mojo back.”

You fucking idiots. Being successful in the market is not about nailing every trade, every day. For me, it is a game of attrition, where I steadily plot my next move, much to the chagrin of others. There will be lost battles and many hits along the way.

However, when it’s all said and done, “The Fly” aka HORATIO CLAWHAMMER wins the war, every fucking time. You can bank on that.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 BUCY @ $17.13

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Fly Buy: FXI, MT

I bought 5,000 FXI @ $25.80.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 MT @ $26.28.

UPDATE II: I sold out of 75% of my EEV position, just under $53.50. I sold out of REW, just under $71.15.

UPDATE III: I bought 10,000 FXI @ $25.85

Disclaimer: If you buy FXI or MT because of this post, you will not benefit from Obama’s 300+ million dollar outlay to fight std’s. And, you may lose money.

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Game Plan For Today

Luckily, I find myself with a large cash position (35%) and newly added longs (CHL, FXI and TS). However, much to my chagrin, I am going into a fucking short squeeze, like a piece of cheese through a grater, with 45% of my capital short the market.

I expect limited losses in my oil shorts, due to a timely XOM downgrade (UBS) this morning. But, my thoughts on oil may change dramatically following the announcement of inventory data, scheduled to be released later on this morning.

My other positions in SRS, EEV and REW will be clown raped.

My choices are simple: sell them and switch to longs and risk timing everything wrong. Or, hang tough on the shorts and utilize existing cash to add more longs.

Depending on the tone of the market, I may just take my lumps on SRS, EEV and REW and move on. Or, the more likely scenario, I will take the cash I have left and position it to make some coin going into today’s close and for the next few days.

One thing is clear: if the market holds today’s gains, we will likely rally for several days, on the back of yet another insane stimulus plan.

It is quite common to see bear market rallies occur in late January. Often times they can last until March. It will be tempting to sell off longs quickly and buy into an FAZ or SKF on the “cheap.” However, remember, C, BAC, WFC, USB and JPM can literally double from yesterday’s closing prices and still not be viewed as “overvalued” by the asset management crowd.

The possible downside for FAZ is in the high 20’s and high 90’s for SKF.

Bottom line: today is not a day to be stubborn. I will try my best to limit the damage and not wallow in the “woulda, coulda, shouldas.” I got caught short, like a midget in the deep end of a pool. Now I must rectify or try to avoid future damage and work to rebuild.

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