Shorts Slightly Castrated in Early Asian Trading

They pedal very fast on their stupid tricycles, while listening to podcasts of the meatball thrower: “The Great Roubini.”

They go to iBankCoin and leave disturbing messages, such as “STFU, NEW LOWS SOON!!!” And they even offer to suck their own cocks, in exchange for meaningless approbation.

They frequent gay bars and make friends with local coin collectors.

These people I speak of reside near the bottom of proverbial trash heaps; and they eat old mashed potatoes for breakfast. They are so fat and gluttonous, their burlap shirts rip through felled seams. When they log onto their bullshit trading accounts or browse the internets, they make clumsy typing errors because their fingers are too fat and stupid.

The monstrous creatures I speak of are being “slightly castrated in early asian trading,” as we speak.

Stay tuned.

I want to give a shot out to a colleague of mine who emphatically said the market would reverse today. Good fucking call.

In true “Fly fashion,” I was correct to hold onto my longs, as sellers exhausted themselves, while peddling real fast on their little tricycles.

By no means are we out of the woods. However, the rally into the close, going into a long weekend, bodes well for the bull camp.

To sum things up: I added to CHL, BUCY, LNN, ACM and even a little ERY. All in all, today sucked for me, since most of my longs closed down, at the same time when big oil reversed up. Fuckers.

Bottom line: We should rally from here.

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Really, I want to know.

Oil is down 70% inside of 6 months and yet assholes are buying XOM, CVX and other oil names. Seriously, this is not a very hard trade to execute: short oil stocks with impunity.

Now, as sure as I am sitting here, on the next rally, oil/gas stocks will catapult higher, but they shouldn’t.

Listen to me you fucking idiots: they industry is ruined. The underlying securities are vastly overvalued and many of them will go all the way to zero, suffocated by egregious debt burdens.

You cannot buy NOV or RIG, thinking “oh shit, oil is gonna go.” That’s not how it works, asshole. These companies have capex budgets. Those such said budgets are being axed, amidst all the panic. Believe you me, oil producers and exploration companies are fucking scared shitless now.

With that being said, I will hold and add to my DUG/ERY positions, until they are much higher.

As for the market:

I bought some EEV; but sold no longs. I am as stubborn as an insolvent bank asking for a bailout.

In other news, my wife just informed me that some asshole backed into her car, at the mall. So, I need to get the fuck out of here, in order to take the car to a fucking collision shop.

Good times.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 CHL @ $46.10 and 2,000 ACM @ $25.45.

UPDATE II: I bought LNN @ $27.41 and BUCY @ $14.85.

UPDATE III: I added to ERY @ $37.25.

Charlie Gasparino is stoking the flames of uncertainty, revealing a “secret meeting” that was hosted at Goldman Sachs, following Geithner’s idiotic speech.

Look, President Obama is conducting himself with disgrace. His lack of readiness and savvy is showing in spades and as a result Wall Street is fearful. Despite strength in select infrastructure plays, for the most part, stocks are in full retreat today, thanks in large part to the lack of leadership at the White House.

Banks and commercial Re are leading the market lower, with oil, essentially, getting a pass.

If you are short and up big, remember to use this sell off to take profits. You don’t have to switch to the long side. However, you should be covering some shorts, in order to raise cash.

If you are long and dying, you should take on some hedges. Personally, I like short oil here, via DUG or ERY. And, select commercial Re stocks, like FRT, ESS, MAC and SLG can be sold short with impunity.

Into this bullshit, I bought some EEV. No real reason, just a hunch.

My downside exposure is not horrific, considering I am nearly 50% short or in cash. Believe me, I am tempted to take all of my cash and get long egregious amounts of SRS and FAZ. But, the voices in my head keep telling me “asshole, go eat a fucking sandwich, ova here.”

No worries, The Blogfather has arrived and he has a bowl of meatballs to throw at you. Do not concern yourself with the art of investing, as it pertains to me. I work in mysterious ways. I throw banana peels in your path.

Much to my chagrin, I have a carton full of Chinese stocks, while the market depreciates under the albatross of stupid. In a broken market, such as this one, there is no escaping capital losses. One might be clever enough to out fox the lowly subhumans for a period of time. However, eventually, losses shall and will be had.

I have a choice to make, which is not an easy one. Either I “stick with my longs,” sort of just ride them out like a carnival geek. Or, I cut them out like a cancerous tumor and restart.

At least temporarily, I misjudged the zeal of the sell off, due to outlier events. Typically, the bull/bear cycles run in short time spans. What we are enduring now is somewhat unprecedented and bewildering to witness.

There is a lot of ironic shit going on right now, at least from my point of view. When I started the business, the Dow broke 7,000 to the upside. Lo and behold, here I am, more than a decade later, and the market is getting ready to break 7,000 on the downside.

How quaint.

Thus far, I have refrained from making any moves.

Past generations were marked by national heroes. Men like Babe Ruth, Lou Gehrig, or the countless World War veterans, conjure up visions of greatness for millions of Americans. I remember when my Grandfather told me stories about the heroes of his generation, which included baseball players, champions of industry, politicians, police officers, actors, family members, neighbors etc.

Conversely, today, we are a viagra driven society, whose only interest is to fuck something or someone, out of coin or innocence.

Our athletes are cheating fabulists. Our politicians are criminals and/or too stupid to lead. Our “titans of industry” resemble the mafia from 50 years ago, minus the honor amongst thieves. Families are fractured, due to asshole parents taking a greater interest in their own vanity, instead of raising a family and leading truthful/admirable lives.

Don’t get me started on today’s actors and actresses. Let’s just say the days of Cary Grant are long gone.

The stock market is a reflection of a failed society.

A society without virtues is one worth blowing the fuck up and starting over.

HOLY SHIT UPDATE:
Entergy (ETR) announces that it was not able to successfully remarket its Senior Notes, Series A due February 17, 2011, which form part of its outstanding 7.625% Equity Units.

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I’m getting the fuck out of here—off to my local dentist, so that he may torture me.

Right or wrong, I am sticking with my present weightings, which is 50% long, 25% short (exclusive in oil) and 25% cash.

Fuck around, those silly bastards from Congress will eliminate mark to market accounting and send this bitch 1,000 points higher. If you notice, the market tends to trade with a bullish or bearish bias for only short periods of time. We get sharp drops, which last for 3-5days, followed by bear market squeezes.

The text book says, barring the country descending into civil unrest, we are due for a fucking rally. I know: “blasphemy.” However, rallies never announce themselves in advance. They sort of sneak up on you, when you least expect it, and blow your brains out, providing you are short.

Top picks: FXI, CHL, MT, BUCY, ACM, LNN YZC with bountiful oil shorts via DUG/ERY.

…so I am told by Dennis Kneale. Something tells me that little fucker was dropped on his head as a child.

Up here in NYC, the weather is Godly. However, much to my chagrin, I must ruin this gift, bestowed by Zeus himself, with a visit to my local dentist. I am sure he will go through great lengths to torture me, via his little hand tools, during my cleaning.

The market is very indecisive today, with only gold and silver stocks holding onto gains. As you know, I changed my mind on gold, at least temporarily, to a somewhat bullish opinion, based upon an obvious flight to quality.

Incidentally, gold is now the #1 ranked sector in The PPT. The top 5 ranked securities in gold are EGO, GG, AUY, KGC and IAG. Personally, I think gold/silver stocks are fucking ridiculous. If I wanted precious metal exposure, I’d just buy GLD or SLV.

As an aside, silver has lagged gold significantly. There might be some sort of arb play setting up between gold and silver. But, the whole gold/silver scene is far too “homofied” for me to get involved.

Basically, partly thanks to the inviting weather outside, I have done nothing, all day long. Early this morning, I had nice gains in BUCY, ACM, MT and JRJC. However, they have withered away to nothing. The only thing that has gained ground for me, all day long, are my oil shorts.

In short, as per the paraphrased words of the great Dennis Kneale, “let their be more bonuses for Wall Street. John Thain is a hero!”

UPDATE: My name is Joe Blow from “Fuck You, You’re Dead Holdings” and I have received $25 billion in TARP funds. My salary is $50 million and I have received $300 million in bonuses.

Good Day