iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,376 Blog Posts

Get Ready to Be Rich

Fuck all of you coffin lovers. Me and my boy Swan are going to make some money soon, on the long side.

Despite this economy being the laughing stock of the world, it’s still not the shitter, like  Russia and Europe, if you know what I mean. Quite simply, the rest of the world is deserving of a few hundred cluster bombs, dropped on their respective domes (you can use that phrase straight up or street slang, whichever you prefer).

While it’s true, President Obama is death to the markets, mainly because he is continuing and accelerating the bullshit policies of Bush. It’s also true that humans like to feel good about themselves, every so often. So, with the warm weather coming in and gas prices nice and cheap, we may be set up here for one fuck of a rally.

Either way, I will not invest more than 50% of my assets on the long side. Nonetheless, into a rally, you might want to bottom fish some cheap stocks, like PCR, ERTS, TTWO, CLF or fuck around with some levered etf’s UYM and TNA.

Believe me, I am tempted to buy 100,000 GE at these levels. However, their finance arm, GE Capital, is a fucking black box. I cannot put money into a black box.

For the most part, I want no part of the banks.

Other dice rolls include, but not exclusive to, UNH, HUM, FWLT, FLR, JNPR, WFR and ATHR.

UPDATE: Denninger is on fucking fire tonight.

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March Madness

It’s that time of year: iBC’s March Madness Contest.

Go sign up now. We will be handing out awards to the winners.

If you recall, no one received an award last year because “The Fly” himself embarrassed you fuckers and won the whole damn thing.

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Raekwon – Staten

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ieDrKJTXI9E 450 300]

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Saved!

This is funny as shit, yet gay, all at the same time.

Longs were saved today, as mysterious buy orders flooded the market into the close. God bless George Bush’s PPT.

I sold out of my ISRG and kept TNA, UYM, JRJC and CY.

Where will the market go next? Who the fuck knows. I’m just glad this fucking asinine week is over.

NOTE: Sometime this weekend, for PPT subs, I will be posting an update on the fucked state of commercial Re. Thus far, my “Reverse Four Horsemen of Certain Death,” FRT, ESS, MAC and SLG have done incredibly well, providing you were short. I have a new list of names worth murdering.

Stay tuned.

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America is Dead

Credit default swaps are blowing out everywhere. Pension funds and variable annuities are blown the fuck up. Life insurance firms are fixing to default. And, finally, our President is as dumb as a bag of rocks.

I thought Bush and his class of clowns were stupid; but Obama and his devious clan of tax cheats steal the show. These men have an agenda and will stop at nothing to apply it, even if it means fucking the market with sand paper bats.

You don’t raise taxes during a depression. These fuckers are committing the exact same errors, that were egregiously committed during the Great Depression.

Believe me, I want to believe in something better than the shit I see each and every day. But, how can I trade, with confidence, on the long side, knowing these assholes are going to raise taxes on dividends in 2009? WTF!

I have a handful of longs: ISRG, JRJC, TNA, UYM and CY. I have one short: REW. And, I am saddled with 70% cash, up 15% year to date. In other words, life is good for “The Fly,” despite these cock suckers trying to take me down.

With GE, GS, MET and MS in the tank, this market cannot rally. God willing, Bush’s PPT can reemerge and jack this fucker up, so that I can sell out of this bullshit TNA.

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Death Spiral

The market gaps up, only to collapse on itself, again. Is it any surprise to see gun stocks, SWHC and RGR, running, while this shit is taking place? People are going ape shit over this market and are on the verge of going Tony Montana on the tax man.

Which reminds me, the IRS will be stepping their “audit game” up, in a very draconian way soon. Enjoy digging up all of those receipts.

Today, GS and MS are receiving multiple homo-hammers to the neck, as well as all commercial re. In hindsight, I should have kept my SRS position and fed this TNA shit to the dogs.

This does not look good for equities. I am beginning to believe that “all hope is lost.” Furthermore, I am starting to believe something really fucked up is about to happen.

To be honest, as opposed to lying out of my teeth, I don’t need this shit. I have nice year to date gains and little skin in the game. I might just clear the deck, go to 100% cash, and eat a sandwich.

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I Miss The Dot Com Era

Once upon a time, I woke up to sunshine in my eyes and an automatic sense to euphoria. I had just turned my life around, from zero to hero in a matter of 3 months, landing some pretty big accounts and benefiting from the seemingly endless rally on Wall Street, thanks to internet stocks.

I was way ahead of everyone else, early to invest, knowing full well the potential power of the internet and how it would affect commerce. I was positioned in all sorts of gems, from BCST to AMER to MSPG to ELNK to BYND to ONSL to GCTY to motherfucking ATHM.

I could not be stopped, only contained.

I was new to the business and had the energy of a fucking coked up monkey, running sideways throughout the streets of Manhattan. I took accounts from 250k to 1 million inside a few months. Times were great and everyone knew it.

Lunch consisted of oversized 2 1/2 inch cowboy cut ribeyes, cooked medium rare, heavily salted, lightly peppered. I had my own office; so naturally we got drunk. After work, we’d just throw money around, buying drinks for everyone, feasting like Kings.

Life was easy back then, at least until the market crashed. Back at the firm, brokers would just hang around, bragging about their market exploits, each story more ridiculous than the prior. Even sales assistants were making 6 figures, due to the impressive production runs coming from the brokers.

Let’s not forget all the times we’d send the lowly coldcallers out on Starbuck runs.

Gleefully, clients would come to the firm, impressed with everything they saw, almost honored to be in the presence of such Godly managers of money, who made them rich.

The market was so bullish and so easy to trade, nearly everyone I knew was invested, even my barber. People would just hang around the television and wait for Joe Kernen (CNBC) to highlight some “hot stocks,” then bid them up into the close. Everyone knew the gains were unsustainable. However, there were so many overzealous internet analysts (Blodget), who helped keep the parade going, people thought the market would go up forever, spearheaded by “the new economy.”

That fucker(Blodget) made me so much money with his AMZN call, I would kiss him, in a very non-gay way, if I ever met him.

I was into buying watches and diamond studded cuff links. Naturally, all of my work attire was tailor made, and my shoes were egregious, always shined.

Those were the days, 10 years to the day, when America was proud of itself and innovation made the market run.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGa52pQ-z4E 450 300]

NOTE: Here is a news article, penned a decade ago, highlighting how much we (Americans) kicked ass.

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