Won’t You Kindly Read This?

There is nothing worse than having a nice lunch, sitting adjacent to some fucking moron who curses like a truck driver, throughout the entire meal. One of the biggest set-backs of living in NY, in my opinion, is having to deal with the unwashed, uncivilized, garbage men and women who populate this filthy city. I just about had enough of NYC and will be moving the family down south, at my earliest convenience.

While down south, I will behave in such a way that I always imagined a southern gentleman should act. I will act super nice to all of my neighbors, as well as strangers. I will even offer fresh glasses of lemonade to anyone who asks me a question. I will grow a large mustache and twist it up real nice and walk around in a white suit, blessed with blue pinstripes. My favorite foods will be smoked and I will enter and win BBQ contests, maybe even a chili contest when I am “really southern.” The truth of the matter is, “The Fly” is sick of the big stupid city. It has too many degenerate perverts in it. I’ll be damned if I raise my daughter around these imbeciles.

In other news, the market is going higher. As you might have noticed, I have a new edge when investing. I only buy stocks that go up now. In the past, I handicapped some of you retards, by losing a little bit. You know, I sort of allowed you to catch up, even the playing field a bit, by picking the occasional loser. However, I’m done with that game and have decided to only buy stocks that go up.Inside of The PPT, I have set ups for days, using our proprietary algorithms to search for breakouts. Just so you know, DMND was selected from my Window Dressing screen, at the very top of the list, indeud. Some other names on that list include WRLD, TTWO, PRAA, PFCB and CSTR.

My top picks, going into the weekend, are the same ones I posted here yesterday. So quit being so fucking lazy and read my prior posts.

A great man once said the following:

“Now is not the time to be scared. Cowardice will get you nowhere.  When in doubt, just do it. If you want to do it, do so with great tenacity and vigor.”

I smell the fear coming off of your burlap winter coat, panicked over “The Santa Claus Rally.” U.S. corporate balance sheets have never been better. As a matter of fact, non-financial firms are saddled with the most cash since 1959, 1.8 trillion dollars. There is no place to put the money. Look at THC and BEC this morning: buyouts. Look at the Carlyle Group: a private equity firm that is notorious for making conservative/solid deals. They are putting money to work.

Is the economy kick-ass?

Absolutely not.

Right now, at this moment in time, it’s all about following the cash horde. With rates so low and bonds posing as a potential credit risk, expect to see dividend, buyback and merger announcements to retain front page status. Going into the New Year, I will be compiling a list of companies, who have underperformed in 2010, that might be worth buying in 2011: classic bottom fishing. In addition to that, I will soon switch my focus away from small cap/hot money names to more traditional/stodgy stocks, in order to lower my beta. I’ve enjoyed my run, a great deal. Instead of playing sniper all the time, considering the fact that dividends, buybacks and mergers will continue into 2011, I really need to start structuring longer term portfolios, instead of taking degenerate swing trades. The truth of the matter is, my true strengths lie in my ability to select thesis trades.

2011 will be the year I get back to that: story stocks and catalyst driven investing.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3OGsqHRjxQ 616 500]

Fuck with me. Play it good and loud.  Understand something: we’re all gonna be “rich as fuck,” as we are in a “CAN’T LOSE” market. I wore extra sharp heels for today’s dance, so you know. However, let me first disarm many of you by stating, Senor Tropicana doesn’t wear high heeled shoes or anything. I just put spikes on the bottom of my soles, when I salsa dance on your face. I am a very good salsa dancer, so you know. Some of today’s winners included DMND, CIEN and TEVA

Good day to you and yours.

Top picks: REXX, EXK, CCJ, CENX, PWER and a little VLNC. Why the fuck not?

I bought 30,000 PWER.

Disclaimer: I dare you to bet against me.

I speak to you from the not-so-distant future. Do not be afraid, for I will not tell you too much in this short blog. I come here, from the future, to tell you that stock prices are higher and that my winship remains intact and flawless. Just in case you were worried, “The Fly” had a terrific final two weeks of 2010, led by gains in some of the positions he talk about now.

Your sideways bets against him will lead to great failures, amongst other things. It’s like you have an infection in your brain, which causes you to bet against a man who zips across the galaxy in a fucking space rocket. What’s wrong with you? Was your Mother a caveman?

In short, relax, kick back, and enjoy the show. The greatest money train to ever present itself to the internet, iBankCoin, is about to cut limbs off. Prepare to be steam rolled, under a 20 tonne carriage.

I added to my EXK position. And, I doubled my position in CCJ.

Throwing in the towel: minute loss.

The holiday’s aren’t gonna be good for all of you. Some of you clown-fuckers held down your accounts through stupidity. Some of you piker brokers get by doing 10 gross and call yourselves “successful.” I have news for you little fish: if you’re not taking down 50k per month, you should just quit the business and become a waiter. Looking at my year to date runs, I can tell you they are bigger than yours. I say this, not to rub it in, but to motivate you. See, while all of the poor folks of the world unite, in an effort to fleece me, I outstrip them via egregious tax shelters and outsized income. Plus, let’s not forget, Obama hooked me up with a nice extension of Bushies tax cuts.

As far as I am concerned, the nations balance sheet is of no concern to me. They fucked it up. Why should I pay the price? It’s a big world out there and if our policy makers are too stupid to figure this shit out, I know a nice place in Australia for sale.

Early going, the dollar is strong and oil is weak. Munis are getting hit again and treasuries are trading down. While it’s true, rising yields ARE GOOD for banks, as their profit margins increase with the spread. It’s also true, it’s happening a little too fast.

Early this morning, I booked profits in DMND and CIEN. With the proceeds, I added to my REXX position and started new ones in CENX, VLNC and TTWO. At the present, my cash position stands at about 35%. Quite frankly, I am having a difficult time finding names to invest in, due to a certain standard that I am forced to uphold. Having said that, I am comfortable trading light into this bond scare, which could result in a panic sell off at any moment.

With regards to REXX: it’s too perfect on paper, with a larger than life short position, 7% interest by Goldman Sachs and rising oil and gas prices. It has “squeeze” written all over it.

Top picks: VLNC, REXX, EXK, CENX, AKS and CCJ

I added to my REXX position and started a new one in TTWO and VLNC.

Disclaimer: If you buy these stocks because of this post, the next time you visit a farm a stray peacock will attack you. And, you may lose money.

I sold out of both CIEN and DMND.

“you’re gonna love my nuts.”