Earnings Season is Very, Dare I Say, Dramatic

Dollar tankage. Like the sweet set up in LIOX yesterday, I have 10 more stocks readying to break the fuck out. I don’t need the damn stock market to rise when I have unique and overtly special situations, might I add. Whatever weakness you may think is set to occur, thanks to a GS or an AXP miss, it will be short lived. As a matter of fact, I declare this market is unbreakable.

I relish the day when stocks fall more than 5% in a given week, so that I may buy them all and put said certificates into my vault for safe keeping. At the top of my list is degenerate small cap stocks, low in price and in honor. I have 12 stocks on my “Immediate Buy List”, saved in The PPT (subscribers go find it). I intend to cherry pick from this list, in order to fulfill my craving to gamble, in the most heinous of ways.

As always, earnings season is filled with remote detonations, effectively fucking up noobs in the process. I make it a point to avoid potential pitfalls. But frankly, if you own equities in size, it is inevitable. So if you find yourself this morning, CREE-mated, don’t lament over it like a little bitch. Just chalk up an “L” and accept the fact that it’s part of the game.

Top pick: PH

I just got back from the worst haircut experience of my life, where this stupid bitch cut into my head as if I was a block of ham. I refrained, exhibiting great discipline, from making a scene, due to the presence of my children. Plus anyway, gentlemen do not bring negative attention to themselves, especially amongst the working class. She dug here comb into my scalp with great force and then cut my hair in such a way, one would surmise she was an escaped lunatic from my local asylum. Tonight I will pray for her quick extinction from this planet, vis a vis car bomb or some other form of egregious and untimely death. Trust me when I tell you, she is well deserving of execution.

As you could imagine, my mood has soured a great deal since my last post, so I will keep this simple and to the point.

AAPL and IBM beat numbers. The locomotive of “better than expected” is rolling downhill now, cutting off the arms and legs of those who get in its way. Dare I say, and I mean this with all of my black heart, this is the easiest tape to trade I have ever seen. Skip over the hard earnings plays, like CREE, and you have a printing press at your disposal.

I just framed my year end statement, highlighting my 875% (I started off the year with a little more than I originally thought. Hence, no 1,000%) return for last year. So you know, that was accomplished using only the algorithms and tools inside of The PPT, for personal use only. My clients endured the horrors of 60% gains, much to their delight. Thus far in 2011, my personal account is up just 2%, while managed accounts are up north of 3%. I am going with a blend of large cap industrials, tech and commodities. However, truth be told, my ideas change on a daily basis.

As time goes on, I realize I am wasting my talents by managing less than others, and jerking around on the internet, like a clown, for the amusement of others. I will never sell iBankCoin, mainly because it is mine and I do not need the money. So, essentially, I am imprisoned here, for an undetermined amount of time. Truth be told, all kidding aside, it is my passion to help others invest their money wisely. Within the next 6-9 month, we will be releasing PPT 2.0 (finally) with numerous additions that should bring it to the next level, in so many ways. And, if motivated, I would love to add another blogger to the mix, one who isn’t looking for handouts or get rich quick schemes. Remember, unlike other degenerate/disgusting blogs out there, authored by hucksters, we are gentlemen of the 3rd degree here at iBC. Never forget that.

I bet you motherllamas thought we were going down today. Little did you know, “The Perfect Storm” was designed for you, in order to fleece you from all of your coin. Now that you are removed from your currency, “The Fly” swims in it, like some sort of lunatic cartoon duck.

So far, I’m up 1.28% intra-day, led by gains in TEX, PH, OXY, NILE and PWER. My position is one of perfection, tweaked by the finest hand in asset management. The basic structure of my portfolio is built to last for an eternity, AND MORE. The bottom line, as some under the influence of large quantities of cocaine like to say, you are outmatched and should retire from the business of managing money. Moreover, I find it to be reprehensible that you blog, so quit doing that too.

On a side note, I’m sitting here waiting for several of my stocks to launch, like rocket ships into space. Names like BORN, SFLY and FORM are fucking with your brains, feigning weakness in a strong tape. Go ahead and short them, see where it gets you.

BEHOLD and REJOICE for the ghouls, bears and sea urchins are being eliminated from the equation, as we speak. I will do my part, as always, to “correct” their rudeness and teach them what they need to be taught (no, I am not legally insane).

I started a position in LIOX, just under $4. And, I added to SFLY.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, both AAPL and IBM will miss earnings, in horrendous fashion. And, you may lose money.

Yes, indeud, let the cliches fly. Not only is AAPL getting tea bagged today; but so it C. The big dumb bank missed earnings, mainly because their management staff are dumb dick-suckers. Ahead of AAPL’s and IBM’s earnings, the market is set to decline, amidst a flurry of mass carnage and confusion, produced on an industrial scale, pleasing those who jerk off at burials aka “bearshitters.”

It is unfortunate that I must sled downhill today, being fully invested without checks and most certainly without balances.

On a side note, I can’t help but wish a speedy recovery for Steve Jobs. I know it’s uncharacteristic of me to wish anyone well, let alone some jackass CEO. But Mr. Jobs has greatly helped improve the quality of my life through his products. AAPL has literally changed my life, as well as the lives of many of you goat milkers.

Into today’s tape, I find myself standing on a small raft, in the middle of the ocean, pissing into the oncoming waves.

Steve Jobs, CEO of AAPL, is taking a medical leave of absence, most likely due to cancer. We all die, even superstar CEO’s whose innovation changed the world. It’s just part of life–dying.

AAPL did not just invent cool stuff. They took the electronics market back from the Japanese, brought it back to America, and became a status symbol in the process.

Without a doubt, the absence of Jobs will be a negative for the company. However, AAPL‘s footprint is so big now, I dare say they will thrive with or without him. It’s not just a fucking computer company anymore, jackasses. And they are not simply selling ipods. The company has established themselves as the premier and dominant electronics manufacturer in the world. Any significant dips should and will be bought.

Let’s see if these guys are as dumb as the tag suggests.

NOTE: Just in case you didn’t know, we launched PDS 2.0, ever so quietly, a short while ago.

I always found it rather humorous that all of you piker finance bloggers out there, who concoct Top Finance Blog lists, always exclude iBC, as if we were some sort of pariah. You list even the most pathetic sites, as if to poke your fingers in my eyes. Well, a great man once said, “if it isn’t being done correctly, do it yourself.”

iBankCoin has their own list.

NOTE: If some names are missing, that’s because their owner is a dick and chose not to provide us with traffic stats. If you feel you were wrongly excluded, leave a comment and Chess will get back to you.

I can’t stand these Chinese lotto stocks, yet I buy them regularly.  It seems on a daily basis hack websites use their megaphones to talk shit and drop the share prices of small cap Chinese stocks. In my book, that’s called stock manipulation and slander. However, the SEC is too busy chasing down penny stock promoters, than to waste any of their “valuable resources” to check out these outrageous stories being purported. With that in mind, any publicly traded company doing business in China is subject to immediate sale, if the wind blows the other way, so to say. Yesterday I had a nice profit on KNDI. Today I sold it at a loss.

Aside from selling KNDI, I sold out of IMAX today and added to BORN, FORM and NILE.

NILE looks fucking poised to rip tits to the upside. Prepare for that eventuality.

With regards to FORM: they have $8+ in net cash and are rebuilding their business, after losing a large client. With INTC‘s cap equipment budget bulging at the seams, I like my chances with FORM, as a turn around play, supported by an over-abundance of cash.

Into the bell, I am 90% long, with zero hedges and zero fear.

I sold out of KNDI and bought more BORN.

Happy New Years and a Merry Robster!

I bought NILE for the squeeze.

Disclaimer: If you buy NILE because of this post, your neighbors will accuse you of being in possession of “blood diamonds.” And, you may lose money.