Believe it or not, I was socializing at a nearby Dunkin’ Donuts last night, talking to a man, who I assume was homeless. He was decked out in a NY Jets jersey, blue jeans and some sort of furry hat. As I waited for my coffee, I noticed he was checking out stocks on his fucked up, old, blackberry device. He was rifling through names with great vigor, so I asked him: “hey, how’s the market treating you?” Much to my surprise, he was in all of the hot names. He even knew about the accounting irregularities of select Chinese stocks.
As I walked out of that disgusting store, I felt a sense of pride. After all, if homeless men are making money in the market, well then, even an idiot can do it. If an idiot can do it, which is synonymous with being homeless, then this economy is about to rip to the upside. Do you like how I just take giant illogical leaps, based upon specious anecdotal evidence? That’s what I do, pal. Live with it.
Lo and behold, today’s jobless claims were MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED this morning. Looky here, I could have predicted “suchness,” using my homeless man with common stock portfolio thesis.
Looking over my portfolio, I see PH and MOTR are trading down in pre-market trading. For some oddball reason, asshats are selling MOTR, based upon the FFIV news. Idiots, you are selling apples because the donuts are stale. MOTR is a buy. And PH reported MUCH BETTER THAN EXPECTED earnings this morning. And, they guided up for 2011. Look for the company to earn close to $6.00 per share in 2011. Motherfucker, PH is cheap. It’s a buy too.
The bottom line: prepare to be squeezed out of your shorts by homeless guys on margin, who view the market from lawn chairs.
As for me, I will be taking it easy today, just sort of waiting around for something cool to happen.
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