Trade Like a Moron

I want to make something perfectly clear, right now. I am trading like a fucking drone. I do not let my emotions get in the way of a little “idiot tape” trading action. If you are in the business, you know the dumbest guys (ghetto fabulous) make the most money during crazy runs. Naturally, they eventually blow themselves up on margin and have to start over again. But, for that small window of market bliss, they are fucking stock Gods. They are idiots because they do not know better. They take the craziest risks because they are brain dead and do not have fear.

Well, I have completely and entirely cast aside the emotion of fear, so that I too can trade like a fucking imbecile, with great success and splendour [sic]. I am magnitudes smarter than 99.9% of all of you. If I can do it, so can you. It’s the thinking, the fucking second guessing, that refrains people from swinging their balls around freely. You need to understand where I am coming from. I swing in and out of large cash positions to placate my inner brain. I know there are risks associated with dropping millions into stocks that are already up huge. Had I taken the time to worry about it, I’d be sucking wind right now, just like some of you trash collectors. Another big mistake some of you make is buying ancillary names, hoping to find value. Instead of waiting around for something wonderful to happen, take the bull by the horns and smash it into a fucking wall. Using that mindset, I am heavily long AGU and MOS.

Enough of the preachy bullshit. I have business to attend to. Oh, by the way, remind me to tell you what happened to me at the supermarket this weekend, waiting in line behind this mentally ill bitch.

Top picks: ATPG, AGU, BRNC, MOS

NOTE: Introducing iBC newest tabbed blogger, Analyst Bomber

Progressing with my plan to “SPEND ALL AVAILABLE CASH,” I bought 10,000 AGU and a little BRNC.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 ATPG

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post, your house will become haunted by idiot ghosts. And, you may lose money.

Fuck your vest. Today’s bullet is heading straight for your head. As that happens, “The Fly” will be burning his incense, making sacrifices to the stock Gods—things of that nature. You know, your regular run of the mill shit. Cold callers will be slapped in the face, profusely, with boiling hot slices of pizza. No matter how hot the pizza is served, it can always be hotter. I like my pizza to resemble a fucking volcano.

Ahead of the planting season, farmers will be returning to full applications of potash fertilizer, in order to maximize yields. Think about it. If you were a dumbass farmer, and shit, you’d be halfway retarded if you didn’t take advantage of these lofty grain levels. Based upon that assumption, I like POT, CF, SQM and MOS. There are ancillary plays worth a look. However, sometimes it makes sense to go with the obvious, instead of trying to get all cute and shit.

Stay focused here. I don’t want you to wander off, fucking around with goats. There is a lot of money to be made here. You just need to believe. Like organized religion, more specifically the immature innocence of believing in magical creators, to be invested (both mentally and physically) in this market, you need to have faith. Faith in the oddity and the surreal. Your text books mean nothing here, Sir, as we are writing new ones from scratch. The relationship between people and money is a very important one. Your happiness, in more ways than you could imagine, depends on it. Having said that, why the fuck would you visit any other website, other than iBankCoin? My competition can’t hold a candle to me, let alone shine my shoes. Those fuckers aren’t worth the marinara off my bread.

I mentioned this earlier today. I wanted to follow up. Inside of my Raw Commodity Index, I track everything possible, via ETF’s. From lead to tin to fucking cattle, it’s represented by this index. Now go ahead and take a looksy at the chart and tell me where it says “top.”

Disclosure: Fuck you and your charts.

Double Disclosure: MOS has $10 bucks in upside, near term.

Well, January is in the books and it looks like I made 1.5% for managed accounts and 4% for my personal/psychopath account. So you know, my other long term accounts are manged identically to managed. All in all, January was a disappointment for me. But, it could have been worse. The market churned a lot, scaring the shit out of people in the process. Volatility re-emerged, taking numerous momentum stocks to the woodshed.

My muted gains can be blamed on my MOTR-boat expedition. But, I am not one to complain.

Going into February, I am positioned to take advantage of the inflation trade. Seasonally, February is a good month to be long oil, gold and ag. Let’s see if history repeats itself.

Closing out the day, I held a 20% cash position.

I bought 10,000 MOS, based upon the laws of magic.

Disclaimer: If you buy MOS because of this post, small trolls will kill you while you sleep. And, you may lose money.

People sold short NFLX at $30, as it hit new highs. The stock defied gravity and proceeded to pass $40, $50, $60, $70, all the way to $215. People shorted it, and got “retard boxed,” all the way up. For some reason, they thought it couldn’t go higher. They used astrology, charts and anecdotal evidence to support their flawed reasoning. However, all they should have looked at is price action.

Inside of The PPT, I set up a Raw Commodity Index, in order to track commodities (duh). Despite the pullback in gold/silver (oh, the carnage), it’s at all time highs. Whether it be oil, cotton or sugar, commodities are on the rise. Now, if I said it was going to top everyday, eventually, I’d be right. But the fact remains, there is a global movement here, pushing commodity prices higher. Every single BBQing of my accounts was due to trying to time tops. In order to pull it off, you need to be insane and very, very lucky.

Oil is pressing higher here. If there was ever an excuse to kill shorts, stuck inside oil stocks, it is now. Because of this relationship between destiny and the bears, I’ve positioned heavily in several small commodity names. It’s very possible that the trend will reverse and I might get stopped out of my positions. However, it won’t happen because I was defying the laws of The Clam.

Ask yourself a question: am I defying the laws of the Bearded Clam (Ben Bernanke)?

Top picks: EXK, GTE, KEG

As you can see, Ben Bernanke has seized control of Washington D.C. and has enacted a policy of perpetual stock market increases, whilst encouraging rapid commodity inflation in order to overthrow rogue regimes, worldwide. This plan is working wonders in the middle east today, as their stock markets melt-the-fuck-down and their governments crumble, under the weight of expensive bags of rice.

Back home, here in the U.S., cowards with small dicks sell short stocks and/or buy leveraged ETF’s that go lower, all the time. They claim to have timed the top, yet again. But, there is no such thing, especially since Ben Bernanake removed the ceilings.

With my money, I am concentrated inside of a few positions, namely BORN, EXK, KEG, GTE and AMKR. I intend to allocate some of my cash today, but not just yet. In the big scheme of things, there is no rush. Money will be made, all in good order. The important aspect of the winning process is to savor it, drink it slowly. Your enemies will run around like jackals in the night; but they are stupid and do not have GPS tracking devices.

Young plebs, volatility is collapsing and your name will be remembered, etched in granite, blood removed and limbs dispersed to the darkest corners of the earth.

Fuck Egypt. That’s all I have to say about the topic. I don’t care about their problems or lack of freedoms. Get in the way of the Suez Canal and I would like to see them conquered, Roman style. Enough about conquered peoples. I have important shit to talk about.

#1

iBC is happy to introduce two new tabbed bloggers: Mr. Caine Thaler and Analyst Bomber aka AB aka Robert (from PPT). Caine is a no brainer, as he is the grand supreme champion of the Peanut Gallery, winning the title numerous times and he is a gentleman. Analyst Bomber will rip the spines out of the sell side analyst community; because that’s what he does. I am happy to bring these two gentlemen on board, especially so that they may bowl on my competition a little bit more.

#2

I got to buy stocks. I already did the silver shit on Friday, via EXK. But with 30% cash and the markets selling off due to cavemen burning down their huts, I sense this decline is a laughable buying opportunity. Needless to day, I will be dip buying tomorrow. Ultimately, we’re all playing stupid games here, trying to outfox one another. You motherfuckers are all cautious and shit, like little bitches in a haunted house. Well, BOO, ’cause I intend to step down on the pedal tomorrow, leaving tire marks on the faces of those who bet against me.

I once knew an Egyptian stock broker. His favorite line, with regards to his clients, “I simply transfer the money from my clients account into my checking. Very nice. Very clean.” In general, Egyptians are reprehensible people. I wish Ra would smite them already, or Poseidon drown them with fists filled with oceans.

Oh, by the way, all of you fuckers calling for a decline, this shit doesn’t count. Exogenous events take people by surprise and cannot be predicted, unless of course your name is George Bush. That fucker knows about everything, well in advance. Truth be told, I folded in the face of crazy pyramid builders today. As a nation of slaves go bananas on the teevee, I fear it could spread to other slave nations. As a result, there is a distinct possibility that this event can be the tipping point or excuse to trade lower. Hence, I am 40% cash and loaded to the gills in EXK and several other oil/gas plays.

Do I still think we go to 14,000?

Um, fuck yes. I never said it would happen this week.

How do I intend to protect assets?

Via gold, oil and cash.

All in all, I did well today, with monster gains in AGQ, EXK and decent shit in BORN, GTE and KEG. I sold out of a lot of good stocks; but I couldn’t care less. They are nothing more, or less, than numbers represented by letters. As my investment career progresses, I am fully aware of my strengths and weaknesses. New readers may think “The Fly” is some crazy eyed bull. You would be absolutely false, if you chose to believe that. I am a knife twister and an opportunist. I thrive when cities are aflame. I enjoy to see markets fall 10% inside a few minutes.

On iBC, there is no real bias, just opportunity. Bank coin or go home crying.

NOTE: Watch more Egyptian bullshit here (live news feed).