18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Over the past 5 weeks, the market has simply drifted higher. Most stocks have gone up; but some have, stubbornly, lagged–like a child walking slow amidst frenzied adults. Nevertheless, “The Fly” is here to expose these children and properly scold them for being so slow. Dare I say, these little rascals are the next ones to go?
Social Media Sector and Subsequent 1 month Returns
SALE -22%
TWTR -19%
TRIP -18%
AWAY -10%
FB -8%
YY -8%
NFLX -7%
P -2%
YELP -1.5%
Ladies and gents, you may simply purchase this entire basket of securities and forget about it. We are in a bulled up market and the short sellers are weak, very weak, like women at the gym. These short sellers do not belong to live amongst men of industry and speculation. They belong in the sewers, with the rats and the cheese.
Despite having an IQ higher than 99% of the known world, if you pick a stock that trades down over the next month, you will be considered a complete idiot. Moreover, if you just started investing and pick a stock that trades up by 20% over the next month, you are better than Carl Icahn. After all, Carl has been losing some money on HLF these days, no?
Remember last year when Bill “Mars Attacks” Ack Ack Ackman was utterly retarded long JCP and short HLF? Or, how about David Einhorn and his boneheaded short sales in CMG, GMCR and ATHN?
My favorite is that scoundrel, Martha Stewart. Do you recall what she went for jail for?
The conversation went something like this:
Broker: Hello Martha, long time no speak.
Martha: Hurry up, asshole, I have an empire to maintain.
Broker: Anyways, in between doing my TPS reports, ummkayy, I overheard that Imclone was gonna do really bad soon.
Martha: Get to the point. What do you want from me?
Broker: Umm, I think we should sell it.
Martha: Okay, sell it, goodbye.
For that she got a few years in lesbian prison.
You are familiar with the Gilded Age and how money was made back then, right? We all revere men like Jay Gould and Vanderbilt for amassing fortunes. But did you know it was 100% legal to be CEO of a company and short your own stock? People like Gould made millions by simply hurting their own companies and selling short ahead of that hurt. He’d threaten companies relying on his railroad, short their stock, then repair the relations and make money on the upside.
Today, if you are caught buying 10 contracts on a takeover play for a tip you received at a dinner party, you’re going to ass rape prison for 10 years.
Where’s the justice in that, I beg of your pardon?
It’s too late to run away. If you are short the market, there is a better than average chance that you will soon be devoured whole by the Turkey Gods. No one in their right mind sells the market short ahead of National Feast. So in a way, your demise is a convenient exercise in Darwinism, weeding out the chaff from the wheat (extra Bible).
Listen here lads: you are living through the best bull market the world has ever seen. That’s right: you, my friend, are an imbecile of the first order for missing out on it. Now, let’s not get carried away and start calling each other names. I only meant to scold you so that you wouldn’t get scalded later.
Alas,’tis been a hard year for ordinary speculators, such as ourselves. The tape has been wrought with danger and cataclysmic downside action. If you weren’t careful about the shares you’ve invested in, you could’ve easily Bill Cosby’d yourself into an untenable position. Luckily for us, there is the community called iBankCoin. Which reminds me, go pick up your WSS report this week, penned by Raul. Unlike the other services, you can simply buy this a la carte.
Where was I? Ah, yes, the importance of community and how it might help you become a better investor.
For one, you can quit haranguing me about the virtues of selling short this market and get to buying something, anything God damn it. Next, when you’re ready to step your game up, join OA, RC, me and hundreds of serious traders inside 12631. Yes, I am plugging our services. Why wouldn’t I?
In summary, the Turkey Gods are here and they are going to peck away at your skulls and eat your brains, douse your body with gravy (no homo) and roast you until your eyes pop out.
Bored of the usual suspects, I went out hunting for new names, preferably of the small capped genre. When buying small cap, beta is expected to be high, as their business models move rapidly with the economic winds. I came across a little company, whose stock price has outperformed, thanks to 20%+ revenue growth and eps expansion.
The company has over $85 million in cash, with a market cap of just 550 million.
They’re positioned to compete with the likes of Sonos, for high fidelity audio solutions, via their Play-fi platform. They’ve signed up speaker makers Polk and some other bozo company, and are actively seeking new partners. On the blu-ray side, they have all the video game makers signed up and have enjoyed respectable 10%+ revenue growth thanks to the burgeoning success of the PS4. Very soon, their Headphone X technology will be unleashed on the public, offering “full surround” sound, which can be licensed out to any headphone maker. Currently, Turtle Beach licenses it, ticker HEAR.
Anecdotally speaking, I am always annoyed when I pair my iPhone with my wireless speaker–because I am only permitted to pair one at a time. Part of the lure with Sonos is that you can pair multiple speakers all at once and play your favorite Rick Ross tunes in multiple places, all at once. The same can be done with Play-fi.
But that’s not the reason why you want to own the stock.
Right now they have all of the major television manufacturers signed up, licensing their audio technology. But, as you know, teevee sales have bee sluggish. That is about to change, son, with the advent of the 4k teevee. Very soon, people will be knifing one another to get a brand new 4k television, so that they could merrily watch their fools-ball game with their drunkard friends. When that happens, growth will explode and this little company I am giving to you will undergo a mini renaissance amongst momentum investors.
As you read this, only 1 teevee maker, LG, has licensed their audio technology for 4k televisions. However, given that all HD teevee makers license from them now, it’s fair to assume they will be signing up more shortly.
Most of the catalysts for the company will happen in the 2nd half of 2015. They are also tethered to unit sales this holiday season for their Play-fi partners and will likely use their available cash for further stock buybacks.
Today was supposed to be a celebration, an affirmation that everything was okay. Instead, we got this milquetoast drab, this transvestite of a woman — a fraud. I didn’t sell anything and I am up almost 1% for the session. However, judging by the trend, my gains will soon drift away into the ether of perfidy, a scandalous way to star the weekend, indeud.
Nonetheless, next week belongs to the domain of the Turkey Gods. Feel free to throw all of the sell orders you can muster. But it will do you no good. The Turkey Gods have resolved to move this market higher, and feast upon the buzzards of nature.
“What’s for dinner, honey?”
“Buzzard.”
Finally, I am elated to see HABT get smashed to pieces today. I was up a quick 6 on a very small position. I intend to add to the position, little by little, each month for the next twelve months. Moreover, I intend to take a road trip out to their single east coast locale this weekend, to do a little taste testing, all for the sake of investing, of course.
I own BID in my retirement accounts and for my kids, as well for clients. It’s one of those stocks that I will never sell, due to my belief that the upper 1% amongst us will always throw money into collectibles. I also realize that art is in a giant fucking bubble, with paintings selling for $200 million at a clip. Nevertheless, I think BID has significant upside here.
Last night the CEO resigned. This is a big deal because Dan Loeb from Third Point has been haranguing the company for a sale. Much to his chagrin, the former CEO told him to fuck off and to go feed his gay giraffes. But with him gone now, I suspect all of the asshole hedge fund managers that you love to hate will put BID in play again.
Why?
It’s the same reason why Bill Ack Ack Ackman bought a $90 million apartment in NYC to just sit on it. Rich people love Sotheby’s and Christie’s auctions. To own the premier auction house in the world is the ultimate status symbol. It basically sinks your 550 ft yacht and shits on your mega-mansion in the Hamptons.
Aside from that, I like the market here, especially the shippers. Other stocks worth note are copper and steel, both surging thanks to China.
Actionable ideas here include BALT, AKS, CMI, LITB and BTU.
I woke up to boolish comments by Draghi. I saw European indexes were flying off the handle, then China surprised everyone with a 40 bps cut. Now, I don’t want to count the chickens before they’re hatched or put the carriage in front of the horse. However, according to my stock market playbook, this is outrageously bullish news for stocks and should, might I add, usher in a new era of heinous executions inside of the bearish ghettos of StockTwits.
The trade is simple: buy commodities (copper, oil), shippers and BABA. You laugh now; but this is the sort of action that changes everything. If China is hellbent on reflation, God damn it, reflation they will have.
Quite frankly, I find there to be a certain romantic notion to this here rate cut, ahead do America’s national feast. Very shortly, we will be devouring large birds and yams, tossing biscuits around the dinner table, all the while our Chinese friends from the orient do the heavy lifting for us.
Like I said earlier, I don’t want to pop the champagne corks into your face just yet. I will reserve that for the closing bell. Nonetheless, it’s worth noting the stalwart action in Europe, coupled with our gap up in futures. Unless we are bedeviled by some ‘sell the news’ chicanery, you are in for a real treat today.
My book is diverse, even though I mainly talk about a handful of stocks. I own upwards of 35 stocks and should track the NASDAQ well today, unless of course GPRO drops another 7.
In summary, I believe the Dry Bulk shippers will repeat what they did in December of 2013, which is melt the fuck higher. I am bearish, mind you, on gold–because it is stupid. And I believe copper and oil will find buyers here. In the oil patch (such a stupid fucking phrase), I am long SLCA, DVN, COP and CHK.
