Saturday Cinema with Le Fly: Blue Jasmine

I know this is a controversial place to start examining Woody Allen’s work. After all, movies like Manhattan and Annie Hall are revered by movie critics and popped corn stuffers alike. For the record, I thought Manhattan was dull, boring and also moribund.

Truth is, Woody Allen is probably my favorite director of all time, considering his body of work. I’ve seen just about every movie he’s ever made and have enjoyed 95% of them.

Blue Jasmine is a tale regarding a woman who had it all, married to a very successful hedge fund manager, and then lost it all. She then attempts to adjust to her new life, without money, and hilarity ensues. Cate Blanchett won an oscar for leading female in this film; and I cannot remember a more memorable performance from any woman, in any movie, ever.

Large capped stocks led the way this week, sans chips, paving a path for extreme ignorance and hedonism amongst the investor class. There is an obvious Tale of Two cities taking place here, one from the canaille Third Estate being fribbled away by corporate overlords like Wal-Mart. And then there is the well-to-do folk, gentlemen of extreme sport and measure, gallivanting about life via boat and ghost automobiles–trading from their harems.

Since the beginning of time, the people with money have controlled the power and influence over things. As much as you road slobs scream at me with your cheesed doodled mouths, I will not listen. As a matter of fact, I’d run you over with my 2006 Impala, if given the chance and properly inebriated.

Life is about cycles and people. The people are the most important part of defining the cycles. Right now the people are fucking rich. Prepare for more gains and new highs.

Good day gents.

Note: Exodus launches Sunday. If you want to see what The PPT looked like, join before we launch because it will become Exodus and effectively wash away in the sands of time.

“Analysts don’t like it, I do. The break up value is higher.”– Some fucktard who ended up ratting on a Wall Street legend

This was circulating inside of the hallowed halls of The PPT yesterday and I posted it on Twitter this morning.

When I said The PPT, soon to be called Exodus, was a sublime harmony of mathematical precision (SHOMP), I was not fucking with you.

This is a strong tape, but not a runaway varietal. Breadth is okay, nothing great. Big earnings breakouts, coupled with a steady and consistent uptick in prices has resulted in many, many bears being boiled alive, ever so slowly.

I do not want to fade this rally. And, moreover, I shall NOT go away in May.

The good folks at iBC beseech you to see this thing through. We are on the verge of a great melt up, which should cause a terrible cacophony in the camps of those waiting for lower prices. The longer you wait, the more expensive your watch list gets.

Grab your balls and get in.

All Chinese stocks are subject to accounting irregularities. They’re a barbaric people, one that savagely lie and cheat to steal western money. Always know that, before delving in headlong, into the fucking pool that has fake water atop its concrete surface.

Oil and gas stocks are mostly fucked for at least 6 months. Rig counts have plunged and any company that services bozos drilling in the dirt are in for a very rude awakening this summer.

Under Obama, the FDA has been very lenient to biotech companies, which has led to gorilla sized runs in many of those stocks. However, every so often, biotech goes wrong, as is the case with AERI today. If you’re gonna overweight the industry, have some decorum when you do it, like me with JAZZ. Those motherfuckers will earn ttttttt-ten dorrars this year. The war on sleep is real.

If your company isn’t netting 10% of revenues to their bottom line, no one gives a shit about them. Sell the spec; buy what’s real.

And now I come to my last point: STOP BETTING AGAINST THE GUY IN THE TIME MACHINE! Last year was an anomaly for the ages, one when the sun, moon and the stars lined up perfectly against me. These conditions will not repeat for another thousand years. “The Fly” reigns supreme, dominant over you pencil pushing booze hounds. I can say this with confidence, deep from within my echo chamber that reverberates truths and gangster rap music, rattling the whole damned room–separating the sheetrock from the studs.

I don’t need macro or micro data to make me boolish. I was born in the year of the Dragon– with a fire burning in my stomach that cannot be extinguished. When I make up my mind, there is no turning back.

It looks like we’re gonna launch Exodus to the masses this sunday, providing all of you reading class folk with a discernible edge for next week’s trade. The PPT will become Exodus; hence an Exodus of sorts from old to new. With new, I intend to greatly improve upon the offering and customer service.

Listen here, fool, the good people at iBankCoin are in the beginning stages of planning a NYC conference, hosted by none other than The Option Addict. Naturally, I will be there, lurking from the shadows, anonymously. I will try to retain some NYC talent to speak too. VIP event is a must, in order to make it worthwhile. So, take the poll and pass it along to your little friends.

With today’s gains, I am now up 20% for the year, just about 7x what the bitch ass SPY is showing thus far. The year of “The Fly” is upon you. Hide the kids; no one is safe.

Yeah, JNS crushed estimates and Bill is outperforming ALL bond managers by 1.5%. B. “Fucking” Gross is back to his ole “give me all the bond money” outperformance, defecating on all of his peers, especially the bustas at PIMCO.

My top 3 positions are SAVE, JNS and AGIO. I’m waiting on AGIO to release their cure for cancer (maniacal laugh) and for my generic plane to take off.

I got lots of shit, like EBAY and PANW, straight gunning fuckers down. Pardon my use of a most profane vocabulary. It was never my intention to be one for all. Instead, I am all for one. “The Fly” hates most people, eager to lay waste to their foundations–while spilling his hot hot coffee, slowwwly, over their stupid heads.

Yes, I told you what the market was going to do, to the exact date.

It gets boring winning at such an incredible clip. I showed you Exodus and you saw screener. I showed you a Taylor masterpiece and you saw nothing but paint and canvass. I’m on a higher plane of thinking, the metaphysical, not hamstrung by traditional self-worth assessments.

Listen to me: I want you to doubt me and bet against me. My whole life the chips have been stacked against me and guess what? I am fucking bowling on you clown fuckers till the dogs strip that bone down to the marrow. Dick riders in the pop-media can fuck off; I’ve built a financial hegemony at iBankCoin, fully armed to take you out, if that’s what needs to be done.

My words sting because they’re truths, empirical facts about life and people that are only recognized by the uninitiated when they are punched into your stupid face.

I hereby interrupt your trading day to bring you news: the NASDAQS are down. I repeat: the fucking NASDAQS are down.

At first, I thought my eyes were deceiving me. Then I pulled up my quote matrix and portfolios and saw red. Right now I am down 0.27%, if you could believe it. This assault upon the good investing public cannot and will not be permitted to continue. We must strike back and drive those ghouls back into their family crypts. If we don’t, well then, it’s entirely possible for the market to correct.

I cannot believe I just said it, lads; but there it is.

“The Fly” is a man of unvarnished truths, a person of ancient bloodlines whose sole purpose is to actively pursue happiness through grotesque stocked market gains. By extension, you, the “reader class”, can partake in a little winship of your own, by merely bending the knee to my god given authorities.

I find no need to dig deep into the market internals. ANGI and YELP are strong and not much is making sense right now. It’s madness out there. Let’s hope that cooler heads prevail and push back against these barbarous squeeze crabs, as any gentleman interested in preserving his/her honour would.

I just wanted to share this, okay? My local wine guy is always drunk, offering customers glasses of wine as they walk in. It’s like a giant fucking party, attended by a bunch of fucking idiots who can’t hold their grape. This guy is notorious for selling me bad wine. Sometimes I think he does it on purpose, just to injure me. The other day I was going to buy one of my favorite brands, Caymus, which usually retails for about $70-$150, depending on the vintage. This guy, incredulously, talked me out of it, saying “Caymus is terrible, especially the 2012. Here take this instead.”

Me, being a creature (No Lagoon) of suggestion, I took his advice and bought his alternative $70 wine. The result was good. However, it wasn’t as good as Caymus. Who the fuck doesn’t like Caymus? I mean, really? I did manage to shame his palette and mock him for the duration of my visit.

Futures are higher this morning and MCD is leading the charge. Apparently, their new rat sandwich is all the rage in Bangalore. The denizens of that cesspool have been eating rat since the beginning of civilization. I am sure MCD can sell them some and bank a profit, no? That’s the problem with MCD: they’re too nice of an evil corporation. If I was selling meat at MCD, I’d sell all sorts of meat, in all sorts of fucked up places in the world. Hell, you could probably sell human burgers in Shanghai.

Look you, enough of the blogging and the reading. “The Fly” is busy.

Ciao

First, I’d like to say the broader indices do not represent how easy its been to make money, long markets. Reason being, China is up more than 20% and every single major index in the world is outperforming the US. For those of us who opt for a US centric portfolio, biotech, security and oil stocks have offered outsized returns.

Here are the median returns of the top performing and underperforming industries, year to date.

Listen to me. This is what I want to do: I want to fade oil, hard as fuck here. I don’t want to sell it short, however. I will scale out of the remainder of my SLCA position and call it quits, hopefully above $40. The move we’ve enjoyed is not enough to warrant stock prices up here. I’d like to revisit oil after a big drop or after the summer. The easy counter-weight play for oil is airlines, restaurants, refiners and gas station plays.

Top ideas include: WNR, TA, PNRA, AAL and SAVE.

But I don’t know what’s gonna get hot, so keep an open mind for the specter of grande extravagance. All I know is our markets are not reflecting the mood change that has gripped the fucking faces of the Chinese and forced them to buy common stocks.

Get your steel tipped boots ready, for we’re about to embark on a face kicking journey of a lifetime.