Just like religion, if you don’t pray to God every night and profess his greatness, when you die, you’re going straight to hell.
My enemies mocked me as I touted the grande powers of The Turkey Gods. One of you equated it to waiting up for The Great Pumpkin, in the middle of the pumpkin patch, as if my name was Lionel.
The day started out rather ordinary, but I warned you it would be anything but normal. Go look at my morning post. I told you GPRO was my largest position for the past two weeks. Several of you bet against me. NEVER bet against “The Fly” when he becomes obsessed with a stock. Listen to me now: I am blessed with the clairvoyance of 10,000 Magis. You can never win against me, ever, so stop trying to accomplish the impossible.
It wasn’t a coincidence, on the eve of National Feast, that news of GPRO launching a drone for public consumption (insane news) sashayed its way into the public’s eye. It wasn’t a coincidence that as many tech stocks lagged behind, my largest holding ROARED ahead by almost 6%–putting my daily gains at 0.8%.
The Gods favour me because I am a true disciple, unlike you charlatans, and thieves, who busy yourselves masquerading as stock market operators. Back down son; you’re out of your depth playing with me.
Now get ready for the Santa Claus rally.
Happy Thanksgiving.
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