WE’RE GOING PARABOLIC

That’s it. ALL FUCKING HELL IS ABOUT TO BREAK LOOSE. ALL 66 SEALS OF HELL ARE ABOUT BE BE BROKEN AND LUCIFER WILL THEN APPEAR FOR THE EXPLICIT PURPOSES OF TAKING BACK HIS DEMON SHORT SELLERS, BACK TO HELL, IN ORDER TO SUMMARILY TORTURE FOR 1,000 YEARS HENCE.

In the meantime, Rick Boss Ross.

It’s not enough that I already own ICPT, GILD, AMGN, AGIO and SGEN. I need MOAR AGIO. After all, they have a cure for cancer. Brrrhaahah, hahahaha, hahahah (maddening laughter).

We killed all the bears and buried them last week. Now we’re heading over to the cemetery to dig up their bones and stomp them out into dust.

Who’s down?

It does’t matter what I say here. The Gods favour Fly and owe me for the shit they pulled on me last year. Since then, I’ve sacrificed many goats and punched many mustaches off. Like the Lannisters, “The Fly” always pays his debts.

What the fuck do you want me to tell you, son? Markets are ripping tits off and you’re sitting there waiting for pullbacks. Look, there are people like you, afraid to take what’s rightfully yours. And then there are people like me who literally don’t give a shit, straight honey badger style, and lives life like there is nothing to lose.

I want the market to decimate to zero. When it happens, I can only hope to be fully leveraged, zero the fuck out, and give me a real reason to move to Puma Punku. In the meantime, I’ll sit here collecting coin, like a fucking Scrooge on X-Mas eve, banging out gangster rap music in my office–so fucking loud– the joints in the sheetrock separate.

Goldman downgrades almost every oil stocks except FANG today. Greece is on the verge of vomiting all over Germany again. Negative mortgage rates are coming, thanks to deflationary pressures. China just posted their weakest GDP number since the financial crisis.

What does it all mean?

It means we’re going higher, you fucking muppets.

What part of “never bet against QE” don’t you dick-holders get? NOTHING MATTERS. It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy, the same type of shit that cannon shot America into the winners circle 100 years ago.

Markets are fortress cities, immune from the Golden Horde raids, steadily melting up–fueled by QE and cocaine addled hedge fund managers.

Happy tax day!

I believe my prior post might’ve left the wrong impression across the internets. Some of you might’ve, for example, believed that I was actually scared of Mrs. Fly and the ramifications for ignoring her “buy on open” order for SHAK.

Let me explain something to you people.

“The Fly” is dominant, in the traditional sense of alpha-male wrought with a deep understanding how the heavens and the earth correlate to one another. A cultured man, cursed by geographical birthplace, an entrepreneur and natural leader. All of these things make up a small portion of the man known to you as HORATIO CLAWHAMMER aka Plutonium Petey, Le Fly, HARPOON HARRY etc.

Mrs. Fly doesn’t read the blog, never has and never will, because the lot of you are “abject morons” (her words, not mine!). I am a defender of social justice, provider and solicitor of revenge themed schemes. Aside from all of that, my resume is rather extensive when it comes to the arts of proper money management, etcetera, etcetera, yadda, yadda, yadda.

What the hell is the point here, you ponder?

I am getting to it now.

I needed to write another post to get that damned title off the front page, because Mrs. Fly walked by an hour ago, whilst drinking a cup of her favorite stupid cinnamon tea. Bog standard, she nearly caught me and my SHAK indiscretions. Call me a coward and I am going to track you down like the dogs that you are and punch your lips loose!

Enjoy some more Louis Armstrong. I’ve been blasting it all day.

I am going to share with you an actual conversation that I had, not too long ago. Naturally, I do not wear a wire and cannot remember the precise words that were exchanged; but it went something like this.

Fly: Hey, that Shake Shack, your favorite, is coming public soon.

Mrs. Fly: Oh, that’s great. Make sure you buy some for us and the kids.

Fly: Pffff, no way. Listen to me, I am buying HABT, errr, ummm, because the valuation is better.

Mrs. Fly: What is HABT? I’ve never heard of it. No one cares about the valuation for SHAK because they just want to own it. It’s going to be big.

Fly: Look you, I don’t tell you how to do your job…

Mrs. Fly: Oh, like the time I told you not to buy all of those dot com stocks but you thought it was a good idea to throw our entire nest egg into it? Just buy it and stop over-thinking it.

Fly: Let’s go check out HABT first. I am telling you, SHAK is going to trade at a lunatic valuation.

Mrs. Fly: Have you see all of the stocks I’ve bought and where they are now? ULTA, AAPL, CMG? Just buy it.

Fly: I’ll buy it in the 20’s, pal. Now go fetch me my crown and scepter. I have a kingdom to rule over.

Mrs. Fly: Get them yourself.

Needless to say, I never quite bought SHAK for her, or the kids. Instead, they have chopped meat company HABT. If she happens to stumble across today’s closing price, she will go ape. Let’e keep it between us, shall we?

I added to both BITA and DSKY.

Nothing can stop the market, not even death.

All of the gloom from 15 minutes is gone, like a fucking whisper in the wind on a cold winter night. A new era of hedonistic perversion, which has stalked the market for many weeks, is now here, lying down on your sofa–eating grapes, watching television.

Stocks are back on the way higher again and all of the people who just sold, small infants with weak intestinal fortitude, will be forced, BY LAW, to buy back in.

When you bet against stocks you make yourselves to be slack-jawed apes.

Indeud.

What should we do here, lads? The fucking market is melting down. I am off by 0.7% and things are getting worse.

Should I…

a. Fuck off and eat a sandwich?

b. Fuck off and buy more?

c. Fuck off and sell it all?

or d. Fuck off?

I eagerly await your opinions.

Remember back in January when I was buying oil, SLCA under $25, and told you the seasonal trends were forever in our favor? Well, most of you spit at me, like camels, siding with Dennis Gartman’s brain-dead philosophy that dictated oil was heading back to pre-industrial era pricing of a nickel per barrel. Here we are with Q1 in the books and you’re all slobbering over yourselves, trying to get back into oil.

Let’s not be reactionary, ok? Have a look at the season trends again, courtesy of Exodus.

Even an infant can see that oil is a highly seasonal commodity, pertaining to the performance of equities. Do yourselves a favor and avoid it for now. That doesn’t mean to short it or wait for a dip to buy it. That means avoid it. Do you hear me, fuckheads?

Moving on, markets should trade higher today. The weather is a bit gloomy and Blustar is a bit doomy; but the Sun Also Rises and before you know it, speculative fervor will be back in the tape, pushing halfway retarded, dim-witted, money managers back into the fray–chasing performance. It is my belief there is vast under-investment in this country, particularly with persons under 35 years old.

Let’s see how the market responds by 10am before making wild assumptions.