I implore you to take an honest look at your current holdings and ask yourself, “Is this shit kinda hot right now?” Perhaps your names aren’t participating in the current market appreciation like you expected, perhaps they are. I can assure you the speculative funds are focused on the future of commerce: running your fucking life from a cell phone. Can one even call the iPhone a cell phone? Dare I say it has transcended such nomenclature? Indeed I shall, for it has. Beyond iPhone, full grown men are getting all giddy about whispers of a Facebook phone. LMFAO.

ZNGA got whacked pretty hard today after a decent earnings announcement yesterday afternoon. Stock didn’t go down enough, my opinion. I literally laugh at the jumpers and haters in this name. These games may seem childish, but I must assure you they are steering the gaming ship in new directions, pointing at the horizon and saying, “Right there good fellow, the new world awaits.” I want more shares, but I’m being exceptionally patient with the name as it continues to be led by the homo bear administration (no politico).

I am wholeheartedly embracing and positioning myself for the app and social universe to bamboozle onlookers with its majestic levitation. The names I hold, by weight: PCLN, LNKD, TRIP, P, Z, GSVC, YELP, UPS, and ZNGA. “UPS what the fuck?” one might say. To which I reply, “How the fuck else do you expect to get your shit?” Futurama, a show based in the distant future, in a world tangled with vacuum tube transportation, features a package delivery team as the protagonist. I rest my case.

Names I want to own, but just can’t wrap my risk management into: AMZN, RAX & ADS. Fuck me sideways I owned ADS & RAX at much cheaper prices. I played the hundred dollar roll in ADS early Q1 and left BIG MEECH BMF on the table. RAX I let go of early this week, like a coward. It perturbs me and my thesis in a most unhealthy manner.

Finally, I’ve strapped on a stage three rocket booster, TNA, into the close. Because the weekly charts on the indices keep whispering to me, “to the moon Raul3” like a gentle choir of angels.

You would know all of this already, had you followed me on Twitter @TwoSmuth

Listen, it’s hard to be humble after a week like this. I will reread the Chess archives this weekend and tempter my emotions.

Regards,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dghcqbl52aw&feature=youtube_gdata_player

 

P.S. Lest I not forget my full retard account is 100% long DDMG uuuuugh.

Comments »

So it turns out Marc Zuckerberg and them are the real deal and speculative monies are flowing to the next big thing, social stocks and apps. It’s an easy story to buy into, and that’s why I foresee investors gravitating to these internet names all summer to get rich as fuck. The economy can go catatonic, all jobs flushed in the toilet, and the time users spend on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram will increase. The economy can start tit ripping and people will grab their iPhones and B.M.F. with the aid of YELP, TRIP, PCLN, and Kayak. AMZN will be your one stop shop for ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING brought to your door step fast as fuck by UPS. Want to buy a house? Get that Z app playa. All of the data our web interactions produce will be precious, stored by RAX and mined harder than a southwestern Indian reservation by ADS!

Do you not get this yet? Fuck I feel late buying into these names, but the winners are so young. Some names have been tossed into the gutter. Names like Pandora. P is a powerhouse consuming MASSIVE amounts of internet eyes and ears like “What’s a goon to a goblin? Nothing Nothing.” So cheap down here in my opinion. I’m not a catch the knife trader, but every day I watch the stock drop and ponder buying it up. For the love of Krishna, at least it’s clear how P makes money.

If you wondering what the next big (bubble) thing will be, financing the purchases of fuckloads of diamonds, it’s staring you in the face, the social mobile web. FUTURE, WAVE OF THE FUTURE. Go buy some now! Hahaha don’t do that. But at least consider what I’ve written.

FD: Long RAX TRIP LNKD GSVC YELP

HAPPY FLY APPRECIATION DAY! You are indeud appreciated.

Regards,

Comments »

I have decidedly positioned myself into a rather internet concentrated basket: RAX, TRIP, LNKD, GSVC, and YELP now make up over 30% of assets. Furthermore I own GLW and ATVI. I own a few more names outside this space and they do very little to pique my interest. Facebook is coming IPO this summer. This “already hot as fuck” summer. Frugality fatigue is setting in and the consumer wants to trade in their factory wheels for platinum plated LED rims. Uugh so gangsta. In the stock market this translates to, “Honey we traded these boring ass blue chips for some app companies. Where’s my iPhone I need to continue running my life from it.” And as such, rank and file, the inflows will come chasing these names into the stratosphere.

At least, that’s the scenario I’m positioning for. Am I too late? Or is the fat 70% of the move still to be had? T.B.D.

Always remember not wait for the fire alarm to sound to sashay toward the exit. After all, these trades will be crowded with all the newbies, like a Deadmau5 concert:

Comments »

This week the auto industry is loaded with fanfare. They’ve rolled out the red carpets in New York to tout their new models and global prowess. The media hubs are reporting the uptick in auto sales with glee. The economy, here it comes baby! While in New York GM is showing big banks, “how you handle a bailout.” Their words, not mine.

So here I am, about two weeks into initiating a holding in F. I hopped on this leaky yacht and left port only to slosh around in the choppy waters of $12-13 dollars. I see the trumpeting from the media and the dog and pony show not as a godly tail wind for asset appreciation but more like ten asthma patients taking turns blowing through a curly straw. “Fords” sails are limper than Clay Aiken’s wrists.

Volume and volatility ticked up in the name yesterday, and the stock is entering the proverbial fuck or walk stage. Break twelve or break thirteen, that is the question:

Comments »

Sometimes I take a dollop of information bestowed by the benevolent bloggers of iBC and investigate whether it fits my risk profile and current portfolio concentration. Last night and this morning ChessNwine advised keeping an eye on MDVN based on seasonality data and overall biotech strength. Until today I enjoyed this year’s biotech coin banking tendencies via DVAX, which was highlighted by the gregarious Henry Fool. I got my lock-n-roll on this morning swapping DVAX for MDVN. This accomplished two things; I took profits on an extended name and maintained by portfolio’s biotech weighting.

Let’s talk about something important. Ignore iBC at your own risk. There are no shortcuts in trading or investing. A lapse in judgment of risk will always be “rewarded” with involuntary amputation. But know that you can save yourself 10’s of hours a week scanning THIS SITE ALONE for quality names.

Do you think I’m fucking with you? Current holdings by weight: LNKD, WFM (Mrs. Fly), F, AWK (Mr. Cain Thaler), HFC & GLW (Fly), DNKN, BID (Fly), KSWS (Fly), RAD & MDVN (ChessNwine), GSVC (Fly) and a 40% cash pillow.

Go and do likewise gents.

Comments »

In wake of the multi-orifice TVIX skull fucking exposé here in the iBC_BN, I thought it time for a friendly reminder regarding position sizing. I hate to be brash and I never take schadenfreude in another trader’s hardships, but fuck (butt fuck?) come on people. We need not concentrate our money in these markets. You know…eggs in a basket. We learn that shit trolling church parking lots on Easter when we’re like five years old.

Everyone has a different percentage profile for how they concentrate speculative funds, but I guarantee a prop desk would fire your fucking ass if they saw you 75% allocated to an underwater leveraged ETF position. I got UVXY’d last week to the tune of a 28% loss. There I was, jogging at a casual eight minute mile pace in the park, banking coin long stocks, when a boy came walking from the jungle gym wearing UA shorts and a Dri-fit running shirt.

“Hey guy, you want a Gu Energy Gel? It will put some pep in your step. Finish hard brah.” smirked the athletic child. Charmed by the unsuspecting kindness of the boy stranger I agreed. He gestured to follow him to his “office” just inside the tree line behind the playground. He reached behind a makeshift blind and grabbed a heavy black garbage bag. His arms shook from the weight of the bag as he extended it to me. “Ga’head, the best ones are at the bottom.”

Puzzled and curious by the entire exchange I peered into the bag but was unable to see all the way to the bottom. As soon as I put my hand in the bag it erupted with action as a band of fucking rabid squirrels began slashing at my hand like a school of piranha. “Ouch bastard!” I cried out. And I pulled my hand out the bag and started running away.

“Shit sorry guy! The squirrels must have snuck in to steal the Gu packs. Die squirrls!” the menace yelled as he beat the garbage bag against a nearby tree. “They seem to have scurried off. Look they left all these Gu packs perfectly untouched. Come back!” he pleaded in a most innocent manner. But I had already made my way back across the playground, shoving several children to the ground as I sprinted through. His sinister laugh, more like a sick dog’s croon, faded in the distance as I continued my run through the park. I eventually made my way to a wash station and cleaned the hand up. It wasn’t until I returned home and my running endorphins subsided that I realized I had lost a finger in the exchange.

Had I been totally gay about running in the park and guzzling Gu packs that day I may have greedily reached in with both hands and been pulled into the bag only to have my bones picked clean by this evil fucker’s mutated war beasts. Did I mention the squirrels had switchblades and hand grenades? I live to run another day.

Moral: Don’t put 75% of your speculative funds in one place. Not even the 400% man does that shit with BRK-A. I most always top out at 15% concentration.

In the markets:  Initiated BID long.  Added to HFC

Comments »

Good friends and pen pals, my how heavy a burden it is wearing UVXY chaps. The looks one gets and the weight the damp leather adds to the stride is more than enough to belittle ones demeanor. I’m happy to have cleared all shares of said toxic ETF from my accounts and will add to my commissions and losses the purchase of a VXX Halloween costume. A must own garment for remembering ones jaunt down switchblade alley. It’s like buying the candid portrait of horror they snap on a roller coaster.

It was clear after a high intensity swim gave way to a casual freestyle daydream the VIX position needed to cease bleeding out. Then my thoughts carried onto other parts of the market. Investors are sashaying in and out of TIF, how stupendous! LNKD is being guided higher by the grand muppeteers. I see more upside in the name for following three reasons:

Goldman wants to reassure their clients they love them and they’re privy to favorable information. (perhaps some jabs and winks yesterday afternoon)

Investors love clamoring over a social stock.

$100.00 roll. Get’em while they’re hot.

Why thank you very much Mr. Sachs, now don’t you go fucking me while I turn my attention to other market concerns. Disclaimer: I never use LNKDs resources. Seems lame. I digress.

I bought KSWS today as I want a shoe stock, the chart looks primed, and Kenny fucking Powers continues to be funny. Oh what a life this is, speculating on such trivial nonsense. If you don’t like the game, then leave.

The bottom line is this: define your risk and buy some fucking stocks. It’s hot outside and USA #1 on fyah!

Comments »

What to do, what to do…

Did you see last week when I penned an article about my merits for owning UVXY? I thought the idea strange but simple; volatility could be underestimated here. So I watched it trade for two days, and bought it when it turned up. That was last Wednesday. The next three trading days went like this:

Tick, tick, BOOM!

The position knifed lower today and is down 15% since my entry. But am I worried? Should I be worried? Absolutely not good sir, that’s no way to speculate! Had not I known the nature of this freaky little instrument I would not have positioned myself in the name. And of course risk management makes my job a lot easier. So here’s how the rest of this trade will play out. I will enact the following steps and not deviate from them:

If UVXY stabilizes and some buyers come back in, I will double my position.
I will only double down on a green close or if a green close seems imminent during the trading day.
I will scale my double down completely off if/when we trade at the original entry ($25.44).
I will accept being wrong and sell this shit instrument if/when the VXX closes below $19.33
A reassessment of the trade will occur upon scaling off the double down.

See? Simple. If you think you’re going to catch knifes like a fucking sideshow clown and not bleed out from time to time you’re more delusional than cockboy over in Cali with his “rush hour whack off” fiasco.

Of important note: The above trade will not DEFINE me guy, you one star rating internet prick cock sucker hobo fucker (I had to get all that out as it’s frowned upon in the tweet streams). The total risk involved to my portfolio is about 1.5%. Aka a fucking hedge isn’t going to derail my otherwise fantastically well year.

Finally, I’m still long and with the help of others on this site I’m banking money fast (and B.M.F. on the weekend) in my newest positions DRYS and YELP(s). On Dasher, on Prancer! Okay nevermind they’re selling off into the close ROFL.

One last thing since it’s Moday, my current holdings are as follows (by weight): AWK, HFC, FR, WFM, LNKD, F, NIB, DVAX, GSVC, DRYS, UVXY

The degenerate account is 100% long YELP.

May your days and weeks continue on swimmingly.

Regards
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n7DDTd_ZZIk

Comments »

Sometimes a classic car makes its way into the hood and gets “donked the fuck out” with twenty six inch rims and lift kits. And it’s a sick look, but it makes the right turn hard and otherwise destroys the original feel of a classic treasure. However once in a while you see a restoration like the above with touches of decadence but an appreciation given to the original look, a masterpiece of gangsta driving if you will. This is the type of car you drive ten under wearing a Tommy Bahama shirt and fedora while smoking a large Montecristo no handedly.

The refinery stocks have been restored in a similar way. They trade classy and smooth. I’ve owned HFC since I highlighted it at the end of 2011. I increased my position this week. The Fly has penned several posts for understanding the refinery trade and you can query the iBC using its attached Google machine and get a plethora of advice. In the refinery space my personal favorite is HFC. I know several in the iBC community own/trade WNR. WNR allows the speculator to make hundreds if not thousands of penis references in communique which is fun and fine and fair. I like HFC. HFC continues to trend well, which is also fun. Driving this stock has more than covered my fuel expenses for the next few years and rides like a perfectly restored classic. I would chase it up here but will consider taking a scale around $37.33.

Regarding St. Patrick ’s Day: May your hands and minds always have work. And may you guzzle many fine ales and lagers tomorrow and eat corned beef in celebration of Irish folks and St. Patrick. If you fight tomorrow, do so as a gentleman. Go outside, square up and put up your dukes. None of that UFC hugging and humping shit is to be tolerated unless you’re fighting in California’s inland empire.

Comments »

I’ve spent the better half of the day considering putting on a pleather VXX vest and riding a little tricycle wearing a tiny tophat. Or perhaps I will instead don a pair of assless UVXY chaps for my curious tricycle ride. Volatility has absolutely collapsed but I would never call a top, or a bottom for that matter. No, cynical one star rating internet miscreant, I don’t understand the intricacies of VIX VXX veddy VXX tits and its contango and other obfuscations. But is wanting simply to be long volatility for a bit too strange a reason to use these POS instruments? The VXX with its flaws and brokenness and UVXY with its stupid ticker symbol? At these prices I feel more excited than a gregarious Rottweiler at the Westminster Kennel Club.

The markets are being bid up as we approach the FOMC meeting this afternoon and it has me and others puzzled and cautious. Again to be clear, my bias was and continues to be bullish. I’m underinvested, sure. And that’s fine. My portfolio sits at its high watermark. Investors and traders I pen pal with also appear under positioned to take advantage of our current market. Their caution is part of what keeps me in my longs. I also feel it’s too risky to NOT be long in this environment where shit stocks rip on light volume and no news. Pikers are killing this market with their unscarred fresh faces. Such is life in the markets.

I do twitter, and I’ll let you know ova there if I gear up for my trike ride.

Be well my friends, define your risk, and engage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FmPi8ePDmcg&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Comments »