REMINDER: Le Fly Doesn’t Need Markets; Markets Need Le Fly

The Dow has been down for 7 consecutive days and during that time frame I’ve demonstrated a trading acumen that will be studied in the hall of science for eternity — successfully winning in 32 of my last 33 trades. I don’t feel like going back and looking, but if I had to guess, my last 25 or so trades have been winners.

So while futures might’ve given back a little and many of you absolute BEARSHITTERS are foaming at the mouth, foolishly trying to stop me — just know that I will make money today nevertheless.

Perhaps I’ll make 4% today? Does that sound like a reasonable return?

Nasdaq futures are up 50 and every stockbroker, excuse me “financial planner”, I know is circle jerking over the idea of moving up the basis point ladder. Little do they know, I am coming for them with a claw-hammer and will soon spill out the remnants of their brains unto their Riskalyze care packages.

Rumor has it The Donald is fishing out a new trade deal with MUH COMMUNIST CHINA — but you and I know there truth of the matter.

I piss and defecate on the stocks Gods. I cannot be stopped. I went from 85% cash to 25% today because I wanted to make money. Because I wanted to make money, futures are now sharply higher — because the heavens and the ancient spirits work thru me.

Just today I was in Philly, gorging myself on some iced cream and Shake Shack Hammed burgers. My son was fretful it’d rain and then I posited the following statement to him, with an eloquent confidence.

“Son, I bet you my entire life, may I be struck dead here on the filthy Philly ground, that it shall not rain, not even a single drop of water, while we are walking these grounds.”

He looked at me, a bit puzzled, and then said “why would you bet your life on such a stupid thing?” And then it hit him like a 10,000 pound bag of sand: because Dad cannot lose, even if he wanted to.

I didn’t even need to answer the question, instead side-eying him with an expression that personified a careless confidence, something born out of supernatural qualities. The moment we boarded the vehicle, it began to rain. It was during that moment that my youngest son knew, with certainty, that his Father was a space alien magician.

Tomorrow, you will visit this site and bear witness to chicanery.

NOTE: I am going to set up text alerts for my trades for Exodus members soon.

DEVELOPING…

Since you’re unable to do this yourselves, I will gift you a small morsel of my wisdom and tell you which stocks are going to rip higher and soon.

Do yourselves a favor and get long biotech.

Reason being: Drumpf can’t fuck with it and Chinese trade wars cannot affect their nefarious dealings. We want to position in names with momentum. Fuck the turn arounds.

Top picks: FATE, UMRX, ARRY

There are a few more I’m interested in. If you want those, GET IN Exodus.

My other picks are pieces of shit that want to barrel higher like a comedy of drunken laughs. I stormed into GPRO and DDD like the Kool-Aid guy today, hoping others would follow behind me.

In SAAS, I got some BOX, OKTA, and COUP.

I like pot — because that’s what Canada is smoking. CGC and CRON will rip tomorrow.

Lastly, I have one China stock left, BSTI. I’m not that bullish on it, but I gather from the spiritual winds that I literally cannot lose — so it’s probably going higher too.

I whittled myself down from 80% cash to 25% today, buying FATE as my last new position for the day. I think it’s apropos to own such a ticker, since my own fate is already forged into the rocks of my own DNA, which is made from bacon, whiskey, and gun powder, and that my friends is a winner.

I cannot lose. Watch all of the stocks purchased today careen higher and there’s nothing you or your stupid friends can do about it.

UPDATE: Biotech is the new hot sector. I stepped in and bought ARRY. Cash down to 20%.

These are headlines designed to draw out my haters. Much to my chagrin, they’ve made themselves scarce these days, probably preferring their heroin needles and their bottles of booze rather than messing with the man inside of the FUCKING TIME MACHINE.

Listen to me now, for I will not repeat myself.

Markets will go higher.

Even if markets go down, I’ll still go higher.

I bought CRON, DDD, and GPRO this morning from the dentist’s office.

Now I bought OKTA and COUP — cash levels reduced to 30%.

Hell, you can see my stocks. After all, Exodus is now open for free trials for anyone who wants to try it for 7 days. You can look at my quant picks and see that they’re up 1.2% today, absolutely crushing the SPY.

GET IN HERE traderFAGS.

I’m 32 for my last 33. Your attempts to stop me have thusly failed, rather miserably. Being the generous man I am, I present to you another chance at vengence. Instead of buying great companies at high valuations, I am buying piece of shits at high valuations.

Ergo, your chance to stop me.

I bought CRON, GPRO, and DDD.

That’s right, fucked face. I bought a pot stock, a stupid helmet camera, and some 3D printer, designed for retards who want to manufacture iPhone cases in their cellars.

It’s also worth noting that my CGC reversed lower and is down and I am also down from my basis on both DDD and CRON. This could be the very beginning of the end of Le Fly.

This is like the Twilight Zone episode when the guy was dead, winning all the time at gambling, sticking up banks, getting chicks etc — never losing. It was later on revealed that this place he resided in, an apparent paradise, was in fact hell. I too have been trying to lose for weeks now, sashaying effervescently into long necked giraffe-like stocks, only to find myself on the receiving end of a most egregious victory.

Just yesterday, I bough CGC, hoping my 32 for 33 stock picking success winning streak would come to a very abrupt end. Then I come to find out Canada legalized pot and the fucking stock is sharply higher in the pre-market.

Did I die and this is my hell, a world of wanton victories without drawdowns? I must admit, this sordid brand of hedonism isn’t what you might think it is, from an emotional standpoint. The wins aren’t as exciting without the losses — the proverbial punch to the gut that makes you want to spit up your balls and maybe a lung.

Futures are up over 100 and I’ll probably put a lot of my 80% cash back to work today, in a true college spirited effort to lose some of it.

Wish me luck!

One could always count on the royalists from the north to partake in grand acts of degeneracy. For such a small, minuscule, insignificant nation, it talks a big game and does a lot of crazy shit. It’s like a giant trailer park of people living in America’s attic.

The Senate passed the bill to legalize pot, which now goes to “royal assent” for finalization. What in the fuck is royal assent and why are they using the vernacular of a monarch. Is there a fucking King of Canada, and if so, who is this gent?

Bill C-45 now moves to royal assent, the final step in the legislative process. That could occur within days at the government’s discretion. The government’s desire to see home grown marijuana permitted across Canada eventually prevailed, and a proposal from the Senate to allow provinces and territories to ban them has been stripped from the final bill.

“We have witnessed today a very historic vote that ends 90 years of prohibition, that’s historic. It ends 90 years of needless criminalization, it ends a prohibition model that inhibited and discouraged public health, and community health approaches in favour of ‘just say no.’ Approaches that simply failed our young people miserably,” independent Senator Tony Dean said after the vote.

But not all Senators were happy with it.

“This bill does not do what the overarching goal says it does, which is to reduce the marijuana use among young people,” Tory Senator Leo Housakos said. “The message for me is be very cautious, just because it’s legal doesn’t make it right. Educate yourself, and take cautious steps because what you do today will invariably have an impact on your life for years to come.”

Might I add, Le Fly enters tomorrow long a Canadian pot stock, CGC, which is sharply higher in after hour’s trade.

Jack Welch is rolling over in his grave.

Imagine being Jeffrey Immelt, this guy.

Jeff Immelt, Asshat, General Electric

You take over for Jack, who at the time was considered to be the best CEO in American history. You barrel GE into a financial crisis in 2008 and then pivot away from finance and into energy, just before oil collapsed, and then get yourself booted from the Dow 30 for the pleasure of it all.

GE was the very first Dow component, starting the index in 1896. It has been the logo for American business for more than a century, the pinnacle of capitalism and corporate success. Now it’s being replaced by a fucking pharmacy (Walgreens) and its stock is down 60% over the past two years — the lowest level since 2009.

All of that ended, AND MORE, because of one man: Jeffrey Robert Immelt.

“No, please, don’t take $GE out of the Dow. I’ll suck your dick.”

Imagine the things they will say about him when he’s dead. It’s a damned shame.

It would be ironic if my streak ended lazily with a gap lower in CGC, wouldn’t it? Dare I say, my streak would go up in smoke?

Fact of the matter is, there was nothing redeeming about the session. We had lowlights in biotechs and a few other meaningless sectors; but for the most part — it was a down day.

My Quant account traded lower by ~0.4% and my active account was, in fact, higher for the day — mainly because I cannot lose. I sold both FIVN and QTWO today for profit, both up on a rather moribund day.

New additions included CGC and UMRX. I was tempted to do others, but held back because buying stocks here might lead to losses. I do not lose; therefore, I do not buy stocks into bad tapes.

Gains

PS +20%
SOGO +16%
MDB +12%
PVTL +13.5%
QD -3%
SSTI +7%
HUBS +10%
IQ +32%
BITA +4%
SMAR +26% (doubled up)
ZUO +21%
BILI +12% (doubled up)
HUYA +19%
OSTK +2.7%
BILI +20.5%
CBLK +16%
EVBG +7.2%
APPN +9%
ZEN +6%
CLPS +104%
BL +2%
PS +4%
SMAR +4.8%
APPF +0.15%
FIZZ +16%
SHAK +12%
YEXT +12%
AMBO +37%
NEW +23%
FIVN +2.9%
QTWO +1.9%

Good day.