Senior Iranian Oil Minister Trolls Trump on Tapping into SPR and Elevated Oil Prices

Ever since Trump decided to punish Iran and impose sanctions, the price of crude has been strong as shit — trending higher. While I welcome these elevated prices, mainly because it discouraged poor people from driving and crashing into other people whilst taking selfies of themselves in their piece of shit vehicles, it’s important to document any time a senior oil minister trolls Trump for daring to access America’s strategic oil reserves.

“My advice to you, Mr. President, is to avoid touching the SPR – to cool down and give up sanctioning Iranian oil,” Hossein Kazempour Ardebili, Iran’s representative to OPEC, said by email.

“Mr. President, as I have foreseen earlier, it seems you are resorting to the SPR due to the fact that there is no spare capacity to cover for Iranian exports – but there will be many repercussions,” Kazempour said.

“Saudi Arabia, the U.A.E and Russia pretended to be able to deliver 2.5 million barrels a day of Iranian exports,” Kazempour said. “That was a miscalculation, Mr. President: you have fallen in their trap, and prices will go up.”

It’s not the first time the Iranian official has responded to Trump’s policies. Earlier this month, Kazempour said that tweets by Trump criticizing the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries had pushed oil prices up by about $10 a barrel.

“If we in Iran were to stop our exports for just one month to show what it can bring to the world economy, you would have thought twice,” Kazempour said. “But we are a civilized nation, and a responsible government.”

Thank God Iran is such a civilized nation, otherwise we’d be hamstrung by $500 crude by now. Just think about all of them oil stocks soaring higher under $500 crude. There’s no way I’d lose money on gas consumption, since my market gains would far outpace the amount of money spent at the pump. Granted, the economy would be in shambles and poor people would freeze to death during the winter months, it would be a fine experience, something to tell the grandkids by the fireside on wintry Xmas time nights.

“Back in my day when Iran decided not to be civilized, we didn’t have oil or heat, or even gasoline — because it was too god damned expensive. Why, most people went back to burning firewood in their houses and driving horse and buggies. Those were the days — you should’ve been there.”

I just got back from entertaining out of town visitors. We ate 100 pizza pies and also dessert. Before they arrived, I frantically scrambled to tidy up the yard, doing a sundry of gardening — which resulted in my stupid bald head getting sun burned to a crisp.

Also, I lost my favorite $300 sunglasses in the process. I’m pretty sure I mistook them for a piece of trash and discarded them with the rest of the dead plants that I threw away.

Now I’m home and the company is gone, and my head is throbbing, my stomach feels fat, and I’m sullen because my favorite sunned glasses are gone.

Meanwhile, I’m tired.

Exodus free trials are still open. Be sure to taken advantage and behold the grandeur of my robotic mind.

You know I like software — so here’s a solid screen showing high growth/high Sharpe for the industry.

Off to drink myself retarded.

The Dow is higher by 100, but breadth in tech is only at 38% and most of the gains to be enjoyed are in useless services and industrial sectors of the market. That’s ok, because we need a good digestion after a hearty meal. “The Fly” will now spend the balance of the day planning his weekend, which will be filled with all sorts of rote tasks that suck the very essence of life out of his very old, and ancient, soul.

I will push through it, as I always have, amidst a dizzying amount of gin and lime juice — because life is better with gin and lime juice.

Into the close, it looks like I’ll shed 100bps. I had high hopes of continued success, but the market never does exactly what you want it to do on exactly your schedule. Am I right?

In the end, as always, “The Fly” will win and crush the skulls of his enemies and then take said skulls and grind them into dust and then take said dust and sprinkle it on his steaks like the salt bae, and then eat them (extra cannibal).

Yesterday my IQ was fucking soaring. I had everyone inside Exodus shitting their pantaloons thinking about all of the money to be enjoyed. Early this morning, it looked like it could go either way. Now I’m readily convinced my IQ will stabilize at around 34.

Some believe my IQ can get as high as 100, mainly because they’re “the Chinese Netflix.” But I tend to not think too hard about those predictions and instead focus, rather intently, on the short term. Impulsive, base, even craven thoughts permeate my psyche on a second my second basis — me against the world, destroying enemies, yada, yada, yada.

Meanwhile, Russia is being charged, once again, with hacking the elections. Rosenstein has indicted a dozen Russians and blamed their military for the victory of a certain Donald J. Trump.

Who’s looking forward to the 2020 elections!?

At any rate, my portfolio is down almost 100bps today and that’s quite all right, considering it was up 500bps yesterday. I’m flush out of cash, nothing but a tinned pot and happy memories to help me get by now, so say hello when you see me and if possible toss a few wooden nickels my way.

I’m awfully hungry and somewhat thirsty.

Prepare for a grisly affair, one way or another.

As a child in school, my friends and I used to make a big deal of Friday the 13th, always harking back to the days when Jason from the fictional movie, Friday the 13th, ax murdered all those people. We’d scare the girls into thinking Jason was gonna get them, for reasons now I do not know. Something was wrong with me then, just like something is wrong with me now. I can’t stop making money. Believe me, I try to lose — position myself into hazards that could potentially wipe me out, yet here I am — standing before you victorious.

Stock futures are flat, thanks to some weak bank earnings. Nevertheless, I fully expect there to be magnificent celebratory happenings today.

Let me go fetch myself a boiling hot hot cup of black coffee and then we’ll start trading.

After today’s market activity of unbridled buying, I’m fresh out of dollars. I have nothing left, a peasant amongst thieves and scoundrels.

Won’t you loan me some of yours so that I can purchase more stocks?

It’s so great living without fear, knowing full well that tomorrow all of my holdings will press higher, producing fresh nectar for me to drink. I’m quite thirsty and require a good bit of nectar.

In the after-hours session, Dow futures are +50, Nasdaq +17 — paving the way for yet another fun filled day of speculation.

Why, just yesterday I posited the question of whether or not we were pricing in a 2019 recession, with Utes and bonds leading. But today everything is fine and my triple upside position in IQ made me feel quite good, warm, and safe. The market is often a cold place, unforgiving and antagonistic. But this market is kind, gentle, and generous.

If you’re not making coin in this tape, you’re plainly retarded — and that’s ok. Come inside Exodus and let me show you how professionals deal with such tapes.

Cheers to the professionals!

I just dropped a mic on you clown-fuckers. All of my enemies have been dispatched today. I now endeavor to cultivate a new generation of Fly haters, young men who think they know more and then find themselves coerced into feckless online battles with me, only to get dispatched in time.

When you’re long gone and the trees are old and the grass is worn, I’ll still be here conducting these battles for the internet to see and bear witness. My immortal person lives on throughout these haunted halls, ebbing and flowing through the soap opera called the stock market — making my mark in a very humble and careful way.

On this day, July the 12th, 2018, Le Fly pulled off another caper and gained an astounding 500 bps on his actively traded account.

All that is important and worthwhile in this crazy market can been seen in real time inside the hallowed confines of Exodus. I must be heading out now — geared for a very dry champagne with a special recipe on my mind.

Top picks: IQ, NEW, MDB

Consider this a triple upside play on IQ, the ‘Chinese Netflix.’

This is my third purchase of IQ, making this a 15% sized position — my largest position to date. My cash is gone, as I am 100% long — full tilting sideways into the rapidly moving blades of high risk trading.

I have no fear — because I am invincible. I create my own destiny and the stock Gods are complete trash. I piss on them, all day, every day.

Fade me — see what happens faggots.

I bought some DBX with a well defined downside stop at $30. Everything I envisioned for myself turned to fruition today. I’m literally rolling over fat lazy sloths with my car — especially bearshitters who fretted over ridiculous things such as ‘trade wars.’

Look at how stupid you all are, missing out on a +200 short squeeze annihilation.

There is nothing you can do — the horse is out of the barn and he’s kicking people in the face now — unstoppable beast with hooves as hard as granite.

Look you, I just bagged an +18% intra-day win on AMBO, going bananas on this IQ on a doubled sized position. Other stocks that I own going ape: RNG, MDB, SMAR, RPD, ROKU, TWOU, PDS etc.

It’s fucking funny, really — you thinking competition is something I concern myself with.

I’m circling back to all of my previous winners — going back to the old well. These are small positions because the degeneracy on these stocks is high. I booked the AMBO trade, in the process taking an 18% intra-day profit.

Now I sashayed hard into NEW (no homo), with the hopes and dreams of repeating a former glory.

Conservatively, I’d like to see NEW jimmy higher to $25, by late this afternoon.