Stepped in Hard — Bought $APPF

I sold out of this DBX shit for a 3.5% loss. I don’t have time for weakness.

With some of my cash, I stepped in like a savage and bought some APPF. The stock is heading higher, clearly. I invite all to bet against me on this one. See where it gets you.

Markets look brilliant and my positions, aside from that fucking DBX, look splendid.

Nice breakout for this biotech dice roll. I like it here thru $100.

Markets look good. My little ROKU dipped and then people ate it up and now it’s running. The only stock of mine that is notable to the downside is IQ. But you can’t keep a high IQ down for long. It’s only a matter of time until this fucker breaks some necks to the upside, believe me.

Get the fuck out of here with this shit.

In an effort to appeal to the youngsters, Goldman is promoting David Solomon, aka DJ D Sol, to CEO of the vampire squid. While I’m sure Mr. Solomon is more than capable of running Goldman — get the fuck out of here with this shit.

DJ D SOL ON THE 1s and 2s

While I appreciate David’s desire to be a fucking man child, spinning EDM tunes for rich folk, I really can’t stand too much more of this timeline. I want to be inserted back into the Matrix. I don’t want to remember any of this. I liked it just fine when the financial system was collapsing. Something happened in 2009 that changed everything. Perhaps the simulation was altered and now we have a reality teevee star as our leader and now a fucking DJ running our best bank.

Sorry, I want out.

“The Fly” has items for sale on Amazon, from which you, the unwashed pleb, might take advantage of. Last year I performed great acts of literary art and published two short stories, both for sale on Amazon. I wouldn’t call them books, or even novellas. Instead, I’d call them works of art, with RARE art on them.

In the future, these will be collectors items and passed around High School’s like they were candy. For now, it’s yours for a pittance. For extra motive, the good folks at Amazon are offering deals for Prime Day — our nations favorite and most celebrated holiday.

The first story, In a Car Made of Dynamite Heading for the Sun, is about me getting into the business, a roughly cut edge lord from Brooklyn trying to hammer his way into the brokerage industry, late 90s. For a time, I was bedraggled, uncultured, swine — but then I started to make a lot of money and became instantly fancy and generous.

The second story, about twice as long, Journey into Fear, chronicled my occasion during the dot com collapse, life at home with a young wife and son, 9/11, and my personal financial collapse. It’s a real pick me up story, a riches to rags tale of an uncultured swine with money gambling his way back into the poorhouse.

I was supposed to write part 3 to this planned trilogy, but have been busy and I was thinking my story is still being played out. Perhaps in a few years, I could add in my time at the site, and talk extremely greasy about all of my days here with the internet people. Or not.

Either way, they’re good reads. I know this because I’m the one who fucking wrote them.

I’m real sour tonight, like a walking and talking lemon. I’m pissed off at Kevin Spacey for ruining NFLX with his gay perversions. Not that anything is wrong with being gay, but only his form of being gay — raping others and such. I’ll just leave that subject sitting there quietly and move on.

The fucking stock market is gonna tank out tomorrow. I was so looking forward to my IQ rising again; but it appears I’m going to get punched in the gut and will buckle over like a true manlet. No matter how tough you think you are, the market has a way of making everyone into a beta jackass.

No worries, “The Fly” is a genetic anomaly and will figure out new methods to skin his cats.

Meanwhile, here’s a fucking list for you to peruse, oversold stocks in Exodus — most with 90% win rates, average returns very beautiful. Your shitty systems pale in comparison to what I’m doing here. Ask around — this shit is better than sliced bread.

I planted a triple upside IQ crop last week that has grown into a real beauty, believe me. By tomorrow, I fully expect the share price to rage higher, going above $40 — making me an extremely rich man. With the money I make from this investment, the proceeds can go towards science to help cure diseases, the homeless, and of course starvation.

I envision myself on the deck, drinking gimlets, having my illegal Mexican servants harvesting my crops. I’ll be in the shaded area, away from the skin cancer, whilst everyone else swelters in the hot sun, collecting money for me.

My IQ is so high, it’s almost unbelievable. Just 30 minutes ago I was so melancholy and was behaving like such a drama queen, but now my mood is appreciably better, as I bear witness to a magnificent rally in this splendid Chinese equity.

I AM CHAMPION OF ALL THE KINGS. THE GREATEST COCKSMITH WHO HAS EVER LIVED. ALL SHALL BOW DOWN TO MY EXISTENCE AND STARE AT THE GRAVEL AS I SASHAY TO AND FRO.

Good day.

I report to you as a melancholy man. Markets are betwixt with fear and greed, unsure of its own gender. I tried to tell the market, “Mark you are a man. Get up and dance” and it simply nodded at me and then pretended to put on some lipstick and eye shadow. The subsequent result of this confusion has led my portfolio astray, with only my IQ and a little bit of this PVTL to keep me afloat. Earlier this morning, I sold all of my oils for losses and now I am hamstrung by a slew of stocks saddled by intra-day losses.

The tech sector, as a whole, has market breadth of only 30%. I know — this is the very worst market in the history of the world. Next thing you know, Russian paratroopers will land in DC and occupy the White House.

Even my earlier purchases of AMD and SHSP have gone nowhere. The Lord works in mysterious ways and now it is testing me with capital losses, Frankly, I don’t know what to do with myself. Am I to remain in cash, about 20% now, or buy MOAR? Should I short sell stocks, go on vacation, and never look at my screen again?

The only sectors moving higher today are the banks — a bedraggled sector bereft of dignity and excitement. I’d rather kill myself than be forced to trade in and out of banks. I cannot think of a more horrible existence than that.

At any rate, I hope the close of trade brings forth new gifts of profit, although I am reticent to believe such a thing is possible. The summer doldrums have infiltrated every orifice of the human mind — fixated on perversions and drugs, addled by summer sangria and spritzers. Nobody loves stocks anymore. Sad!

Now that I got all of the bad mojo out of the way, I can really spread my wings and fly up in this bitch.

As you know by now, my IQ is very high — higher by 7% today to above $36. This is a triple upside play for me — meaning it represents more than 15% of my overall portfolio. This is a long dicked position and there is nothing that you or your stupid friends can do about it.

The stitches of time and space are on my side. You and your small peasantry funds are nothing more than an idle nuisance, an annoyance, to me and my people. We buy stocks and dare you to short them, to hurt us, and you can never accomplish anything.

Reason being: you’re all pikers.

Also, I bought SHSP. This is a super micro capped piece of shit with a small float and it’s thinly traded. I do not advise following me into this burning house. After all, the stock has tripled recently and is shooting towards fresh highs. God forbid it should go higher, you and your bandits might need to form an committee in an attempt to fucking stop me.

As an aside, I bought AMD too.

I sold out of all of my oil stocks this morning on this gap lower. No interest whatsoever in guessing the next move in crude. I have NO IDEA what I’m doing in the oil pits.

I will now take my proceeds and invest them wisely in a slew of high beta tech stocks.

In the meantime, you can fade my oil sales and make yourselves a small fortune — for I am certain I just booked marked the top and bottom of the recent range with my inane activity.

On news that Trump will release the SPR, oil is fucking plunging this morning, off by 2.5%. Perfect, because I’m long a bunch of oil stocks.

Futures are flat. England is getting punched in the face — down by 0.9%; and Trump is meeting with Putin in Finland. All that is nice and good, but let’s be honest here; the real news is BTC and the crypto sector breaking the fuck out. Prices have ebb’d enough and now they’re gonna flow.

Look at them run, bro. LOOK AT THEM!!!

BTC is higher by 4% and many others are up more. The lambos are being polished off again, engines revved up. All of the HODL’ers are back in style, wearing their hipster white t-shirt uniforms with their handlebar mustaches. They look like philosophers, but only a lot richer. Real philosophers are poor as fuck, always analyzing shit for free, writing books about things no one cares about.

In other news, my triple sized IQ position is +2.2% in the pre-market. Hopefully those gains will offset the beatdown I’m about to endure in crude.