Scared Yet?

Ooh, U.S. employers slashed jobs, sending the unemployment rate up to 9.5%. Are we about to form the ever ominous “W” formation, with regards to the markets and the economy? Stay tuned friendly folks of the internet; we shall find out soon.

If I was to tell you “there was no surprise in today’s weaker than expected jobs numbers,” you’d call me a “market apologist” and “permabull” (an internet favorite), so I will refrain from doing so. What’s important to note today is my face being ripped off by rabid clowns, completely unexpectedly, due to my long bias. For the day, I am “enjoying” steep declines in [[ERX]] , GameStop Corp. [[GME]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] and Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] —just to name a few. The pendulum of death swings in both directions. Much to my chagrin, it is now stuck in my cranium.

Despite today’s drubbing, I’m not going to throw gasoline on the grill, by shorting stocks here, after a 170 decline. The fact of the matter is, stocks have responded very well to sell offs, in recent months. Therefore, I will tough this one out, like all of the others, unless of course the shadows near my favorite urinal tell me to hedge my positions. Last I checked, the shadows were just sort of standing there, doing nothing.

UPDATE (PPT only): THIRD LARGEST HYBRID DECLINE EVER (statistical data on previous dips of this sort)

by defeating the Canadian hegemony over the blogosphere. Vote iBC.

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Nothing spectacular, just a good start. It’s offcial, we entered the 2nd half of 2009 intact, with the Government in control and Dennis Kneale spewing garbagio towards the financial blogosphere.

“The Fly” entered the 2nd half of 2009 up more than 60%. For the day, he was mostly unchanged, due to some retards selling off Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] on good news. Some might call that “topping action”: I call it a buying opportunity. Truth be told, ahead of the 4th of July festivities, I do not expect much of anything from the market. As dick sucking retards trade in and out of FAZ to FAS, people with moderate to high incomes are planning weekend getaways.

What’s left of my small cap portfolio is worth having patience for, so quit asking if I “am still in.” I think Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Trident Microsystems, Inc. [[TRID]] , [[ENTR]] , Sify Technologies Limited [[SIFY]] , [[CNXT]] and Finisar Corporation [[FNSR]] trade higher; so fuck off with your snide remarks. Remember, my time frame is different than yours, as I do not rely upon making 500 day trades, in order to pay for my cellphone bills.

Going up the market cap ladder, I like GameStop Corp. [[GME]] , Ingersoll-Rand Company Limited [[IR]] , Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , [[ARMH]] , Atmel Corporation [[ATML]] , Arena Resources, Inc. [[ARD]] and salesforce.com, inc. [[CRM]] . My only sector play is in the oil/gas sector, via [[ERX]] : I think it trades up to $37.

At the end of the day, life is too important to worry about head and shoulder top formations. People with lives, and worthwhile events to attend, invest with honor and dignity, which, incidentally, excludes all aspects of technical analysis.

So, we are half way through 2009 and the market is flat. I must admit, I am shocked by how well the market has responded to a flurry of bad news. However, I understand why it is going higher and that is why I am up 60%, year to date, with a very bullish bias.

In late 2008, I made some dire predictions for the market, underpinned by delusions of deflation. I thought, there was no way the credit markets could return, and as a result, commercial real estate firms/underfunded banks would fold under the pressure. Must to my surprise, the exact opposite occurred.

Maybe it was the devils from Goldman or just plain Leprechaun luck, but the credit markets are back in full force, financing all types of stupid shit. Hell, even the ipo market is back. One tell on how the credit markets are doing is via the price action in [[JNK]] . Put it on your little monitors and watch it very closely.

If you recall, I predicted a 50% first half slide in the markets and a monster 2nd half recovery. My year end prediction was for a decline of 15% in the Dow, which is still entirely possible. We have been blessed with some sort of odd version of “investment inflation,” whereby the price of “stuff” has increased due to asset allocation, as opposed to fundamentals. Some people scoff at such a move as manipulative fuckery. However, I view it in a very bullish way.

See folks, money is circulating again and it’s being invested, in a very egregious way. There are strong signals coming out of the technology space, in particular 4g/smartphone/semiconductor names. And, for the love of green shoots and red robins, oil stocks are ripping out the eyeballs of overzealous short sellers.

Going forward, I believe the markets will trend higher, until it is proven the “so called recovery” is false. To be honest, I have no way of knowing if the economy is going to continue to rebound; that’s the whole beauty of this rally: no one knows what the fuck is going on. We’re all sort of throwing shit against the wall and hoping that it sticks. In my estimation, we have at least another month or two of “easy money,” as economic data is obscured by government fuckery and inventory restocking. If the recovery is proven to be legit, we will end the year above 10,000. If not, well, we might see the market go back to the lows.

As a manager of assets, it is my job to gauge the temperament of the market and make directional bets. In my opinion, as long as people have hope, the market will go higher. Right now, much to the chagrin of many bearshitters, this market is chockful of hope.

As for my investment style, it is about to change in a dramatic way. I will be moving away from the randomly selected small cap space, in exchange for a heavy technology oriented theme, as outlined, exclusively, on The PPT. It will be egregiously Godly. And, most importantly, it will be profitable.

That’s all.

Via The PPT, here are the top 50 winners for 2009, thus far:

ball on his chin.

Last time, Commissar Kneale took on the blogsphere, belittling those who write anonymously, while embarrassing some dipshit who called in for a “CNBC one on one.” First of all, Kneale should quit being such a big baby and take the criticism like a fucking man. He shouldn’t be using the CNBC bully horn to even out scores with some bloggers, who happen to think he is a moron. Furthermore, he should understand and respect the fact that some people need anonymity to blog; because, without it, blogging would not be an option, if you know what I mean.

Personally, Dennis Kneale’s on air swagger grates my soul. He is an empty vessel, with too much make up on his face and a fucked up hair cut. I think, if I might so bold, he’d look better with lipstick and a red clown nose; but then again, I’m just some disgruntled (ARGHhhhhhhhh) blogger tossing salt on a few slugs. What do I know?

As for the tape:

Everything seems to be going according to plan, sans Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] . What a bitch of a whore. Nonetheless, the day is young. I believe in magical miracles.

Tech stocks are leading the way up, with gains in [[ERIC]] , Akamai Technologies, Inc. [[AKAM]] , Intel Corporation [[INTC]] , amongst dozens more. In short, it’s time to get your popcorn ready. This fucker (market) is about to leave you cash holders in the dust, while mudstomping those of you who are opposite of Mr. Kneale’s market position.

Across the board, Wall Street analysts upped their eps estimates for Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] today, yet the stock is down. Without a doubt, Gloworm is a buy under $16.

In closing, this is not your Grandmother’s stock market, old pappy. Quit dreaming of dust bowls and get your share of the billions being made.

Top picks: Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]]

UPDATE: In order to show you lowly folks how fair and balanced iBC is: DENNINGER IS WRONG. Karl, I believe Woodshedder is calling you out. Good day to you, Sir.

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Most of you losers are big time haters of The Partnership, better known by you as Goldman Sachs. However, I take great offense to your hatred, as if you were trying to take my heavily salted 2 1/2 inch rib eye out of my plate and into yours.

Let it be known, if it wasn’t for Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , most of you money managers/traders/pikers would be mopping aisle 5, at your local grocery store. Goldman has been of great service to this country, dating back to WW2, and is a source of stability in a very unstable financial world. Don’t you fuckers get it? It is amazing for to read/hear some of the ridiculous shit coming out of your blogs/comments, with regards to how “evil” Goldman is and who they are raping today. Assholes, Goldman has a lot of money and influence. Trying to understand how they operate and why is equal to a small maker of gun holsters trying to figure out the secret r&d behind a General Dynamics Corporation [[GD]] missile project.

It is way above your understanding; so quit wasting everyone’s time with inane rumor milling.

With regards to this alleged “Head and Shoulders formation”: cop a walk fucktard. If the market declines, it will be because there are more sellers than buyers, nothing to do with asshole charts and how they make people feel about themselves. Idiots.

For the day, I was up around 1%, negating yesterday’s losses. My new focus, as outlined on The PPT, will be to build a grand portfolio around a certain theme. To do so, I will be forced to blow out of many of my legacy positions, in order to raise cash for the new investments. Over the next two months, I plan to allocate at least 20% of my assets to this program.

Top pick: Corning Incorporated [[GLW]]

UPDATE: iBC still needs your vote.

First of all, anyone who is long Sirius Satellite Radio Inc. [[SIRI]] needs to have his head examined for fractures. As the smartphone craze continues, apps like Pandora will, basically, eliminate broadcast radio and most assuredly SIRI. After all, why pay for something that you can get for free? Buy an adapter, plug it into your bberry or iPhone and PRESTO: free custom radio, sans commercials.

Speaking of smartphones, the At&t network is taxed, due to iPhone bandwidth hoggers. Currently, iPhone users take up 69% of smartphone bandwidth. That is fucking incredibly ridiculous.

With that in mind, it would be a wise thing for many of you jelly fish eaters to get long stocks that provide network equipment to AT&T Inc. [[T]] . Some names to look at: ADTRAN, Inc. [[ADTN]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , Ceragon Networks Ltd. [[CRNT]] , amongst others. Aside from At&t, the Verizon Communications Inc. [[VZ]] network is stretched too, thanks to Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] and other smartphone devices.

Look people, you need to start thinking on your own. I can’t do this shit all the time, feeding you bastards cogent financial advice, while spitting at technicians who support the idea of “head and shoulder” top formations. As you know, the h&s formation is as real as the Loch ness Monster.

Oh, one final tidbit of information to mention: AT&T Inc. [[T]] is in the process of culling their network vendors, from 100’s to about 40. At the end of the day, this will be a boon for big vendors, like ADTN, Juniper Networks, Inc. [[JNPR]] , Cisco Systems, Inc. [[CSCO]], Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , [[ERIC]] , Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] and Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] , while meaning doom for minor suckers like Sonus Networks, Inc. [[SONS]] . Keep your eye on the ball son and try not to let the catcher kick you in the nuts when you’re not looking.

You are the proud recipient of a Mike Tysonesque upper cut to the scrotum this morning. It’s all over. Run for the hills, pack the kids, put the luggage in the car seats and drive to a desolate area for sweet Jesus safety. Protect your scrotum.

Apparently, based upon consumer confidence data, the economy is still not kicking ass. That’s odd, since no one ever said it was, nor did anyone ever put forth such an egregious argument. I suppose, eventually investors want hard data to back up their insane buying binges. Still, I contend, just because you don’t like stocks, doesn’t means the Dow should be at 8,500. For the love of blue horse shoes, criminals were committing broad daylight shootings in NYC, when the Dow was last seen at 8,500. Granted, that past sentence offers zero reasons to own stocks: I insist, the economy is not nearly as bad as you think.

Nonetheless, today’s set up is of the fucked up variety. I am sure the Dow will slide between 1-2%, sending all into a frenzy. To be honest, as opposed to just lying to you, I’d be remiss to say this type of action usually precedes a longer drawn out decline. With oil dropping like a stone and the dollar strong, the market will have a difficult time rallying today. Furthermore, since today is the last day of the quarter, abject amateurs will sell the market—wholesale—thinking they will somehow avoid some post end of quarter window undressing tomorrow.

In short, I still recognize the current trend and it is up. Anyone who says otherwise is plain ol’ vanilla gay and is well deserving of an electric chair.