HEED CAUTION

This is actually a big deal, the downgrading of France and Austria. However, for the most part, the market is giving it a big yawn, even the sovereign bond markets. Yields are little changed and the market is down a mere 100 points.

Child’s play.

As mentioned earlier, I sold out of my FOSL position–for the sake of raising money. Aside from WNR, I am getting clubbed to death in some other holdings–namely DMND and FSLR. This is to be expected.

I am tempted to sell more stocks, considering the euro is now at a 17 month low. This has to mean something, no?

My cash horde is now 32% and I am down 1% for the day. In the big scheme of things, this is comedic failure for the S&P corporation. Their vitriolic position against the equity and bond markets are evident, as they seem to time their downgrades to inflict maximum damage. If I was the dictator of America, I’d attach magnetic bombs to their SUVs.

In short, we are very overbought and this news can serve as a catalyst for a swift sell off, to the tune of 3-5%.

UPDATE: I sold out of WNR, upping my cash position to 50%.

It’s so hard to go to cash. I look at stocks like CTRP, WHR and NFLX and dream of the potential upside and how it would please me if I were to be long during an epic run. I fashion myself to be something of a sage when it comes to stocks. People tell me things, supernatural shadows at my urinal, to help advance my purpose here on Earth. This may sound way out there, bizarre for some of you, while others may simply accept it as normal activity in a life of a space alien magician.

There are rumors floating around, regarding imminent downgrades of European sovereign debt. Because of this, amongst other things, futures are lower–pointing to a profit taking day. Let there be no confusion: we are overdue a 3-5% pullback. I will be hard pressed to buy anything today and may even sell into weakness.

Temptation to buy dips and make bold market calls dominates my person and has helped me make phenomenal market calls as well as abhorrent ones. This is not the time to be brave, with the euro tanking and treasuries lifting off. The downside risk is too great, following such a run, to buy after a small pullback. I will be waiting for The PPT to go OS before I buy again.

UPDATE: I sold out of FOSL for a fucking win.

Let’s be frank with one another, shall we? I’ve been having a good time at your expense, making all sorts of money, listening to rapping gorillas at work, forcing shorts into untenable situations. The Gods have warned me today through DMND. They DMND my attention and will cut off my WNR if I choose to ignore them. In other words, if I don’t calm the fuck down and listen, my physical form will become a FOSL under my DECK.

Instead of ignoring these warnings, like I have so many times in the past, I will pay homage to them through various liquidations. I’ve made 7% in 2012, 2% more than 2011, and I should be pulling out of stocks, not adding to them–clamoring for grotesque short squeezes out of sheer gluttony. I’ve become a very, very greedy man and that has to stop.

So, starting immediately, all iBC bannings will cease to exist, unless of course you are flagrant in both demeanor and appearance. I will lift any and all bans of people who are currently locked away at the iBC dungeons, providing they email me a note of sincere regret for abusing my generosity.

In a world filled with peasants and thieves, trying to snatch each others chains and murder one another by surprise, “The Fly” rises above and spreads joy and generosity through astounding acts of kindness.

NOTE: if this shit doesn’t help my coin building operations, you’re all banned again.

Another glorious day in God’s year of 2012, led forward by FOSL, Grossle, Tossle and Vossle. I stand before you a successful man. I like to consider myself one, as I’ve worked to that end for well over a decade and change. The magical things seen in the market today and nothing more than reruns of previous tapes. The game is always the same, only the characters change–in this case symbols.

Top picks: WNR, DMND

UPDATE: Apparently prosecutors are “looking into” DMND’s bribery tactics, which has been well known to everyone for a thousand years now. There is a reason why the stock is trading down here. Nevertheless, I will double my position into this decline, should it stick. The premise behind the investment is valuation, irrespective of this inquiry. This is not Enron, at least I hope not. My apologies to anyone who bought it because of me.

I am pushing +1% for the day, thanks to gains in FOSL. My cash was reduced yesterday, with the FSLR and DMND buys, down to 20%. I got my enemies on the run, fossilized, as I prepare for my next win.

I’m throwing cocaine all over my DMND nuts, whilst smoking my peace pipe. It is destined, or might I say, inevitable, that the shares trade north, as it is customary to do so. SHAME ON YOUR HOUSE of deceit and vagrancy for ham and egging it in 2012. You are undeserving of a grandfather clock.

Pardon the redundancy of my repetition. Quit being selfish. This domain is not for you, but for the millions. “The Fly” is on a world stage, delivering winship from Shenzen to Puma Punku back to NYC. Do you argue with the operator of a movie theatre for playing the same film 5 times per day because you’ve already seen said movie? Your needs are in fact secondary to the greater good, which is to enlighten barbaric subhumans as to the proper management of money.

Now some of you delve into the degeneracy of Twitter for stock advice. I partake in Twitter for amusement; but let’s be clear, it is the dark alleyway, un-policed, three miles away from the Estates at iBankCoin. What you see here is financial reason on the highest levels, tailor made and also translated for the masses.

Into the later hours of the day, I expect DMND to start cutting nuts off, rinsing them, and packaging them up in tin cans for your consumption.

I’m playing pool with the testicles (NO HOMO) of FOSL shorts today. Don’t worry, I wear white gloves at all times. I am not selling into this rally. Let it come back down, as the market gives up. I’ve been to the future and know where this one lands, ultimately.

Your grave error was thinking this was 2011. Sir, take a look at your calendar and understand that while Le Fly sips champagne from the 6th floor at Soho House, you are getting pressed like a panini–betting against the man in the time machine.

In Europe, Citi upgraded Unicredit–suggesting it is a “high-risk” investment with significant potential upside. CIT cut off financing to SHLD, citing Sears as an abomination to all that is solvent in retail. This is, without a doubt, an absolute red flag for shareholders of SHLD. I’d sell it with reckless abandon, as bankruptcy looms in the background.

The mafia didn’t cut rates in Europe this morning and US retail sales came in weaker than expected. However, and having said that, I like companies that retail $90 watches to the poor, allowing them to feel a certain sense of dignity. Hence, I am long FOSL.

As an aside, Muddy Waters is looking to GO LONG Chinese burritos. Oh.boy.

I am down 10% on my TZA position and happy to endure further downside, in order to profit on my longs. Understand something, small man, this is NOT a normal market. These runs are always temporary and there will come a day when you look back on these days as bliss. But it’s very important that we milk these rallies to get ahead of the curve. Earnings season is here and there will be horrific shortfalls. My advice to you is very simple: take the gains, book them, and live well.

So the market is going straight up in 2012, led by bank stocks and miscreant solar energy plays. Everything that destroyed capital in 2011 is now replenishing the vaults with new coin in 2012. With the proceeds, Wall Street will be buying vintage wines and exotic animals to be cooked and served at private dining gatherings. Men of industry will buy their wives and mistresses earrings adorned with FL to IF rated diamonds, as the pedestrian VVS1 variety are cast aside for the help to pawn off for petty cash.

A new Gilded Era of decadence and oversupply approaches– only for the people in a position to profit. All others, namely government and non-executive class, will be used for cheap labor to further enhance the EPS of fortune 500 companies.

As you sit there, in sheer amazement, wondering how you will spend all of the money you are going to make–remember to hire private security because the savages on the outside looking in will be tempted to hog tie you and hold your limbs for ransom. Aside from that, enjoy the splendor that is Obamanomics and get ready for the biggest stock market rally the world has ever seen.

Do you want to know why I bought DMND and FSLR? Well, it wasn’t because of The PPT or due to some make believe chart breakout from some imaginary line in the proverbial sand. I didn’t buy them because I heard a rumor from a reliable source or the CEO is related to me through six degrees of separation. I didn’t buy them due to weather trends and/or the prospect that Obama will get reelected. As you know, he is nuts for solar.

The real reason why I bought them is because I own a time machine. You may disbelieve me, as it is ordinary to do so. But, let me tell you, without delusion or fantasy, “The Fly” travels through worm holes and tips coffee cups onto your neatly pressed pants when you’re not looking. Plus anyway, I can, which is the basic essence of success. Being able to do what you want, when you want to, because nothing can stop you.

Pray tell me, how do you intend to stop me?

That’s what I thought.

This morning I had a look at my 45% cash position and felt like spending some. So I dropped millions into FSLR and DMND and now I will wait for these investments to make me richer.

I started positions in both DMND and FSLR.