A reversal of fortune is in the works over at SFLY. Go ahead and take a peak. I’ve sacrificed three chickens and two goats to the stock Gods this morning, in a ritual to increase my riches. Should SFLY close higher today, erasing a 3 point deficit, you will know for sure that I am blessed.
Comments »Guzzling Litres of SODA
Although I missed out on the lion share of the GMCR melt up, having only captured 4-5 points of it, I stand to make a great deal of money on SODA today. Of course some of that will be offset by a most unfortunate drowning of the shares of SFLY; but I’d rather not discuss those vagrancies at this time.
SODA will pop today because of GMCR. Both GMCR and SODA sell their shit in the same stores and retail counter top machinery. Part of the reason why I sold GMCR was because I owned so much SODA (18% of assets). I didn’t want to risk relinquishing my gains in GMCR on a bad earnings miss, which would have doubled my trouble (no team rocket) being long SODA too. Because of this, like a corporate rapper, I sold out.
In other news, I am going into “information black-out” mode today, in order to tune out the noise. CNBC, BBG and my newswires are going offline, to be replaced by Glass’s ninth symphony. I will be listening, ever so quietly, for the sounds of winship and march toward such sounds, clad in teutonic knight armor atop a drunken donkey–wondering why in the world I am long this PIECE OF SHIT SFLY.
Comments »How is this Possible?
Remember when I said I wasn’t gonna look at any stocks?
I lied.
Inside of The PPT, I set up some custom indexes to monitor certain things. What’s perplexing to me is seeing technology shares up almost 50% from their lows, yet raw commodities stuck in mud. When I say commodities, I am not only talking about gold, oil and silver. If you take the whole basket and gander at it: not impressive.
Here’s the chart.
Investors are racing for yield, bidding up closed end funds and bonds across the board. All of the frowns that hit the bond markets in 2011 have turned upside down, from junk to sovereign. Everything is being bid up. We are near the top end of the range here, with only 2-3% points left before we hit new highs. There is something to be said about the character of this rally. It is not based around commodities. We are rallying as if the economy were about to lift off.
Economically sensitive sectors like homebuilders, industrials and pulp paper stocks are airborne. It’s as if the european crisis never existed or will ever pose a risk to the stability of the global banking system.
How is this possible?
Last I checked Germany didn’t give the EU a blank checkbook and Italy still needs to raise a tremendous amount of money this year. Oh, by the way, those Italian bond auctions went swimmingly, which begs the question: who the fuck is buying Italian debt?
I suppose the ECB is propping everything up. However, during the dark days of 2011, there seemed to be a certain flavour of inevitability regarding the insolvency of the EU. I speak to you as an observer, having all but 25% of my assets invested on the long side. The market has been extraordinarily benignant to us all; I hope you appreciate how special this rally is and to take profits from it at once.
You are staring the gift horse in its face. At the moment, the horse is stupid, gnawing on carrots, pleasantly neighing about and nickering until it is fat and tired. Not before long, the gift horse is going to run out of carrots and fashion your nose for one, ripping it from your face, while kicking your chest cavity in with its asinine shoes.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnihJdn786w 603 500] Comments »Whipped Like a Servant
I knew SFLY was going to cut my dick off, yet I held it because my equity exposure was just 25%. During the third annual iBC dinner, The Good Doctor Pearlman (the only “normal” person from StockTwits) suggested SFLY to be a short sale of epic proportions. Playing the advocate for the devil, I queried him about SFLY’s dominance in the Santa Claus picture market. He just sort of shrugged it off as something gentile, then guzzled down some red wine with violent ferocity. At the time SFLY was trading north of $50, now it’s in the mid-20’s and it’s still cutting my dick off.
At the close of trading, I was up 1.5% on my SFLY position. I shall awaken tomorrow, like an inverse vampire, finding that cocksandballs lover draining me of my blood, shitting on Santa Claus in the process.
RELATED: GMCR looks like a win. Fuck me. I sold GMCR and kept SFLY. I should leave town for the rest of the year and send you fuckers postcards from exotic islands, instead of playing this earnings lotto.
Comments »I WILL NOT BUY YOUR HOUSE
Let it be of no surprise to you that I’ve been canvassing the shithole area of New Jersey for a new home. The common theme inside of NJ a is well water, septic tank, fixer upper money pit. When I was looking for homes in North Carolina, I found distinguished homes that were well kept, accompanied by a fucking city water pipeline.
There is nothing redeeming about New Jersey, whatsoever.
If you are from NJ and know a nice town, point me in that direction and I will become your neighbor. If your recommendation leads me to a septic tank or water well, I will spit in your face.
The market should be sold here. Fuck what you see; do what men in top hats are doing: selling. This is a classic blow off top in the making; you just don’t know it yet. I am elated to see SFLY and SODA shuffle higher. But let’s face it, you have to be a fucking monkey with a hard-on to buy this shit, at these levels.
As a result, I’ve stopped looking for stocks to buy. The way I figure, if I’m not looking, I cannot be lured into money losing ventures. I’ve been fucked too many times buying into ejaculation. No thanks; you eat it.
Comments »Patiently Waiting in the Tall Grass
MTW lifting through the sunroof this morning really vexes me. The psychopath analyst from Sterne, who has been pounding the table, saying it was going to $18, is going to be right. Every once in awhile, crazy people take eccentric risks and win. Subsequently, they get rich off those bets.
Futures are sharply higher this morning, based upon the same news that has been recycling for the better part of 2 years now. Greece is gonna get bailed out, blah, blah, blah. What’s important to note, however, are Italian 10 year yields at 5.75%. Most of you were freaking the fuck out a month ago when they were nearing 8%. Cramer was in DEFCON 2 status and his sole source of bullishness resonated in FUN. Now, things have slowed down and optimism has infected the brains of everyone.
But, we’re nearing extreme levels here and upside potential is limited. We may very well trade 30% higher in 2012; but it’s not going to happen all at once. At the very high end of the range, I believe we can trade up 2% in February. If we take 1% today, that leaves us with a poor risk-reward trade.
Nevertheless, I am long two stocks: SODA and SFLY. SFLY posts numbers this evening and will likely whip me like a fucking slave on an egregious earnings miss. However, SODA, on the other hand, that’s another story. That fucker is going to steamroll higher, cutting off heads, arms and dicks along the way.
WHR is sharply higher on outstanding guidance. I am +17% for the year and I carry grenades on me, even when going to the grocery store. You can’t fuck with me, so don’t try it.
Comments »It’s All Coming to a Head Soon
I am very sorry to interrupt the birthday celebrations of living legend, genius, Philip Glass. As you know, he is 75 today. What you don’t know, aside from his soon to be released 9th symphony, the market is overheated and will collapse soon.
Gay people walk through the streets of Manhattan and Richmond, buying toys for kids and for themselves. Gucci stores are sold out because we’re all fashionistas now, even the once tough gangster rapper genre are gentrified beyond words.
“The Fly” spits on this under-class, but represents himself in the finest cloth because appearance means a great deal in this life.
I am sure some of you walk around town in pajamas or oversized Lee jeans, pretending it doesn’t matter. Get your shit together, you disgrace!
Today was meaningless for me. I sold all of my GMCR for a 5-7% gain and bought more SODA. I am waiting for a pop. In my personal, I bought a little TZA and trimmed some of my SFLY.
Bottom line: I now hold a 75% cash position and find myself to be bored, by the market, by you, and most certainly the monotony of guessing.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjQA6rMwDlE 603 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EILxM-e3nVU 603 500] [youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lR9tvIuzF4Y 603 500] Comments »Fly Buy: SODA
I added to my SODA position ahead of GMCR’s earnings this evening.
Comments »Can You Keep Your Focus?
Indeud, I am fixed on this market and will not let up for a second. Similar to hungry mountain lions trapped inside of a ballroom filled with metrosexuals, I am possessed by the meal ahead. I will avoid the mediocrity of consolidation and forge ahead with spectacular wins, designed to dumbfound the vast majority of you into a catatonic state of amazement.
Having sold the principal part of my holdings yesterday, I find myself a spectator, watching you. I find it to be therapeutic– seeing the graffiti strewn across this site, as you scurry about in a fervor to get rich through some slipshod, bedraggled, myopic scheme. After a good beating or two, many of you flood the comments section with cries of anger and misanthropic rage, blaming yours truly for the problems at hand.
Woe upon your person for entertaining that train of thought! You’d be better off eating a few dozen chicken mcnuggets, washed down with an iced cold glass of arsenic than fucking with me.
Nevertheless, I endeavor to tow you to the next level of development, despite your low class ingratitude. It is common for the mezzo cito to demonstrate carless thanklessness, as it is in their nature to be base and without regard for charity. To be upset with people of that cloth is equal to slapping a child for liking cartoons. One must laugh at the baseness of the mezzo cito and endeavor to tow them along, as it is the philanthropic thing to do.
[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqihZwPkkGo 603 500]UPDATE: I sold out of GMCR.
Comments »BREAKING: “The Fly” WINS AGAIN
This just in…
Southern gentleman and scholar, Woodshedder, just faxed me his unconditional surrender with regards to the wholesomeness of McDonald’s mcnuggets. As you remember, Mr. Woodshedder violently defended MCD, comparing its Big Mac sandwiches to Michelin 3 star eateries.
Similar to the confederate surrender at Vicksburg, Woodshedder admits that butane aka “lighter fluid” in his food is not preferable and thereby cedes all rights to independent victory in this argument to the master living in the north, SENOR TROPICANA, where the air is crisp and the people intelligent.
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