iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,466 Blog Posts

There Are No Such Things as Coincidences

Let’s be frank with one another, shall we? I’ve been having a good time at your expense, making all sorts of money, listening to rapping gorillas at work, forcing shorts into untenable situations. The Gods have warned me today through DMND. They DMND my attention and will cut off my WNR if I choose to ignore them. In other words, if I don’t calm the fuck down and listen, my physical form will become a FOSL under my DECK.

Instead of ignoring these warnings, like I have so many times in the past, I will pay homage to them through various liquidations. I’ve made 7% in 2012, 2% more than 2011, and I should be pulling out of stocks, not adding to them–clamoring for grotesque short squeezes out of sheer gluttony. I’ve become a very, very greedy man and that has to stop.

So, starting immediately, all iBC bannings will cease to exist, unless of course you are flagrant in both demeanor and appearance. I will lift any and all bans of people who are currently locked away at the iBC dungeons, providing they email me a note of sincere regret for abusing my generosity.

In a world filled with peasants and thieves, trying to snatch each others chains and murder one another by surprise, “The Fly” rises above and spreads joy and generosity through astounding acts of kindness.

NOTE: if this shit doesn’t help my coin building operations, you’re all banned again.

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47 comments

  1. Bullrun

    Get ENER(gy) going again…up 33% today.

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  2. flyaway18

    Can you promise us something else as you ceased banning around the New Year so this isn’t REALLY going to convince the stock Gods to cut you a break.

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    • MahkBert

      Flyaway18? were you baaaaaned for eating

      <*))sweedish))-{

      LOL PAL

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      • flyaway18

        How did you ever make a FISH out of that, lol? Very creative, but I shouldn’t be surprised 🙂
        PAL

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  3. locobbb

    strangely i was having the same thoughts. time to lock in my 17% gain over the past month, thanks to your WNR suggestion and my stupid BAC pick.

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  4. Yogi & Boo Boo

    Well done sir. I always knew you were a gentleman space alien magician of the highest order.

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  5. zephler

    Bull: I worked at ENER 3 years ago – the company make the worst solar panels on the market and is insolvent – they received their warning about being under a buck for 45 days a few months ago – oh and they have $250 million in debt due next year, yet they have never made a dime in the 30 years they have been around – be very careful!

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  6. Whaler31

    How refreshing. I feel a little better than I did before I read that, senor Fly.

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  7. Yabollox

    Pauly Walnuts was pissed off.

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  8. Raul3

    When you clearly hear the universal advice, listen. Excellent lesson.

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  9. CASHN1N9

    WELLDONE, THE BEST EVER

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  10. Devil Dawg and Cap
    Devil Dawg and Cap

    Now that the bans have been lifted Cap and I have teamed up to tell you all what a bunch of losers you are and watch as the S&P tests 600. Buy FAZ.

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  11. Fifty2weekhi

    Fly, there’s no coincidence. I warned you once before. I own DMND. http://wp.me/p269BP-1K

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  12. fake amish

    coincidences are rather confusing. stereotypes exposed work better as bad omens since they are always in the basic sense true. dont have to guess the meaning and all that.

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  13. dffapa

    We all fall prey to the occasional “CRATER” that is DMND. Let me offer this as your next potential victory video as I’m sure it won’t long. BTW I shorted FOSL today on shear Fuckery! No disrepect or HOMO!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9mFZq-JMfs

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  14. Bozo on a bus

    Oddly enough, my wife started discussing DMND tonight; the company, not the stock. She’s Chinese, and told me there is huge demand for walnuts in China, which has helped push up the price in the US. DMND is apparently a large exporter, and the best quality goes to China. She had heard about some problems, but after I told her about what happened tonight, she thinks the stock is a buy, if one was to hold long-term. She’s been trading for 15 years, so pretty sharp. Opinions?

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  15. The Plumber's Crack
    The Plumber's Crack

    Things are all good at your favorite urinal screen shadow.

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  16. ruggyup

    Sometimes known as “twatability”, the knack of changing one’s philosophy to fit one’s own peculiar needs.

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  17. mancini

    Do you think this was the work of DEVIL DOG?

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  18. CDude

    Sure hope you’re not going soft laying on a mattress made of millions….
    Staying tuned..

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejUARfOR7hE

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  19. JakeGint

    I wasn’t able to even wink at the markets today, yet the gods blessed me with a rare earthquake anyway.

    Sometimes it’s better to be lucky than good.

    _______

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  20. Trading_Nymph

    I feel bullish, lol.

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  21. Paul Redeker

    When you say rapping gorillas, are you calling black people monkeys?
    I mean, Michelle Obama, I’m with you there, but I wouldn’t make it as a blanket statement.

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    • Clint

      Ignorant and racist!

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      • Paul Redeker

        I see your analogy and applaud you sir.
        You are correct, as am I.
        Michelle Obama is a monkey and I am a racist.

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        • Clint

          If you were given the opportunity of meeting her face to face, would you have the balls to say that! You Prick! And yes, I am Black!

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          • Paul Redeker

            Again, I applaud your astute observational prowess sir. If I were in the vicinity of a monkey unable to be controlled with Skittles, such as Michelle Obama, I would be overcome with such fear that the thought of correctly classifying her would not enter my mind.

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  22. JTU

    Fly, are you still planning on doubling your position in DMND at the open if it remains down over 10% from yesterday’s close? It got as low as down over 16% in afterhours trading yesterday.

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    • JTU

      Nevermind, it looks like DMND is already trading up off the lows this morning.

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  23. drummerboy

    thou lord fly,giveth with one hand,and take from the other.

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  24. drummerboy

    hey i posted a comment on your humble pie post. “good band, by the way”. it is part of my thesis as to why i bought dmnd in the first place. and i’m not gonna retype it…….shoveling snow again,.

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  25. Bullish

    Is the Fly really Haley Barbour?

    Haley pardons prisoners while simutaneously the Fly lifts all bans.

    Coinicidence??

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  26. DarthTrader

    Sporting long DK

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  27. youknowitsme

    Sir, I sincerely apologize for my past moronic post that neccessitated my banning.

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  28. 4fl3x

    Master LULU, I DMND you unban Duc**i

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  29. Riser3000

    woooohooooo ! – long WNR yesterday !

    great call!!

    Whan are you guys gonna ask me to start writing/blogging a column here on currencies?

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