I am all for chaos and have enjoyed the Trump presidency so much more than Obama’s boring 8 years of virtue signaling. However, when it comes to money, I tend to be a little superstitious and this sort of shit tastes like lemon.
In the “old days,” when good news was reported, the Stock Market would go up. Today, when good news is reported, the Stock Market goes down. Big mistake, and we have so much good (great) news about the economy!
Please @Jack, stop the President from ruining our great big beautiful titted stock market — and I mean that in the most gender neutral way possible. We simply cannot have this madman out there tweeted shit like this. Doesn’t he have a war to wage with North Korea? They’re such a threat — he should really focus on nuking them.
Had I not been a victim of a most egregious raping in XIV, I would be laughing at those caught in it now. Instead, I find myself in a state of disbelief – yet somehow enlightened by the whole ordeal.
A sacrifice was needed to be made in order to jimmy rig the market higher. Too many faggots were selling vol premiums — living off the fat of the land like absolute pig-faced fuckheads. Those people have now been removed from the field of battle, casualties in a war that is fought on a 3-D Trump chess board.
How does it feel to be a sacrificial lamb? Rather good, might I add.
In case you’re wondering, yes, I am still not eating rotting flesh. I will likely never eat a steak again, let alone a scrawny piece of chicken. “The Fly” sustains himself on gigantic pieces of fish now — living the life of a pirate on the high seas, noshing on sea-weed whilst plundering villages. Right now, for example, I am eating an avocado sandwich with a few piece of lettuce, staring at my crypto currencies. I’m a hipster now.
Stocks are higher by 200+ Dow points today because XIV has been killed. We’re up 800 over the past two days because you didn’t read the prospectus. It makes zero sense lamenting over the details or get angry about criminalities committed upon our persons. We must pick up from where we left off and extract money from this bitch of a whore.
On that note, I am nearly up 2 on this morning’s OSTK purchase. Time to move on and embrace the #NewParadigm, ensconce ourselves in the grandeur of irrational markets thrashing about Wall Street — murdering people in its path.
I must admit, it’s so wonderful to have my XIV position down 99% after the market runs higher by 700. Some might’ve thought such a rally would’ve produced a feverish run higher in the ETN. Alas, Credit Suisse and the mathematicians who built the ETN have truly outdid themselves, nearly breaking the entire market with an instrument spawned from the hottest pits of hell.
Earlier today I read a report from Goldman that read like an old man screed hating on crypto currencies, so I bought some OSTK. There are many crypto proxies out there — but OSTK is the chief proxy — the head honcho. If Bitcoin is back on the way up again, OSTK will move in tandem.
By the way, do not be surprised to hear people start to talk about the correlation between stocks and cryptos. Yes, stocks are rallying today because so are cryptos. Yes, the market began to tank last week after cryptos tanked. There is a correlation — make no mistake.
Here’s a quick rundown on my current tactical holdings, after all of the selling the past few days.
OSTK, KBSF, ESV, LEDS, FTK, XIV and SOXS.
There isn’t anything honorable, per se, about that combination of holdings. By all measures, it reads of mid-life crisis desperation — a man who is still walking around in shorts trying to be cool. HOWEVER, you should know this merely represents 30% of my investable income — chump change, idle clams invested for sport. Most of my money is invested in my quantitative strategies, which have performed wonderfully — much better than anything you’re doing now.
Correction are healthy; it gets rid of excess investors.
We’re working through some overhead resistance and will soon find support.
I’ve been in this business for 1,000 years and this is what a bottom looks like.
Lots of cold hard cash on the sidelines.
The economy is supposed to grow at 20% this year. This is nothing more than an small pit stop en route towards Dow 50,000.
Bitcoin is the future and so is the Blockchain.
Tax cuts, new jobs, and innovation — all good reasons to own stocks.
We’ve gone too far. Soon there will be a buying frenzy and shorts will get their dicks chopped off as we springboard higher.
Make your lists of stocks you’ve always wanted to buy. Take a shot of whiskey. Now buy said list.
There, now you don’t have to watch CNBC today.
Here’s some MOAR news.
Chipotle Mexican Grill downgrade details — to Sell at Stifel; tgt lowered to $250…Investors still waiting for earnings with integrity
Zendesk upgraded to Equal-Weight from Underweight at Stephens
Michael Kors beats by $0.48, beats on revs; guides Q4 ~in-line
Snap upgraded to Buy from Neutral at BofA/Merrill
Apple initiated with a Neutral at Goldman; tgt $161
DPW Holdings reaffirms that it sees FY18 revs above consensus
Intercept Pharma downgraded to Sell from Neutral at Goldman
Charles Schwab downgraded to Sell from Neutral at Citigroup
Cleveland-Cliffs upgraded to Outperform from Underperform at Credit Suisse
Chipotle Mexican Grill downgraded to Neutral from Buy at Mizuho
Snap upgraded to Neutral from Underweight at JP Morgan
I can hear these people in my thoughts, as I eat, as I drink coffee, as I sleep.
“We must retest the MUH lows in order to MUH capitulate and put in a MUH bottom.”
These words have been bandied around Wall Street for generations, by what I like to call “Retest the Lows Fags.”
These are men who amble around Wall Street, waiting for catastrophe, shitting on all recoveries, pitching for a retest of the lows for reasons that are nonsensical to the thinking man.
According to this chart, we have 1,200 points of heart pounding downside left.
While I am cautious about espousing this view, especially since its been suckers bet for a long, long time, it certainly is alluring.
The NIKKEI is +1.6% and fading here. WTI is +0.77%, BTC ripping higher by 16%, and Dow futures are down 212 points.
In light of the XIV chicanery, I felt it was my duty to inform others of the full suite of Credit Suisse ETFs, so that you might avoid them and never trade them again.
In a world filled with endless choices in the ETF world, there is little reason to favor an evil organization like Credit Suisse, a company who zeroed out its volatility ETN after just two days of market tumult, done like thieves in the night in the after hours session.
In addition to this list, VIIZ is another one of their bastards from hell.
In meaningless drivel Credit Suisse inspired after-hours trade, upside volatility is +26%, in spite of the fact that futures are -100.
In case you’re wondering why Credit Suisse is evil, here’s a testimonial.
Market roared higher by 550. It’s hard to argue XIV would’ve been +30% today, when the cathartic moment it failed contributed to the sequence of events that caused the price drop in the first place. It’s a chicken vs egg paradox. In other words, the destruction of XIV was the genesis of today’s rally. The tree of profit, at the altar of the Federal Reserve, needed to be enriched with the blood of traders betting on complacency.
After all, is there a greater evil than complacency?
I think not.
The most important development today was the bounce in Bitcoin and other crypto currencies. They are risk personified and the market didn’t like seeing so many HODLers roasted at once, without respite. We prefer a slow boil to a roast and it’s never a good thing to have too many executions all at once.
Earlier today I sold out of my gold position and a lot of shit and now have only some shit and XIV and some SOXS, which was purchased for the purposes of a hedge and I was not around today to sell it, so now I am stuck with it — like a fool — eagerly awaiting an exit.
XIV closed down a meager 92% for the day, an impressive showing, especially since volatility was in fact crushed as well. My quant portfolio was higher by 2.4%, and that represents 70% of my investable income — so I suppose that’s something I should be pleased with. All in all, today was a very dark and grim day in the annuls of my trading history and I shall always reference and remember the time when the great volatility whore raped me for sport, not for pleasure.
Upside volatility ETF, UVXY, is the opposite of what XIV is supposed to be, and it was down by more than 30% today.
Well done, Credit Suisse. Your sacrifices went better than expected.
Too bad everyone didn’t read the fucking prospectus. I bet some of you swing traders out there are trading stocks today. Before doing so, you better go read those prospecti — for you never know what you’re gonna find inside.
Here’s Cramer finding it interesting that such a devilish instrument, such as XIV, exists.
Let this be a lesson to all of you out there, courtesy of Credit Suisse. Do your homework next time, else end up with zero assets in your brokerage account.
NANEX has a hilarious tool that grades liquidity. According to their stats, we’re not at ‘Lord of the Flies’ tier liquidity.
By all accounts, markets feel broken now, quickly and violently moving between gains and losses. At one point we went from -700 on the futures to a +400 in the opening minutes of trade. I would call that fuckery of extreme proportions.
On top of that, Fidelity and other online brokerages have been down all morning, effectively stopping advisors and retail from accessing accounts to make adjustments. This is probably why markets ripped higher in the morning. There was no one there to sell because all of the fucking platforms were down.
I am paralyzed here and not doing a thing. I have no idea where the next direction is for the day and would rather do nothing than sell into this panic or buy into this lack of liquidity. From my vantage point, I already lost the day — long 10% of my tactical account in XIV. I don’t feel like compounding that loss and error with emotional driven trades, so I’ll probably do nothing.
My Quant account is higher by 0.4%, all of which are mega caps. There is a certain calmness to having a quantitative strategy that correctly adjusts with the market. While I do not believe I can withstand the barrage of selling and actually make money in a down tape using a systematic approach, I do believe I can and will outperform — which is the point.
My chief tells are OSTK and Bitcoin and how that might have a ripple effect into risk acceptance.
In case you were up all night worrying about Credit Suisse and their exposure to volatility, do not worry, for they are completely hedged and haven’t lost any money in their FUCKING DEATH TRAP of an ETN XIV — which is slated for execution from the natural world on 2/20/18.
Wall Street experts now warn to read those pesky little prospectuses before making swing trades in these bastard products. Because, next thing you know, you lean into one of these things for a quick soiree into volatility at $100 and you wake up with this motherfucker at zero.
Any god damned questions? Read the fine print, son, otherwise you’re nuts might be mashed into paste.
Via CNBC:
Credit Suisse said it will end trading in a security that traders said was exaggerating movements in volatility futures markets and even the overall stock market.
The last day of trading for VelocityShares Daily Inverse VIX Short-Term exchange-traded note (XIV) will be Feb. 20, according to an announcement from Credit Suisse. It is triggering this liquidation because the product could not keep up with the scenario it was supposed to track: a calm market.
The XIV security, which had fallen roughly 85 percent in after-hours trade, had been halted pending this news early Tuesday. The security is supposed to give the opposite return of the Cboe Volatility index (VIX), the market’s widely followed turbulence gauge.
Multiple exchange-traded securities that are also supposed to be bets on calm markets were also halted Tuesday morning after losing the majority of their value overnight.
Credit Suisse said late Monday ET that the XIV’s plunge would have no “material impact” on the Swiss bank itself, though a source familiar with the news told CNBC that the investment bank was considering redemption of the ETN but had yet to make a final decision.
Shares of Credit Suisse slumped nearly 4 percent on Tuesday morning amid the wider sell-off in equity markets.
In case you missed the prospectus for XIV, just prior to picking up some shares at your discount house brokerage account before the bell, here’s the print you would’ve loved to have read.
As explained in the VelocityShares prospectus, the company can elect to “accelerate” any of their ETNs, liquidating them early.
“If the price of the underlying futures contracts increases by more than 80 percent in a day, it is extremely likely that the Inverse ETNs will depreciate to an Intraday Indicative Value or Closing Indicative Value equal to or less than 20 percent of the prior day’s Closing Indicative Value and will be subject to acceleration,” read the company prospectus. “If an Acceleration Event occurs at any time with respect to any series of the ETNs, we will have the right, and under certain circumstances as described herein the obligation, to accelerate all of the outstanding ETNs of such series.”
See folks, you have only yourselves to blame. The product worked perfectly fine. There was nothing awry with its behavior. You should expect to lose 100% of your investment between the after-hours session of 4:05pm to 4:45pm, as underwriters cover their OTC volatility contracts, effectively ‘terminating’ your investment. If, by chance, you happen to be long XIV, it’s tough luck — being at the wrong place at the wrong time. After all, Credit Suisse did warn you it could happen. Sure, perhaps they might’ve asked Nasdaq to halt trading last night, in order to prevent others from buying ‘dips’ in the after-hours session — but that was probably just an honest mistake and you can’t really hold it against Credit Suisse — since it’s all there in the prospectus. I swear, it’s all there — every single bad thing that has happened today was there, even the notion that a product trading at $100 could open up the next trading day at zero because it had been terminated, naturally.
Oh, one more thing before I go, UVXY is -31% today and volatility is dropping fast. The otherwise of that UVXY trade would’ve been XIV. The irony here, as the Dow moves from -700 to +400 for the session, is that had XIV chicanery not taken place last night, it would’ve been a winner today.
