Hey You, Stop Right There!

Holy shit you cocksuckers won’t stop emailing me. It’s amazing how many of you talking potatoes clamored for a free trial. You’re the same people who shop with coupons. I fucking hate people who shop with coupons and scowl at them, thinking of ways to kill them.

If you want a free trial, why not crush the email box of my minion? That’s always a preferred solution.

[email protected]

I see the market is up, but I’ve barely had time to see how awesome I’ve been doing. I know CYBR and FEYE are ripping tits, while AGIO is off for the day.

Bottom line: these are the days of you investment lives. And, quit fucking emailing me.

I just learned that there are people out there who invest 2 figures into the stocked market. I imagine these people were lured into the market by that fucking Scotted Trade helicopter, or maybe they wanted to be an “OptionMONSTER”? Either way, these people are reprehensible to me. They go out into the market place and buy like 3 shares of GLW or 1 option contract, while wearing their Gordon Gekko costumes.

What the fuck is wrong with you people, spending lunch money in the market and shit?

Listen to me: you motherfuckers are gonna give yourselves heart attacks betting against stocks. Look at BLUE and BBY this morning. There are 7 million ways for you to blow up your accounts. Choose one.

Put your 60 bucks back into your wallet, Frank, and tell the folks at Scotted Trade “The Fly” says “watch out for them RPGs.”

In other news, I am granting 3 day FREE trials to Exodus, starting now. If you’re interested in testing out the product and possibly get a walk through by one of our sales reps (dependent on their schedule), email me now: [email protected].

This is getting boring. It’s like punching the face of an idiot tied to a pole. After the first 20 or so punches, it starts to get tedious and also messy. I desire hardship. I was raised in the sewers of Brooklyn and require adversity in order to fight harder. If I were to simply live out my days in this manner, I’d get soft (extra Stay Puff) and barely kick any old men in wheeled chairs down idle manholes.

I like biotech and tech. I love HDP and cannot wait for Cramer to hop on board the fucking gravy train, as he always does. I prefer biotech with market caps over 1.5 billion, due to liquidity. And, I have a feeling this market might trade down soon.

You’re probably wondering if the market is set to decline, why in the fuck is Fly buying?

Because I give zero fucks and I already told you how my blood flows: very, very hot.

I made 0.55% for the day.

Top picks: AGIO, N, FEYE, HDP, SHORT GOLD via DUST

I added to both HDP and ALKS, because when looking at my portfolios from the corner of my eye, I saw a little cash lying around. I corrected that in short order.

Pardon this mornings threats of violence against your person. I had things to do and felt as if the blog hampered me from achieving unparalleled greatness. Now that my chores have been completed (extra Sheryl Sandburg), I welcome all of you apes back into the fold and bosom (pause) of iBankCoin.

In case you’re wondering if the rumors are true, yes they are. I am indeud drinking a slimy mugged filled with bullet proof coffee right now, mixed with the greasiest coconut oil the world has ever known. I am also up 0.8% for the day, which places me at the apex for 2015 of +26.5%.

I outstrip you.

My top 5 positions are…

Fuck you. Join the league of gentlemen of Exodus and find out.

Good day to you, from Princeton, NJ, where the air is brisk and people intelligent.

Stop coming to this fucking site, looking for free stock advice. You peanut vendors ought to partake in a little “zero-hedging” and fuck off, so that I can be in peace here. There are too many of you pestering me for information.

I am sure the market is going to trade up or down today. Some of you will be ruined, others attain a false sense of security. You’ll go out there, in the cold cold world, and purchase a new car and some nonsense for your girlfriend. In exactly one year from now you’ll be on the street panhandling again.

Look, I don’t have time for this shit. “The Fly” is a very busy man and he has things to do. Go over to Twitter and play with the catamites and the fiends, or else I’ll shoot you with my Orbital Space Cannon (OSC).

Commodities are back into the sewer pipes, as predicted. I did warn you to stop playing with them oil barrels. Right now you need to be very vigilant with your positions, mindful of rapid rotation. Consider the fact that oil might start heading lower again and remember what did well last go around.

That’s right: restaurants.

Don’t even mention SHAK. The fuck.

However, there are other names to play now. I am still long HABT, but will not add up here. I am thinking about buying DIN (panned cakes) and the poor man’s burrito JACK, and possibly PNRA. Casual dining will work well through the summer months, especially if oil trades lower.

I want to fade gold and silver all day long. And, I want to be selective with biotech. I gravitate towards bigger cap biotech, due to liquidity concerns. I just sold out of ADRO. It wasn’t working. I bought more CYBR and started a new position in ALKS. I will not permit any loss to be greater than 10%.

I am flat for the day and I am sensing a shift in the character of this bull tape. Therefore, I am going to sacrifice 10,000 goats to ensure that the will of “The Fly” is fulfilled. I must have my way and often, as you readily know.

You knew this post was coming. Quit hiding from underneath your desks, lads, and take what I am about to give you like a man.

Last week, I being part of the Exodus cognoscenti, alerted the unwashed crass masses here at iBankCoin to an OVERBOUGHT flag on 3x gold ETF NUGT. The following day the 3x gold short ETF, DUST, flagged OVERSOLD. I told you of that too, accompanied by the algorithms track record. Immediately afterwards, you assaulted The Option Addict’s blog, most likely out of fear of me, with wanton insults upon my person. The lot of you screamed like devils, less than animals, pertaining to a “new bull market in gold” and how The Fly “and his stupid fucking algorithms” were going to burn in the fires of 10,000 hells.

Well, well, well, what do you have here?

Good Sir, you’ve been dispatched, yet again. It’s time to retire off the rocks of Transylvania and live a splendid life, sustaining on an all bat diet. I cannot couch your idiotic behavior any longer. You are a great stain upon these hallowed halls. Only gentlemen of “extreme measure and tenacity” are permitted to park their canes here. Might I suggest you venture off to lesser locales?

The Fly Wins Again.

A good friend told me this company was “the way of the future, the way of the future,’ so I bought some.

Long HDP.

Futures have tempered earlier exuberance, following some stronger than expected economic data. Europe is very strong and the wall of worry is very short now. Of course we are overdue a pullback. Nothing lasts forever, except Orbital Space Cannons (OSC).

I still like biotech here. This morning the CEO of ONCE was on CNBC and talked about their cure for blindness, using gene therapy. We are living in an amazing era of technological advancement, yet some of you bedlamites are buying gold–like a fucking caved man– circa 10,000 BC.

Listen to me: you’re gonna get slapped in the face with a stockwhip, buying gold and silver here.

I want to own several biotechs long term, most of which I’ve already talked about. I missed my shot to buy ESPR. God willing, I’ll be able to buy it on a dip.

I still have some cash on the sidelines and will be looking to allocate it before 11am.