REMEMBER THE PAIN

I tend to get excited very quickly. Just at the sight of a 3% gain (today’s take), I started getting violent, threatening to kill people for offering opposing points of view. Deep down, I am a true dictator, controller of others, a magnanimous leader with a horrendeous temper. But as the day carried on and the IMPV “earnings warning” (that was a God damn clown show), aka BANKRUPTCY REPORT, the feeling of pain started to crawl back into my stomach–the twisting knife inside of my guts, spinning and spinning until I bleed out and die.

So, as the market recovers and your charlatan positions edge higher, I want you to remember the pain. Look at stocks like GIMO and IMPV and understand that nothing is baked in. These stocks have sandbags attached to them and at the slightest hint of weakness, they will take you and your portfolios to the bottom of the ocean to be eaten by octopi.

Aside from all that, I intend to chuck African spears at people tomorrow, abusing short sellers with small brokerage accounts with great energy and vigor!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtFBRJFN3p8

Oh, by the way, The PPT nailed the tradeable bottom to the exact day, again.

With the IPO of Alibaba, Yahoo will net, post taxes, anywhere from 10 to 15 billion dollars.

What do you think they will do with that money?

I added to my YELP position.

Indeud.

The PPT wins again.

Yellen wore a beard and threw a kilo at the market.

Fed minutes were exceedingly dovish.

As you were.

UPDATE: I bought AFOP, BLOX and MA.

You overstayed your welcome, young prince. You got gluttonous when you should have covered your shorts. All of the mouths on the television were moving rapidly a few days ago, screaming atop of roofs begging for you to get out of stocks. These are small men with even smaller balls.

Always remember that crashes are low probability bets. If you are playing for one, you might as well take up a career at professional lottery player too, because you’re destined for failure.

Nothing to brag about here, as I have my face and ribs mashed in real good–battered from these bastard “big data cloud” plays.

According to my bullish game plan, this continues throughout the day, closing near the highs. We might get a final flush out tomorrow or the day after, just to make it a little interesting. Once earnings come out (look at CTCT), showing how incredibly crazy people were for selling growth stocks, we’ll be removing the private parts from the bears again in no time at all.

[youtube:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5mEHXYW1W6A 603 515]

This is from several years back and still applies now.

I just got done reading some of my posts from Sept-Oct of 2011, just to see where my head was at. If you recall, that was the Euro-crisis era, when the markets were collapsing and Zerohedge was feeling his oats. I lost a considerable amount of money during that correction, broadsided by WNR dropping from $17-11. I believe it was a 30% weighted position.

Some of the things I learned when reading those blogs is this:

I was and I guess still am an arrogant prick. I can’t believe the sort of behavior demonstrated in those missives. I promise you, The Real Fly isn’t nearly as obtuse and obnoxious in real life. Something happens to me when I get behind the keyboard. I transform into a demon and a stream of consciousness spills onto the internets. I can write a 1,000 word blog in under 5 minutes. I never edit them and rarely think twice about what I write. That’s why, every so often, a complete jackass appears on the site before you.

Secondly, after getting smashed about in longs, I restructured around WNR and GSVC (protect the head strategy) and opened a series of short positions, as well as raising a large cash position. That’s exactly what I might do here, but only after a bounce.

I love me some four horsemen of financial death (WDAY, SPLK, FEYE and YELP); however, I am in this game to win and my losses of 23% is clearly a steep wall to climb. Keep in mind, total drawdown over the past month stands at around 37%, patently absurd.

The only way I get back in this game is to trade with agility, do it perfectly, and hopefully get lucky. Luck certainly plays a role when investing. It’s important to put yourself in a position to get lucky, however.

Futures are exactly flat, which probably means a catastrophic opening on the opening tick.

If I was short stocks now, I’d be laughing at you pathetic bulls trying to avoid margin calls with this piece of crap, milquetoast “rally”, if today even qualifies as being one. Sure chinese stocks went up, riding on this new found optimism for “emerging markets”, another reason to escape the dreadful brain cancer that is USA.

I know for a fact, several large funds got hit with redemption requests in the billions of dollars. These losers now have to sell, no matter what, because their fund of fund or fickle client doesn’t like BETA. Well, EXCUSE ME, but investing is all about BETA. Most of these clowns don’t invest or take risk. They buy 10 companies with market caps over $20 billion and pray for the best, hoping they will outperform the SPY. If they do, their fund raises big money and they end up making $300 million, for themselves, the following year. It’s obscene.

Today was an L, you pathetic effeminate men, running away from your passion, unable to hold. Tomorrow you will get what you deserve, the full monty, all out rout.

I hope you die.

This market can’t hold its butter. Sell, sell, sell.

Thanks to March, big hedge funds got crushed and are now sending back money. That money needs to be raised. As a result, we get this bid less whore of a market. You’re gonna try to turn this into something it isn’t, based on fundamentals. The only reason why stocks are unattractive today is because they are going lower. It has nothing to do with earnings, macro-economic results, or political tensions.

One month ago, these dogs on CNBC were sucking the knee-caps off of stocks. Now these same people hate them, evangelizing the end of the market because–all of a sudden–we’ve all found religion through Graham Dodd.

PUHHHLEAZE!

I’d rather die than sell any of my four horsemen down here. If I have to die holding them, so be it.

It’s not going to be easy; but rest assured, I will make it all back and then some. I still haven’t had the courage to open up the profit and loss screen, but have seen the damage and it’s around 25% to the bad. Make that a 37% swing from the top, the sort of setback that destroys lesser men.

I don’t know if I’ll make it back with my current positions, or something else entirely. All I know, right now, is this:

The PPT said we were oversold yesterday, “The Fly’s” computerized brain unencumbered by emotion. It’s record is near flawless. Those who use it know not to ignore it and never to bet against it.

It feels good to make back a few percent today; but this is not the time or the place for bragging. I made catastrophic mistakes, all that I regret, but only with the luxury of hindsight. I made all that money last year because of my proclivity to take risk. So far, in 2014, that hasn’t worked out so well. But I know what I own now is cheap and is bound to trade higher. Maybe I’ll lighten up on bounces, or maybe I’ll turn it around and sell it short. Odds are we erase all of these losses and shoot back to new highs, once the dust settles.

I realize you hate that idea, because you’re an ideologue. The numbers have to make sense and valuations must be respected. The market has never worked liked that. We simply ebb and flow between fear and greed, spurred on by cheap credit and trends– or constricted by tight Fed policy.

Rates are still low and this is the best damn game in town.

If forced to choose between the safe rout or the sword, I choose the latter every single time.

Can you say Chinese burritos? Out of all the stocks in the world, this sector is doing the best during this little sliver of respite. I feel like a rat scrambling for a piece of cheese. I’ll knife anyone for 1 or maybe 2% gains.

Here are today’s biggest movers that have been down more than 10% over the past month.

The above stocks do not represent what’s working now, only what’s bouncing. The stocks that have been working are larger cap, based in Brazil, or are part of the power grid–classic defensive names. For this market to truly recover, however, we need the above stocks to go parabolic to the upside, leaving a cascade of bears falling off the mountainside to be eaten alive by carnivorous goats.