The Very Worst in the World

I am going to do something unprecedented this morning. I am going to make a distinction between those of you I am going to kill and the one’s who will be spared. Most of the reading class on the site are good, honest, hard working American bus drivers, sanitation workers, pharmacists and/or lawyers. You go about your days, with your blue collars, scrounging around to make ends meet. You come here to iBankCoin to blow off some steam, glean from my genius, and generally ingratiate yourselves with the splendour and excellence that is iBankCoin.

Persons of regular cloth know and understand we all go through bouts of weakness, even I. Temporary lapses in judgement can lead to terrible, terrible things. But we must pick ourselves up from the dirt and make hay.

HOWEVER, there is a dark under-belly of the unseasonable variety lurking around these halls, like goblins trying to grab your feet in the dark as you attempt to sleep. Pests. These malcontents, misanthropic trulls, are the very worst of mankind. They have the souls of demons, parasitic fainteantise, clog-hopping here and there– for the explicit purposes of busting my balls.

If there is one thing that you can rely upon, being a hard-working, industrious, utility worker/IT services rep/ programmer, is that I will make it my duty to cleanse this site of all vagrant mountebanks. When coming to iBankCoin, understand something: this is my home. Behave as if you were just invited into someone’s home for dinner, and not some wild beast whose intentions are to fribble away aimlessly until you are tossed out on your head.

When it’s all said and done, you can never win, old chap, so quit while you’re still alive.

Futures are flat; but I’m sure today will be another fun filled day for short sellers.

You are all well aware of The Option Addict’s unparralleled skill during roaring bull markets. I’ve never seen anything like it, quite frankly. ChessnWine has established himself as a man who knows when to play his cards and when to fold them, as evidenced by his avoidance of any drawdown–whatsoever–when most were taking line drives to the scrotum about a month ago.

But Ragin Cajun has been killing it since the site launched, back in 2007–almost unnoticed. He’s very quiet, almost mouse-like, going about his business of picking supreme winners whilst bench pressing 400 pounds of iron (he owns two gyms). There is something to be said about a person who dedicates his/her life towards the betterment of their body. I find these people to be motivated, disciplined, and most of the time successful.

Have a look at the recent winners by Ragin Cajun inside of the confines of 12631.

If any of you are on the fence about joining 12631, pay attention to the graphic I just posted above. As industry professionals, it’s imperative that you invest in your research to help buttress your sales, otherwise clients will simply leave–head on over to Bill “Montauk” Ackman’s joint. This is not to say that The PPT (investment tools), After Hours with Option Addict (After Hour’s trading wrap up) and 12631 (real time trading room) aren’t suited for the everyday Joe, desperately seeking to make enough money to take his family to the local Red Lobster. However, I can only relate to those who wear the same shoes that I am wearing and you’d be remiss to not tap into the wealth of information and industry experience that is being shared on a daily basis– within our private halls.

With today’s move higher, my losses are now under 20% for the year, up 17% over the past 6 weeks. I am very outsized TSL and have made sacrifices to the olde gods and the new, so I am not concerned with the future of my endeavor here. I treat each and every purchase as a “deal”, different from how I’d treat trades or investments. Some stocks are designed to be held long term, like MET, ACE and GSK. But everything else is simply temporary, purchased with the sole purpose to further my comeback.

Once I made back all of my losses, I intend to kill a great many of you, some shot through my trebuchet, others skinned alive and catapulted off castle walls.

The markets are good from here until mid-July. After the dip, we will buy it up until late August, when we will go to cash, seeking refuge in government bonds.

Until then, happy hunting!

NOTE: How’d you like my ECYT purchase?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRWVxiXOMbc

So many of you small men were fixated on my losses a few weeks ago. You spent inordinate amounts of time trying to figure me out. I will keep this very simply and clean for the lot of you to understand:

“The Fly” wins all the time, especially when it appears he blew his arms and legs off for good.

Control yourselves and please withhold the applause for later. I have work to do, all pertaining to the art of a comeback.

Top picks: TSL, ANGI, MET, DRNA

I sold out of my TEDU, locking in magnanimous 30% gains, swapping into an average up into the wonderful and whimsical shares of TSL.

Target: $14-15.

NOTE: I started a small position in ECYT too.

I heard on BBG radio this morning, as I drove my kids to school, that France is enjoying the lowest rates since the 1740’s? If so, I want to know why rates were so low back then, with all of those barbarians running about cutting each others heads off?

Anyone?

Markets are soft on the open; but do not expect them to stay down for long. On the other hand, do not expect any significant upside either. We haven’t had a 1% day in over 40 trading days, which is lending to the steady deterioration of the VIX. By the way, is there any better investment than XIV (inverse VIX)?

I’m just a little skeptical here. I don’t like to follow the herd for too long, as it makes me very uneasy. When the markets were dropping, I refused to jump onto the world is ending bandwagon. Now that everyone loves stocks again, I am on edge. I’d feel a lot better if I could buy a shallow dip. Nonetheless, I almost fully invested here, with less than 5% cash. I am overweight biotech and will be vigilant to take profits and cut losses quickly.

Let’s assume that the wretched decline in ‘bubble stocks’ a few months ago was a harbinger of a greater doom to follow. I believe it’s fair to say there was nothing ordinary about it. The result was CATASTROPHE! strewn out across a Wall Street more accustomed to ribald field parties than preservation of capital, myself included. A minor drop of 50% across the board will make people change perspective, seek out a higher being, and generally despise the day they decided to take the series 7.

But here we are, a month or so removed from the second coming of the dot com crash, and everything is firing on all cylinders again. The monsters who once infected my comments section, declaring that I’d never pick a winning stock again are all but a memory now, following a string of wins reminiscent of last year. The base ingratitude that unleashed a hell-fire of death threats from yours truly has morphed into happy tidings and greetings from atop the capstone, bestowing a cornucopia of well-timed investment ideas.

Let us assume this is all a pre-requisite for a much larger, hideous drop, one that intends to catch all sleeping and with pants down. I believe there is a roadmap to be followed and I am about to give it to you.

NASDAQ Circa 2000

Feel free to peruse the data in the link provided above. For those of you who are unable to read, being stupid, raised outside of barns and small Canadian towns, feel free to ask others in the comments section to describe it to you. It’s important that you understand your history, young Prince, for I believe we are going to repeat it.

I will squeeze what I can from the market and heed caution by mid-July. After a small dip, I will redouble my efforts 100% long and squeeze some more until late August, when I intend to reverse course and go short. The circular narrative will be complete by October, as the homosexuals on CNBC trip over themselves to describe devastation designed to relieve retail from their dollar denominated assets.

In the meantime, I like PRTA, TEDU and SGEN for the win.

We’ve enjoyed estimable gains these past few weeks. To indulge oneself in the felicity of his dreams is to be long the stock market during times like this. Sadly enough, my TEDU reversed off its $12 high, but still stands at a robust +30% from my basis in little more than a week.

All of the David Einhorn bubble basket stocks are through the roof today, led by FEYE and SPLK. It’s an important distinction because not much else is working. It’s suggestive of the sort of chicanery one would expect in a tape that is readying to rip heads and peni off. If I was a little short seller, discussing the bold characteristics of Wall Street 2.0, I’d cease to exist at once. There isn’t any hope for a bear in this tape.

Might I suggest an alternative?

Despite it being 90 degrees outside, go make yourself a fire and pull up a chair close by. Drink some of your finest brandy and toast to better days. After you’ve completed your brandy, wrap yourself in a thick burlap blanket and toss yourself into the fire. The Lord of Light will appreciate this sacrifice and look after your loved ones when you’ve been reduced to a small piece of heart muscle.

As for me, I am up about 0.5% for the day, lowering my losses to manageable levels. Very soon I shall up the ante and make larger bets.

UPDATE: I sold 25% of TEDU position and bought PRTA.

The epic run in TEDU continues.

My winshippery continues.

COV is being acquired by MDT.
SNDK is buying the company of Steve Jobs’ retarded old partner, FIO.
LVLT is buying TWTC.
LLNW has received a bid from a “questionable source.”

The hits keep on coming. We’re no longer beholden to childish things, such as earnings. Therefore, the market is free to run like naked people on the beach. Granted, the Iraq situation is somewhat troubling, to say the least. Being the #2 country in OPEC, Iraq stands to make a lot of oil men plenty of money and soon. God willing, that dirt filled nation will descend into anarchy, as large swaths of armed “George Washingtons” make their way around Baghdad shooting at government officials. The price of oil will skyrocket to $150 per barrel, sending the prices of your favorite oil stocks through the roof.

We’re all super capitalist now, so it doesn’t really matter, does it?

With oil going higher, I expect solar to do even better. It’s trading like a leveraged play on energy and has always correlated nicely with an up market. I like TSL until $15.

There’s all sorts of crazy things happening this morning, like BLUE up on astounding clinical data and IMAX approving a large share buyback. The world is awash with liquidity. Are you man enough to take it?