The Secret Crash Continues to Crash

I should’ve heeded the warning of the great polar bear who kept eating me in my nightmares. That feeling of “impending doom” has turned into a reality, as I stare, almost helplessly, at a screen that defies reasoning.

There aren’t any bids in the NASDAQ right now. None.

From AMZN on down, this is a rout and I have no idea when the selling will pause.

Over the past month, the “best stocks” of 2013 have been taken out to the woodshed and executed. There isn’t a better way to describe it. You are looking at how a bubble looks when it pops. The constant selling, the sheer spectacle of the unknown coupled with the unbelievable causes people to freeze up and just watch.

It’s bid less, no hope. Hedge funds, without a doubt, are being liquidated over this secret crash. Over the weekend I will do some digging into who is being hurt the most and try to deduce what stocks might come under further pressure due to forced liquidation.

I envy the day traders, the degenerates who get flat every day, only interested in making enough money to pay the rent. I am losing a fortune here and I truly do hate my job, more than anything else.

This carnage was too much for “The Fly” to bear. Therefore, he had no choice, whatsoever, than to break the glass in which this fine African Tribal mask was hidden, for the purposes of wearing it while trading.

I repeat: THE AFRICAN MASK MODE HAS BEEN INITIATED. The last time this happened, heinous things happened to short sellers.

Off to consult with my Voodoo physician.

The futures guys were wrong. The market has quickly given up all of its opening gains and is now taking on water. It’s probably not a good idea to believe in miracles, upside reversals when there are so many people crushed by the downside action in widely held stocks.

YELP, FEYE, SPLK and WDAY are being sold every which way but loose. It just feels like one gigantic unwind, detached from fundamentals, a matter of necessity if anything at all.

This is a very diseased and sick tape, despite the broader indices clinging onto new highs. That makes this clandestine drop even worse, the hidden secret under everyone’s noses is that things are not going swimmingly and it’s important that high growth stocks perform in a healthy market.

Unreal carnage. Let’s see if we can get a final flush out.

Futures are ripping higher because the economy only added 192k jobs for the month. The sages who bought up futures have deduced, in their infinite wisdom, that a weaker economy means The Fed will keep pressing on the QE pedal. I contend, in no uncertain terms, rates will NEVER go higher again–because the government has to service $20 trillion in debt. The only way rates are going higher is when we start paying down the debt.

Any guesses as to when that might happen?

WDAY caught two bullish notes this morning, one by FBR and another by Oppy. In summary, the analysts both said you people were retarded retards for selling WDAY, since their pimp hand is super strong and their game with the ladies is unmatched.

I don’t want to count any chickens before they’re hatched. I think a lot of sellers got flushed yesterday; but one can never be too sure. Whoever sold short beaten down growth names yesterday has to be feeling a little uneasy today. Of course they won’t feel the pain until these stocks base out and start climbing again. That could take a long time.

My best guess: growth stocks make a considerable comeback one week before their earnings are set to report. Who the hell wants to be short WDAY, with the stock down $30, in what appears to be another knockout quarter? The risk reward simply isn’t there for aggressive bears.

Well I’m not bored anymore. I was complaining about the lack of challenge in the markets. It was too easy and I wasn’t interested in the ordinary. Now I have my hands filled with some good olde fashioned BIG ASS LOSSES. I have stock market experts offering me financial advice in the comments, as well on Twitter. This is exactly the sort of thing that I relish, sans the specter of having a disastrous ending.

I’ve always managed to come out from every catastrophe unscathed. Naturally since they occurred in the past, some of the newer readers aren’t familiar with my pedigree and therefore default to thinking “this guy is doomed.”

Young Prince, I am far from doomed. I can buy Splunk down to $2 per share. I have what they call “staying power” backed by what one might call “real money” and it isn’t going away. Either way, the people of this site, the reader, will come out a winner, by watching me navigate the impossible or a front seat vantage point at a blow up, a guide of sorts through tough sledding.

I’ve already made my bed, pal. There isn’t anything left to do. The wheels are already in motion– and my machinery is heading downhill with the momentum of 20,000 maglev trains. I have some cash to put to work and have made it my business to trade out of these homosexual positions unscathed, without being raped by them.

During panics it’s important to expect the impossible. Stocks behave crazy because crazy things are happening to the people who own them. The snap back, whenever it occurs, is going to be violent. All of the panic selling will cease, pause, then a buying frenzy will ensue.

Any questions regarding the market should be forwarded to “Honest Abe”, as he is now your go to guy for stock market commentary and opinion.

Off to Romania.

UPDATE: While at the airport, on my way to Romania, I averaged down in WDAY, YELP, SPLK and FEYE.

I see my bad fortune has brought out the most fashionable folks to comment on my blogs. I am deeply humbled and grateful to see your commentary. One might say, I am undeserving of your grace.

I wasn’t being sarcastic when I said “I’m done.” I had a feeling these stocks that I happen to own would drop off the table again. It’s the exact opposite of a short squeeze. You know when a stock is running and it has a big short position? You know how that helps to fuel further upside? Well, when a stock is careening lower, it takes out all of the guys who bought it on margin first. After those guys are finished, it starts to take out the traders and then finally the believers. I went through this process in a number of stocks, most recently in WNR.

Any of you remember when I averaged down in WNR at $11 from $17? Eleven was the absolute bottom and after that last round of selling was done, the stock never looked back.

This is a little different, only because the underpinnings are a bit more liberal. Valuations are still high, even after a 30-40% drop. People are referring to these names, the very names I happen to own, as the centre of what they deem to be a bubble. Bubbles stocks aren’t treated with decorum on the way down.

All jokes aside, I have two choices in front of me.

1. Keep the faith and hope to baby jesus that these stocks find support.

2. Book the massive losses and hope to think of a way to make it back elsewhere.

The primary reason why we hold onto our losers is the fear that we will miss the upswing. We feel the stock has eyeballs and is waiting for us to sell in order to bottom out and scream higher. After we sell, all of the hopes and dreams we had for the stock will come true and we will never forgive ourselves for not seeing it through.

Naturally, this is fatalistic thinking and is never a reasonable approach to managing money. A line in the sand must be drawn because the future is always a mystery. We can make educated guesses about it; but it’s never assured.

So this is my final stand. I can afford to absorb a little more, with nothing more than idle hopes of seeing them bottom out soon. I know this is a futile endeavor because carnage begets more carnage and there isn’t any reason to hold onto broken stocks, unless of course there is a short term catalyst.

Futures are flat this morning with a slight bias to the upside, which can mean only one thing: significant downside “pinaction” in all of my names.

I’d like to take this opportunity to give a “shout out” to YELP for trading down a buck plus in the pre. I’d also like to acknowledge SPLK and say “where the hell do you think you’re going?”, up in the pre, when it should be lower by 6%. Shout out to FEYE for providing myself– and my family– with some big ass capital losses. I couldn’t have done it without you. Last but not least, I am delighted to see WDAY getting drilled into the dirt, a company whose management hasn’t missed an earnings estimate in two decades. This has truly been one of the great surprises of my life and I wouldn’t be where I am today without any of you wonderful stocks.

I won’t be making my money back anytime soon. As a matter of fact, it was never my money to begin with, if you really want to get technical. I am up 100’s of percentile since 2004 (my last down year), so taking my recent setback into a larger context: this is nothing more than child’s play (extra puma punku).

You know what annoys me? WordPress’ spell correct. These stupid bastards constantly get in the way of my blogging literature and it’s starting to really piss me off. That, and the fact that my arm keeps spazzing out, twitching like I have cerebral pals–I feel as if I was in “Black Hell”, burning until my skins turns into black toast– fire, destruction, crashing pianos overhead. This is my world, chaos, and I am its host.

What would you have me do? Shall I go venture off and look at the charties and implement stop loss orders on stocks that I am already 20% in the hole? Or maybe I should “go to cash” or perhaps “rotate out of good companies into the bad ones” because the fucking brain trust that is Wall Street “feels” it’s a good idea.

Shall I cackle like a hyena and bAAAAAAAA like a sheep when I do it?

Bear market. People think this is it: this is the one. After all, the market is only at NEW ALL TIME HIGHS, so it makes sense to believe this is the peak, the very tippy top that shall never be breached again, just like 2001 and 2008, but 6.02214X x 10^23rd stronger.

How bad is the damage to my boat?

It’s not fatal, but it’s bad enough that I haven’t looked at my profit and loss for a week. I do the numbers in my head and have a round about idea of how stupid I am. I think, if I’m not mistaken, I was down anywhere from 2-3% today, spared thanks to strength in EGRX, ANGI, FLXN and a few others.

I haven’t any recommendations for you tonight (I am so very sorry), as I eagerly awaiting the locust storms to settle in above my head, delivering heinous earnings shortfalls and guidance cuts, the likes that hasn’t been seen since the outlook for tulips in the spring of 1637.

I’m done. There must be some sort of lunar-linked conspiracy to rid me of any semblance of money, leaving me to become a vagabond scoundrel–fit to roam the streets for food. This isn’t any way to make a decent living, troubling myself with rapish declines in “the very best stocks.” I do have some offsetting measures today, in stocks that I do not dare mention on the free blog for fear that my conspirators might plunge them too. But this is entirely evident to me, as well as others (HORATION CLAWHAMMER, PLUTONIUM PETEY, SENOR TROPICANA) that something is seriously amiss here.

How in the devil could SPLK, FEYE, WDAY and YELP all be down 5%+, on the same day, without news, and with a neutral market? I must be losing my mind because I can’t think of any reasonable conclusions. True, there is weakness in a number of growth names, in favour for the non-growth names; but this, this is too much.

I hereby lift the burden of having to deal with my problems from you forever. Go, go on and run away. Leave and save yourself from whatever plague, black death, that has afflicted me. At this stage, I can only offer you pain and agony and the bitter taste of defeat.

I’m the guy with the broken leg telling his friend to “go on without me” as the enemy horde closes in for the kill. Save yourselves, God damn it, and remember the good days when we used to make money on the internets–playing the game the way it was meant to be played.

For all I know, it’s those damned HFT guys rigging the market against me again.

Maybe I’ll write a book about it.