LET’S COLLAPSE THIS BITCH

Good day —

Today we bore witness to a most grotesque market reversal and hundreds of stocks falling by more than 5%. Before we gain erections, you should remember that all market drawdowns, at least recently, has resulted in a mean reversion lift.

The difference is, this go around being different and all, JOE FUCKING BIDEN IS BRAINDEAD and the bond market is in turmoil — as the Federal Reserve fixes itself onto America’s middled class in a most deleterious manner.

I am trading small — but closed with a 10% hedge in UVIX. My intent or goal is to profit from America’s financial collapse. If that should not materialize, I also intend on profiting off sharply higher stocks.

All bear markets start somewhere. Let’s hope today is the start of something truly terrible.

The bond market is speaking volumes about the present situation. I had been sanguine on recent events, given the collapse in inflation. HOWEVER, judging by the US 10YR soaring above 4% today, up 17bps, I am once again motivated to remind you that PAX AMERICANA, as you know it, is most certainly over.

Whilst the NASDAQ is down just 42, the small capped index is off by 1.3% in line with the Stocklabs 4000 — down 1.4%.

Listen to me very closely.

There is a fever boiling in Ukraine that isn’t exactly favorable to the alliance. WTI is up 1.3% and the Euro is down 0.9% against the dollar, suggestive that the move yesterday was nonsense and the FOMC will hike some more and soon.

With VIX barely $14 and so much fucking risk out there, the easy play here, inexorably, is to sell this shit fucking short into the ground.

It’s pretty god damned hot out there — must be all of that global warming caused by hairspray which is preventing me from not being a little bit cooler. The market might appear to be boring, somewhat listless, but this is the process of consolidation that precedes another big move.

We must assume, as much as it pains our hearts, that markets will BUST LOOSE to the upside again. Do not get mad at me, for I am just a messenger.

I’m back to a most austere form of living — sustaining on about 1200 cals per day NO FUCKING BOOZE EVER and some form of working out every single day. I will do this as a penance for becoming so rotund. If just tuning in, I recently found out I had gained 10 pounds without knowing, most likely caused by leading a hedonistic lifestyle of being a foodie and generally stuffing my face with treats. Well, those fucking days are over and I will soon resemble a skeleton with people fearing for my well being.

I’m +12bps today, with zero trading other than a few random things. Markets are in full TRICKERY mode and I ought to be careful with it, lest I too might fall into a drum of gasoline and rolled into an oven.

The giant piece of shit hated by all at Facebook has beat estimates again. I happen to own META in trust accounts — because monopolies are easy to profit, hard to destroy.

The ghettos of the internet are immensely popular for both owners and creators, filling an echo chamber with well wishes and inane perversity to placate an otherwise listless and un-demurred generation.

I traded light, kept hedges, lost 21bps. It’s easy to lose money in markets ill designed for your trading habits. This is not my market — but I’ll adjust soon.

So the FOMC hikes and rates went down. What does that tell you?

We’re at 5.5% and the Fed is committed to striking against while the iron is hot to “defeat inflation.” This is going to 100% rain fire onto the economy in about 6 months time. I remember in 2007 when this shit happened last and all of you faggots were joyful and gleeful and ignored the warnings signs — and then we fucking collapsed full fledged into the gates of hell.

We’re not there yet — obviously. No one gives a fuck — certainly not you. The gameplan for most Americans is to live as fat off the land for as long as possible and then drop dead. This has been the stratagem for the past 40 years, as we’ve lived FAT and sloppily off the civilization HANDED DOWN to us from a more industrious people.

Whether it happens in our lifetimes or not is unknown. But, rest assured, it’s gonna fucking happen and a Black Plague will sweep the lands and take with it all of the material items and resources with it.

This might be a bit much for a slow afternoon in the midst of America winning the war against both Ukraine and Russia.

I am hedged, heavily cashed up, not interested in being fooled — off to ride some fucking Go-Karts.

Think about it: who the fuck do those bastards think they are — raising interest rates on us — costing us inordinate sums of money all because the Federal Govt handed out checks to the poors, all because they shut down the economy because of the flu, all because they grifted and schemed with MRNA makers to both injure and steal from people.

I know some of you CUNTS believe the govt is this innocuous band of patriotic morons who’d never intentionally injure people for profit. What makes you so sure of that? If I told you they were all space aliens with zero attachment to humans in America — would it be more believable then?

Here’s the deal Jack — the Fed has gotten away with a lot of murders and they’re about to hike rates again today, as unbelievable as that might seem. The CPI is already down to 3% and those CUNTS, because they want their policy to come to fruition, will not stop until the CPI is 2%.

What that means for the rest of us is higher rates for purchases and/or higher cost of money period. The good news is, many of the people here already have money. The bad news is, your kids who are just now entering the workforce are 100% fucked.

I got back from my beach excursion — where we cavorting for a short while on the sands until the lifeguards quite literally flew the black and declared the beach a “dangerous hazard” warning all to leave immediately due to “lightening storms being 6 miles away.”

What does one do when one hears such a thing? Do we wing it and simply enjoy more sand and sun — risking getting struck down by Zeus? OR, do we make a beeline for the car and depart? The lifeguards all left post haste — leaving their fucking black flags flying above their little huts.

After some debate, we decided to leave early and of course it never rained and no one got electrocuted. Those fucking cunts.

We then ventured off to the most “awesome and amazing” Viet-Thai restaurant in Wilmington, NC — which sounded insane to me. Viet-Thai food isn’t even that good. I’d rank the very best Thai food in the world like 10th best world cuisine overall. We went, we ate — it was mid.

My portfolio actually recovered much of the early losses today — leaving me with losses of just 37bps. I am still long old man stocks.

Speaking of which, I am now cutting — after finally finding out today I was a fat fuck — having gained 10lbs recently without even knowing. If all goes according to plan, and it will because I am the most driven and stubborn person I’ve ever met, I’ll be back to kicking people into their faces by October — with both legs — stomach flat and ready to absorb return kicks to the gut.

I haven’t thought about the war or stocks much today — since I’ve been busy with other things — such as OBAMA PERHAPS MURDERING HIS FUCKING CHEF!

I am running late this morning, en route to the beach where Mrs. Fly rented some bikes for us in order to fully rip apart my ACL. I am positioned wrong this morning — since risk is on and I am off. My positions, for lack of a better term, are fucking stupid. I am long KO when I should be doing coke. These things happen.

What’s important to know is — I meant well. I truly did. I positioned into these olde man stocks with the intent of capital preservation and ended up blowing myself up, down 88bps.

The thing is, if I switch now to high growth — we might reverse the fuck lower and I’ll truly hate myself as I cavort Le Playa with my trunks. Also, I sort of like these old man stocks. I am entitled to hold them down for more than 2 days, no?

One last thing before I go — I need to lose about 7lbs. I weighed myself this morning and it appears that I am a fat piece of shit. I am usually quite good about fitness — but I suppose stuffing my face with pizza pies and chocolate eclairs isn’t exactly the sort of lifestyle on par with being thinner — looking better. I only tell you this now — because I truly didn’t know. I thought, perhaps, I was 2-3lbs fat. The truth is a lot grimmer than I had previously thought; ergo, I will now begin a cutting regimen of draconian measures.

It’s quite easy to lose weight — but it will be a challenge with just one leg. See, my ACL is most likely torn to shreds. I say “most likely” because I never bothered to visit a doctor who is likely to attempt to cut holes into me. Nevertheless, in spite of my new handicap, I will cut down 10 pounds and achieve my fighting weight by October 1st.

OFF TO THE FUCKING BEACH, where I will not be eating iced creamed cones and various fried foods.

I’ve been listing for the past few weeks, mostly voluntary, as I’ve been disinterested in the tape. I closed at session lows -66bps and have 115% of my equity exposed, with a 10% short. This blend that I have isn’t designed for gains — but preservation of capital. I truly believe a pullback is imminent — but I do not have the balls to sack up and go net short yet.

Ergo, I hide in risk averse stocks, trading sparingly, hoping for resolution.

Let’s face it, the market has been wonderful and if it “consolidated” a little bit — no one would lose sleep over it. August looms and then after that the horrors of September.

On the other hand, I have no evidence to support these hunches. Markets are close to annual highs and all of the doomsayers have been dispatched. My pause is rooted in my desires and my desires are because of some fucked up episode of my childhood. I am fully aware of this and constantly beat against the current.

Let me be clear: I am not net short. I am actually positioned very bullish. But the VIX is low and the waters are very calm. Tomorrow I am heading to the beach for a day of relaxation and will likely trade very little. But in between frisbee tosses I will lurk and look and make sure my positions aren’t getting wrangled.

Slow trading day for me, out of choice. I see the rotation into oils and ag and other risk averse names and posses some reticence about chasing those fuckers into the sewers.

Let’s be frank and honest here, shall we?

Russia isn’t going to “freeze Europe” unless it truly has to. Why not keep collecting dollars and Euros from your enemies whilst you can? The only true occasion of Europe freezing will be when a hot war busts loose between the homosexuals of NATO and Russia. Until then, Urals crude will trade at a steep discount to Brent and all major rallies in oil sticks thwarted by magical fucking forces.

These same magical forces, sorcery even, keeps everything going rather swimmingly. It would BEHOOVE you to bet against the dominant forces of the GLOBOHOMO.

As you sit there in your plush leather chair enjoying a scotch and cigar, thinking about Barbie, just know that to speak out against the GLOBOHOMO is on par with racism or even worse TRANSPHOBIA. As a good pagan fearing American, you should simply accept these new brave policies as progressiveness and embrace the plummeting IQs and dilapidation of PAX AMERICANA as an organic means of destroying something that was once great — but no longer possesses the eternal fortitude to fight.

Those who cannot fight will eventually be defeated.

Down 42bps, no hedges at the moment.