iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,312 Blog Posts

100% LONG — WHO CAN STOP ME?

I spent the day becoming what I hated most — a transgendered bull. I bought all sorts of stocks, cavorted amongst like minded folk — felt a sense of gratitude for Joe Biden for providing Americans with the “4th cheapest Thanksgiving meal on record” and felt genial to the broadcasters on CNBC spewing meaningless markets propaganda.

It suits me well, being very long and bullish. I reminds me of the olden days when I’d wake up, spring out from bed, and buy stocks until my fingers hurt. On sell offs I’d buy more, leverage into my accounts to the max and just sit and wait for markets to turn around and they always did. I was amply rewarded for my loyalty, except for the one time markets collapsed and never came back. For that, I zeroed the fuck out and went back to the poorhouse again to start anew.

But that isn’t going to happen this time, as I am much smarter, better equipped, seasoned even, to deal with the pangs of market volatility.

Some of my bearish colleagues are quite disturbed by my bullish ways and have attempted to intervene on my behalf. They tell me “Fly don’t be tricked. The market is going to crash suddenly and all will be lost.” When I hear this sort of rabble out from the mouths of morons, I feel a sense of gratitude for not being them.

I will do as I like when I prefer to do it.

At the end of the day, this is all very trivial for me — colossus waste of time. What am I achieving here? Trading stocks is akin to playing a video game and to be good at a video game isn’t exactly a life of achievement and honor. I am a mere speculator, second rate at best, squandered the best years of my life behind a computer in search of truth. The truth is — this is all fucking stupid retarded bullshit.

I makes the money. They takes the money. I makes more money. They takes more money. It’s a giant circle jerk of monumental proportions and yet I cannot stop doing it — most likely because it’s an addiction.

How wonderful.

Time to fuck off now. See you catamites tomorrow.

If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on Twitter

One comment

  1. chuckem

    Huzzah!

    • 0
    • 0
    • 0 Deem this to be "Fake News"