iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,376 Blog Posts

Dude, Bro, Dude, CA$H-mere

Gretzky House!

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-CGXqRsqr6I 550 400]

Indeed Update:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lo77x4VeoQE 550 400]

Bro Update:

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yl6JCr_cSuU 550 400]

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Bears Step Into Glorious Murderholes

In the words of a true legend, Leonard Dykstra, “I made cash, bro, all thanks to my cashmere, dude. It was the fucking cashmere (fart) that made the market go up.”

Contrary to what you may think, I do not like all of the giddy, school girl shit, which is infused into current market sentiment. Eventually, the magic carpet will be taken from you lucky bastards,absconding all of your principal with it.

However, until that day comes, I will enjoy, with great vigor and tenacity, kicking you idiot bearshitters, into large murderholes, whereby your carcasses will be devoured by rogue robot crocodiles.

For the day, I made coin. You should be concerned with the affairs of “The Fly,” for he is way out of your league. Just know, my gains reach close to 30%, year to date, and my book of business has never been better.

Tonight, I intend to dine on a 2 1/2 inch ribeye, medium, heavily salted, lightly peppered—washed down with a fine Bordeaux.

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Wax On / Wax Off

In light of the stupid stress test non-results, I am taking off some risk here, selling ALU, JDSU, amongst others.

Clarification: I am taking profits on some names, while buying others. In other words, I sold ALU/JDSU, but bought some ATHR ($16.68). I own a lot of small caps and need to eventually unwind them, in order to preserve gains/not give any back and get back to normal stocks aka stocks with market caps worth more than 2 billion.

UPDATE: I bought 5,000 CECO @ $21.59, 5,000 ATHR @ $16.68 and 10,000 PCX @ $5.01.

UPDATE II:
One more small crap buy, 30,000 LVLT @ $1.07.

UPDATE III
: I sold out of ASX.

UPDATE IV
: I bought 10,000 ATHR @ $16.90

–Done for the day.

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Sweep The Leg

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I implore you to consume massive quantities of single malt Scotch, then proceed to “do the Karate Kid (crane kick)” on a variety of short sellers. You may pursue them up to 200mph in your tier one sports cars too, if necessary.

As for me, well, I’ve been busy sort of “roaming” the confines of my office, dressed in a white robe and sandals, while flicking cigar ashes at some of the lesser quality 3rd tier blogs on the internets. Oh, aside from that, I’ve been banking coin.

See Ladies, that’s what investing is all about: anticipate your enemies move, then crush him under a pile of horse manure.

On a much more serious note, “The Fly” is NOT pleased with the action in CROX, thus far. Now, it is possible for that bitch of a whore to redeem herself by the close of trade. However, at the moment, I am not enthused.

With regards to my other holdings: splendid!

Long STAR, LVLT, TBSI, OVTI, ASX, ALU, CECO, ARUN, CAVM, NVLS, JDSU, PCX and SONS has me thinking about running for Mayor. Congrats to all of you who played RUTH with Lord Ragin Cajun. Nice work.

Some other names worth perusing include: BGP, PQ, RNWK, LSI and EK.

UPDATE: I bought another 50,000 SONS, between $1.80-1.83.

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Scientifically, You’re Mentally Ill

All kidding aside, you fuckers need to subside with your “SOS style” of investing, watching every tick like a fucking stock monkey. I don’t mind you fucking with me, making fun of my prints. But, geez, if you people pass judgment on your positions on such a short time frame, I insist you get the fuck off margin and take a real job—mop a floor or some shit.

As for me, I made coin, based upon the shadows near my favorite urinal and the voices in my head.

Basically, I think the market can go higher, but I am not betting my life on it. Your meaningless book of business must not be compared to “The Fly’s,” for I am able to own stocks for a period longer than 30 minutes. The problem, as always, stems from your lack of funds and/or insistence on building portfolios based upon idiotic moving averages or asinine pivot points.

Truth be told, investing is an art and I am the Picasso of this game, while you’re just fucking around on an etch a sketch.

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