Quit Thieving

I know the bird feeders from CNBC read iBankCoin, after all, who doesn’t? Note to Sideshow Bob: quit thieving from “The Fly,” it’s very uncouth. Everyone knows, I’ve been highlighting my 4g/smartphone thesis for months now. There is no need to jack ideas, asshole: GO GET YOUR OWN.

Just when you thought the market was dead and buried, BAM, it wakes up like a hungry zombie and eats your brains, tartare style. Nonetheless, the warning flare is still out there for you nerdtrons to adhere to. Make sure to take some stock off the table, before September. Remember that.

Looking at my 4g watchlist, Brightpoint, Inc. [[CELL]] , Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] and RF Micro Devices, Inc. [[RFMD]] are breaking the chains of boredom, while Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] , Marvell Technology Group Ltd. [[MRVL]] and SanDisk Corporation [[SNDK]] rip the lungs out of those who short them. For a trade, I like Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] and TEKELEC [[TKLC]] . Longer term, I am emphatic about [[ENTR]] . As for Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] : fuckfaces.

Into this rally, I will put some cash to work, on a short term basis.

NOTE: Don Harrold will be blogging here for a few days. Enjoy.

Secretly, most of you wish death upon “The Fly.” Come to think of it, if I was a low level card puncher like you, I’d hate me too, always bragging about dumbass monetary victories and other shit. It gets boring and grating; I know, but don’t care enough to change. Some of you will never listen, no matter what. I respect that.

When I was half-way retarded, new in the business, I never took advice either. I wanted to learn for myself, even if it meant my head had to be tossed into a commercial size fan. Unfortunately, it took egregious losses and multitudes of missed opportunities to become God-like, living in under the umbrella of “God-ville” (no idea what the fuck that means). A wise man once told me, and I quote: “the quickest way to success is emulate those who have already made it.” After that, he started ranting about “faking it till you make it” and all sorts of stupid shit; then I lost interest and told him to go fuck his fishtank.

The point I am trying to make: The NY Mets are a really shitty baseball team. They should cease thinking for themselves and copy the Yankees, without variance, until they learn that shit (whatever the fuck the Yankees do) with their eyes closed, hands cut off and tossed into the Harlem River.

Regarding the market: the rally has ended; but I will not short stocks. Instead, I will bide my time, building watchlists for purchase. I have a 60%+ cash position and will be sitting pretty, if the market corrects. Back to my original point of not trying to catch tops: I am not. I had an exceptional situation today, with one of my motherfucking/bloodsucking positions getting raped by the assfuckers at Flotek. I had to lower the boom, since I could not afford to let the banana be mistaken for a penis (I may have that backwards, who gives a fuck, right?), while visiting the gorilla factory, if you know what I mean.

It’s Africa hot in NYC today and I am –the fuck– out of here.

I made my moves, by way of blowing the fuck out of another 30% of my holdings. There is no need to press the envelope any further with wishful trades. “The Fly” has the patience of a chestnut.

With God’s good gravy grace, I will be back to my winning ways tomorrow.

I have an interesting situation on my hands here, with my largest position Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] getting its cock blow torched. Just to be clear, FTK is my largest position, only because I sold everything else. In the big scheme of things, it’s only 5-8% of tradeable assets. Thanks to FTK’s 20% swan dive, I find myself down more than 5%, intra-day. Additionally, I do not believe the market will stop going lower here. In addition to that, I have been holding numerous positions that did not take off during the recent run. Pay attention Ladies, I am about to school you.

Because these positions were neutral to weak in a bull market, I know those fuckers will get “mushroom clouded” in a bad one. As a result of today’s black swan event, I am cleaning house—raising my cash levels to greater than 60%. The cash will not be held for more than a few days. I just need some time to figure out my next moves/set of positions.

I sold out of the following:

Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] , Advanced Micro Devices, Inc. [[AMD]] , Brocade Communications Systems, Inc. [[BRCD]] , Ceragon Networks Ltd. [[CRNT]] and ON Semiconductor Corp. [[ONNN]] .

For now, I will hold the balance of my Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , TeleCommunication Systems, Inc. [[TSYS]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] , [[UNG]] , TEKELEC [[TKLC]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]], Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] and [[ENTR]] positions.

NOTE: iBankCoin has a special guest blogger en route. Developing….

First, with regards to the trash haulers at Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] : they just reported an abysmal quarter. Their capital raise is not ideal, but better than the easy fix, which is a debt for equity swap. With the money they raised, the company lives to fight another day. I view the departure of the CEO as a positive development, mainly because he is old/stupid and sucks goat balls. Thank God the stock went parabolic to the upside, for little more than a week, prior to today’s castration. My sense, today will suck; but there are brighter days ahead. People who are short the stock, down in the 1’s, were doing so with the hopes of a pending bankruptcy. With today’s news, that is off the table; hence, the short covering will begin shortly.

The overall market is very weak, and may mark the beginning of a 5-10% correction. There is something different about today’s drop. It feels more real, like it has meaning. I will not be buying this dip. At the moment, I am blessed with a 35% cash position and the patience of an Ox in a fresh water lake, with lots of snacks lying around.

Aside from FTK and Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , my positions are doing okay. Nonetheless, Flotek is certainly fucking with my numbers—pushing me deep in the red for the day.

In short: I am not buying the dip, nor am I hedging. I am just waiting around for something interesting to happen.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOfyBtuyi8U 616 500]

“The Fly” was busy all day, fighting off “nerdtrons,” who were speeding up and down Wall Street in their fucking FAZ-mobiles. At the first sight of weakness, especially in Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , the fucktarded nerds come out of their caves, straight to the SRS-spaceshuttle for take off. When that fails, they board the FXP-unicycle, dressed in green leotards, attempting to roll over men in BIG fucking tanks, who have nuclear cannons balls ready to explode in their fucking faces.

Go ahead, fucktard, give me your best shot. My longs will turn your fucking head into magic dust.

As an aside, I enjoyed wins today in Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] and Level 3 Communications, Inc. [[LVLT]] . All in all, I was a net seller, blowing out of SD, PCBC and a bit of HBAN. I added to ACAS and do not give a fuck what your charts say.

I bought 10,000 American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]] @ $3.03.

Disclaimer: If you buy ACAS because of this post, you will day-trade yourself into oblivion. And, you will lose money.

Believe me, much of what I do is not appreciated. I’ve been bowling on fuckers for decades now, going back to when I was young. I remember throwing people out of trees and tossing people into the deep end of the pool, over minor quibbles. I’ve been running the “blog game” for 3 years now. Over that time, I have established a very recognizable presence, due to my “white robe” ways and diamond encrusted chalice swagger. I have defeated multiple TIM’s and made the dumbest of you, DEVILDOG, JOSH1ngU, etc, into my internet doormats.

It all started with my crazy thoughts on a blogspot site, which has evolved into a top rated financial website/powerhouse, hosting dozens of writers—and lots of crazy clowns.

I’ve been cutting carrots, while having my balls on the kitchen table, for quite a while now. I remember, back in the old days growing up in Brooklyn, playing tag in old abandoned factories—fucking with gravity. Fast forward to today, “The Fly” is unable to descend. I’m shooting so high, one might think I was retarded or some shit.

I digress.

At the end of the day, it’s my word against yours. I’ve been mastering my trade here, for hundreds of years (The Fly was a money manager in all previous lives), while you’ve been keeping busy polishing the evening silverware because your stupid wife ordered you to.

This blog is a gift. You have no idea how lucky you are, for even reading my insults catapulted into your laps, like a meatball attached to a fucking atomic bomb. I am long Pacific Capital Bancorp [[PCBC]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] , ON Semiconductor Corp. [[ONNN]] —the list goes on and on.

To sum up this post: I am getting richer by the second, while you waste away in your bullshit pleather chair from Staples. Do not player hate. Instead, hate the game.

Top picks: Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , American Capital Ltd. [[ACAS]]

UPDATE: I sold out of [[PCBC]] @ $3.33

What’s with your obsession to be 100% right, all the time? The best investors out there get shit wrong all the time. However, it’s the level of “wrongness” that separates them from you aka internet tradebot. Case in point: into sharp rallies, most retail investors lever up and go “balls on the kitchen table–while chopping carrots” long the market. Unfortunately, often times they are helping institutions get liquid into a crescendo of selling.

I may be barking up the wrong tree with many of you, since the holding pattern of the people on this site seems to be shorter than the time it takes me to take a leak at my favorite urinal. However, God willing, there are some of you out there who still swing for the fences, hoping for the game winning Grand Slam in the bottom of the ninth (against the Mets, of course). To those people, I warn you: Senor Tropicana will miss the top, mainly because he will not attempt to catch it. In the past, I made every effort to catch big inflection points, just so that I could dance on the graves of my enemies, with a little more frequency. However, with more than half of 2009 behind us and my gains built up to obscene levels—not 300% obscene, but obscene nonetheless— I am opting to play small and bold, instead of large and scared.

Do the math yourself, you stupid bastards. If you have a 50% gain, year to date, take 1/3rd off the table and keep playing. You don’t need to go 100% cash at the sight of every fucking sell-off. People, that is rookie shit, foolishly running up transaction costs due to amateurish fear.

Man the fuck up and choose your position. If you think the market is a short, leg into short positions, NOT inverse etf’s. That’s so 2007.

If you are bullish, float in and out of your favorite stocks, if you must. But, keep the long exposure at a constant 65%+, at all times. In the event the market melts the fuck down, you will not be badly impaired holding a 35% cash position. Furthermore, you can always use 20% of your cash for hedges, going short assholes stocks, with asinine valuations. I can name more than a few right now, particularly in the coffee space.

In short, “The Fly” is having a banner year, with gains coming out of his ears and nose. Barring some sort of “40oz. cracked over your head” situation, I will be riding this fucker out (the bull), until the legs fall off.