RED ALERT: RAISE CASH OR DIE

Let this be 1:25am warning to all of you homegamers: raise cash now, else get ready to feel the full brunt of Wall Street, just waking up from months of unchecked— cocaine infused— partying, hung the fuck over, just looking to sell shit, as if their brains were fried from bad tabs of acid.

Before I leave, I want to share a few thoughts, regarding the recent run in commodities. Despite tepid demand, commodity prices keep going higher, with sugar at 26 years highs and copper at an egregious 10 month peak. Oil is above $70, despite a severe global downturn, which begs the question: is somebody trying to sell me a $100 tomato?

Look at this fuckery:

It’s almost as if, THE POWERS THAT BE, got sidetracked by some bullshit credit crisis. Frantically, they worked to eliminate the risk to the system, in order to sell me a $100 tomato. I will say this: “The Fly” will take your $100 tomato and smash it in your face. He will siphon gasoline from police cars and dump it into the Harlem River, while on one of his “late night drives.”

From Freeport-McMoRan Copper & Gold Inc. [[FCX]] to Alpha Natural Resources, Inc. [[ANR]] to United States Steel Corporation [[X]] to The Mosaic Company [[MOS]] , we are in the midst of another commodity bull run. If you say it’s because of China, I will knock your mustache off.

It has nothing to do with China, dipshits.

All I have to say, in closing: beware of the $100 tomato, for you will not be eating it. Instead, it will be eating you.

Goodnight (crazy man unable to discern the correct time of day send off).

“The Fly” has lots of little, pesky errands to run today, so he will not be around to enjoy the market sell-off. Do not fear the sell-off, instead, embrace it. I warned you horse faces to raise cash and chill the fuck out. If you are getting “tea bagged” by today’s action, you have only yourself to blame. I know, it’s not fun watching the market rip through gains, like a stubborn cat through your collection of stuffed animals.

For me, it’s the same retarded stock, Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , that plagues me with losses. To be honest, sometime I feel like a “Simple Jack,” long that stock.

Don’t be surprised if a group of coked out bulls, backed by some Goldman robots, pared today’s losses in half, or more. Every time the market dips, someone is there to catch it. I don’t see any reason why that should not happen today.

Into weakness, I like Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] and [[ENTR]]

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There isn’t much more to say. The bears are being rotisserie cooked on a daily basis. The more people bet against the market, the higher she goes. Hence, that is why I will not short this market, no matter what. I much rather “cash-up,” than get my lips punched loose my a Goldman tradebot.

Top picks: Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] , [[ENTR]] and Sterling Financial Corporation [[STSA]]

See where it gets you.

The last person that bet against me is now homeless and halfway dead, living the streets of Texas, with nothing more than a box of devildogs to his name. There is no reason to short stocks. Why do you insist on inflicting damage to your portfolio? You know, I know investors. I know how the family structure works too. I am 100% certain your wife would skin you alive if she found out what you were doing to the family nest egg. You sit there, in your little swivel chair, listening to people who have never managed real money talk about the coming depression and how you should be shorting stocks. These people don’t know what it’s like to make or lose a million dollars, because they fiddle around in a bullshit 5 figure account over at E-trade.

Don’t come here, on “The Fly’s” site, talking shit about my market hand, while you are there, just gawking at the screen. I take great offense to your ungracious behavior and would prefer if you would, kindly (or not), GO FUCK YOURSELF.

I bought some more Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] today, looking for a major short squeeze. I can feel it; it’s gonna happen. Additionally, everything else, at least in my portfolios, is taking a breather. There are lots of other stocks that look good, like Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] , Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , Cypress Semiconductor Corporation [[CY]] , Regions Financial Corporation [[RF]] , Lindsay Corporation [[LNN]] , Patriot Coal Corporation [[PCX]] and UBS AG (USA) [[UBS]] ; but I do not feel like buying any. Don’t ask why.

In short, when you have the luxury of a 60% gain, there is no reason to press the envelope, on a muggy day in August.

I bought 25,000 Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] @ $4.62.

Disclaimer: If you buy HBAN because of this post, your only son will become an aspiring actor. And, you may lose money.

Let’s make it interesting this morning, shall we? Make believe you had a fucking brain attached to your skull and had $1 million dollars to invest in the market, where would you put it?

Would you buy a bunch of [[UNG]] and pray for hurricanes, like the horse face that you are? Or, would you buy up all of the banks, after 200% runs? Furthermore, what type of allocation discipline will you exhibit? What will be the maximum % of assets you will put in any one name, 5%, 10%, 20%?

I know a lot of you are just winging it, not paying attention to the minor details that make investing an art, not a science. You need to have barriers and limitations, or else you will get the Jewish wedding in the middle of Tehran treatment, once the market turns against you. I see people blowing themselves up all the time. Some successful business owners make the grave error of believing they can succeed in the market, just like they do in their respective businesses. Big mistake.

You have to put in the work, through studying and reading research/publications, to be a space alien magician. Most of you—not all—should be putting your hard earned money into mutual funds, or have some hedge fund manager run it for you. Most jackasses think learning how to read a few charts will lead to unparalleled triumph over the indices. Wrong. You have to put in the work, you lazy, fat fuckers. Put the cupcakes down and start taking this shit seriously, else find yourself working like a mule, trying to pay for your kids’ college tuition, for the next 20 years.

As for today’s tape:

German GDP numbers were better than expected; hence, we have an excuse to rally. Right now, the market is taking the path of least resistance, via slaughtering the bears and making them look like a bunch of “Simple Jacks.” I see breakouts all over, but will not chase. I have made an executive decision to chill out, like a penguin eating pancakes, until the market corrects 5-10%. Chill out meaning: I will hold no less than a 30% cash position.

If forced to choose one stock, right now, I’d say go long Huntington Bancshares Incorporated [[HBAN]] in size here.

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