iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,342 Blog Posts

More Good News For the Good Guys

For the record, I am not short [[MOS]]. In an odd twist of genius, I covered it all, below $95—a few weeks ago.

If you’re a bull, you have to be fucking thrilled with today’s non-farm payrolls. Think about it.

Who gives a shit about U.S. jobs, when there are plenty being created in China? After all, the U.S. stock market is no longer dependent on the U.S. As a matter of fact, big companies, like [[KO]], [[PEP]], [[CL]] and [[CAT]] urinate on the U.S., while taking advantage of the “global growth story.”

Fast forward ten years, the whole country will be one big “shanty town,” but [[X]] will be at an all-time high, thanks in large part to the wonderful emergence of China.

Regarding steel stocks:

Is anyone remotely interested in knowing why they are raising prices? I guess people think it’s just another “global growth play,” right?

How about sky rocketing iron ore and coking coal prices? Does any of that shit resonate with you?

As you can see, “The Fly” is a very sore loser. He is not pleased with recent losses, including his inevitable defeat in the Final Four contest.

Taking a step back, I can tell you, it is natural for the markets to rip higher in April, following an abysmal first quarter. Go ahead and look back at your stupid charts. I’ve already done the leg work.

However, typically, these April respites do not last. I would bet my head, that by May 11th, the market is lower than where it is today.

If the market were efficient, they’d meet today’s payrolls number with a fucking mountain of sell orders. However, instead, the bulls are running around, high on excess cocaine, acting like a hungry mountain lion on the floor of the exchange, just biting people’s arms off and shit.

More on this later.

Bad guy UPDATE: [[FED]] to zero, motherfuckers.

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Vegas Time

I’m leaving my Romanian mountain home, after getting into a fucking fight with one of the “illegal Mexicans” over here.

I’m now flying over to Vegas (Romanian Vegas), in order to play tomorrow’s jobs report.

Developing…

UPDATE: Goldman sacked Bear.

GOVERNMENT UPDATE:

The above story is an absolute lie. If you read it, you will go blind. Keep buying the banks, else we’ll kill you.

Hank Paulson, U.S. Government Bank Rescue Department, Goldman Sachs

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Special Emergency Message From Your Government

the fly is dead. This website has been seized by the U.S. Government.

Appreciate my candor. Quit being a dick and buy the banks, or we’ll kill you.

Hank Paulson, U.S. Government Bank Bailout Department, Goldman Sachs 

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Live From Romania

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ku9uhhGZKBQ&feature=related 450 300]

How’s the market doing?

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Off to Romania

Okay folks, “The Fly” has seen enough and endured his fair share of gut wrenching losses, since the beginning of Q2. As a result of erroneous and egregious short squeezes, “The Fly” has “opted out” of the stock market and will be heading to his “vacation home,” in the rugged mountains of Romania.

There are so many things going badly, it makes little sense to try to fix them.

Commercial real estate is on fire. Banks are cool again. Fucking ag and steel stocks NEVER trade lower. And, finally, Chinese stocks in the U.S. trade higher everyday, despite those same stocks trading lower everyday in China.

Quite frankly, I’ve been wanting to get away from this crazy city for awhile. In Romania, I intend to milk my goats and cut my grass. My dinner will consist of cured lamb, onion soup and unleavened bread.

As you can tell, I have little desire to fight through this tape, being short and all. The bulls have won. The recession is over.

God willing, upon my return, this country will be under attack from an enormous horde of hungry locusts, effectively deballing those devilish farmers and sending my [[MON]] short back lower again.

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Your Job is in My Portfolio

No one is buying that [[GRMN]] shit. People are milking food stamps for cheese, you think they have a little excess Visa credit to buy some stupid navigation system?

Hey, if you’re long that stock, I have no pity for you. The writing has been all over the wall on that one, for a long time. Remember [[SIRF]]?

Regarding the employment issue, expect people to lose their jobs. Plain and simple.

That’s what happens in economic cycles. When the economy contracts, corporations, in an effort to avoid going bankrupt, fire people. It’s the natural order of things. If you try to get in the way of the natural business cycle, like the Gov’t fuckers did in the 1930’s, you get a Great Depression.

Mr. Monsanto is punching off my face, thanks to some stupid analyst note. I hate those seedy bastards.

[[CSCO]] caught a downgrade. Good for them. They deserve it.

And, it looks like the “solar idiots” over at [[WFR]] issued a significant warning. Quite frankly, I know many of you love solar; but it’s gay. So sorry.

No one is buying those stupid solar panels either. Another GRMN in the making.

Finally, I expect the bulls will try to make lemonade out of today’s disappointing number; but, like Apollo Creed in Rocky IV, they will lose.

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Trannies: A Technical Look

As you can see by my careful analysis, the transports are bumping up against “the line of (certain) death” resistance. That shit is like a brick wall. No way it breaks that, son.

Also, if you notice on the graph above, “trannies blow.” Moreover, over the past year, tops have been met with “mad faces.” Although I do not see a mad face at the present, I expect one to develop, literally any day.

Finally, it’s worth nothing, this recent trannie run is being fueled by “bullshit” volume. Furthermore, most importantly, there is an ominous “tic-tac-toe top” formation at current levels.

If I were trading the transports, I’d sell them quicker than a 1 dollar pork sandwich in Beijing.

Trade accordingly.

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God Loves Ag Plays

Mr. Monsanto vexes me.

Just this morning, I was in my office celebrating the [[MON]] earnings disappointment (I am short), via dancing, singing and demonstrations of outright physical violence towards the MON annual report in my office.

I was fucking shredding the fucker, throwing coffee on it—even throwing loose pages at my trader/servant.

Then, all of a sudden, Mother Market took my “big dicked” gains and tossed them in the shitter and flushed— for the second consecutive day. This fucking stock will-not-go-down.

This, along with other “indicators,” tells me God loves “ag plays.” As a result of this new discovery, I will cease my futile attempts to drive God’s portfolio lower.

After all, there are much better places for my money right now, such as: short [[LEH]] and short [[FED]].

Regarding today’s trading:

Yeah, it went down. But the decline was rather milquetoast.  It gave me a bad feeling in my stomach.

At the end of the day, I regained some of the egregious losses from yesterday’s “fuck you, you’re dead” session.

I added to a lot of dumbass positions, while worrying about the “what if’s.”

Finally, the reversal of the commodity downtrend was impressive, with significant gains in oil and gold. Moreover, the dollar weakened throughout the day. Should this trend continue, expect to see more weakness poleax the markets.

Top pick: [[FXP]]

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