iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,047 Blog Posts

Late Day Thought

Is cocaine an “ag play”?

The farmers of cocaine need fertilizer too, no?

Poor coke suppliers must be getting squeezed.

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The Final Four Contest Winner…

…will be some guy named “Matt,” who picked [[FSLR]].

However, from what I can discern from the rules, should Matt fail to claim his prize by 5:00 pm, he will be forced to forfeit, effectively awarded the “prize” to the runner up.

Odd, no?

“The Fly” wins, even when he appears to be losing, badly.

UPDATE: The contest will end on Monday. I did not know RC scheduled it for that date.

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Let’s Trade From the Lunatic Wing

Might as well go long here, following a thousand point run. Why not?

With the weak dollar, we get to sell all of our bullshit appliances and stocks to disoriented foreigners. Naturally, this is a big win for [[BDK]] and [[WHR]].

Quit being a dick, buy them!

With our stocks down huge, when factoring the dollar decline, everyone must get long [[MER]], [[MS]] and [[GS]].

Regarding housing:

Nothing goes down forever. We must stop jibber-jabbering about the decline in home values. Don’t you get it? It’s a self fulfilling prophecy. The way to get home prices up is to stop talking about them.

My picks are [[BZH]], [[HOV]] and [[PHM]].

Don’t be a dick, buy them!

Also, who can resist feeding billions of people? I mean, we all need to eat. It’s safe to buy [[MON]] at any price. They have seeds that magically turn into food. No kidding!

Also, farmers no longer throw cow shit on their crops. They use fertilizers. Buy [[POT]], [[MOS]] and [[CF]] forever, even when you’re dead. Just leave orders in your will to buy them. Trust me, your family will love you for it.

Finally, steel prices are going to the moon. Look around, steel is everywhere, except cars. Cars are made from plastic. But, aside from cars, everything has steel. Plus, there are billions of people who need it, around the world. And, don’t forget, we are in a war.

To fight a war, you need to buy steel.

My favorite steel stock is [[X]]. X marks the spot, get it? (geekily laughing)

I’d buy X at any price, even $500. I see no slowdown in anything, except jobs. But, people don’t need a lot of jobs, just a little.

Everyone I know has a job. Shoot, even I have a job. I don’t understand why everyone makes a fuss over jobs. If you lose your job, go look for a new one. It’s that simple.

Might as well buy [[MNST]] off of that news too.

More later.

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Emergency Updated Alert: Switch Back to Hot Coffee

As you well know by now, ever since “The Fly” switched from hot/scalding coffee to the iced variety, the market has went up, much to his chagrin.

So, in an emergency meeting this morning, “The Fly” and his staff have agreed to endure hot/scalding coffee, during the warmer months of the year.

In other words, they’ve decided to “take one for the team.”

This, as you now, will confuse many on Wall Street and may cause extreme volatility, as traders jockey for position—reacting to this breaking news.

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More Good News For the Good Guys

For the record, I am not short [[MOS]]. In an odd twist of genius, I covered it all, below $95—a few weeks ago.

If you’re a bull, you have to be fucking thrilled with today’s non-farm payrolls. Think about it.

Who gives a shit about U.S. jobs, when there are plenty being created in China? After all, the U.S. stock market is no longer dependent on the U.S. As a matter of fact, big companies, like [[KO]], [[PEP]], [[CL]] and [[CAT]] urinate on the U.S., while taking advantage of the “global growth story.”

Fast forward ten years, the whole country will be one big “shanty town,” but [[X]] will be at an all-time high, thanks in large part to the wonderful emergence of China.

Regarding steel stocks:

Is anyone remotely interested in knowing why they are raising prices? I guess people think it’s just another “global growth play,” right?

How about sky rocketing iron ore and coking coal prices? Does any of that shit resonate with you?

As you can see, “The Fly” is a very sore loser. He is not pleased with recent losses, including his inevitable defeat in the Final Four contest.

Taking a step back, I can tell you, it is natural for the markets to rip higher in April, following an abysmal first quarter. Go ahead and look back at your stupid charts. I’ve already done the leg work.

However, typically, these April respites do not last. I would bet my head, that by May 11th, the market is lower than where it is today.

If the market were efficient, they’d meet today’s payrolls number with a fucking mountain of sell orders. However, instead, the bulls are running around, high on excess cocaine, acting like a hungry mountain lion on the floor of the exchange, just biting people’s arms off and shit.

More on this later.

Bad guy UPDATE: [[FED]] to zero, motherfuckers.

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Vegas Time

I’m leaving my Romanian mountain home, after getting into a fucking fight with one of the “illegal Mexicans” over here.

I’m now flying over to Vegas (Romanian Vegas), in order to play tomorrow’s jobs report.

Developing…

UPDATE: Goldman sacked Bear.

GOVERNMENT UPDATE:

The above story is an absolute lie. If you read it, you will go blind. Keep buying the banks, else we’ll kill you.

Hank Paulson, U.S. Government Bank Rescue Department, Goldman Sachs

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Special Emergency Message From Your Government

the fly is dead. This website has been seized by the U.S. Government.

Appreciate my candor. Quit being a dick and buy the banks, or we’ll kill you.

Hank Paulson, U.S. Government Bank Bailout Department, Goldman Sachs 

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Live From Romania

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ku9uhhGZKBQ&feature=related 450 300]

How’s the market doing?

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Off to Romania

Okay folks, “The Fly” has seen enough and endured his fair share of gut wrenching losses, since the beginning of Q2. As a result of erroneous and egregious short squeezes, “The Fly” has “opted out” of the stock market and will be heading to his “vacation home,” in the rugged mountains of Romania.

There are so many things going badly, it makes little sense to try to fix them.

Commercial real estate is on fire. Banks are cool again. Fucking ag and steel stocks NEVER trade lower. And, finally, Chinese stocks in the U.S. trade higher everyday, despite those same stocks trading lower everyday in China.

Quite frankly, I’ve been wanting to get away from this crazy city for awhile. In Romania, I intend to milk my goats and cut my grass. My dinner will consist of cured lamb, onion soup and unleavened bread.

As you can tell, I have little desire to fight through this tape, being short and all. The bulls have won. The recession is over.

God willing, upon my return, this country will be under attack from an enormous horde of hungry locusts, effectively deballing those devilish farmers and sending my [[MON]] short back lower again.

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