JUST ONE MORE HIT

I couldn’t help myself, man. I needed to take just one more hit. I swear, this time it’s for real. Just one more hit and then I’m gone.

I bought ARWR

What do make of it all? Oil is at 6 month lows, as well as the entire commodity space. Yields are now edging higher, based upon what exactly? Higher rates? Serious?

Let me tell you people something, this is crazyville and you’re all part of the lunatic fringe of people who run around with chinese lottery tickets in hand. I have two stocks up big today: SLCA and PANW. My utilities and TLT are lower. But the worst part is sitting here waiting for the world to end. I am not built to wait. I am a very impatient person and I am just learning about that right now.

VNET is getting smashed thanks to a Seeking Alpha hit piece and WBAI was targeted by Muddy Waters. At one point I was long both of those stocks. I sold VNET at $30. Do you see how stupid it is to hold these stocks long term?

There are very few things that I am confident in. One of them is US oil production. And to that end, I know that most exploration companies, like in the great gold rush, will fail. However, like in the gold rush, they need supplies to make their dreams a reality.

EMES, HCLP and SLCA are long term holds.

SLCA just upped guidance today, telling you that fracking sand demand is ‘off the chizain’ and how stupid everyone else is for not being them.

I once bought and sold SLCA for a quick trade. Then I bought it again, higher, saying to myself “don’t you dare sell it again, asshole.” Sometimes I have to speak to myself that way to get things done.

For those just tuning in, we are hosting our first annual investors conference in Vegas. Learn about the details here.

Ciao.

I am proud to announce we are hosting the first annual iBankCoin investors conference on November 8th, 2014, at the Encore Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada–to be hosted by The Option Addict, in addition to two special guest speakers, who will be revealed at a later date. The event will be Mc’d by Mr. Ragin Cajun and your truly will be in attendance, nothing but an innocent face in the crowd, plotting to kill those who oppose me.

If you’re interested in learning how to trade and how to leverage your accounts using options, truly, there is no better teacher than The Option Addict aka Jeff Kohler. For those who come to this site on a daily basis know of his leprechaun-like luck and SHOMP-like skills. It’s an honour for me to make this happen for him–because I know he’s looking forward to it.

There will be a VIP After Hours after-party, which comes at an additional expense. Believe you me, no corners will be cut and this will be an event to behold. This being the first annual event, I am sure many of you in this community look forward to meeting one another, perhaps kicking each other about the shins and face bones while properly inebriated.

Oh, the VIP event will be held at a suite in the MGM, to be catered and staffed, fully stocked with anything you lushes might feel like drinking.

NOTE: We have an early bird special going for $699/$1,699 (VIP), good for the first 50 sign ups. After that, prices go up.

Listen to me now you malefactors clad in cheap regalia.

The Fed is ending QE in October and the ‘real’ market is suggesting chicanery is at hand. I know some of you like to believe there is an imaginary inflation boogie monster out there, forcing the Fed to raise rates. This isn’t true.

Look at my Raw Commodity Index, ytd.

Now tell me, how do you explain that?

Apparently, all of the money is fleeing the real economy and flooding into chinese burrito stocks? Is that your game plan?

Fair enough. Deflation is part of every economic cycle and eventually these draw downs will benefit corporate balances sheets through input expenses. But it doesn’t happen by happenstance.

Deflation is bearish for stocks. The Fed isn’t acknowledging this and has decided to end QE, regardless. European and American government bond yields are at record lows. Why is that?

These are just a few questions you should ask yourselves before buying YY on margin.

This is the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Throw away your stupid Patek and go wait on line, from now until January, 2015, to buy the new iWatch.

BEHOLD.

Everything you once new about time has changed. As you can see, Apple has made it distinctively clear that time, for lack of better words, is a flat circle (carcosa).

This piece of art will retail out to the consuming public for $349. With the revenues generated from the sale of the new smart watch, Apple intends to hoard it for a very rainy day, agitating hedge fund managers to no end.

Here is a nice picture gallery of the newest iPhone. Since I don’t care about this event, I haven’t been paying attention to the conference and do not know if the iWatch has been revealed yet. But isn’t it remarkable that the world is paying attention to this product release?

Apple is the single best company America has ever produced. There has never been anything like it. The mistake would be to believe it was an electronics or a computer company. Nonsense.

Apple is a marketing company, whose attracted the brightest minds because of their eccentric CEO (S. Jobs). This company, this celebration of American genius, has amassed a cash fortune of 150 billion dollars over the past decade. I own Apple from as low as the $50’s and never sold. Some people I know own it much lower, as do you.

Will there ever be another company like it?

Doubtful.

The classic story of the phoenix rising from the ashes to become supreme is a hard one to duplicate. Companies like FB and TWTR all have their place, but, thus far, none have even come close to achieving success like Apple.

On this day, I do not fantasize over the newest Apple device. Instead, as a business owner and investor, I marvel at the company Jobs built and wish it continues to grow and kick those other Korean companies down the sewer pipe.

Drop whatever you’re doing. Cancel your appointments. Apple is set to unveil its latest iPhone device, as well as an iWatch (no Patek). As soon as the phone and watch are released, hounds will scurry about the landscape in an effort to smash them into pieces, in order to see the component parts inside of it.

Rumor has it that silicon on sapphire is being used on the new phone, replacing stupid gorilla glass. GTAT is the vendor. RBCN is another supplier; however, that company is run by ‘true apes’ and haven’t been able to make anything out of their lives–thus far.

My question to you today is this, and it is the same question I keep asking myself–being an Apple man and all:

WILL YOU BUY AN iWATCH AND DO YOU REALLY NEED ONE?

Mrs. Fly quizzed me as to why I needed one, being a regular consumer of high end watches and all. My answer to her was very simple: “I need to buy it because I am Dick Tracy. Do not question my authoratai” (extra Cartman).

To the bedraggled microbe who said “Fly has been calling a top for two weeks”: you Sir are a jackass. I’ve plainly stated, as clear as the day is long, that I was cautious for the month of September. Hypothetically, let’s imagine I sidelined myself during this entire month, dreadfully positioned in treasuries, utilities and cash, would I hurt myself? These are the things you don’t think about before you speak. You are very stupid men, undeserving of my attention and time. BRACE YOURSELVES FOR LOWER PRICES.

(cue mysteriously spooky music)

The chinese stocks have taken their debauchery to a new level today, with outsized gains in DSKY, CMGE and TEDU–just to name a few (all former positions of mine, might I add). This all has to do with that wicked faced man, that monster, Jack Ma, CEO of Alibaba.

BABA will come public soon, so the third estate, people like you, are chasing stocks that remind them of BABA. Jesus Christ the level of stupidity here is so acute, it’s making me shake as I write this.

Do not bother me with your stock picks, or predictions of “new highs, for-fucking-ever.” You are the same people who were crying rivers of blood during the last correction, and the one before that, and the one before that.

I’ve seen this before. I’ve seen all of it and will remain patient, as you Eddie Barzoons bounce around trying to rape each other.

The near term top has been seen. Go now child,  it is time to head back down the other side of the mountain.

These words were uttered to me by the shadows inside of my urinal.

Nothing can stop this perverted market from going higher, not even lunacy. I sold CMGE TEN POINTS LOWER and all of the burritos and all of the biotech hand grenades that looked weak last week are rifling higher.

How long do I seat myself atop this wall, waiting for the shoe to drop?

Well, it’s only September 8th and there is a lot of time left in the month for surprise sex. Naturally of course there is the idea that waiting for disaster, instead of playing it, is entirely a waste of time. I might as well day trade internet stocks, or sell everything, and be done with it–if I am not man enough to sell something short, no?

But you’d be wrong about that, since I’m only cautious with my trading dollars. I still own egregious amounts of stock. I know, I know, I know, it doesn’t matter and I cannot have it both ways.

I’ll tell you what. If this market is still spinning higher 5 days after the BABA ipo, I will sell my utilities, treasuries and invest my cash. It’s as simple as that. I’m not losing money on my defensive positions. Well, maybe today I am; but overall, I am not.

Let me remind you that this sort of perversion, wanton disrespect for the laws of mathematics, is not only immoral, but indicative of a market overheating. Yes, WDAY is a great company–but not for 31x sales (drops mic, walks off stage).