Market Recovers; China Clown-Raped

It’s very nice to see the market recover and kick shorts down into sewer pipes. But don’t get cocky now; nothing has been resolved yet.

As our markets recover and you gleefully skip across the grassy fields, the chinese are stuck in the half-world, fending off beasts and craven devils who possess farmers to buy and then sell their stocks with vigor and tenacity.

Have a look at some of the chicoms today.

The Chinese Lotto guys have been killed. There has never been anything even remotely cool about China, a denizen for dogs eaters and the Father of all lies. But this sort of carnage is bound to have ramifications.

Be mindful of your surroundings lads. If you didn’t buy the opening bloodfest, you’re chasing now. Enjoy the respite and take pride in the fact that you aren’t a chinese farmer leveraged out to the hilt in A shares right now.

Why, nothing at all.

Markets like to pretend everything is a fucking drama. It will get worked up over this Greek tragedy, as it has gotten worked up by countless issues over the years, panic people into selling, induce fear and make people do things that are detrimental to their net worths.

It’s a dizzying panorama of madness, trying to balance the scales of sanity between the German and Greek governments.

The talking potatoes on CNBC are going to drum up the drama to a feverish temperature. But their motives are insidious, out for ratings and ad dollars. What is really at play here? It’s a nonsensical moronic dance between ancient people, who traditionally hate each other. Eventually, this will end and there will be a deal or a flat out default and mega-crisis in Greece.

Odds are, there will be a deal.

The losses that you’re enduring now will become a faint memory and new highs will be had again, much to the chagrin of a certain Bluestar–presiding from the volcanic ashes of Hawaii.

Nevertheless, don’t underestimate the fear that is out there now and how it could wreak havoc, at least for awhile. Be patient and buy quality.

It was very apropos of me to feature the film “The Crash” yesterday, was it not?

Futures are indicating a 250 point slide at the open; but it will be much worse than that. The homo hammer of certain death will appear in Europe this evening to annihilate them once and for all. Don’t be shocked to find 5% declines across Europe this evening, as the euro experiment burns up in the funhouse it was ended in today: Greece.

None of your charts mean anything tonight. Get your watchlists handy and focus on companies with a heavy emphasis on domestic sales. Stocks like HAIN and SBNY come to mind. Homebuilders and mortgage plays too, all focused on domestic growth.

The Greek people celebrate America’s birthday this evening by defecating on its flag and the flag of all western nations beholden to it–thanks to its enormous debt burden. Naturally, we’re all interested to find out the exposure risk and who is going to get fucked the hardest. None of this should propagate a credit crisis, a la Lehman Bros circa 2008. To equate the two in the same sentence is fucking ridiculous. Nevertheless, markets are ruled by emotions. In the interim, people are scared and leveraged. This is a dynamic recipe for a sharp sell off, one that will prove to be the single best buying opportunity of 2015.

Luckily for me, I am upwards of 25% cash, with AAPL being my largest position. However, I still expect to lose money tomorrow, as I am exposed to vast quantities of shares that will get clown raped as soon as trade begins. My choice is to cut the rest loose and wait out until a better market presents itself. Or, I can simply hold what I already own and opportunistically average in and then exit upon a reflex rally.

Either way, most of you are 100% fucked. Enjoy tonight’s supper, Greek style.

None of you Wall Street motherfuckers have heard of this movie, as you’re too busy keeping your heads registered in mountains of cocaine to ever attain a semblance of culture in your lives.

Classic Wall Street film, made during the height of the Great Depression.

This is about having it all and then losing it. You get to see how some spoiled rotten harlot conducted herself, after her husband lost his wealth. But the most interesting aspect of the movie, to me, was the fact that the crash had just happened 3 years before the movie was made. It’s a time capsule of sorts, an interesting peek into a world of whorish vaudeville and extravagant excesses, just like today!

You can watch it on Youtube for $2.99 or rent it on Amazon for the same price.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1pNh6R2POw

I cannot partake in blogging experiments today, as I am too busy to mind the store. I will refer back to myself for your entertainment and daily dose of stocked market wizardry.

I present to you, the reader class fucked face pleb: The Un-Gentleman Guide of 4th of July Festivities.

Risk is off. Don’t let the late day respite fool you. XLU is leading the charge and a wide array of risk stocks are off.

How can I prove it?

Inside Exodus, I keep a ‘Bubble Basket’ to assess the risk climate of the tape. The basket is comprised of high risk/high reward plays. This is the 3 mo chart.

Into the bell, I am upwards of 25% cash. I hold only a few trading positions now: ONCE, AAPL, CYBR and SBNY. I’ve been whipsawed over the past two weeks, shedding more than 6% from the highs. I need to slow shit down, up the market cap of my holdings and reduce the volatility.

I already saw this show. It was on last year. It was starring me, with Big Ass Gains (BAGs) that quickly turned into Big Ass Losses (BALs).

Fuck this shit, 1,000 ways till Friday. I am raising cash. After I raise the cash, I am going on siesta, away from this shit. I’ll be drinking NASDAQUERIES somewhere else, certainly not here, however. I’ve put in a lot of good work, grinding out gains this year. I’ll be damned if I let it all go to waste, like some sort of bedraggled microbe.

I should’ve kept XLU, but I didn’t. I also should’ve taken profits on some of these stocks, right out the gate. But I didn’t. No use crying over spilt milk, and then bleeding out into it.

I sold QLYS and SAGE. I will keep the rest, for now. But everything is on the chopping block.

Apparently people don’t think their gonna get hacked anymore. Let me remind you, you’re gonna get hacked. Not only that, someone is gonna take all of your shit, down to your couch from the delivery truck. They’re gonna fucking hack your hospital records to make sure the nurse over-medicates and  kills you. And then they’re gonna hack your funeral, to make sure your body is shipped to Siberia for burial.

I have so many things to do today; trust me when I say, you don’t want to be me. I have 50 punk teenagers coming to my house for gratuitous festivities, to celebrate their worthiness in this world, which in turn, by extension, will attempt to celebrate my idiocy.

Markets are soft, like weak men who don’t go to the gym. One punch and this fucker is going down.

I almost feel like the Cat in the Hat dude, all cranky and shit, from Green Eggs and Ham. I don’t like this shit, here, there or anywhere. I need to chill the fuck out, drink my God damned coffee and get all zen-ful and shit. That is funny. It’s like asking a savage dinosaur to go on a vegan diet, you know, to lower his cholesterol and shit.

Fuck my cholesterol.

In two days we celebrate ‘Merica, amidst beer’d cans, hot dogs, and sticks of dynamite. Sure, some fingers will be blown–the fuck–off. But it will be worth it, no? Those pesky Red Coats thought they could tax us without representation: WRONG. Look at us now, hardly taxed and so represented, and shit (extra rainbow’d flag)

Good day to you.

Everyone is an analyst all of a sudden, experts in the credit markets. Too bad the fucking analyst suck too. The lack of humility you exhibit, with your disgusting display of pseudo-intellectualism, makes me sick to my stomach.

Just today, I was minding my own business, walking about the town of Princeton, like I always do, carrying a bag filled with barrel assed cupped-cakes, periscoping the whole ordeal, in order to give the goblins from the internets a view of a nice town. Immediately, I was ATTACKED with chants and “do this” and “do that”, “KILL SOMEONE FLY, KILL SOMEONE.”

What sort of world is this?

Now the butt-fuckers from the ass-end of Europe take the pole position (extra homo). They’ve got the metro-sexuals from Europe exactly where they want them, mad and impotent.

By the way, I’ve always wanted to segue into this topic, IF YOU WILL.

If you’re unable to partake in fornication without the use of cialis or viagra, perhaps Darwinism is taking a hold of you. I know it is, you fucking limp’d dicked pussies.

Goodnight.

For the session, I’m down about 0.5%, diverging–IF YOU WILL–away from the broader trending indices. Throughout the entirety of the day, I’ve been kept busy with refrigerator delivery men, who subsequently destroyed my front door and wall adjacent. Also, I’ve been in the field, picking weeds, planting daisies–literally.

And, to boot, there is much work to be done, lads. The floors need a good scrubbing and we must procure–IF YOU WILL– twelve pounds of organically grass fed chopped meat–alongside pounds of potato’d salad and hotted dogs.

As such, I haven’t even taken the opportunity to nibble, not even on a singular crumb, on a parcel of food. I was permitted, as such, to drink a glass of water and also partake in the purchase of CYBR this morning, by which I am immediately down 3.5%.

Dark clouds convene over me. I can feel it now, just like I felt it then: I AM CURSED (cue lightening bolts shattering the rooftop of House Fly).