BOOM-$SHAK-A-LACKA

The good folks over at iBankCoin created a world class investment tool for you, the reader class pleb, fighting and scrounging about the housing tenements in search for a better life. Many of you have become members of our Order of the Exodus and have since greatly improved your trading acumen.

Inside of the halls of gentlemen, I host a blog for private eyes only. Here was my Trade of the Month idea for August.

If that wasn’t enough, you were given ample opportunity to accumulate the shares of SHAK, which were flagged as oversold for the better part of the past two weeks, by our predictive algorithms.

Failure is a choice made deep inside the minds of submental morons. Avoid the fate of your brethren and be a man, an Exodus man.

Good day to you.

Ask yourselves this one question:

Who benefits from a lower stock market?

If answered correctly, you’d come to the quick conclusion that no one benefits from it and the country is better with a good stock market, as opposed to a weak one.

But is it that simple?

Since 2008, the government has made it their business to intervene, for the explicit purposes of higher equity valuations. We all know the Fed and their parlor tricks. We also know what the ECB did to quell their market scare. So what the fuck is going on now?

Could it be as simple as: not much going on here, merely a correction, a way station, on our way to a felicific mode of living?

How do I make such deductions (Exodus is the truth)?

$19 trillion in debt and growing, our national disgrace being fueled by and funded by capital gains. Pray tell me, without those lofty gains, hedge fund managers tossing blow in the air, chased by champagne corks, where is the money gonna come from?

My confidence in our markets runs parallel to the direct manipulation of it, courtesy of our central bank.

SHAK is the future. Fuck your burritos.

As the market spins itself into a deadly orbit by which most of you will not escape from, I actually have a stock going higher. It’s an amazing thing, to have an actual, real life, equity trade up.

I’ve been so accustomed to downward trending stocks, seeing SHAK forge ahead is like seeing Santa Claus on Xmas eve, as an 8 year old boy.

“The Fly” could get used to this sort of grandeur, investing into corporations and then seeing that investment increase in value. What a wonderful scheme!

Why, maybe I could parlay these money making ideas into a business where I invest on behalf of others, charging them a fee for the pleasure, and then leverage those relationships to build new ones.

Splendid ideas without boundaries are being shared today.

Maybe after I’ve enjoyed a pittance of success, I could then talk about my winnings on the internet, yelling and cursing at people to my heart’s delight. I might even make a business out of that too.

In light of GILD raising $10 billion in a convertible bond offering, I did a little digging into who might be an attractive acquisition target, not only for them, but any major pharma. This is all speculation on my part. It’s almost impossible to guess which R&D mill will be acquired next, which is why I added in a small caveat of $250 million minimum in annual revenues into my screen.

This way, I am only producing real companies with real businesses. In the event my merger pipe dreams fail, at least I’ll still own a company that could survive on its own, without the help of capital markets to keep it afloat.

Surprisingly, the list of “real” companies with growth, in the biotech space, is rather exclusive.

Here is what I came up with. For Exodus members, the screens are here and here.

HZNP

DEPO

INSY

TECH

LCI

ACOR

ACET

EBS

SGEN

ISIS

INCY

BMRN

ENDP

GRFS

ILMN

MDVN

JAZZ

UTHR

I limited the scope of the screen to companies with market caps below $30 billion, for obvious reasons.

If you’re trying to catch day trades or market time high beta stocks, you landed on green today and the house stole all of your money. In my experience, market’s like this are dangerous. A few mega-cap names mask the hurt underneath, leading to a false sense of optimism. Shares of AAPL, BIIB, GILD, PANW, AMZN trend higher and everyone thinks the coast is clear again.

If you looked under the hood, you’d learn that just 53% of stocks were higher today. A wide swath of names were pummeled into the fucking rocks, bashing brains in and leaving stock brokers strewn out across the dirt to be run over by monster trucks.

This shit is far from over. We need conclusion. We need some sort of news driven event to cast away the demons and scare the shit out of the bears. We need to ruin them.

Keep your margins in line and don’t speculate with all of your money at once. Odds are your first purchase will be wrong. If you go all in on an initial purchase, you become a “weak hand”, who will be flattened the fuck out on the first sign of weakness. But if you’re buying in small increments, you can somehow average your way out into a profitable position, barring some sort of catastrophe.

Offering specific stock ideas is somewhat meaningless today. I think you should focus on structure and how to deal with this whipsaw action first.

Have a look at our Exodus video and sign up now, else face death.

NOTE: Remember to like our Facedbook page and earn a chance to receive a box filled with stuff from me.

Three different scenarios will play out here; but most people trying to game it will lose.

We continue this fade and dive into the fucking rocks, into the bell, begging for mercy.

Or

The market fades the faders. Margin calls get liquidated. Natural buyers step in, stoking the flames of a short squeeze, running hot into the bell.

Or

We do none of that shit and just sort of limp into the bell, no viagra, no cialis. Just straight up impotency in a great big whore house.

Place your bets you degenerates. I’ll be over here eating sandwiches.

Bear  in mind that GILD just did a $10 billion convertible bond offering, usually an early tell on a company’s intentions to buy back shares or making an all cash acquisition.

It’s amazing how hated the medicine man stocks are right now. Look at my ONCE. They hosted a conference call this morning to calm down investor fears of their phase 3 trials, said all good things, and the stock dropped 4 on the open.

You people need to unwind, take it easy, and smoke a few phillied blunts stuffed with marijuana.

The market looks fine. PANW is showing you something and no one is paying attention.

How is CYBR down today?

Both distressed biotech and social media are worth a shot here, if you haven’t already made your 10 billion dollar fortune (extra David Tepper).

Can I just say that this investors conference that we are planning is the bane of my existence? I truly regret emeshing myself in it; but the show must go on.

Here’s what we got planned, so far.

1. The Option Addict just emailed me his itineray. Tell me what you think.

Understanding Market Dynamics – How to gauge speed, correlations,patterns, and direction.
Past Versus Present – 2014 vs 2015…What Did We Learn?
Market Rotations – Finding the Next Explosive Move in Stocks

Trading through Different Market Conditions – A fast and slow portfolio
Trading for a Living – Here’s How We Did It

 

2. Josh Brown aka The Reformed Broker was going to show up at the Harvard Club, instead of Yale. Can you believe that? I was almost tempted to have him commit such a grave atrocity.

3. Jeff Macke is being transported by steamboat around the horn of Africa and will be wearing Lulu lemon pants.

Also, I am having Ragin Cajun order halloween costumes for all attendees. Trust me when I say, they are very, very scary.

And, finally, I am unsure as to what room to lock down, because many of you ham and eggers wait until the last second to decide whether or not you will attend. So do this for me, will you?

Email me @[email protected] and tell me you have an interest in attending. This way I can properly plan for this fucking thing and can get back to leading a life of gentleman speculator in peace. Can you do that for me, you little fuckers?

Yeah, I look forward to seeing you too.

Because I have nothing better to do with my time, “The Fly” is going to randomly select one of you lucky fuckers, who like our Facebook page, and send you a box filled with “stuff.” I haven’t decided what I will send. But I will send something, nevertheless.

I will do this upon iBankCoin receiving 1,000 likes; because being liked is what I’m all about.

When we reach this minor milestone, I will go shopping for one of you ham and eggers. I might send you a fucking blender. Or, I might just send you a map that leads to a treasure chest filled with shit. Who knows? I am undecided.

If we can attain such a modest level of appreciation in a timely fashion, I will send more boxes filled with shit for every thousand likes.

Why am I doing this?

It’s important that I be permitted to spread my propaganda amongst the maximum number of “readers” possible.

You’re all punk-ass bitches. It’s impossible to have a decent market with people like you trading in it, always dumping out, ham and egging it, capital losses abound.

Stocks are now careening lower, reversing nearly 400 points from this morning’s open. How wonderful!

Every second that passes, I lose 5k. When growing up, this is exactly what I envisioned myself doing, getting beat the fuck down, watching the values of my equities fluctuate like temperature in the desert. This is 100% bullshit and all of you are to blame.

I’ve done my part, trying to keep spirits up, buying into the blood, being a man. But not you, the American Coward, sashaying in and out of stocks, taking “rips” and eating potato chips lathered with ranched dressing, stuffing onion rings into and around your big, fat fucking faces.

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. I shouldn’t have to put up with this sort of chicanery. “The Fly” is an upstanding citizen of the United States, located in the Northeast corridor of these great lands. I’ve built profitable businesses and have dedicated vast swaths of my time to entertain a reader class during times of duress, as well as triumph. I come to work in order to bank coin, and make fun of bears. This whole upside down nature to the markets is insidious, cancerous and wholly unwarranted, even though it’s completely understandable.

For the day, I shed a little more than 1%.