Demoralizing Grind

Everyone loves V-shaped recoveries, even bears. They get to be executed in a timely fashion, the bulls get their money, and everyone is pretty much accepting of the notion that stocks are not to be trifled with. But these long, drawn out, grinds are what everyone hates. They toss and turn, scrape and skid, until your portfolios are nothing but magic fairy dust.

This is the worst market ever, a denizen of torture.

Look at today’s mess: +150 but just 59% of stocks are higher. Moreover, my Bubble Basket, neatly tucked away in Exodus, is down for the day. In other words, good companies are having their shares sold down, due to valuation, while other shit lifts. I am sure I could easily find out what other shit is trending, but why bother? By tomorrow, that shit will be lower and the Bubble Basket will be higher, and vice versa, for infinity, until everything is ash.

960 stocks are OVERSOLD in Exodus today. The overall hybrid has broken through the floor boards and is now testing new levels of OS, the likes I haven’t seen since 2011–all the while our President is closing on a deal with Iran. How wonderful.

What will drag this market out from its funk?

For starters, the god damn absentee Fed Chief can come out from hiding and tell people she’s not gonna raise rates during a fucking panic.

I imagine some of you fancy yourselves to be operators, stock plungers of the likes of Jesse Livermore. You sold short the market, endured a 1,000 point ‘reflex face ripping rally’ and walked away from today’s -500 a smug faced champion.

Your monies will soon be absconded.

There isn’t a moat deep and wide enough to defende against the Dick Guillotine, currently being rolled out from the outskirts of town into the city square. It’s wooden grandeur strikes fear into the hearts of short sellers everywhere. Upon seeing it, most shriek with fear and soil themselves, hiding behind their horses.

I cannot tell you with certainty that September will bear fruits of patience and offer bulls an escape from their current misery. I can only remind you that these ‘squalls’ have come and gone bfore and the end result, with exception to a handful of occasions, has been a resumption to the 200 year trend of higher equity valuations.

To be clear: my bullish position is temporary for the month’s of September and October.

So when Greece was a problem for Europe, it was befitting for the Fed to intervene with QE, in order to prop up markets. But when China implodes, the single most important market in the world next to America, they talk about raising interest rates?

Are these people out of their fucking minds?

Janet Yellen has been all but invisible during this crisis. Maybe she should take a look at the banking sector today and bear witness to the amount of losses that has afflicted shareholders. All of the crisis’ that have victimized investors over the past 6 years are child’s play compared to a potential China crisis. This is the biggest event to hit the markets since the housing bust.

Lo and behold, the Fed is acting in the same manner that they did back then: doing absolutely nothing.

We’re supposed to flee the battlefield when the opposing army outnumbers us by more than 2 to 1. If their armaments are appreciably better than ours, we are supposed to take up defensive positions and brace for a long night.

If this were a battlefield, this is the Romanian Calvary, atop goats, charging towards a bull’d up Navy Seal line, armed with drones and scout snipers in high ground. Quite simply, you bears are pathetic dick-grabbers, without a bag to piss or shit in.

This is how it will go down.

IT WON’T.

You catamite motherfuckers are gonna rue the day you decided to fuck with us. We’re gonna catapult so many fucking NASDAQS into your flotilla, it will sink from the waves washing across your bows. The market will soon come to grips with the fact that nothing else matters but equities. Federal Reserve/European Central Bank Action will mind fuck all of the dog-eating bumblers at the PBOC into a position of inferiority. The Chinese game is one of smoke and mirrors. Once they get their fog machine working again, Dr. Benjamin Bernanke, from the confines of his smoked out corner office at Citadel, will smoke the bears hot, locked inside of a burning cabin with no place left to go but up.

You’re all inexorably fucked for an extended period of time. My misfortune is not having more cash on a day like today. Your misfortune is not having a brain to wade through the muck we face over the next two years.

The market is a minefield, filled with Bouncin’ Bettys, of pain and misery. Commiserate with your stupid friends over the good times you had, playing about the stocked market in all sorts of nefarious names, cheerfully and expressively making money in a very flamboyant way.

Those days are officially over. You must prepare yourselves for a new ‘calm normalcy’, one of wanton depression and vagrancy.

Your jobs will soon be lost.

Your retirement funds will be clever’d in half.

Your wife and kids will leave you because you’ll be penniless, retarded and dependent on alcohol.

This is the nascency of your problems. Ironically, they were all ‘made in china’, just like the cheap wares you bought yourself at Walmart, in an effort to save money and waste the said savings on drugs and alcohol.

THIS IS DISASTER. Brace for it.

Happy trading 🙂

The last time the NASDAQS fell by more than 5%, aside from 2015’s -5.65% showing, was in 2010 and 2011.

What happened next, back then?

In September of 2010, the NASDAQ pounded shorts into fucking clown-dust to the tune of +13.17%.

In September of 2011, the NASDAQ declined by -4.49%.

Howsoever, in both years, the NASDAQ ran hard in October, to the tune of +6.34% and +10.4%, respectively.

In other words, bears, enjoy your happy tidings, for this wave of pessimism is bound to pass with the leaves of summer.

It’s gonna be a hot Fall.

Data provided by Exodus.

So many of you forget that there is a whole world outside of stocks. There are countless things to do with idle time than try to trick your neighbor into selling his shares to you at a discounted value. The allure of wealth and freedom is too much for many of you to bear. It poisons your minds to do stupid things. As a result, you end up losing vast sums of dollars, broke, ruined, a naked forked radish.

To quote a great man: it’s the baseless fabric of a vision that will be your undoing.

Avarice and greed are deadly components that can easily ruin a perfectly good life. Do you really need all of that money, or simply want it?

My old mentor was the most gluttonous person that I’ve ever met. He drove Ferraris and wore 250k watches, bragging about his wealth and making sure his homofied condo in NYC was adorned with fresh flowers three times per week. One day, while on vacation, he took the sun at a beach, a private one no doubt. Apparently he had a neck cramp and exhibited signs of discomfort. What a shame!

One of the fellow, well-to-do, vacationers witnessed his discomfort and asked if he could help. As luck would have it, my mentor was sun bathing on a private beach with a well-to-do chiropractor. The chiropractor asked that he lay face down in the sand, in order to properly reposition his spine. How wonderful!

“Snap, crackle, pop,” and his neck was broken. After six months of rigorous rehabilitation, my mentor was ready to Eddie Barzoon his way across the country again, wheeling and dealing to his hearts delight.

I am filled with questions today. Pardon me as I take the day off and let you answer all of the questions.

Look at all of them oil stocks up 15% today. Aside from The Devil, who called me the other day to tell me he was long oil via OAS, I know very few people who had the guts to step into the Saudi sandbox a week ago. Had you done so, and exhibited a modicum of internal fortitude, you’d be up 30% today.

Alas the joys of end of world trading volatility. Oil stocks trade down, uninterrupted, for 6 straight months and then explode by +30% and we’re all supposed to get excited about it. Well, pardon me once again if I opt to not give a shit and instead favor loafing about the house in my robe, drinking coffee and throwing pastries onto my neighbors lawn.

Stocks sucks. I have 25% cash left. God willing I will add to my positions in a timely manner.

That is all.

I haven’t been paying attention to the market today. Please, tell me, what did I miss?

I am sure deep down, I’ve been worried to pieces. There must be something unique taking place in the oil markets, given the price volatility. I am 100% certain all of you are working diligently, as I loaf about the house eating pastries. Don’t worry about Le Fly gaining weight and becoming obese either, for he is genetically dispositioned to be thin.

At any rate, I must be going now. I think I hear the kettle whistling and I am a bit parched from all of these pastries.

Talk later, ciao.

A sufficient amount of people were sucked back into the markets last week. As such, futures are inexplicably diving lower by 150 and your prospects for fortune have all but withered away and dissipated into the wind, like the embers from the bones of a body that was just doused with petrol and set aflame near a breezy beach.

I can only hope that the final 25% cash that I am holding can be allocated in a smart manner, away from impulsive acts of greed. This squall that we are going through has been run of the mill for the past 2 years. This hasn’t been a “good” market for a long time. It’s a traders/stock pickers market, loaded with lots of inverse fixin’s and bottomless money pits.

Into further weakness, I am a buyer of MNST, DIS, AMCX, CYBR and even YELP. I also think gold can begin to counter-trend the downward action again.

I am only interested in the next move higher for a trade; because I feel, without a shadow of a doubt, that this market is entirely fucked for at least two years–as we digest a gross deceleration of growth emanating from the dog-eating nation of China.

Do I trust the PBOC to bail themselves out and renew China to its former inglorious methods of fast growing and corrupt chicanery?

I most certainly do not.